Catwoman Hunted: A New Voice For Catwoman?

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Catwoman, voiced by Elizabeth Gilles, becomes the subject of a manhunt after her attempt to steal a precious jewel lands her on the wrong side of a powerful crime organisation.

I would say as far as DC animated fare goes this was slightly above average. I thought Gillies did a very strong job as Catwoman and nearly perfectly fit the role, bringing just the right amount of charm and capability. Moreover, I liked the way the film handled her character and that it gave her some nice quips as well as strong character motivation.

In terms of the art style, I think of all the recent DC animated films this is the one that is the most obviously anime inspired, barring something like Batman Ninja for obvious reasons. I do like the animation here and think that it has its own distinctive feel which is important in making the film memorable.

My issues with the film would be two fold, firstly that the film has a rather generic story that far out stays its welcome and that gives us nothing that we haven’t seen before. Secondly Stephanie Beatriz is deeply miscast as Batwoman. I don’t quite know why but every time I heard Beatriz’s voice coming out of the character I couldn’t help but be pulled out of the film and think to myself ‘oh my she was miscast’. This is a shame as Encanto proved Beatriz is a talented voice actor.

Overall, in terms of what they did with the character and the wider style of the film it is good, however with regard to the lacklustre story and some of the weaker casting choices the film is let down.

Pros.

Gilles

The character of Catwoman

The style

Cons.

The story

Beatriz

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The Hottie And The Nottie: Perhaps The Most Toxic Film Ever Made

0.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Paris Hilton can’t act as such she never gets any acting roles, and the only ones she can get are when she just has to play herself an entitled ego maniac that thinks everyone wants to date her. That is very true here yet the film also revolves around her friend, played by Christine Larkin, who can’t get a date because she is ugly. As a whole the film is a toxic mess.

The obvious reason why this film is terrible is because it encourages people to be shallow. Yes, the ending goes in a different direction and has the shallow character grow, but that is after we have spent a whole film laughing at these character for being ugly. It teaches bad values and praises looking a certain way above all else, which is fairly twisted and fosters self-hatred.

Moreover, Hilton is a terrible romantic lead though I won’t belabour the point as I think everyone is already aware at this point that she can’t act. Her character in this film is so utterly up herself that I can’t see why any one would ever want to be with her. Perhaps being one of the most unlikeable rom-com protagonists ever.

Overall, a film constructed out of two things nepotism and putting people down based on how they look.

Pros.

It borders on so bad it is funny at times

Cons.

Its values and message

The characters are loathsome

It has a horrible pace

Paris Hilton can’t act

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Warhunt: Beware Strange Women In The Woods

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of American soldiers are sent deep into the Black Forest during WWII in order to receive a mysterious package, after they arrive they start to realise that there is something supernatural a foot,

This was dumb schlocky fun in the vein of Wolf Soldiers. For the most part the film is benefited by not taking itself too seriously, however when it does shoot for tension or even scares these also land with surprising effectiveness.

I thought the evil witches were interesting villains, the monster design was good and gave them a distinctive other worldly feeling. Moreover, I bought them as a credible threat to these experienced soldiers, which was nice as it turned the tables on standard tropes.

Furthermore, I thought the film addressed the relationship between men and women, in this case witches, during war time well. In many films we see soldiers taking advantage of women in war zones and often the women are powerless against them, here however that is flipped the witches go on the offensive and flip the paradigm as it is now the males soldiers powerless to really stop them. Maybe I red into it too much.

Overall, a fun horror war movie that fans of the genre will enjoy.

Pros.

It is fun

It nails the scares

The witches are threatening and well designed

The ending

Cons.

Pacing issues

Mickey Rourke doesn’t get much screen time

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The Book Of Boba Fett: Return Of The Mandalorian

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Mando, played by Pedro Pascal, returns in search of a new ship and a new purpose.

This is a good episode, perhaps even the best of the series so far, sadly it doesn’t even feature Boba Fett, played by Temuera Morrison, thereby side-lining him in his own show. Really this episode reminds us all of how much we have missed Mando and how poor of a replacement Boba is for him. The scene in which Mando despatches a large group of enemies in a brutal fight, woefully contrasts with the moments in prior episodes when the weaker Fett gets beat up and has to use his minions to fight on his behalf.

Though I liked seeing Mando again, and found it heart warming to see him set off on a new quest to give Grogu some beskar armour, it did all feel a bit like filler. The latter half of the episode when Mando is just looking for a new ship drags on and on and eats up runtime. Moreover, the Mando storyline is only used to kill the remaining episodes until we get to the final as clearly they have realised people don’t want any more boring flashbacks from Boba.

Overall, I enjoyed this episode more than a lot of the others, but after I finished it I was sad as this really shows the failure of the series as the best episode didn’t feature the protagonist at all.

Pros.

Mando is always great

The edge and the violence is back

It actually feels like Star Wars

The new Grogu quest

Cons.

It feels like filler

It highlights how The Book Of Boba Fett has failed

It doesn’t feature Fett

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The Ice Age Adventures Of Buck Wild: The Day Blue Sky Studios Died

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

None of the original Ice Age voice cast wanted to return, bar Simon Pegg, and Disney needed to do something with the franchise, why not send out a minimal effort picture to litter the empty halls of Disney + ?

Mark this moment dear reader, for it is not only the moment Ice Age died but also Blue Sky Studios, which is a shame as I was hoping for Rio 3. There is so much wrong with this film that it will be hard to condense down into a breezy review for you.

I think the most glaring issues is that this film looks like it was made on a budget of a few dollars, with the quality of animation not only looking worse than any of the other Ice Age films but also any other animated film you are likely to see this year.

Moreover, the film as a whole feels like it is missing something, this could easily take the form of Scrat the series mascot or as I previously mentioned the entire voice cast of the previous films. Simon Pegg as always gives it an admirable go, but even he can’t save this rather obvious cash in.

As you watch the film you can’t escape the sense that there is no good reason for it to exist.

Overall, more trash for Disney +.

Pros.

Simon Pegg is trying his best

It is watchable

Cons.

It feels like a knock off

The animation is awful

Scrat

It doesn’t need to exist

The Royal Treatment: This Is Why Your Subscriber Numbers Are Stagnating Netflix

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A prince, played by Mena Massoud, from yet another made up fictional place comes to America to meet his future bride, played by Chelsie Preston-Crayford, however, once there he meets sassy and street smart hairdresser Isabelle, played by Laura Marano, and he just can’t get enough of her entitled, obnoxious personality.

My, my how did Massoud go from Aladdin and the hights of super stardom to this? This film really isn’t worthy of him at all, and though he is the best thing in it and the only reason it has received half marks it makes me sad that this is the sort of role he is being offered.

Marano’s character fails so much as a romantic lead that she dooms the film. Now, this isn’t necessarily Marano’s fault, the writing certainly doesn’t do her any favours by giving her one of the worst personalities to come out of a Netflix film recently. She embodies American Exceptionalism and thinks that she can decide how to help the people of a foreign country better than their government, because she’s American and knows better?

Moreover, her relationship with Massoud’s prince character isn’t very healthy, she controls him and bends him to her will from the start of the film. In one of the first scenes the two share together on screen she tells him off for not sticking up for one of his servants after she gets told off by other staff for doing something wrong. Maybe he doesn’t like conflict, maybe he is worried him intervening will make things worse, no he’s bad because he isn’t constantly looking for opportunities to fight societal injustice and he needs a controlling woman to push him to do it. The more you think about it the worse it becomes.

Overall, yet another bad Netflix film.

Pros.

Massoud

A few good jokes

Cons.

Marano

The romance is troubled

The message of American Exceptionalism

The ending

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Home Team: Adam Sandler Is Even Bringing His Kids Into His Films Now, Will The Nepotism Ever End?

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Adam Sandler’s dependence star in a true story about a disgraced NFL coach, played by Kevin James, who ends up coaching his son’s peewee football team.

This sports film just rehashes cliches, honestly there isn’t much more to say; I could end the review there. To expand, the plot of this film is not just overly familiar it is almost plagiaristic. The beats and forced emotion it is going for, but crucially never achieves, have been done so much better before elsewhere.

Moreover, I get him and Sandler are pals but whoever thought James was a good leading man? Does Sandler? Is that why he gets cast in the lead role in so many of Happy Madison’s productions? To answer some of those questions for you, nepotism is the only way James can get these roles as his talent just isn’t there. Whether playing happy, sad or quizzical James comes across with all the emotional range of a shopping bag.

Overall, it is fine, technically there is nothing wrong with it, however, if you want more than deeply forgettable then you will be left cold and disappointed.

Pros.

It is watchable

Taylor Lautner returns

Cons.

James

It is boring

It is generic

The nepotism is blatant

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Body Cam: No One Wants This Footage

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A troubled police officer, played by Mary J. Blige, and her young partner, played by Nat Wolff, must do battle with the supernatural.

Honestly, I was surprised this film passed me by when it first came out at the start of the pandemic, at first glance it seemed to be right up my alley, however as the film began and then painfully continued I realised it was a blessing that I hadn’t until that point heard of this film and now I wish I never had.

The film is not dreadfully bad, frankly it might have been more fun if it was, no it is instead oppressively generic and dull. There are no thrills or surprises here as everything that happens you know is coming as this film has been done hundreds of times before and it doesn’t bother to change a thing. This also plays true for the character development with both of the leads being cliches through and through.

The supernatural element is in no way scary and again feels boringly predictable. They try and create a sense of tension but fail miserably. If you would like a good police centred horror film check out Scott Derrickson’s Deliver Us From Evil, that is a vastly better film.

If you thought this film was going to share some insight into the issues facing policing in America then you expected too much, it throws out some banal statements and trite conclusions and doesn’t achieve anything more than that.

Overall, weak, played out and too familiar.

Pros.

It is watchable

Wolff is trying, sadly his character is but a cliché

Cons.

It is boring

It is generic

It has pacing issues

It fails as a horror film

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Sing 2: Is Illumination The Worst Studio In Animation?

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of talentless animated animals gather together to listen to licensed music with you, as the writers can’t even be bothered to show up to work.

So I didn’t watch the first film, and somehow I don’t really feel like that would have made that much of a difference as there is no plot here, I doubt there was in the last film either, so I haven’t missed much.

Frankly if I were a parent I would feel insulted by this film, Illumination clearly think that they can just send out any old slop to the cinemas and that children and begrudgingly there families will just eat it up: know your worthy families of the world, you deserve more than this. This reeks of greed and cynicism.

Until the last twenty minutes of the film I don’t even remember any of the characters singing, which is baffling as that is what the whole film is supposed to be about. Instead for the most part the characters do very mundane generic quests in the purposes of killing time and the film blares out some equally bland licensed music. This is in no way interesting.

As I left this film I thought for sure this must have been some kind of tax write off, or money laundering scheme, as I can’t see why else it was made.

Overall, kids deserve better than this.

Pros.

I found it unintentionally hilarious a few times.

Cons.

The characters are awful

There is no plot

The animals barely sing

The music that we do get is generic and forgettable

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Death Of A Telemarketer: Everyone Hates Sales Calls

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Telemarketer Casey, played by Lamorne Morris, meets his match when he gets on the wrong end of Asa Ellenbogen, played by Jackie Earle Haley, a hostage situation ensues.

I thought this was watchable but not much more. Honestly, my biggest issue with this film was how played out it was. Not only was the story been there and done that, though maybe not in the telemarketing guise but I have seen this same story done time and again in other films, but so too were the moral conclusions of the film. The lessons that Casey learnt at the end of the film have been taught to us by other better films in the past, this film has no new revelations about the work life balance or how we should all treat each other.

Due to the fact that it all feels so familiar the film really hamstrings it’s chances of success in any major way.

However, it does have two silver linings in the form of its hero and villain. Both Morris and Haley are in top form here and do deliver good performances, especially when you consider the dire nature of the script. Morris manages to be loathsome enough for us to know he needs to change but not loathsome enough for us to dislike him. Morris has a lot of charm and that is on show here. Haley manages to pull off threatening and menacing well and create a strong sense of tension during the midpart of the film.

Overall, nothing that you haven’t seen before but passable if you have nothing better to watch.

Pros.

Morris

Haley

The tension

Cons.

It is too familiar

It is not funny

It’s lessons feel simplistic

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