Enola Holmes 3: The Filler/Botox Queen Returns

Summary: Because Sherlock Holmes is a silly man rather than a genius detective he goes missing and it’s down to Enola to find him.

Right from the off you have the cheapening of male characters to try and raise up the female ones. Moriarty Sherlock’s legendary foe doesn’t even care about Sherlock the whole point of capturing him was to lure out Enola. They couldn’t have given her, her own nemesis they had to take Sherlock’s, they also had to gender flip him. The question remains if you were going to gender flip the character why not just have a new character.

Then you have the fact that Milly Bobby Brown’s face is noticeably off, there has been much made of her acting in the last season Stranger Things when she could barely move her face. Here it is less severe however, they really need to cast someone else. It is a shame someone so young felt the need to do that to themselves.

There are irritating modern dayisms a-plenty they have the film set during the British “occupation of Malta” and show Maltese freedom fighters as the good guys. In historical reality Malta liked the UK and wanted to become a formal part of it like Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland and voted for it in a referendum. When this became too costly Malta set out for independence, this was not at armed struggle but rather a fairly bureaucratic process. The film goes oh colonialism bad, whilst getting most of the history wrong. Of course they say that Britain stole a bunch of antiques from Afghanistan of all places, and of course Enola and co make sure Afghanistan gets it’s antiques back and the evil British go to prison. It’s so whiny and on the nose that it makes you think the film thinks you have a mental age of 2. The love interest character is so upset by the stealing of these artefacts done by his father, not him, that he renounces his landed title and seat in the House of Lords, a not at all hysterical reaction and one you could imagine from the short of folks to lie down in roads and block the streets.

Of course Sherlock is against Enola’s marriage as it will reduce her “independence”, what year is it, is this the 1990s. Even within feminist circles views on marriage have softened, a woman can get married and still be independent the idea it removes all independent hasn’t been seriously considered in decades, it’s 2026. Sherlock is forced to apologise for his anti marriage views, and Enola of course refuses to take her husband’s last name although it would have been standard practice in that time period.

Netflix is one again forcing it’s anti-traditionist, critical race theory, alternative history down the audience through in order to appease a small group of people online.

Overall, cancel your Netflix subscription.

0.5/5

Pros.

Some unintentional humour

Cons.

Milly can’t act

The message is hamfisted and incredibly on the nose

It reduces Sherlock as a character

It doesn’t need to exist

It’s badly paced

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The Boroughs Season Overview: Old Person Stranger Things

Summary: the Duffers let someone else take over Chat GPT prompts and make something derivative of Stranger Things/

So this is Stranger Things for octogenarians, a group of misfit old people team up to fight aliens, sound familiar, it should, simply remove the world old and it’s the same thing as Stranger Things. The only difference being the monsters in Stranger Things come from another dimension not space, yet it could easily be seen as otherworldly.

Whilst Gina Davis praised this show for its Golden Girls’ esque collection of oldies for leading roles, the series doesn’t do much new with them. We’ve seen countless stories about evil old folks homes, and we’ve also had many stories with old people in main roles, sorry Gina.

The mystery aspects of the show are once again hard not to compare to Stranger Things as it looks incredibly familiar in terms of how they build tension and set things up for later. The writers of this show really thought the Duffers diseased franchise was a good one to copy from. No accounting for taste we guess.

Overall, Netflix needs to get better and learning what not to greenlite

1.5/5

Pros.

The performances are good

There aren’t pacing issues

Cons.

It feels familiar

The mystery isn’t very good

The evil care home idea is done to death

It’s dull

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Devil May Cry Season 1+2 Overview: The West Doesn’t Understand The East

Summary, a man who has no talent other than victimhood and using that as a means to attack a beloved cartoon and making a name for himself vandalizes a different property.

Out of all the video games you could make into a TV show DMC has a lot going for it, it’s pretty easy to get it right. Yet somehow they managed to get it wrong. This shouldn’t shock anyone after a good first season of Castlevania they managed to ruin that in short order.

Here is little different with modern politics entering into source material that in some cases is decades old, always in the most cringe ways. We also have a girl boss, who didn’t even arrive in the series until DMC 3. You could have had a strong female character in Trish but no. The series wants to ignore any aspects of the games it doesn’t like.

In many ways this feels like simply taking characters and putting them into something else this doesn’t feel in anyway like DMC and it feels painful trying.

It feels like the hello fellow kids memes forced into a couple seasons of a netflix show.

0.5/5

Pros.

It’s short

Cons.

It’s nothing like the games

Where’s Trish

It’s boring

Its inserting modern dayisms left right and centre

None of the characters are likeable

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Cinema Issues: Cancelling A Show After One Season

Today we are doing something a bit different and doing a bit of a PSA. So if like us you’re getting tired of seeing posts whining about various shows canceled after one season, wherein the poster didn’t understand why it has happened, the idea here is to explain to them once and for all, so they stop being tedious.

1- It is all about ratings, no not critical scores, viewing figures/ratings. It doesn’t matter if there is a right wing backlash to the show they don’t have the power to end it, it doesn’t matter if there is a loyal audience if it is small. How it has always worked is if the show doesn’t hit the ratings target it gets canned.

2- Sometimes shows get second seasons as they are bought up front or developed for two seasons. This then contractually overrules ratings issues. Look at the God Awful Halo TV series for an example of this, it was commissioned for two seasons and so it got a second season despite terrible ratings.

3- The only thing that matters is you watching it, talking about it online and buying merch, these things send the correct corporate signals. Boycotts and petitions after a decision has been made change nothing in most cases.

4- Businesses aren’t charities they don’t give a show 5 seasons to find an audience, not in the hyper competitive world of streaming you aren’t either a hit out of the gate as something like Squid Game was or you aren’t and then cancelled.

5- You aren’t entitled to a second season, when you start a show you aren’t entitled to an ending either. Check yourself.

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Office Romance: Jennifer Lopez Can’t Act Like A Professional For An Hour And A Half

Summary: a career woman realises she wants romance.

The idea of the career women suddenly realising she’s lonely and in need of romance is an old cliche that surely we are all tried of. The idea of HR being bad and needing to be rewritten is also an old idea but one that does have some precise relevance in 2026.

Jennifer Lopez can’t act, she is playing Jenifer Lopez and arguably Goldstein is playing Roy Kent/himself as well. The chemistry is dead as well.

There is a scene with a dude having an erection because it’s okay to objectify men but not women now. Moreover, there is a childbirth scene shown pretty much in full so buckle up and get ready for that.

Netflix needs to stop their association with Lopez, their films are already looked down on as terrible for the most part and slop for the other part, having her around doesn’t reduce that.

Overall, just awful.

0.5/5

Pros.

A few unintentionally funny moments

Cons.

The acting

The lack of chemistry

The child birth scene

The double standard

The clichéd storyline

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Will and Harper: You Need To Cancel Your Netflix

Summary: Some Hollywood celebrities tell their kids they are trans before they can even understand what that means for virtue points. Here a fading comedian does a similar thing, by trotting out a “long time friend”/ mentally unwell man.

So, what to say about this. Frankly this is a dangerous thing to be made, it tries to tell people how to think, it tells people they need to unlearn basic biological realities. It is very 1984 in that way, it tells people they are privileged for not being mentally ill and suffering from a condition wherein you wrongly believe you can change your sex.

It tries to take aim at laws designed to protect things like women’s single sex spaces, and women’s sports from men, who in this case consider themselves women. Most people can agree women should have private spaces and sports that aren’t taken over by men who think they are women. Yet not Will Ferrell.

Now Buddy the Elf himself is here to tell you what a grotesque bigot you are and how you should be ashamed for understanding basic biology.

Why Netflix continues to fund stuff like this even though it is loss leading for them is baffling. It is one of the wokest streaming services out there and no one with a brain would still be subscribed, unless sadly you have to review their trash.

Overall, a dangerous project that everyone involved with should be deeply ashamed of.

0/5

Pros.

None

Cons.

It makes you actively dislike Will Ferrell

It hates the audience unless you think like them

There are clear tokenist elements

It spews misinformation

It has pacing issues

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Ladies First: Netflix Continues To Double Down On The Culture War

Summary: The patriarchy is bad so let’s show what it would be like if it was a matriarchy to try and explain to men why the patriarchy is bad.

The social commentary here is about a decade out of date, no one is arguing that the patriarchy is good, most people just want equality rather than the threat of a matriarchy which would do everything the patriarchy is doing just in reverse.

Rosamund Pike needs to get a better agent after her stint on The Wheel Of Time and now this she is in danger of turning into an activist rather than an actor. Hearing her talk about feminism in marketing interviews for this film one can’t help but hear the posh accent she speaks with and think about how the only people still pushing wokeness are these out of touch elites.

It goes about how you would expect and ends with more cringe lecturers.

Overall, a waste of everyone’s time.

0/5

Pros.

None

Cons.

It’s preachy

It’s boring

It’s badly paced

It’s social commentary is dated

All the characters are deeply unlikeable

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Cinema Issues: Angel Studios Sells Out

Angel Studios knows who their audience is, when they first came about they were anti Hollywood, they stood for something, they were independent.

Now they are putting mentally ill men who think they’re women into their films, and taking potshots at capitalism, all to attract talent like Seth Rogen and one of the kids from Stranger Things.

The funny thing was the left would not touch any of their films due to the associations they keep, and now they have alienated the only audience they ever had. There is even some talk that the folks over there called the audience pigs.

The next time they want to make a film like Sound of Freedom they won’t find anyone willing to support them now.

The fact is they are adapting a book all about the evils of communism whilst then flipping that and saying well actually capitalism is worse.

This might be the biggest self inflicted mortal blow any studio has ever performed.

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Something Very Bad Is Going To Happen: The Name Says It All

A new horror series from some of the people who brought you Stranger Things.

One only needs watch the first ten minutes of this to see where it is going, and to see that it is generic. Sadly we had to sit and watch it to the end and yup it goes exactly where you would expect a modern horror series to go.

From the way the couple act you can tell they are going to be insufferable, they are stereotypical millennial or Gen Z adults, listening to true crime as they drive, overly crude and of course nursing some deep seated trauma that they spend every second stewing in.

The broader horror of the show is all about marriage and how ultimately you shouldn’t do it. It deconstructs traditional ideas about relationships and turns them into horror. As we have seen that before, the idea of subverting traditional ideas about relationships just shows how screwed up Hollywood is and how it really doesn’t even understand basic human interactions anymore.

The kindest way to describe this is Netflix slop, you will likely see about 20 other series and films just like this on the streamer if you watch it.

Overall, just bland and dull.

0.5/5

Pros.

At least it’s not more episodes

Cons.

The characters are awful

Its subversion and commentary are played out

It isn’t scary

Its incredibly generic

It is badly paced

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Stranger Things Tales From 85 Overview: A Defiled Corpse Is Given The Weekend At Bernie’s Treatment.

Netflix killed Stranger Things that is very very important to state at the top, whether it was gay Will with superpowers being the real hero, the lack of a bonus 9th episode, or the horrible documentary wherein you realise the Duffers used ChatGPT to help write episodes.

They ran it into the ground. No spin off from it could ever do well now.

However they thought going back to the hey day of the show might get around that. Let’s not talk about the fact that they couldn’t even get a single major cast member back for this.

Despite the episode lengths being shorter this felt longer than the last season that’s just how bad the pacing is. Binging it in order to get this review out relatively quickly but it was a slog.

The formula of the show is a depressing retread of the main show, nostalgia, mysteries without good answers, and Marvel-esque writing with no emotional depth.

The animation is also ugly in every possible scene.

Really the question when it comes to this is why, just why. There was no need no one wanted this.

0.5/5

Pros

The music is okay

Cons.

It is needless

The voices are jarring

The story is dull

It is badly paced

The ending

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