The Social Reckoning: Stating The Obvious

Summary: Mark Zuckerberg has lived another decade and a half of life since The Social Network came out.

You shouldn’t need a film to tell you that tech CEOs are bad. The events that happen in this film are a rehash of a news cycle from a decade ago, the fact is this film feels incredibly dated for a few reasons.

Firstly it feels like a sequel that should have come out a long time ago, rather than this late after the original. Secondly, it is covering things we already know about, when in reality things have gotten much worse since.

Finally the lead tries his best but he doesn’t have a patch of Jessie Eisenberg not a patch.

Overall, needless

2/5.

Pros.

The writing is good for the most part

The pacing works

Cons.

It is dated

It doesn’t hold up when compared to the first film

It states the obvious

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East of Eden: Series Overview Making A Monster Likeable

Summary: Steinbeck gets the modern audience treatment

So in the book Florence Pugh’s character was a monster no other way around it, however here as she said in an interview she is more of an anti hero and Pugh wants audiences to love her. That was the first red flag.

Netflix are once again content to show they cannot make anything of quality anymore and must instead ruin older books and IPs in order to try and stay relevant.

The morality of the show itself is warped in a very modern Hollywood kind of way. It is full of victims and oppressors as that is the only way Hollywood can see the world anymore, the true evil character cannot be Pugh’s character as she is a woman.

Overall, cancel your Netflix subscription

0/5

Pros.

None

Cons.

It’s poorly paced

The characters are unlikable

The modern dayisms

Pugh

The ending

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Pressure: Powering Through The Death Of Your Wife and Kid

Summary: the battle to provide a forecast that could save thousands of lives.

This film was good but the pacing was quite slow, if the pacing had been tighter and moved quicker they could have created a sense of tension and pressure with the editing, they didn’t do that and so the film had lulls.

The characters outside of the protagonist were quite one note, if this was how they were in real life then there is little to be done, but if not the film needed to do more to develop them and have them be something more than they are.

The film is interesting and shows a different side to D-Day to what many people will be familiar with but it is a bit too slow and a bit too thin on the characters to be truly good.

Overall, interesting but not great.

2.5/5

Pros.

It shows a new side to D-Day

They manage to have parts of the film be tense

The ending

Cons.

It’s slow

The characters are thin

It takes a minute to get going

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Tony: One of the Most Unlikable People Possibly Ever

Summary: Anthony Bourdain estate never should have signed off on this.

So Anthony lies to almost everyone he knows constantly, he up and abandons his family to worry for a whole summer, he lies repeatedly to sleep with a girl and he causes a fire that destroys his mentors business and in the end he considers, but doesn’t, robbing said mentor. If this was true to life then there is not much you can do about it, however if this is an artistic flourish then the estate should have never let this film be made.

That is the fundamental issue with this film, why would you care about anything that happens when the character is so darn unlikable, you don’t. That is the crux of an issue the film simply cannot recover from.

Overall, a film that falls apart as you hate the lead character.

2/5

Banderas

There is some fun to be had

Cons.

Anthony is just awful

You don’t go along for the journey as the character is so unlikeable

The ending feels too convenient

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The Death Of Robin Hood: The Slowest Film Of The Year

Summary: Robin Hood is sad then he dies.

We all seen this before, we all watched Logan but rather than having great action this film is more into feelings, pacifism and being sad.

The first half of the film starts off interesting with Robin Hood still being this brutal outlaw, but then he gets beaten up and almost dies and from there it’s all about being sorry for your past and trying to make amends.

In many ways the trailers were quite deceptive promising something more akin to the Norseman when this is very much not that.

Overall, an average film made worse by dreadful pacing.

2/5

Pros

Great look and setting

Some good action early on

Cons.

The pacing

The ending

The lack of any action after the halfway point

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I Love Boosters: Glamorising Theft

Summary: one Hollywood luvies take on capitalism.

Let’s get one thing clear stealing from shops doesn’t make you a modern day Robin Hood, it makes you a criminal. When you take things from shop it costs jobs and possibly even branches. You may not care as corporations are evil, but those workers still have to go home and tell their kids why they won’t eat tonight.

Boots Riley screams capitalism is evil whilst making a film, a hugely capitalist endeavour, the irony appears lost. Riley thinks encouraging audiences to steal from shops and some form of socialist fightback is a great message when it’s really not well thought through.

Of course race has to play into it as God forbid a black director make a film that is not about being black, the black experience, racism, systemic oppression, slavery or something along those lines.

The villain is a white woman who the film labels a fake feminist, she is rich and so not a comrade, also this film is a male director presenting women tearing down other women, as a purity test. There is something deeply messed up about a male director saying who is a proper feminist and who isn’t and then making it about money.

Once again we are shown at the box office that preaching doesn’t pay off, if Riley wants to go and steal from his local store that’s on him, but to waste millions of dollars trying to promote criminality is just a waste of everyone’s time and money.

Overall, morally bankrupt.

1/5

Pros.

Keke Palmer is great

Cons.

The characters are unlikable

The message is awful

It promotes criminality

It is a male director tearing down women

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One Night Only: Remember When Men Weren’t A Joke?

Summary: for one night a year sex is legal, two people try to make it work.

Owen is told at the offset of the film that his girlfriend wants to sleep with someone else, then he goes to stay at his mother’s who wants him out so she can get down. After that he is robbed by a woman who takes his clothes, when he finally meets Allie and they are about to have sex this is then denied them. Allie’s journey is far more about her coming out of her shell, daring to sing in public, ultimately to grow as a person. Notice the difference one is about empowerment the other is about humiliation.

You might have heard that a lot of the nudity and sex scenes where cut out of this film, we did a Cinema Issues about it, because audiences don’t want to see nudity unless it’s Sydney Sweeney in Gluck’s last film. For the most part this is not a steamy affair, it is oddly clinical and depressing and maybe that is a comment on modern dating but this film is supposed to be a rom-com, yet there is nothing romantic or funny about it.

Monica Barbaro does her best to keep the film together but this is really DOA on arrival.

Overall, more modern slop to avoid.

1/5

Pros

Barbaro

Cons

It is dull

It doesn’t have anything fresh to say

The male humiliation

The ending is cheap

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Cinema Issues: The Cowardice Of The Odyssey

As many of you may know the new Christopher Nolan film is mere days away from release, yet unlike other Nolan offerings this one is wrapped up in controversy. Whether that is the vandalisation of greek mythology, casting a woman to play a man’s role (Ellen Page), the race swap of Helen of Troy, or possibly having Lupita N’yongo Karensplain female perspective to Homer thousands of years later. The latter is particularly egregious when you think the Odyssey has some of the most developed female characters in the ancient literature, but surely you don’t expect N’yongo to bother reading it.

The beginnings of the cowardice began when they announced a worldwide press tour for the film, but that it wouldn’t stop in Greece. This is important as the Greek Government has publicly criticised the film for not featuring Greek actors. Moreover, knowing what they have on their hands Universal has taken to turning off comments on any new marketing material they release in order to make sure they only platform positive comments and docile bot accounts. The ratio of the trailers shows a very different story.

The fact remains this may have been one of Christopher Nolan’s greatest mistakes as a director and this may well cost him professionally if it doesn’t land well over the 600 million needed break even point

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Cinema Issues: The Demonisation Of The Nuclear Family

When leaving Olivia Wilde’s latest film the Invite a thought occurred, why is it we have so many films showing the death of love or of families but so few these days showing love and happiness.

Could it be the idea that a lot of people in Hollywood are unhappy in their relationships and so reflect that on the big screen perhaps. However, there is also an underlying cynicism that suggests that there is something problematic about straight couples getting together in 2026 and that the nuclear family is a tool for oppression. Hence you see far less of it, to show a woman happy within a nuclear family unit is to suggest that it isn’t the toxic, freedom stealing experience characters such as Sherlock Holmes in Enola Holmes 3 say it is.

You also have the open promotion of alternative lifestyles where people are shown as happier because they aren’t married. This can be seen in the Invite with the promotion of swinging culture, many modern films have suggested having multiple partners or having meaningless hook ups with no commitments is the only way to be happy, looking at you Splitizville. This reflects the cynicism we have been talking about rather than believing in love and commitment and loyalty, these are all seen as tools of oppression, the only way Hollywood thinks they can be free is to pursue their own meaningless self pleasure from meaningless sex where they can throw the person away at the end.

Look at Charlize Theron who in a Call Her Daddy episode said that she is glad she isn’t married as she could have sex with a man half her age. This is just as problematic as Leonardo DiCaprio throwing away girls when they get too old for him in their early twenties.

The cynicism we have talked about is a reflection of the deeply jaded, perverse nature of Hollywood’s ideas on sex but also the rejection of the love story, in its most traditional form as they view it as oppressive

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The Invite: A Lonely Woman’s Take On Marriage

Summary: an unhappily married couple are swayed into the swinging lifestyle

So of course Olivia Wilde a woman who ran out of a relationship to get with a much younger man, is going to tell you being in a long term monogamous relationship makes you unhappy.

Of course she is going to fetishize swinging and act like the swinging couple has a great relationship, when in fact it is an unethical therapist, Cruz, taking advantage of a man who lost his wife, Norton.

The film ends with the monogamous couple looking at slipping up, because of course they would be happier single.

The central characters are incredibly irritating and unlikeable and a collection of some of the worst modern cliches and neurosis.

The cringe comedy does manage to get a laugh from you before the loveless husk of a marriage manages becomes too much to bare and sucks all the joy from the room.

Overall, a depressing experience.

1.5/5

Pros

A few funny jokes

Okay pacing

Cons.

Deeply unlikeable characters

Yet more monogamy bad nonsense

Hollywood’s sheer lack of morals

It’s depressing

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