Watcher: The Moral Of The Story Is Don’t Wave To People Who Watch You Randomly

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A young woman, played by Maika Monroe, and her partner, played by Karl Glusman, move to Romania after the latter gets a job offer. However, during their time their women start getting killed and the lead finds herself facing more and more danger.

Other than her partner not being evil, despite being a dick, this film has little surprises in store. For the most part everything happens as you would expect it to in a thriller film and the mystery of what is going on is not much of one as it is incredibly obvious. The film does try and throw a few jump scares at you especially towards the end but they don’t land as they are blatantly signposted.

However, despite being obvious I do think this film has merit. It is incredibly tense and gripping and you can’t look away throughout it, It is always nice when a film can keep my attention. Moreover, Monroe continues to highlight what an unsung talent she is here landing another great and strongly compelling lead performance. I think the pros for this film just about outweigh the cons.

Overall, a fine thriller film made better by solid tension and a great lead performance from Monroe.

Pros.

The tension and suspense throughout

Monroe gives a really strong performance and conveys the stress and fear the character would be feeling in that situation in a very realistic way

The ending feels therapeutic

Cons.

It feels very familiar at times

Most the twists and reveals feel blatant and obvious.

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The Smurfs: Why Sony Pictures Animation Will Never Be Respected

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Sony decided to waste some money and bring back the Smurfs.

Where to start with this film. I will admit I went in with low expectations knowing full well that the film would most likely be bad, a Netflix driven act of viewing self-harm, and yet this film was more boring than bad. Truly there isn’t enough here to make it so bad it is good, or even to make it laughably bad. It is just lazy and uninspired.

My biggest question would be if Sony was going to waste the money trying to bring the Smurfs back why not do it well? The animation is some of the worst I have ever seen, worse than a Disney channel original movie, furthermore, I don’t think the poor quality can be blamed on the year this film came out as it was not that long ago: in all honesty I think Sony just went cheap with it.

Next on the agenda, why is Gargamel, played by Hank Azaria, such an incredibly anti-semitic character? Almost everything about the portrayal reeks of old fashioned and frankly dangerous Jewish stereotypes, are we not past that? Honestly how that character in that shape ever made it into the film is baffling.

Finally, Katy Perry isn’t a good voice actor. I didn’t really think that needed saying but hey musicians aren’t always great at everything, even if you cynically throw them into a film during the hight of their popularity to try and boost audience numbers.

Overall, how was this film successful?

Pros.

Neil Patrick Harris is always great

It is watchable if you are prepared to look past the more outdated elements

Cons.

The antisemitism

Perry

The animation is awful

It is incredibly generic

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Father Of The Bride: Really This Again

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A Latinx remake of Father Of The Bride. It is exactly what you would expect it to be for the most part.

A few things I will praise this film for, firstly Andy Garcia is terrific he perfectly captures the neurotic personality that Martin had in his take on the character, but also adds his own distinct flair to it. Moreover, I like that in a few small areas this film doesn’t follow the tried and tested story and does its own thing, sadly these sections were few and far between and the film as a whole could have benefited a lot more from trying to break away from and subvert our expectations rather than just giving us the same old same old.

I think in a lot of ways therein lies the main problem with this film, it is boring. It is the same story with the same characters that you have seen before. I understand that Hollywood is creatively bankrupt but do they think that can just keep remaking the same old collection of films over and over again and people will be happy and accept that? I think they need to do better.

Overall, Garcia is trying and the film is very watchable but ultimately this film lacks any kind of new ideas and just trots out the same worn plot beats and character journeys.

Pros.

Garcia

It is very watchable

Isabela Merced

Cons.

It is deeply generic

It relies heavily on cliches for its character types

It is tired and worn out in the extreme

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Only Murders In The Building: Persons Of Interest

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

After being hauled in for murder the trio try and prove their innocence and begin to find themselves staring down another mystery.

I find this show to be good comfort viewing, you aren’t really watching it to see something you have never seen before or to be challenged you are just watching it to be casually entertained. In that view I enjoyed this first episode well enough it was very easy to watch and the central trio all had great chemistry, as they did last season.

My question for this season which the first episode made very more crystal clear, is why did it need a second season, where is there to go from here? Honestly, I feel like the mystery this time around feels a little forced, but who knows maybe they will go somewhere interesting with it and justify why the show needed to come back for a second season.

I liked that the Charles, played by Steve Martin, storyline had him return to his former role as Brazzo’s, and in doing so pointed out and made fun of the idea of legacy sequels wherein the previous main character is only kept around for nostalgias sake and the show or film usually tries to reinvent itself to mixed results.

I won’t spend long talking about the Amy Schumer cameo as a lot of you will know my thoughts on Schumer, though I will say here scene sucked all of the life out of the sequence and certainly was a low point of the episode. The fact some of the characters are in awe of seeing Amy Schumer in a lift is laughably up her arse, also if it was true to life she would be angry for being recognised.

Overall, an enjoyable first episode but not one that justifies why this show needed to come back for season two.

Pros.

It is watchable

The leads all still have great chemistry

I like the meta commentary on legacy sequels

Cons.

Schumer

It doesn’t justify its existence

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Abandoned: Straight Up Slop, Hard And Lacking Nourishment

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Yet another horror thriller film about post-partum depression.

How many times are we going to be served the same slop? Is there supernatural goings on or does the lead character have post-partum depression, and or is the baby possessed or does the lead have post-partum. We have seen it so many times before and frankly I am becoming agitated with the generic storylines that keep making it into horror cinema, the Babadook did the idea well and all the films that have come after it have been bargain basement knockoffs at best.

What’s more I am beginning to question whether Emma Roberts can act or whether she simply gets roles because of who her aunt is. We have all seen and enjoyed Wild Child, Adult World and American Horror Story but outside of those productions Roberts seems to be phoning it in, unable to communicate any kind of emotion at all in any of her performances.

The mystery here isn’t a mystery if you have ever watched a horror film or a thriller before, it is just mind-numbingly obvious.

Overall, Roberts is slumming it for an easy pay check.

Pros.

It is watchable, it is not offensively bad.

Cons.

Roberts is awful

The mystery is entirely predictable

You have seen this film before

It is not scary or thrilling

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Star Trek Strange New Worlds: The Elysian Kingdom

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The crew of the Enterprise find themselves turned into characters from a children’s book after a cosmic entity befriends the Chief Medical Officer’s dying daughter.

What the hell happened here? There is so much wrong with this episode I hesitate to know where to begin. Firstly, fantasy episodes of Star Trek or episodes where they embrace more whacky and out there premises rarely work in my opinion. I didn’t mind the body swap episode earlier in the season, but this for me was just too silly. However, the once thing I will give this episode’s premise is that it drastically changed the personality of almost all the Enterprise’s crew and gave us wildly different versions of the characters then those we have come to expect, I thought Pike, played by Anson Mount, and La’an, played by Christina Chong, were stand outs in this regard. For the most part I found these alt versions of the characters to be somewhat entertaining.

Moreover, the ending of the episode feels like an almost insulting pay off to the M’Benga storyline. Not only does his daughter get a miracle Deus ex machina cure, she also leaves with the cosmic entity seemingly for the rest of her life yet M’Benga just carries on as normal. Yes, an argument can be made that her leaving was for the greater good and he knew that, and that as her father he would just want to see her safe and well, but I don’t buy for a minute that he wouldn’t even be a little bit upset that he is unlikely to see her again.

Overall, this episode felt out of place and like a clear example of filler.

Pros.

The alt versions of the characters being over the top gave some amusement

It is watchable

Cons.

The ending

It is too silly

The fantasy elements really don’t work

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The Man From Toronto: Don’t Mistake This Film For A Better One

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A chap, played by Kevin Hart, out for a nice romantic getaway with his significant other, played by Jasmine Matthews, becomes wrapped up in a world of hitmen when he falls prey to a case of mistaken identity.

This movie is a turd, but make no mistake it is not Kevin Hart’s fault. If it were not for Hart this film would get a lot lower, and I mean a lot. Hart does provide the film with a number of laughs and makes getting through it slightly less excruciating and for that I thank him.

That aside, this is why Netflix is in hot water, yet another stupid pointless action film that does nothing new and thinks that by just throwing famous faces into whacky situations it makes a film good; it takes far more than that. The whole premise of this film is incredibly familiar, but it is not even as though Netflix is ripping off other better action films, no, it feels like Netflix are ripping off their own back catalogue. Moreover, the idea of the soft guy teaming up with the tough guy, here played by a very much phoning it in Woody Harrelson, is more than a little stale at this point. Really this film is peak generic, that is probably the best and most succinct way to describe it .

Overall, yet more terrible Netflix fare slightly elevated by Kevin Hart

Pros.

Hart

It is watchable

Cons.

It is generic

It has been done better before

It is Netflix plagiarising themselves

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Ms Marvel: Destined

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Kamala, played by Iman Vellani, learns the origin of her powers, and is forced to make some difficult decisions.

I would say this was the worst episode of Ms Marvel yet, which shows how good the rest of the show is as this still isn’t a bad episode just far weaker than the previous two episodes. The reason for my thinking is twofold, firstly I don’t like the new Djinn origin for her powers and would have much preferred they stuck with her being an Inhuman. We knew for a while the show was taking the character in this direction but I was hoping that they would stick the landing with his new origin for her powers and they really don’t. Secondly, the villains of this show are, so far, incredibly poor and written as cliches in almost every possible way. The DODC agent, played by Alysia Reiner feels like a karen and has all the hallmarks of that character type, I hope the series does something more with her as right now she feels downright cartoonish. Moreover, the Clandestine group really highlights the poor writing, as they go from friendly to villainous in the space of about 5 minutes because Kamala won’t help them immediately, this seems like incredibly dumb villain writing as it would make more sense for them to let her have her time to try and gain her trust before using her.

However, despite these issues the episode is not bad and has more than a few redeemable moments. The entirety of the wedding scene is terrific, all of the characters we have come to know over the past two episodes get to have sweet little moments, and the dance sequence towards the end is one of the most pure and joyous things I have seen out of the MCU in a long while. I also like that Nakia, played by Yasmin Fletcher, now knows about Kamala’s powers as I feel like it will lead to some interesting interactions in the coming episodes between the two of them.

Overall, the villains need improvement otherwise a lot of people are going to say that this is yet another example of Marvel’s villain problem whereby they are all paper thin and forgettable.

Pros.

The wedding scene

Nakia finding out about Kamala’s powers

The ending

Cons.

The villains

The new powers origins

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Mothering Sunday: Prepare To Be Depressed

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Set in a post WWI Britain this film tells the tale of Jane, played by Odessa Young, a maid who falls in love with a wealthy man, played by Josh O’ Connor.

This film was fairly bleak across the board. With the amount of death and heartbreak in it one questions whether this is even a romance film, or whether it is simply a drama about the impacts of post war trauma and gilded cages. I was so depressed by the end of this film that I had to watch something happy and upbeat almost straight away, be warned.

Moreover, the film has a needless amount of nudity throughout. This goes in both directions and feels as though it has just been stuffed in to give a shock to the older market that would usually come out for this sort of fare. Rather than feeling daring, or perhaps subversive, this instead feels incredibly try hardy.

For positives I would say that this film is certainly watchable, Colin Firth and Olivia Colman both give strong performances even if they are only featured infrequently. However, The leads seem far too detached for most of the film, which makes it hard to care about either of them, or even the film itself at times.

Overall, I am curious who this was made for?

Pros.

It is watchable and Firth and Colman give good performances

Cons.

The excessive amount of nudity

It is depressing

It is hard to care about any of the characters

It is terribly paced

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Good Luck To You, Leo Grande: A Sexual Prime Is Never Over

4.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

After the death of her husband a woman, played by Emma Thompson, grapples with rediscovering her sexuality.

I think this film is a marvel. Not least for what it does in terms of pushing age boundaries in Hollywood and reconstructing the idea of a nude scene, but also because it is so earnest and tender.

For the most part the film is a series of conversations in a room between Thompson and a male prostitute, played by Daryl McCormack, who she hires. This could easily have become very boring and drawn out however, the film does a great job of exploring these characters and allowing us to see further and further past their carefully crafted masks as the film progress.

Furthermore, I thought the conversations between the two often became very heartfelt and insightful, not only reflecting the struggles of life but also the very notion of British repression. I thought the two actors had great chemistry together and the screen really came alive when they were interacting.

Overall, I thought it was a wonderfully thoughtful film.

Pros.

Thompson

McCormack

The writing and the insight

The feel good nature of the film

It made me smile frequently

Cons.

It certainly won’t be for everyone

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