Love Lies Bleeding: Thelma And Louise Did It Better

Summary

Kind of like Thelma And Louise.

So this film was not going to be for everyone, that was kind of the point. However, I like crime films so I thought I would give it a try, even if the trailers left me cold. This was a mistake.

So the film wasn’t terrible and does have good stakes and a mostly compelling story, but I think that in many senses this film tries too hard to be different and in doing that isn’t really what anyone wants it to be. Mainly this is evidenced as the film has shifts in tone, one minute they’ll be something very intense going on and then a few minutes later it’ll be something more trippy and light hearted, or as light-hearted as you can get in a crime film. My point is that the film does not have one consistent tone throughout, which as everyone knows is a detriment to any film.

Another thing that will be off putting to potential viewers is that this film is smug and seems to think that it is deeper and more ground breaking than it actually is. In my opinion the reason the film suffers from this is because we mythologise directors particularly when they come from the indie circuit, look at the hype an Eggers or Aster could get for a project, as such and after the massive amount of praise and in a sense fandom Rose Glass got after Saint Maud there was no way she was not going into this with a high ego. Hence, she has bought her own hype thinking this film is some important trend-setting thing when as I said above Thelma and Louise kind of already did a lot of this stuff a long time ago.

Finally I didn’t buy the chemistry between the leads. I thought both did a fine job as there characters, however, I didn’t believe they were a couple or had feelings for each other or really anything like that. What makes this so much worse is the fact that it is a big part of the films narrative and it is important to the film working as a whole.

Overall, a film that suffers from a lack of charm, tonal consistency and an overinflated sense of self. Though to some this may become a cult classic.

Pros.

It has an interesting premise

The style of the film works well

Cons.

The central romantic pairing doesn’t feel believable

It has a smugness to it

The tone is a mess

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The Boston Strangler: Boston Has Never Looked So Washed Out And Grey

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The story of the Boston Strangler is rebirthed yet again to fit within the modern fad of true crime.

This film is serviceable, that is probably as much of a pro as I am going to give it. There isn’t anything inherently wrong with it, but if you view this alongside films like From Hell or Fincher’s Zodiac then you will see where it falls down.

Keira Knightley does all she can to save this film and her American accent is a thing to behold all its own, but it simply isn’t enough. The film takes what could be quite an interesting true crime story and drags it out and pads it until it is boring and you have long since stopped caring.

The film tries to address the sexism of the period, which we would all just assume is rampant anyway, but again doesn’t go anywhere with it beyond the standard, it was bad back then narrative. Although you can understand why the film does it, the more time it takes out to show us the homelife of Knightley’s character the more you tune out as people are hear for the grizzly crimes and the murder investigation not to learn more about Knightley’s characters strained relationship with her mother.

Overall, a crime thriller without any real bite. Bland at best.

2.5/5

Pros.

Knightley is trying her best

It has some good chills

When it is showing the actual investigation it is interesting

Cons.

Too much filler and padding

Brutal pacing issues

A wasted supporting cast

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The Godfather: Truly A Titan Of The Form

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Vito Corleone, played by Marlon Brando, is the Godfather of a crime family and everything seems to be going well that is until a gang war erupts and things take a turn for the worse.

This film really does last the test of time. Many times in my life I have had people tell me that I have to watch The Godfather and that it is an important film that someone like me, who is really into film, simply must watch, however, for one reason or another I have never gotten around to it. That was the case until recently when I finally decided to sit down and watch it, and boy was it worth it.

I think simply put this is one of the best crime films ever made, and I have seen a lot of gangster films over the years, I would say that this film is very much on the same level as the in-genre works of Scorsese. Everything about it works from the story which feels both incredibly relatable and also completely foreign, to the performances which are just top notch across the board. Even the pacing, which is usually something that bothers me a lot about films and TV shows works, not a second of this film is wasted.

It is hard to decide who has a better showing here between Brando and Al Pacino, both are terrific and have fantastic moments but I think upon reflection the beauty of their performances is really enhanced by bouncing off each other.

Overall, probably the best Gangster film ever made.

5/5

Pros.

The acting

The drama

The family dynamics

The action and the tension

The scope

Cons.

None

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Emily The Criminal: April From Parks And Rec Breaks Bad

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Emily, played by Aubrey Plaza, turns to crime after not getting anywhere in life.

I was very excited for this film before I had seen it, and after watching it I am decidedly more mixed on it. The one thing I can tell you up front is that without Plaza in it the film would have been a lot worse.

I think this film clearly highlights Plaza’s skills as a performer, but more specifically her dark side and dramatic sensibilities. Mainly before this role I have seen Plaza in a lot of dark and or quirky comedies and I think outside of the God awful remake of Child’s Play this was the first time I had seen her tackle something more or less straight with no jokes and I think she nailed it.

My main issue with the film as a whole was that it was a fairly generic breaking bad premise. Person turns to a life of crime, person makes money and doesn’t want to stop, and then they encounter negative consequences and either die or get arrested. For the most part this film was fairly generic only lifted above average by Plaza, however, I did appreciate that the ending didn’t skew the way I was expecting it to with Plaza’s character escaping and for the most part winning.

Overall, the film is been there and done that, but it does have a good ending and it also highlights Plaza’s skills as a performer.

Pros.

The ending

Plaza

It is very watchable

Cons.

It is generic

A lot of the plot is very predictable

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Confess Fletch: Who Doesn’t Need A Whole Bunch Of Fake Identities

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Retired investigative journalist Fletch, played by Jon Hamm, explores an art world mystery.

I will open this review by saying that I have no fondness for the Chevy Chase Fletch films. They were before my time and upon watching them in a more modern context the humour just didn’t land for me at all. However, I am pleased to say I enjoyed this film much more than the older Chase films.

I thought all of the performances across the board were great most noticeably Lorenza Izzo and Jon Hamm, but all of the characters were very easy to warm to. I thought this film had a lot of old school charm and reminded me of comedy crime films of yore, the sort that someone like Steve Martin would have made. However, unlike those movies a lot of the more toxic and problematic elements of those films were cut out here, much to the betterment of the film.

Moreover, the central mystery is pretty solid I did not guess it which is a sure sign of quality. In addition the humour of the film was more hit than miss for me and quite often made me laugh, I think Hamm in particular has great comedic timing.

Overall, a fun and enjoyable film that won’t set the world on fire.

Pros.

Hamm

Izzo

The humour

The mystery

Cons.

A few pacing issues

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Bodies Bodies Bodies: Hello Fellow Kids

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of friends gather together to wait out a storm and play some party games, once there things take a turn for the worst and one by one people start getting murdered.

Spoilers Ahead

I thought this film was pretty entertaining, but it was not without its issues. Most obviously, you could tell that this film was written by someone who isn’t Gen Z as though they use some correct vernacular it never really feels authentic and genuine. Moreover, with the expectation of Amandla Stenberg the cast are not members of Gen Z either, these might only be little nit picks I know but as the film has been labelled a Gen Z murder mystery it deserves to be pointed out.

The mystery was well used for the most part, however, it is ruined by the end of the film. Where it turns out that there never was any murderer just a series of accidents and misunderstandings leading to all these deaths then it just feels like a cop out. Honestly I didn’t find the ending funny I found it to be infuriating.

For me the performances were a mixed bag, I thought Maria Bakalova, Lee Pace and Rachel Sennott all gave strong performances whereas Myha’la Herrold’s Jordan felt cliched, Stenberg’s Sophie underdeveloped and Pete Davidson’s David to be totally unlikeable.

Overall, whilst it has some enjoyable moments for the most part this is a decidedly average film.

Pros.

A few funny moments

It is a good mystery until the ending ruins it

Bakalova really shines

Cons.

A lot of the supporting cast are wasted

It feels clearly like someone older trying to write for Gen Z

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Only Murders In The Building: I Know Who Did It

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The trio reveal who the killer is.

I worried last week that the show would swerve away from having Cinda, played by Tina Fey, be the main villain of the series, and then this episode proved that worry to be founded by having it be her assistant instead. I think this reveal was way less satisfying and felt quite anti-climactic.

Moreover, another thing I didn’t like about this episode, which has also been at the borders of this whole second season more broadly is a sense of smugness. I know the show has been nominated for a number of awards and has quite a devoted fanbase, but the series seems to be a little too into itself now, giving far too many knowing looks to the audience.

I will give the episode some praise for bringing back Cara Delevingne’s character, even if she is still being incredibly under used, I think Delevingne’s new arrival is probably the best thing about what is otherwise a very mixed season.

Overall, a decent end, but one that highlights the shows key issues, it’s long in the tooth continuation onwards, and its smugness.

Pros.

Bringing back Delevingne

It was watchable

A few funny moments

Cons.

The smugness

It ignored the best possible villain

It like the rest of the season was badly paced

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Only Murders In The Building Sparring Partners

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

An old enemy rears their head as the gang home in on a murderer.

So I think this episode was again a mixed bag, for the most part it is filler and padding, however the final twist reveal more than makes up for it. By pointing the finger at Cinda, played by Tina Fey, the show really capitalises on the dislike the audience has for her and creates a satisfying ‘it all makes sense now’ sort of moment. I will say however, that if the show doesn’t go with Fey’s character being the villain of this season then it will feel like a huge missed opportunity.

Again the Oliver, played by Martin Short, parenting subplot continues to not even remotely interest me, as we all know the secret will come out it is just inevitable. I think some of the side stories this season has done has expanded and deepened the character of a lot of our favourite Arconia residents however, in other cases such as this it has just ended up feeling like filler.

I liked that Cara Delevingne’s character returned and that it looks like she won’t be the villain, hopefully in the next episode we can have her origins explored a bit more so that her character can start to feel less two dimensional.

Overall, a fairly standard episode made a lot better by a great and satisfying twist ending.

Pros.

The ending

Delevingne’s return

The sparing sequence

Cons.

The Oliver parentage side story

The pace is really quite off

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Only Murders In The Building: Hello Darkness

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The trio must race back to the Arconia in order to save Lucy, played by Zoe Colletti, who faces down a killer in a blackout.

I was right the prospect of a blackout did lead to interesting things. I think the idea of Lucy genuinely being in danger of dying and the sort of ticking clock narrative of all that really helped to bring me back on board for this episode and to care again. I thought this episode often nailed the tension it was going for and had genuinely worried for the characters.

I also really enjoyed the Nina, played by Christine Ko, side story in which she chats to the buildings doorman, played by Teddy Coluca, during the blackout. I thought it was nice to see a more human side to Nina as parts of this season have set her up as some what of a cold character or even a possible future antagonist. I thought the scene the two shared was sweet and it brought a smile to my face.

However, nothing can ever be without flaw. I didn’t like the Oliver, played by Martin Short, subplot wherein he questions his son’s parentage. It felt almost soap opera esque and entirely needless, I would have rather the series be shorter and we don’t have to get overly indulgent filler like that.

Overall, certainly a lot better than the last few episodes but not without its issues.

Pros.

The tension

How the episode uses the blackout

The scenes with Nina

It makes you care about the characters

Cons.

The Oliver subplot

It feels like the ending of the season should be closer than it is

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Jawbreaker: A Bargain Basement Heathers Knock Off

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A clique of bratty teenage girls accidentally kill one of their member, played by Charlotte Ayanna, and must try and cover it up.

I understand that this film was ‘inspired by’ Heathers but did it have to be so blatant in copying it, could they not have at least tried to come up with some new ideas and concepts? Maybe it is because I have not viewing this from a contemporary lens and am instead looking at it years later, but to me this film just seems played out and done better before.

None of the central trio are particularly easy to warm to or engaging, I found myself spending most of my time getting annoyed every time they opened their mouths. Truly nothing is worse than the teen mean girl trope, it is so lazy.

A mild pro I will give this film is that it was occasionally unintentionally funny, and that managed to at least to a very small extent lighten up the unpleasant and frankly tedious viewing experience.

Overall, I see that this film has developed a cult following, however to those people I say why choose a knock off version of Heathers.

Pros.

It is unintentionally funny

It is watchable

Cons.

The lead trio are incredibly unlikeable

It feels like a weaker Heathers

It is tedious for a lot of the runtime

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