The Mandalorian And Grogu: Star Wars’ Big Comeback?

Summary: Din and Grogu head to the big screen.

So this won’t move the needle for a lot of people. If you like the Mandalorian you’ll like it and if you didn’t you won’t. This isn’t the film to save Star Wars if such a thing can even happen. This is life support. It doesn’t change that Pedro is poisonous to the brand and needs to go or that the film opened to record low numbers.

The one thing to note is that is markedly better than season 3 of the show, and Din is not sidelined here as he was in that. The action is stronger and the father son relationship between Din and Grogu feels weighty and meaningful. Particularly the sequence of Grogu looking after Din towards the third act of the film, you might get a bit misty there. Seeing Zeb back from Rebels was good though one wishes they did more with him particularly during the Hutt storyline. It is interesting to see what will happen to the crime world side of Star Wars after these Hutts have been taken out.

An additional thing to enjoy about this film is the amount of puppetry in it and how well it’s done as opposed to horrible CGI.

The issues with the film are threefold. Firstly the music is off, yes you have Mando’s theme but you also have all this weird techno trance music which feels more befitting something like Blade Runner than Star Wars, this is jarring. The secondly you have the structure, it feels like two episodes mashed together you have the remnant story and then the Hutt twins story, and whilst there are plot threads to connect the two it isn’t enough. When the remnant storyline ends you go okay is that the end of the film, but there is still over an hour left. Finally you get to the Sigourney Weaver of it all, seeing her as a New Republic military leader is one thing, but seeing her be this old woman fighter pilot at the end is laughable in a bad way. Do you mean to say that they didn’t have anyone else who was more in their prime to carry it out on the whole base. That said Weaver was

Overall, serviceable and much better if you are a fan of the show and wider universe than not.

3.5/5

Pros.

The action

Mando and Grogu

Where it leaves the universe after the end of the film

The puppetry

Cons.

The pacing

The music

Weaver as a fighter pilot

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Obsessions: A Surprisingly Funny Film

Summary a man uses a make a wish device to get the girl of his dreams, things then go badly.

So when the trailers for this film came out it looked like yet more boring modern socially conscious horror cinema. The message of the film seemed played out, and after watching it is still. However, what changes is that the film is fun enough to make up for it.

I would say this is a star making turn for Inde Navarrette. Not so much in the early film when she plays the out of reach Nicki but definitely so when she becomes the overbearing and nightmarish version of her. The horror and the suddenness if it at times has the power to be shocking and funny in equal measures and Navarrette is at the heart of that.

Overall, a surprisingly good film is a little familiar at times.

3.5/5

Pros

Navarrette

The horror

The ending

The humour

Cons.

The social commentary is tried

Pacing issues

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Normal: Nobody 3 In Disguise

Summary: a police sheriff moves to a small town for a temporary gig only to find it is run by the Yakuza.

So, this was a lot of fun, the action was great and it was surprisingly funny across the film. The action wasn’t as intense as Nobody 1+2 but it was still pretty gory and full on.

There is some woke stuff in the film, but it’s only a small amount and you can ignore it if you want to. There is a woman who claims to be non-binary, and the sheriff’s main allies in the town are a young interracial couple, whilst most of the white folks, and a few non white folks try and kill him. The fact that the final team consists of the sheriff, a black man and a woman claiming to be non binary, is a choice. So if that sort of thing bothers you then maybe this isn’t for you.

By and large the woke stuff isn’t stuffed down your throat or heavy handed and for the most part you can just ignore it and get on with the action.

The ending of the film where it seems like the interim Sheriff might just spend his time travelling round to different gigs, facing off against different underworld crime factions is a great set up for future sequels.

Overall, a fun action film.

4/5

Pros.

The action

The premise

The silliness

The gore

Cons.

The on the nose woke stuff

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Cinema Issues: Too Big To Fail, But Failing Anyway The Pedro Pascal Story

Gladiator 2, The Fantastic Four and seemingly the Mandalorian and Grogu all have one thing is common, they either flopped or are predicted to. As we write this piece the Mandalorian is a few days away and it has a low critical rating and bad projections.

What went wrong? Pedro Pascal burst onto the screen after Game of Thrones and Narcos and seemed on a one man mission to take over Hollywood and for a long time he was in a number of things. However, the warning signs were coming.

Pedro became increasingly outspoken, he became worse than Mark Ruffalo and a female equivalent to Rachel Zegler. Zegler at least had the ignorance of youth Pedro doesn’t. He went on blast at the last US election attacking people if they didn’t vote the way he wanted them to, then you had the creepy thing with Vanessa Kirby and the touching, then you had this position on trans issues. Pedro’s brother has delusions that he is a woman as such Pedro defends the idea that someone can become another sex, an idea that is bunk. Pedro also frequently attacks people he deems transphobic or who don’t support the community enough. Can you see where this is going?

Even recently on the press tour for Mando he kissed a late night host on the mouth rather than you know promote the movie. He has become emboldened by the left wing who view him as the perfect modern man to chase this progressive wave.

The issue is as we have seen time and time again in the culture war the dyed hair crowd of bluesky fame, not only don’t come out for the TV and films they spend all day defending against bigots, but when they do they are such a tiny part of the audience the project still fails. As such they shouldn’t be chased.

With his recent string of flops the ground looks set to swallow Pedro alive. Yes the Materialist was a success on a modest budget but in terms of franchise fare it looks like it’s over. If Mando flops those at Lucasfilm and Disney would be wise to hang that dead albatross around Pedro’s neck and blame him and his divisive statements. One wouldn’t be surprised if in a month after the release of Mando if we hear that Pedro has been sacked in the role, possibly maybe even that Reed Richards will be recast for Secret Wars.

Sadly Pedro is just another example of a Hollywood elitist who thought they were an activist rather than an actor.

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Is God Is: Everything Wrong With Modern Hollywood

Summary: twins go in search of their father who disfigured their mother.

Where to start with this, so firstly this may be the most anti nuclear family film ever made. Whilst fathers can be abusive, as is the case here, this film seems to just hate fathers and men full stop.

Then you have the fact that if this was made by a non black person you would call it extremely racist. Nearly every racist cliche under the sun is thrown in here, the father is abusive, and he abandons his second family.

On that you have the fact that they call their mother God as she gave birth to them, with the implication being God is a woman and all women could be God which is sure to upset any religious folks out there. The male half brother also calls the abusive father God as well, which is also fairly blasphemous. The film feels like it is making a deeper point calling these characters God but it comes off as incredibly paper thin.

The twins themselves have been through a horrific life, but they aren’t likeable protagonist they threaten people who haven’t done anything to them such as the father’s lawyer. Yes he didn’t tell them immediately what they wanted to know but that doesn’t mean they had to threaten him. They also attack the father’s current partner who is a beaten woman, so that’s not a great look.

This has been called a “black film” by the people who made it however this label is harmful and reductive as film should be for all and not segregated. This label could be being used by the production crew to deflect any criticism from the film.

Overall, whoever is in charge of developing content for Amazon studios needs sacking immediately.

0/5

Pros.

None.

Cons.

It is not as intellectually deep as it thinks it is

It pushes racist stereotypes about black men

The characters are villains and their trauma doesn’t make their actions against characters other than the father justifiable

It hates men and the nuclear family

It is awfully paced and pretty oppressive to watch

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Cinema Issues: The Odyssey To Inject Modern Dayisms Into Fantasy

First they came for the Lord of the Rings and we were silent, then they came for the Wheel of Time and we murmured, then they came for the Witcher and voices started to rise, now they are coming for real world myths and fables and folks are angry.

(The above example is figurative) we were loud about all of these things bar the Wheel of Time as we actually care about fantasy. However, the point remains folks are really really angry about the Odyssey.

Elon Musk is arguing that Nolan is giving into DEI here despite previous saying he doesn’t want to take a political stance in his films for awards. However he could get them without this. He is also far too big to be succumbing to studio pressure. There is only one reason to cast a woman pretending to be a man as Achilles, and to make Helen of Troy black and that is because he wants to. There is a school of thought that Nolan may have always had these tendencies and have had to hold back or been held back by people yet now thinks that he can get away with it.

It is a conscious choice to inject modern language into the film or to have a rapper be an analogue to the bards of old in the film, whilst fiercely screaming about accuracy elsewhere. Or to do things like talk about diversity whilst a Latina man does white face, or to have the costumes look like they are from Spirit Halloween. Nolan seems to want to take a stand with this film for good or for ill and it could be his first flop.

The access media keen to always do what their studio masters want have already begun running ops for the film, incorrectly using mythology to explain it away or saying it doesn’t matter. A particular favourite is to point out that Jesus isn’t white and so that explains why Helen of Troy is now black, it doesn’t explain a damn thing it shows you they are floundering.

Nolan has started to make statements so far not attacking the audience but how long will it stay that way. We’d guess not long.

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The Sheep Detectives: Why Make This?

Summary: a group of sheep try and figure out their shepard’s murder.

One must question who this was for, the talking sheep themselves and their innocence seemed to point towards kids. Yet the subplots about sheep being forced to fight dogs and animal cruelty who seem to suggest adults.

The central premise of this film rests on how interesting the who dunnit is, and honestly the answer is not very. The answer is somewhat unsatisfactory, as it feels convoluted.

The cast both in terms of the sheep and also the human characters is a who’s who of actors sadly none of them are very memorable.

Overall, a bad idea for a film turns into a badly made film.

1.5/5

Pros.

A few funny jokes

It’s short

Cons.

The tone is off

The cast is wasted

The horrible subplot

The mystery is dull

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A Knight Of The Seven Kingdoms Series Overview: Lighter Game Of Thrones

Summary, a hedge knight tries to make a way for himself in the world.

In many ways this has a lot of interesting stuff around it, such as Summerhall, the Blackfyre Rebellion etc. However the issue centrally with the show is that Dunk’s journey isn’t all that interesting. It gets better when you have the accusations and the trail but the first few episodes are slow.

The comedy or the lighter aspects are what stood out for all the wrong reasons however, Game of Thrones and Westeros as a whole is a serious place. Yes there are sillier elements and yes the Dunk and Egg side of things explore them but having a shot of Dunk pooing within the first episode just feels try hard and juvenile.

Tonally a lighter show could work but it needs to read the room a bit more and to be able to take itself seriously at times too.

The idea at the end of the show that Dunk thinks he just brings bad luck and gets people killed and as such is sad, doesn’t work when he’s only known he’s people for about 5 minutes in some cases.

Overall, an interesting idea that needs a tighter execution.

3/5

Pros.

The world

The trial

The things it sets up

Cons.

The comedy

The slowness

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Highlander: Some Cult Classic Are Just Bad

Where to begin with this, having watched this as a boy and then again all these years later it does not hold up. You notice very quickly that the dub is out of synch with when the characters speak and the accents are noticeably distracting.

The plot makes very little sense and is told in such a way as to leave you for vast sections of the film without any knowledge whatsoever about what is going on.

The swordfighting is also really quite noticeable in a bad way with it missing the mark over and over again, it looks fake in important moments.

Overall, a waste of time.

0.5/5

Pros.

A great Queen soundtrack

Cons.

It makes no sense

The effects are awful

Its poorly made

It badly paced

It’s boring

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Iron Maiden: Burning Ambition: Titans Of Metal

Summary: one of the biggest bands in Metal History gets it’s own doc.

Musical documents can only go so far, they can’t cover everything which means they have to be selective about what they include. That leads to the first issue with the film some big events such as the Ozz Fest incident of 05 are not covered in the film. That said they do cover an awful lot of the most important moments.

It is interesting to see the behind the scenes stuff particularly the trip behind the Iron Curtain and what that represented both to the fans and the band. As well as the creation story behind Eddy that in and of itself is worth the price of admission.

Overall, a good band documentary that doesn’t go as far as you might want it to.

3/5

Pros.

The music

It gives you some good insight

You can see what the band means to each member

Cons

It doesn’t cover all of the important events

Pacing issues.

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