Exit 8: A Long Platform To Nowhere

A man walks up and down a subway platform looking for things out of place.

So if that sounds like an odd premise for a film to you, it’s because it’s actually a premise for a video game that got turned into a film.

Whilst the idea may work in theory in a game, as a film it is painfully dull and at times tedious. A few important, interesting things happen over the course of the film, but by and large it is just repetitive.

Moreover, the central character and spends a lot of the film gasping and wheezing and whilst this may be true to the game, it proves to be incredibly distracting over the course of the film.

Overall, an unnecessary video game adaptation.

1.5/5

Some interesting ideas

One good scare

Cons.

Its too slow

It is repetitive

The ending

The pacing

If you enjoyed this film review, then please head over to Patreon to support the blog. All reviews, articles and interviews are free, with no early access, sponsorships, or content locked behind paywalls. If you value independent coverage of the entertainment industry, your support over there helps to keep it going. Become a member on Patreon below

patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Or if you would rather send a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to the Ko-Fi donation page below

http://ko-fi.com/anothermillennialreviewer

Mother Mary: A Reinvention That Doesn’t Quite Work

A pop star and one of her support team have an interpersonal conflict.

So for the longest time Anne Hathaway was associated blockbusters in Hollywood, she’s done some indie work with films like Collosal but by and large she was in the big films. This seems to be an attempt to pivot towards art house. Art House cinema is a type of cinema in which subtext, imagery, and deep themes are just as if not more important than the plot of the film itself. Cinema is not art, it is a commercial practice, and art house cinema isn’t art it is simply a commercial practice done to appeal to people who want a high brow experience at the cinema. There has been some confusion out there so we need to clear that up.

Anne Hathaway does not shine here, arguably she may even be miscast, her delivery really doesn’t land in the way you would want it to. The conflict between her and her subordinate feels forced and oddly over the top at times.

Whilst Lowery’s more haunting imagery and visuals were appreciated and arelikely the highpoint of the film they couldn’t get away from the poor central conflict.

In many ways this will be viewed as just another pretentious art house film.

Overall, a miss.

1/5

Pros.

The imagery

Cons.

Hathaway

The interpersonal conflict

The ending and the implications

It is badly paced

patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Or if you would rather send a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to the Ko-Fi donation page below

http://ko-fi.com/anothermillennialreviewer

Kiss Of The Spider Woman: Emila Perez Chapter 2

A film within a film about revolution and trans issues.

As you can imagine this film bombed, one doesn’t feel the need to say why as it was fairly obvious. However, even watching it in highly liberal France there were walk outs.

You might imagine that this was because of the trans issues which are far heavier and more focused on here then in older versions. You may imagine it is because the film has it’s politics on its sleeve. However, you will actually find the issue with this film is who it chooses for it’s female lead.

Ms Lopez, Jennifer if you’re friendly, may be many things but a talented actor she is not, seeing her in the marketing material for this film was a red flag and then her actual performance, mamma mia. Someone needs to stop offering her roles.

Overall, boring preachy slop.

1/5.

Pros.

If you want to spend some time in a cool room to escape the spring heat there are worse ways to do it.

It’s dull

Lopez

It is preachy

It pushes ideology

patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Or if you would rather send a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to the Ko-Fi donation page below

http://ko-fi.com/anothermillennialreviewer

Cinema Issues: Seperating The Art From The Artist

In this edition of Cinema Issues we are talking about the recent underperformance critically of the new Michael Jackson biopic.

So an interesting comparison point for this is what happened with Scream 7, in which due to Melissa Barrera being removed from the film, for her abhorrent comments, critics tore the film apart for Palestine.

Whereas here the film is being torn apart by critics due to its sanitisation of the child abuse accusations leveled at Michael Jackson.

In both instances something from the real world is influencing critical scores. One would argue the key difference is that the Barrera issue does not effect the overall quality of the film as it is not as though a section of the film is missing, or that the full story isn’t being told, the story therein was changed. The film you get with Scream 7 removes any trace of her, whereas by accounts with Michael it is incomplete and sanitised and that matters in a biopic. People want warts and all.

With the broader discourse around Jackson there was a question of whether this film should have even been made, as many people consider him to be a monster. There are also plenty of fans of the artist who disagree, however the polarisation is at the heart of Jackson’s legacy so to not cover it is cowardice.

There is the idea that it is safer not to lean to one side or the other in terms of the film so the idea to just not cover it at all makes sense. However, then you set up white washing accusations.

Moreover, in terms of the accusations you can white wash a great deal many things, child abuse is not one of them. The fact that he was accused so many times of it leaves a bitter taste in a lot of people’s mouths, so the idea of separating the art from the artist becomes a lot harder to do.

Whilst normally the critics would be wrong to bring politics into their reviews, they are right to do so here as they are pointing out how a massive section of the film/Jackson’s life is missing and it’s a white wash.

If you enjoyed this Cinema Issues article , then please head over to Patreon to support the blog. All film reviews are free, with no early access, sponsorships, or content locked behind paywalls. If you value independent coverage of the entertainment industry, your support over there helps to keep it going. Become a member on Patreon below

patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Or if you would rather send a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to the Ko-Fi donation page below

http://ko-fi.com/anothermillennialreviewer

Stranger Things Tales From 85 Overview: A Defiled Corpse Is Given The Weekend At Bernie’s Treatment.

Netflix killed Stranger Things that is very very important to state at the top, whether it was gay Will with superpowers being the real hero, the lack of a bonus 9th episode, or the horrible documentary wherein you realise the Duffers used ChatGPT to help write episodes.

They ran it into the ground. No spin off from it could ever do well now.

However they thought going back to the hey day of the show might get around that. Let’s not talk about the fact that they couldn’t even get a single major cast member back for this.

Despite the episode lengths being shorter this felt longer than the last season that’s just how bad the pacing is. Binging it in order to get this review out relatively quickly but it was a slog.

The formula of the show is a depressing retread of the main show, nostalgia, mysteries without good answers, and Marvel-esque writing with no emotional depth.

The animation is also ugly in every possible scene.

Really the question when it comes to this is why, just why. There was no need no one wanted this.

0.5/5

Pros

The music is okay

Cons.

It is needless

The voices are jarring

The story is dull

It is badly paced

The ending

patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Or if you would rather send a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to the Ko-Fi donation page below

http://ko-fi.com/anothermillennialreviewer

The Mummy: Half Dead But Half Decent

Summary: a young girl is kidnapped and mummified.

Blumhouse making a mummy film didn’t fill anyone with confidence but this film is not entirely bad. Where it focuses specifically on Egyptian themed horror it works well. There is some genuine promise here.

Then they make it every possession film ever made, and parody the Evil Dead with large portions of the family getting possessed and acting like Deadites. Look at what Lee Cronin’s last film was.

Any promise it had went out of the window when they started saying the little girl was possessed by an ancient demon. How many times do we have to see the same thing play out.

The film goes almost exactly as you would expect it to then ends.

Overall, it ruins its promise.

3/5

The early parts of the film have real promise

The Egypt stuff is really cool

May Calamamawy is great

Cons.

The demon stuff makes it generic

It is predictable

patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Or if you would rather send a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to the Ko-Fi donation page below

http://ko-fi.com/anothermillennialreviewer

Amelie: Too French For It’s Own Good

Summary a fantasist decided to meddle in other people’s lives.

There was a horribly uncanny experience to this film, wherein things seemed just a bit too off kilter. This was contrasted by the social realist elements which were equally as distressing.

At times you thought the film might be trying to be quirky, in the same way say the films of Wes Anderson are but there was just too much oddness for that.

Moreover, if you have been reading our review for a while you’ll know our views on sexualising the disabled. Most of the people in this film could be classed as learning disabled based on how they act, yet the film constantly puts them in sexual situations. For example Amelie herself who seems to be child like in many ways, is shown having sex and just mindlessly smiling off to the side vacantly at the start of the film, she then visits a sex shop looking for someone and seems uncomfortable. Follow that up with how a random man in a skeleton costume blows on her neck and fondles her and this is supposed to be fine, again she didn’t ask for it, but she later says she liked it. It’s uncomfortable viewing.

Overall, a film best forgotten about in the past

1/5

Pros

A few funny moments

Cons.

Sexualising the mentally disabled

The uncanny elements

The social realism

It’s uncomfortable viewing

patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Or if you would rather send a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to the Ko-Fi donation page below

http://ko-fi.com/anothermillennialreviewer

Malcolm In The Middle Life Is Still Unfair: Hollywood Takes A Dump On The Nuclear Family.

As fans of the original run, we were excited for this.

Stevie, the kid who had a girlfriend and was clearly into women is now gay, the mystery baby from the series finale is now a how dare you they/them person, and for added diversity Malcolm has to be an interracial relationship, as Lord knows Hal and Lois is one white relationship too many.

Do we really need to go on. You know why this was bad. It wasn’t funny, it didn’t care about the original series much at all and wanted to stuff it full of the modern message, it was preachy and it talked down to its audience. This could have been something but it died a death at the hands of modern Hollywood.

The more the episodes went on you could see that this was not brought back for love, or as there was a story to tell it was brought back to preach and for the money. The issue with projects like this is that you can include characters or different races or sexualities in a natural way that doesn’t feel like it is the story, however, herein they felt the need to make it the story and to really focus on it.

Oh also Malcolm is a loser who gets told off for the first 3 episodes and then get his marriage proposal rejected in the final episode, as God forbid you can have a male character that isn’t a failure or a joke now. This show seems intent on taking any goodwill and joy and burning it in front of you.

Overall, there would have been a time seeing a beloved show like this dug up paraded around and then spat on would have elicited more of a reaction, it would have been sadder. Now it’s par for the course.

0.5/5

Pros.

It’s only 4 episodes

Cons.

It’s not funny

It doesn’t care about what the show was

It’s preachy

It doesn’t need to exist

You can feel how much Hollywood hates the audience

patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Or if you would rather send a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to the Ko-Fi donation page below

http://ko-fi.com/anothermillennialreviewer

California Schemin: James McAvoy’s Most Depressing Film?

Remember McAvoy has a great film called Filth wherein he kills himself right as he has a chance for happiness and it’s too late to save him. Remember that when I tell you this is more depressing.

It is harrowing to see how much these people are disregarded for being from Scotland and how much they hate their lives in Scotland. As the duo gain fame whilst pretending to be American the film does the standard biopic trend of having them lose their way due to drink and drugs. We then see the band breakup and one of the two boys try and kill themselves. Like I said a positive and happy times this is not.

McAvoy steals the scenes he’s in and is a force of nature giving off a Scottish Vinnie Jones type of vibe. As a director he does a component job and manages the pace of the film well, you can see shades of Boyle and later Loach in his style.

Overall, whilst not an enjoyable film due to the subject matter, it is a well made film.

2.5/5

Pros.

The camera work and overall style of the film

The pace

It shines a life on non glamorised Scotland

Cons.

It is depressing

It recycles musical biopic tropes

James Corden

City of the Dead: Witches In Americas Foggiest Small Town

This film has a keen sense of style, it’s gothic aesthetic particularly the town of Whitewood are quite memorable particularly when compared to modern films.

The witch lore is fairly standard stuff but everyone is having enough fun and being silly with it so it feels hammy in a good way.

The main criticism of the film would be that the “good” characters, are actually quite horrible. The brother and boyfriend who both go after the lead to try and help her out treat her like she’s not a person and so it is hard to root for them during the film’s third act.

Overall, fun but let down my poor protagonists.

3/5.

Pros.

The aesthetic

The horror

The hamminess

Cons.

The heroes are not heroes

It is too short

patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Or if you would rather send a donation if Patreon isn’t for you then please find a link to the Ko-Fi donation page below

http://ko-fi.com/anothermillennialreviewer