Toy Story 5: Let It Die

Summary: Pixar continues to run a beloved IP into the ground.

Lets stop the story and do an incredibly boomer moment of kids being on screens are bad huh, every grandparent in the room just let out a cheer, whereas everyone under the age of 50 says shut up. Of course the villain is sympathetic as the days of having evil villains are long gone, we all just need to be more empathetic and listen to each other.

Jessie has to get a backstory, because God knows audiences were crying out for that, but hey what would a Disney product be without a girlboss. Herein, they do the incredibly cringe Taylor Swift song to try and get the Swifties to care about a franchise that hasn’t been relevant in 15 years. Of course in order to give Jessie her moment Woody had to be humiliated, gaining a beer belly and a bald ‘sun bleached’ spot.

The most depressing thing of all is how this is just a franchise that should have had the life support out pulled ages ago but Disney is too scared of new ideas. We get these needless retreads and time with side characters that no one ever asked for.

Overall, Disney as a company is creatively bankrupt.

1/5

Pros.

One or two funny jokes

Cons.

It’s needless

The screen commentary is tiresome

We don’t need a Jessie backstory

Girlboss slop

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Cinema Issues: Cancelling A Show After One Season

Today we are doing something a bit different and doing a bit of a PSA. So if like us you’re getting tired of seeing posts whining about various shows canceled after one season, wherein the poster didn’t understand why it has happened, the idea here is to explain to them once and for all, so they stop being tedious.

1- It is all about ratings, no not critical scores, viewing figures/ratings. It doesn’t matter if there is a right wing backlash to the show they don’t have the power to end it, it doesn’t matter if there is a loyal audience if it is small. How it has always worked is if the show doesn’t hit the ratings target it gets canned.

2- Sometimes shows get second seasons as they are bought up front or developed for two seasons. This then contractually overrules ratings issues. Look at the God Awful Halo TV series for an example of this, it was commissioned for two seasons and so it got a second season despite terrible ratings.

3- The only thing that matters is you watching it, talking about it online and buying merch, these things send the correct corporate signals. Boycotts and petitions after a decision has been made change nothing in most cases.

4- Businesses aren’t charities they don’t give a show 5 seasons to find an audience, not in the hyper competitive world of streaming you aren’t either a hit out of the gate as something like Squid Game was or you aren’t and then cancelled.

5- You aren’t entitled to a second season, when you start a show you aren’t entitled to an ending either. Check yourself.

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Vivo: Yet More Woke Slop For Kids

Summary: an old musician plays one last song.

So Lin Manuel-Miranda is the most overrated character in the film industry in the last 20 years. His music is always just the same.

He here plays a kid that tries to stop his Grand Uncle from being happy as he likes his life in poverty and would rather his uncle be miserable in order for him to be happy, just like most spoilt brats.

Of course Vivo doesn’t fit in and is an outsider and shows all the hallmarks of every other progressive woke character you have seen in the last decade.

The film fixates on the Afro-Latino community as they are a massive audience for your film and feels very much as though it doesn’t want none members watching it.

Overall, what were Sony Pictures Animation doing with this.

1/5

Pros.

One good song

Cons

Pacing issues

Ugly animation

It’s boring

It just feels forced

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Cinema Issues: Audiences Inability To Wait

The other day there was supposed footage from Avengers Doomsday doing the rounds, supposedly leaked. It was in incredibly bad quality and was quite hard to watch. Looking at the view count clearly a lot of people had looked at it.

However, this is a symptom of a wider problem. People used to be able to wait for things to wait for a trailer, to wait for the film to come out, yet now people are getting excited and rushing to see a poor quality leaked bit of test footage that likely won’t even make it into the film.

This does a disservice to fans as it shows them as being desperate, fans shouldn’t be desperate they should be more discerning and only want to see the best possible version of the footage that is actually finished.

Sadly it is unlikely to change anytime soon.

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Office Romance: Jennifer Lopez Can’t Act Like A Professional For An Hour And A Half

Summary: a career woman realises she wants romance.

The idea of the career women suddenly realising she’s lonely and in need of romance is an old cliche that surely we are all tried of. The idea of HR being bad and needing to be rewritten is also an old idea but one that does have some precise relevance in 2026.

Jennifer Lopez can’t act, she is playing Jenifer Lopez and arguably Goldstein is playing Roy Kent/himself as well. The chemistry is dead as well.

There is a scene with a dude having an erection because it’s okay to objectify men but not women now. Moreover, there is a childbirth scene shown pretty much in full so buckle up and get ready for that.

Netflix needs to stop their association with Lopez, their films are already looked down on as terrible for the most part and slop for the other part, having her around doesn’t reduce that.

Overall, just awful.

0.5/5

Pros.

A few unintentionally funny moments

Cons.

The acting

The lack of chemistry

The child birth scene

The double standard

The clichéd storyline

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Will and Harper: You Need To Cancel Your Netflix

Summary: Some Hollywood celebrities tell their kids they are trans before they can even understand what that means for virtue points. Here a fading comedian does a similar thing, by trotting out a “long time friend”/ mentally unwell man.

So, what to say about this. Frankly this is a dangerous thing to be made, it tries to tell people how to think, it tells people they need to unlearn basic biological realities. It is very 1984 in that way, it tells people they are privileged for not being mentally ill and suffering from a condition wherein you wrongly believe you can change your sex.

It tries to take aim at laws designed to protect things like women’s single sex spaces, and women’s sports from men, who in this case consider themselves women. Most people can agree women should have private spaces and sports that aren’t taken over by men who think they are women. Yet not Will Ferrell.

Now Buddy the Elf himself is here to tell you what a grotesque bigot you are and how you should be ashamed for understanding basic biology.

Why Netflix continues to fund stuff like this even though it is loss leading for them is baffling. It is one of the wokest streaming services out there and no one with a brain would still be subscribed, unless sadly you have to review their trash.

Overall, a dangerous project that everyone involved with should be deeply ashamed of.

0/5

Pros.

None

Cons.

It makes you actively dislike Will Ferrell

It hates the audience unless you think like them

There are clear tokenist elements

It spews misinformation

It has pacing issues

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Michael Jackson The Verdict: The Coming Storm

Summary: a documentary about the accusations around Michael Jackson.

Editor’s note: we didn’t cover Michael the film as it was made by the estate and white washed, there was no value in it and it was made to exploit Jackson’s wacko fans. We are covering this as it is a more objective look at the man’s life.

This may be the most comprehensive view you are going to get into the trail of Jackson. As a child growing up in mainland Europe this was lurid circus a million miles away, everyone heard the worst, then came the defenders. This documentary has already been widely controversial as the defenders do mental gymnastics to avoid uncomfortable questions. However, watching it it wasn’t as damning as you might think, it certainly looks like Jackson had an inappropriate relationship with other people’s kids, that can be true if he slept in bed with them in a non sexual way as well. Though the evidence for abuse is high, the documentary aims to try and present a balanced picture.

There are people in it who defend Jackson be that from his inner circle of fandom, but there is also more of a spirit of understanding rather than a rush to conclusion. This documentary wants to understand what happened from all perspectives rather than just say innocent or guilty, that is admirable.

The most interesting thing the documentary does is shine a light into the unhealthy minds of his defenders who go to the point of violence to not interact with uncomfortable truths.

Overall, a well researched, balanced documentary series that won’t change anyone’s mind.

4/5

Pros.

It is well researched

It is unbiased and tries to be objective

It shows the unhealthy world of fandom

It takes it time and doesn’t rush to a conclusion

Cons.

You’d argue it could be one long film rather than 3 episodes

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Cinema Issues: Hopefully The Last Death Of Doctor Who

Making it cheaper, won’t fix the fact no one is watching.

This week against the cries of us being stupid and wrong, we were proven right in our assessment of Doctor Who. It wasn’t in fact a stunning and brave success story with better ratings than ever before, and Disney leaving with their money mattered. Who knew, we did, but the Doctor Who fans wouldn’t accept it.

Turns out telling your main demographic, straight white men that they aren’t welcome anymore and that you’re making a show for the LGBTQ+ community isn’t a great way to get your show another season. The fact is the LGBTQ+ community is less than 20% of the world’s population as such you shouldn’t cater big franchises to them as they aren’t enough for the returns. Individual low budget small films or programs sure but not major franchises.

RTD, the cast and the BBC got high on their own supply and thought that they were making revolutionary content that would save us all from the imagined “far right” when in fact all it did was destroy the brand. People got sick of the constant white man bad narratives, and guessing how many drag characters would be in it week to week.

Right now it’s not officially cancelled as they haven’t said that but then again do they need to. It has no showrunner, it has no actors, it lacks the funds it needs to keep going, they couldn’t even make a Christmas special and AMC their new American partners are more interested in the straight white male era of Doctor Who not what it became.

For those of you who will screech it’s always been woke, there is a difference between presenting different view points left and right in programming and having you make up your own mind. As there is with teaching you moral lessons as relevant to the plot. Whereas modern Who feels the need to pause the episode turn to the camera and then give you a 5 minute speech about why white people are evil, or possibly if it’s feeling adventurous why straight men are bad.

This will always be remembered as the era when RTD said you couldn’t have a disabled person play a villain as it would be ableist and so changes the entire cannon of the show.

Hopefully it dies for the final time and RTDs career meets the same end as the Duffers and the Game of Thrones Duo.

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Scary Movie 6: Giving The Woke Movement It’s Just Deserts

So there are a few laugh out loud moments here, and a few cheer worthy ones such as seeing people come together on screen to push back and dismantle woke culture. It is nice to see filmmakers finally start to get it.

However, that is not to say it was a perfect film, a number of the jokes don’t land, there is a real cringe sequence about performing oral on a woman, and a strange K-Pop inspired sequence that just seemed bizarre. It must be stated that comedy is subjective.

In many senses this film was made for fans of the series if you have watched the other 5 scary movies then you’ll get something out of this. The entire 3rd act mentions the 3rd and 4th film a lot, and it factors into who the killer is. So that’s rewarding if you are a long term fan.

Overall, don’t believe the hysteria from all the left wing folks saying this is the worst film ever made as it offended them. It is a reward for fans of the franchise and has a few good funny moments.

3/5

Pros.

A few funny moments

The broader franchise connections

The older characters returning, particularly Anna Faris

Cons.

Not all the jokes land and some are quite cringe

The K-Pop sequence

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Cinema Issues: The Future of Star Wars

Lets reflect, the Mandalorian and Grogu has flopped and been upstaged by two indie horror films. The sequel trilogy is reviled and was diminishing returns. Solo flopped and most of the Disney + shows have been cancelled after one season.

It is pretty safe to say Star Wars isn’t in a healthy way. The issue as far as we see it is that new audiences don’t care about Star Wars, attempts to broaden the appeal haven’t worked, so what needs to happen is to reawaken those who have lost interest or left the fandom but once cared. This may be impossible but it’s the only card left.

What needs to happen to restore trust with these old fans is firstly some accountability, the management needs to admit failure, and needs to punish the actors and creatives who openly spat on said fans. Calling them often things like bigots, trolls or pathetic, these actors and creatives need to be fired in a public show that things are changing.

From there a consultation period is needed wherein Star Wars asks it’s hardcore fans, including the members of the Fandom Menace which it has long hated what to do next. Fans should pick the direction be it towards the Old Republic or Legends stuff. Doing this allows fans to feel heard and to feel like they have some ownership of the franchise again. This will inevitably be met with criticism from the left wing press who will scream how they are letting bigots win. What Lucasfilm and Disney should do is use the left’s logic back on them and say no Star Wars is for everyone including the fandom menace people. Having these media types upset will score them more browny points with the people they have alienated.

After that choose the best director for the job, and the right cast. Do away with anything relating to DEI and cast on merit, involve the fans again to a degree in the production stage of things. This is unorthodox however, Star Wars has alienated fans so so much and is in such a bad shape they should almost carry out their next film as a Kickstarter, sans asking for money, in order to restore trust.

You also need to commit to the course of action and to have an outline and a plan for where the story is going. One of the greatest issues with the sequel trilogy is that there was no plan.

If you can restore fan trust and bring back on board those you lost with the sequels and the wider Disney Star Wars era then you might have a chance at saving Star Wars.

However, they’ll most likely just sell it off as it’s a loss producer now.

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