The Testament Of Ann Lee: Shaking Your Way To The Lord

Summary, Ann Lee, Amanda Seyfried, believes herself to be the female reincarnation of the Messiah during the period of the Great Awakening.

This film will be divisive, it was an art film in the truest sense, it is pretentious and it likes symbolism. That will put people off. It is a musical about a very depressing subject matter, and has uncomfortable sexual moments throughout, this will put off people. Then there is the fact that it’s about the Shakers, a Christian sect, and other types of Christians might find some of the things in this film to be heretical, which will put people off. If you make it through all that you’ll find an interesting and original film.

Yes the accents were God awful, but the film tried to do something a bit different, and take what could have been a very heavy and depressing story and make it more engaging and compelling.

The music also oddly works.

Overall, this is a win for Ms Seyfried.

3.5/5

Pros.

It does something different

The music

It is an interesting story

The sheer art-cinemaness of it

Cons.

The pacing

There are a lot of things that can put you off the film

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The Bride: The Most Brutal Curb Stop Since American History X

Summary, a new take on the Bride of Frankenstein.

It seems no matter where you go people didn’t like this film, to some it is too feminist, to others the Bride is unlikeable etc. Regardless, this film was an enjoyable take on the character.

Jessie Buckley’s manic monologues were a bad choice for sure, but her character wasn’t unlikeable or too feminist as others say. She was a real person who had suffered greatly at the hands of the world and wanted someone to pay, she developed a real love for Frankenstein, Christian Bale, over the course of the film and this was quite affecting on screen.

Stylistically the film was all over the place, and tried to be an art film and also something more commercial, not realising you can’t be both. It was very apparent as you were watching, that it was made by an early career director, but everyone has to start somewhere and this was perfectly serviceable.

Overall, not as bad as you’ve heard, but surely not one to rush out to either.

2.5/5

Pros.

The style mostly works

The Bonnie and Clyde feel of it

The ending

Cons.

The odd monologues

The pacing was off

It felt totally confused at times

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Missing Child Video Tape: A Mountain of Madness

Summary, after his brother went missing many years ago at the summit of a mysterious mountain a Japanese man and his roommate go on a journey to try and find him.

As far as ghost stories go this was quite effective, there were a number of twists and turns wherein your expectations are subverted, for example there was a time when it appeared as though the lead had killed his brother. The ending needed further clarity however, as the ending implied a number of things but nothing really directly. This was likely done so you could imagine the ending yourself and have your own interpretation however, it would have been nicer if there could have been more of a structured answer.

It does atmospheric well, and the horror mainly comes from creepy moments, and the overall vibe rather than from jump scares. If that is what you’re looking for arguably this is not the film for you.

An effective J-Horror film let down somewhat by its ending.

3/5

Pros.

The atmosphere

The scares

The twists and turns

Cons.

The ending

The pacing

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How To Get To Heaven From Belfast Season Overview: Like Derry Girls But Older

Summary: A trio of women are brought together over the death of their friend and decide to investigate it.

The only reason many people will watch this show is because it is from the woman who created Derry Girls, which was one of the better comedy/sitcom shows of the last decade. Anyway, this is the follow up.

In many ways the lineage is both a pro and a con, it is a pro in that the show is funny, it mimics Derry Girls’ sensibilities and the banter between the women is strong. However, it also feels like a rehash and feels overly familiar to Derry Girls’ at the same time. It feels as though they are trying to replicate Derry Girls just with older characters and one self contained storyline.

The storyline around what happened to their friend, and then as the series progresses is the friend alive, and where is she etc, feels like a very generic sort of detective drama plot line that has been done before. The more the series tries to lean into the mystery aspect the more generic it feels.

There is also an incredibly needless will they won’t they romance sub-plot which takes time away from the bond between the women which is really the key focus of the show.

Overall, watchable if generic.

3/5

Pros

It’s funny

Some good performances

It is well paced

Cons.

It feels too familiar

The mystery is generic

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Cold Storage: Being Named After A Biscuit

Summary, a couple of storage workers accidentally release a deadly alien organism.

In a post Stranger Things world, it is noticeable that Joe Keery is trying to stay in the genre space. This in many ways felt very similar to older genre stuff such as Hole or something of that nature wherein it isn’t quite YA but is softer horror.

Keery was a likeable enough lead and anchored the film but it was a shame the film didn’t give us more of Liam Nesson considering he was the big name on the poster.

The film isn’t scary so much as it is gross, and if that’s what you’re into then you’ll enjoy this film. It is enjoyable but not really as a horror film.

Overall, fun and not much more

3.5/5

Pros.

Keery

The little we get of Nesson

It’s a nice little adventure

Its well paced

Cons.

It doesn’t really work as a horror film

The leads have no chemistry

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Cinema Issues: The Death Of Film Criticism

Once upon a time film criticism was respectable, you had your Eberts and later Kermodes. However, then came the internet wherein the access critic really began to flourish.

These people are often flown out to movie premieres given goodie bags and nice meals in exchange for saying a film is the best thing ever. They shill for films and studios on their social media channels, sometimes even taking sponsorships from them. Needless to say this shows the perverting of film criticism you cannot be objective and be in the pocket of a studio’s marketing department.

Then again you see that’s the gig, these “reviewers” need early access in order to stand out, as their actual analysis is weak. As such they are indebted to the studios. They want to rub elbows with celebrities and feel like a somebody when that was never supposed to be the role of the reviewer. The reviewer was either an art appreciator giving their opinion on the art they saw, or a man of the people telling you whether a film was worth the price or not. The issue was these people wanted to try and turn themselves into celebrities, they wanted to chase fame through film criticism usually after other failed careers, see Grace Randolph, or John Campea for that. This made them lose sight of what they were doing.

Much like independent coverage and citizen journalism is bringing balance back to news coverage we need that here. We need film opinions that don’t chase fame, we need honest conversations that don’t worry about upsetting left wing or right wing, we need to look at the films we see through the prism of was that an enjoyable film or not. If we don’t then more and more critics will just become irrelevant, increasingly they already are.

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Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die: A Bit Too Close For Comfort

Summary: A man comes back from the future to stop a merciless AI.

Whilst this may sound like a retread of Terminator, there is enough savvy and spot on commentary here to make this it’s own fresh hell. The comments about teens and the whole side plot about school shootings was incredibly timely and needed, it was surprising to see the film go there.

The ending which also takes a dark turn works well, as it keeps the idea going, and doesn’t give it an easy happy ending to wrap it up with. The fact remains that as the characters say AI is inevitable, the only thing that really can be done is to put up barriers to try and protect ourselves.

Overall, likely the second best film of the year.

4/5

Pros.

It’s funny

It’s timely

The cast work well together

The science fiction concept is great

Cons.

It has some rather bleak moments

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Hoppers: Pixar Is Trying To Indoctrinate Your Kids

A young woman decides to make her grief everyone else’s problem.

So this film shows that Pixar learnt absolutely nothing from previous failures and that it is going to continue to be preachy and force in left wing messaging into kids films. The oddness here is the messaging would clearly go over a child’s head, some of it is high concept so they are just trying to pander to the parents who have been forced to see the film. The whole film goes on and on about environmentalism, so get ready for that.

The film itself would be quite distressing for kids, you see a number of scenes that play upon the fact that the lead’s Grandmother recently died and you have that emotional manipulation from Pixar. You also have scenes of small animals looking in danger or being distressed to traumatise little kids if that was not enough.

On top of that the lead is incredibly unlikeable. She makes everything about her, she wants to keep the glade open, she feels angry, she is grieving etc. She uses people and the Mammal King in order to achieve her own ends but we are supposed to root for her. It shows you the modern Hollywood morality where they are like ‘she has a righteous cause who cares if she is a good person she automatically is as she cares about what we care about’.

Don’t let the focus on talking animals trick you, that is just a gimmick to push political messaging.

1.5/5

Pros.

The Mammal King

Some of the sillier aspects

Cons.

The political messaging

The deeply unlikable lead

The emotional manipulation

The scenes of animal distress

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Cinema Issues: The Failure of the Scream 7 Boycott

In this Cinema Issues article we are talking about the backlash to Scream 7.

At first we were not going to cover this as it gives bad faith actors too much attention however as the weekend drew on and they escalated and escalated we decided to jump in.

If you don’t know Melissa Barrera was fired from the Scream franchise, or chose to leave if you believe her, as she said some abhorrent things about Israel. The idiotic Pro Palestine crowd got very upset about this and had big feelings, and decided they were going to boycott Scream 7 to teach Paramount a lesson.

Then came the second wave, just before the film released a number of “critics” gave the film terrible reviews most having not watched it, or judging the film not based on its own merits but with the politics around it. People like John Campea got so upset that he said the film needed to “Rot In Hell”, yes this is the same John Campea who has casually said the N word despite being very white before now. As you could see they decided to put any sense of professionalism to one side to try and attack the film and punish the people that did the thing they didn’t like politically.

Then came the final wave, the “fans” who all came out of the woodwork to say how this was the worst Scream ever, they didn’t understand fundamental parts of the film such as why the new killers use AI to try and remind Sidney of her past killer status. Or they harp on about how it mentions New York a few times, a reference to Neve Campbell’s absence from the last film, not to the Carpenter Sisters but hey. These “fans” would have lapped it up if Melissa had still been the main character.

The best thing about all of this is that not only did these people destroy their credibility and reveal themselves for being bad faith actors, but also that they failed. The film had a bigger box office opening weekend than any of the films in the series even when you adjust all the others for inflation. Scream 8 is already in pre-production, and the franchise has never looked healthier. Much like with how they tried to boycott Hogwarts Legacy and then that failed this goes to show you just how little power these activists have and how irrelevant they are.

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Scream 7: Free Scream From Melissa Barrera

Summary: The franchise goes back to it’s roots and brings back Sidney, Neve Campbell.

So we’ll say this up front, a hell of a lot of the reviews aren’t talking about the film at all they are talking about politics. They don’t like that Melissa Barrera was fired for abhorrent political views and think trashing the film now will give her some retribution? Anyway, if they want to destroy their own credibility then fine, but for us it’s on with the show.

So for the most part this was an enjoyable film, it was good to see Sidney again, I would have liked slightly more Gale but it was still a cheer worthy moment when she came back, taking down the killer.

It would have been a better pay off if Stu was in fact the killer, even with the weird amnesia angle, as it stood it is a little underwhelming when they reveal who the killers are. However, it works in a meta sense if you think the fans are the killer, the fans’ demand for Sidney to come back etc. If you think about it like that it still works. There is a good chance they may actually bring back Stu for Scream 8.

The teens weren’t given a whole lot to do, and were all distractingly old for teens, Isabel May specifically. The ending that had her follow in her mother’s survivor footsteps was good, however, the relationship between her and Sidney was a bit wooden, there could have been more done to make that feel real and human.

Overall, fun and enjoyable with only a few minor issues.

4/5

Pros.

The focus on Sidney

The ending transformation of Tatum

Joel McHale stole the scenes he was in

Gale’s entrance

Cons.

The reveal is a little weak, but works in a meta sense.

Isabel May needs to be less wooden

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