The Little Hours: 3 Very Strange Nuns

The Little Hours is a period comedy film directed by Jeff Baena. The plot sees servant Massetto (Dave Franco), go on the run after he sleeps with his master’s wife. In his effort to escape he finds his way to a convent filled with some very untypical nuns. Each nun has their own plans and designs for Massetto, and he has to try and endure it all while pretending to be deaf and mute.

This is not only one of the best comedies I have seen recently but also one of the best films too. I really enjoyed this film’s quirky, manic, off kilter sense of humour it made me laugh a number of times. I thought the comedic standout of the film was defiantly Nick Offerman as Lord Bruno, the cheated-on husband, his scenes with Franco were comedic gold.

I think the best thing this film does is you never really know where it is going, one minute it seems like the nuns just want to use Massetto to aid in their sexual frustration, but then it turns into something altogether more sinister. Sister Fernanda (Aubrey Plaza), and her friend Marta (Jemima Kirke) are witches.

However, rather than feel out of place and like a random twist the reveal of the witches makes sense in the context of early events and helps to make the overall picture of the film far clearer. I also liked the ending of the film where the 3 nuns decide to start their own coven along with Massetto, I think it is yet another cool twist I didn’t see coming. I think the ending as a whole is very well done too.

My one, minor, complaint would be the first 20 minutes are quite slow. Once this film gets going it is great and you can’t look away, but the first 20 minutes and slow and a bit boring and might lead you away from the film; stick with it though.

Overall, a brilliant hidden gem of a film that I highly recommend you watch!

Pros.

The humour.

The twists.

The ending.

The performances from everyone.

Cons.

The beginning is a little slow.

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Alita Battle Angel: Trapped In The Uncanny Valley

Alita Battle Angel is a cyberpunk action film directed by Robert Rodriguez; based on 1993 Japanese anime series Battle Angel. The plot follows Alita (Rosa Salazar), a cyborg girl with a mysterious past who is rebuilt by roboticist Dr. Ido (Christoph Waltz), she tries to adapt to life as a normal teenage girl but her past gets in the way. She is hunted down by a series of other cyborgs and must defeat them all to keep those she loves alive.

For a long time I have been meaning to watch this film, I know a lot of people love it, so I decided to check it out. I enjoyed it, it has a series of issues that stopped it from being a perfect film for me, but as an overall film I think it worked well and I would like to see a sequel to this film.

I think the strongest thing about this film is its world, it is dense and well explored, the lore never feels forced it feels natural and becomes something you want to learn more about. It is also left ambiguous enough that there is plenty of room for further exploration if I sequel does come out. The performances are all also excellent especially Salazar, she does a lot with a character that is mostly CGI she gives her a warmth and a personality that makes her instantly likeable.

However, I think ultimately what harms this film is it’s CGI. Sometimes, albeit rarely, the CGI is impressive and does standout, it is not Avatar level, but it is impressive. For the most part however, the CGI is poor and video game esque. This is mostly true of the faces of other cyborgs especially the ones she fights throughout the film. What’s more the CGI on Alita’s eyes bothered me throughout much of the film they are weird looking and are trapped in the uncanny valley, it was only midway through the film that I got use to them and even then I had to try not to look at them.

Another thing I didn’t like about the film was the angsty teen romance. This is only a brief subplot, but whenever the plot deviates to it, it slows down. There really is no need for it as it adds very little to the film overall.

Overall, this is a strong science fiction film that has a great world and characters, what lets it down is poor CGI and a needless romantic subplot.

Pros.

Rosa Salazar.

The characters.

The world.

Cons.

The bad CGI.

The romance subplot.

3.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Misbehaviour: Bringing Down The System

Misbehaviour is a historical drama film directed by Phillipa Lowthorpe. The people revolves around the 1970 Miss World competition and the actions of a branch of the Female Liberation Movement to disrupt it and show the eyes of the world the harm the competition is doing to society.

This one is a little politics heavy, right from the off, so if that isn’t your thing don’t watch it.

Personally, I think this film makes a lot of great points about society and the balance of the sexes. It shows us the audience the predatory nature of these competitions and how the woman are treated like meat. The scene when all of the girls have to turn around in their swimming costumes and the mostly male judges spent an awfully long time staring at their arses at it is an uncomfortable scene.

This film makes you question society and the messages it creates: because competitions like Miss World were aimed at a family audience, so you would have little girls watching it and thinking the only way a woman can have value is to be pretty; which is a bad message obviously. This film really begs the question to beauty pageants and competitions have a place in 2020?

Keira Knightly as Sally Alexander is commendable, she is one of the most underrated actors working today, turning in solid performance after solid performance. This film also features Gugu Mbatha-Raw as Jennifer Hosten aka Miss Grenada, Mbatha- Raw does a great job in this film and has a strong presences throughout, her character was the first non-white winner of the Miss World Competition, and her ending serves as a true inspiration; also the conversation she has with Sally about representation vs change is fascinating to think about.

This film has Greg Kinnear as Bob Hope, as I suppose the villain of the film, he is hateable from the moment he appears on screen and when his performance get cut short it feels like a true victory.

Overall, this is an important film as watching it forces us to consider elements and aspects from our society we might not otherwise think about, this film presents us with the lessons of the past and asks us to learn from them.

Pros.

Knightly.

Mbatha-Raw.

The Message.

Something to think about.

Cons.

It is a little long and could be trimmed down a bit.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Tusk: I Am The Walrus

Tusk is a horror comedy film directed by Kevin Smith. The plot sees internet famous podcaster Wallace Bryton (Justin Long), go to Canada in search of a weird story for his podcast, there he meets Howard Howe (Michael Parks), a man who is obsessed with bring his dead best friend Mr Tusk (a walrus), back to life. What follows is an increasingly menacing situation as Howe tries to turn Bryton into a human walrus hybrid.

This film marks the start of Smith’s True North trilogy, (which as of the time of writing only has Yoga Hosers as the other film in the trilogy), however unlike Hosers, this film is tonally a mess. Yoga Hosers was a comedy from the get-go, it didn’t take itself seriously and was slightly serious at times. Tusk, however, has moments when it tries to be serious and dark and moments that are comedic and over the top, these two parts of the film don’t mesh together and feel at odds with one another. It seems to be as though Smith couldn’t make his mind up over how he wanted the tone of this film to be.

The performances in this film are a mixed bag, one the one hand you have Parks who plays the crazed walrus fanatic superbly; he is menacing and threatening whenever he is on screen. However, Long is not a convincing hero, his Wallace is deeply unlikable (before you even find out how bad he is towards his girlfriend), from the moment he opens his mouth he is irritating. As a result of this you end up wanting him to suffer and be turned into a walrus as it seems a fitting punishment.

Johnny Depp as disgraced detective Lapointe is easily the best thing about this film and much like in Hosers has all the best lines. He is the only character you will remember once the credits role.

Overall, this is a weak start to Smith’s trilogy as it is tonally inconsistent and Long is loathsome. However Parks and Depp make up for it. A very so-so film.

Pros.

Depp

Parks

It is an interesting idea.

Cons.

Tonally inconsistencies.

Long.

The end.

2.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Adventures In Babysitting: One Hell Of A Bad Night

Adventures In Babysitting is a comedy adventure film directed Chris Columbus. The plot sees babysitter Chris (Elisabeth Shue), looking after three kids, however her night soon takes a turn for the extreme when she takes said kids to the city to pick up her friend. From there a series of things go wrong and things go from bad to worse; leading to a comedic misadventure.

Some much of this film rests on the performance given by Shue, if she was bad it would turn out like the god-awful Disney Channel remake, however her performance is in my opinion one of the best of the decade. Shue manages to do kind and compassionate well, you can tell her character cares about the kids, she also manages to be a lot of fun and give you a sense that she is enjoying every single second of being on screen. An example of this would be the blues singing scene, which is a masterpiece in and off itself, plus Shue is actually quite a good singer.

Fun is the word I would use to describe this film, a lot of films are funny or charming, but only a few are fun. This film almost seems like an expertly crafted series of skits that are each great and then stitched together to form one hell of a film. This can be seen with the often-hilarious pop culture themed homages, by favourite was The Warriors esque scene on the train.

Another thing I will give this film credit for is that the child actors are actually tolerable in this film. Normally when a film has child actors, hell even teens, they are annoying, they don’t perform well, they’re distracting, and you can understand why Hollywood gets 30-year olds to pretend to be teens in films. However, Brad (Keith Coogan), Daryl (Antony Rapp) and especially Sara (Maia Brewton), are not only good, but crucially loveable, you warm to them over the course of the film and by the end, you realise that you have enjoyed the time you have spent with these characters.

My one critique of the film would be that some of the humour feels dated and a little out of touch with our modern sensibilities, however on the sliding scale of 80’s offensiveness this film is pretty mild, so that shouldn’t put you off!

Overall, an 80’s classic for a good reason, effortlessly charming and watchable and a guaranteed good time for all!

Pros.

It is fun.

The homages and references.

Elisabeth Shue.

The child stars are actually tolerable.

Cons.

Some of the humour has aged poorly.

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Fantasy Island: Lucy Hale Redeemed?

Fantasy Island is a fantasy horror film directed by Jeff Wadlow. The plot sees a group of people go to an island which can supposedly make their greatest desires come to life, whether that is to settle down and have the life they always wanted, or to punish a high school bully. Surprisingly once people start getting what they want, things start going badly wrong; the island is far more sinister than it first appeared.

Before I put this film on I had incredibly low expectations, I had heard nothing but bad things about this film and was expecting the worst, however I was pleasantly surprised by this film. It wasn’t the best horror film I have ever seen, or the scariest, but it is a very interesting concept and it is surprisingly well executed.

The main red flag for me was the fact that Lucy Hale has a main role in this film, Hale for those of you that don’t know has been in such great films as Truth Or Dare and Fear Island, and for some unknown reason Blumhouse keep putting her in films even though she is terrible. She is one of the worst, least convincing actors working today, her acting ability is a joke. However, she is passably okay in this film. The twist ending when it is revealed that she is the evil force behind it all is well done, she is believable as someone who has been hung up over one thing her whole life and has become insane.

Even though she is passable in this film, her sub-par acting is highlighted by good performance given by Maggie Q and Michael Pena. Both are great, especially Pena, he plays the calculating evil mastermind well and he also plays the hero well. He manages to have the most charisma in the film easily. When the film ends, he is the only character you want to see more of.

Overall, this film is better than it has any right to be, and the film itself is intriguing and raises some great questions.

Pros.

A good premise.

Interesting questions.

Lucy Hale is actually okay.

Maggie Q and Michael Pena are good.

Cons.

It is not scary in any way.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping

Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping is a musical comedy mockumentary film directed by Akiva Schaffer and Jorma Taccone. The film follows the rise and fall of pop star Conner4Real (Andy Samberg), who use to be part of a successful boyband, before deciding to go solo after a disagreement with one of his former band mates. This film makes a joke out of the rise of musical biopics and documentary films as well as the artists themselves. Conner4Real could easily be Justin Bieber or Harry Styles.

This film is hilarious and made me laugh a number of times. I love The Lonely Island and this film is basically one long music video by them, I think Andy Samberg is one of the best current comedians and this film proves it through and through.

It is also surprisingly sweet, the moment when Connor and his friends reunite and smoke a bunch of weed can’t help but make you cheer. You end up caring about the characters so much you just want them all to be friends in the end; also when Connor’s pet dies it is heart-breaking. This film is surprisingly emotional and heartfelt at times.

The musical numbers in this film are also great, the songs are funny but also surprisingly good, if you like the music of the Lonely Island then you will love the songs in this film; they’re just as catchy and just as well made as their other songs.

There are also quite a lot of surprise cameos in this film that are actually great. As this film is done in the style of a mockumentary a lot of these cameos come in the form of famous celebrates talking to the camera about this made up band. Seal is probably the best of these cameos and his scene when he fights with the wolves if comedy gold.

Overall, this is one of the best comedy films I have seen in a while and though it doesn’t always make you laugh, it keeps a smile on your face throughout.

Pros.

It is hilarious.

It is surprisingly heartfelt.

The music is great.

Andy Samberg and the others are great.

The cameos are terrific as well.

Cons.

None

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Sixteen Candles: Sickening, Wrong And Showing The Worst Of Hollywood!

Sixteen Candles is a comedy romance film by John Hughes. The plot follows ignored looked down upon teenager Samantha (Molly Ringwald), who tries to get the boy of her dreams to see her for who she really is and fall in love with her. This is one of the Brat Pack films of the 1980’s.

Before I get into this review, I just want to say don’t watch this film! It promotes harmful stereotypes every chance it gets, it encourages date rape and makes a joke out of it, even going so far as to say that it is okay because she thought she enjoyed it the next morning, it is wrong. As some people have said to me it is dumb to compare an 80s film to modern standards and that apparently there is nothing wrong with a film joking about taboo subject matter, to those people I say how is rape of a drunk barely conscious girl something to joke about? It is not PC to say that the jokes are in bad taste to say the least, it is just the truth, they’re deeply offensive and if John Hughes was still alive, I think he would have apologised for this film.

The messages of this film are rancid, the main girl gets with her dream guy at the end of the film and we are supposed to be happy about this, why should we be? The boy of her dreams blatantly didn’t care about his previous girlfriend, not only is he abusive towards her, but he also allows a group of guys to rape her when she is drunk, which again is played for laughs. So with that in mind, Samantha getting with him at the end of the film, is a sad ending, because it means she will have a terrible time and a horrible life.

This is most certainly the worst of Hughes’ films, some of his other films have issues with them such a racism and stereotyping, but none are as bad or as harmful as this film. It is sickening and the fact that it ever got made makes me lose faith in humanity. I hated it!

Pros.

Not a one.

Cons.

It has horrible messages.

It makes light of abuse and rape.

It plays a rape scene for laughs.

It normalises rape culture.

It is racist through and through as well.

0/5

Reviewed by Luke

Coffee & Kareem: Give This Film The Chair

Coffee and Kareem is an action comedy directed by Michael Dowse. The plot sees disgraced, demoted police officer James Coffee (Ed Helms), become targeted by a recently escaped gangster as well as a corrupt police force. He goes on the run with his girlfriend’s teenage son Kareem (Terrence Little Gardenhigh): together they must stay alive and bring the guilty to justice.

This is a mess of a film, the tone of the film is family friendly, there is a large empathises placed on the relationship between Coffee and Kareem, however the humour of the film is r rated. The two don’t go together well if anything they clash horribly; it feels weirdly at war with itself.

The humour, or lack thereof, is proof of everything wrong with this film. The humour is not funny in anyway, it is painfully unfunny at best and cringey and awkward at worst. The worst offender here is Taraji P. Henson, she plays Kareem’s mother and Coffee’s girlfriend, her character is a stereotype and every time she is on screen, you’re begging her to just go away, as each line she delivers is worst than the last. The same can be said for Betty Gilpin who plays one of Coffee’s fellow police officers, she is so much more capable than this and deserves better than this.

This film tries at every turn to prove how relevant it is by constantly spouting current world events or politics. The film seems to think that this is funny, but it really isn’t, whenever the film excretes one of these lines it takes you out of the film and makes you cringe; this film will feel incredibly dated in just a few months.

More than anything else this film makes me lose any respect I ever had for Ed Helms. It is clear at this point that he is not even trying anymore, he is just taking lazy role after lazy role just for the money. He has long since stopped being funny and really should stop appearing in comedy films, as his presences indicates a bad film.

Overall, this film is the worst of the worst, it proves everything wrong with the Netflix greenlight process, and personally I think this is a career low for Ed Helms.

Pros.

It isn’t offensive.

Cons.

It is boring.

It tries too hard to be relevant.

It is not funny.

Ed Helms is terrible.

Why was this made?

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

Starry Eyes: What Is The Price Of Fame?

Starry Eyes is a horror drama film directed by Kevin Kolsch and Dennis Widmyer. The plot follows Sarah (Alex Essoe), a young actress who is presented with her big break, but in order to get it she must cross a line. The line transcends morals and decency, and instead leads straight to evil. Is sell her soul worth a life of fame and fortune?

This film is brutal, it pulls no punches at all, it shows the deeply out of whack power dynamic of Hollywood and the casting process; showing the depths of human depravity. It touches close to home in our modern climate as Sarah is asked to strip naked for the role and later, she is asked to perform sexual favours for it. However, it does not stop there, though that is already horrific, the movie executive force Sarah to give up her humanity and be demonically reborn.

Taking the supernatural elements out for a second, this film is an incredibly frightening social commentary on the film industry, the message of the film is a pertinent and relevant one and one that bares further reflection.

Essoe is great in the lead role, we really buy her mental and physical breakdown over the course of the movie. The hairpulling scenes are especially tragic and really help to highlight the characters desperation, showing just how much of a victim she is in all of this. The character was easy to warm to and was easily empathetic throughout.

My one critique of the film is that in parts it is slow. It is only on for slightly over an hour and a half; however it feels much longer, proof of pacing problems. The first and third, third of the film is fine, it is just the second act that is slow.

Overall, a frightening film for a number of reasons and one that I believe should be watched as it has a very timely message for all of us.

Pros.

The scares.

The subtext/ social commentary.

Alex Essoe.

The ending.

Cons.

The second act drags and is hard to watch.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke