Colony: 28 Days Too Late

Summary: a bioweapon is unleashed in a shopping centre turning people into hive mind zombies.

So this film was quite the disappointment, Train to Buscan is a good film and even it’s sequel had some merits but this film just feels flat. It feels like a tried rehash of so many other zombie films.

The pacing is also quite brutal, on at over 2 hours a lot of this is needless talking and plots about backstabbing. There are times when you just wish the film would hurry up, but it doesn’t.

Overall, a slog that shows that maybe zombies are played out.

2/5

Pros.

It’s got some good action

The hive mind aspect is interesting

Cons.

It’s badly paced

It feels done before

The ending

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Kiki’s Delivery Service: The Heart Of Ghibli

Summary: a young witch begins delivering parcels.

On the site we have covered a number of Ghibli films and whilst other writers have said what their favourites are, for this writer this is a timeless classic.

This is something so warming and wholesome about this film, there is no grand stakes or major villains, but there is a story about self belief and leaning to believe in yourself.

There is a slightly off note quality to the film which is in a lot of Ghibli films and the idea that there is something darker going on beyond the surface of the film, this harms the film. However the broader wholesome elements really help to balance it out.

The animation is of course beautiful and the European influence helps to give this film a distinct sense of identity.

Overall, a wonderful film and possibly one of Ghibli’s best.

4.5/5

Pros.

The charm and wholesomeness

The beautiful animation

The pacing

The music

The European influence

Cons.

The darker undercurrent

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I Want Your Sex: Laughing At Victims Of Sexual Abuse

Summary: Harvey Whinstein but a woman.

So whilst there are a few funny moments in the film, and the anti woke commentary is pretty on point there is a massive glaring issue with the film.

Olivia Wilde’s character is a rapist, she records the guy without his consent, pushes him into sexual situations he doesn’t want to be in and does sexual things to him he doesn’t want. Yet at the end of the film rather than having her go to prison, the victim is shown to still be pining for her.

Once again abuse against men is turned into a joke and not a serious problem. Ask yourself if this was a film about a man doing this to a woman would it either a get made or b not be immediately cancelled.

The film is also needlessly graphic and at times it will make you deeply uncomfortable so be prepared for that.

Overall, a film that laughs at male sexual abuse.

1/5

Pros.

The anti woke commentary

Cons.

Laughing at male abuse

Having Wilde’s character get away with it

The graphic nature of it

The pacing

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Tony: One of the Most Unlikable People Possibly Ever

Summary: Anthony Bourdain estate never should have signed off on this.

So Anthony lies to almost everyone he knows constantly, he up and abandons his family to worry for a whole summer, he lies repeatedly to sleep with a girl and he causes a fire that destroys his mentors business and in the end he considers, but doesn’t, robbing said mentor. If this was true to life then there is not much you can do about it, however if this is an artistic flourish then the estate should have never let this film be made.

That is the fundamental issue with this film, why would you care about anything that happens when the character is so darn unlikable, you don’t. That is the crux of an issue the film simply cannot recover from.

Overall, a film that falls apart as you hate the lead character.

2/5

Banderas

There is some fun to be had

Cons.

Anthony is just awful

You don’t go along for the journey as the character is so unlikeable

The ending feels too convenient

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Insidious Out of The Further: A Failure To Commit

Summary: a woman has the power to bring the demons and ghosts out of the further and is then targeted by said demons and ghosts.

This film had promise, were the old people scary no, was the new cult leader figure scary no, but the idea of setting up a return of all the previous baddies happening at the same time and essentially having the further spill out into our world and then having another few films battling it was good.

The appeal of having the film end with the heroes failing but escaping and then having Elise say from off screen I think you’re going to need some help, back in the human world, would have been great. Bringing back all the past protagonists to face down all the demons and ghosts now in the human world would have set up something epic.

Yet it just ends and ties everything up and all the ghosts and demons get trapped back in the further the end. How utterly disappointing.

This film squanders any promise it had.

Overall, a disappointment.

2.5/5

Pros.

It’s watchable

It has some good ideas

It introduces an interesting new character

Cons.

The villains aren’t scary particularly when they show them to you

The ending is awful

It lacks vision

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Spa Weekend: Middle Age Definitely, Middle Of The Road Probably

Summary: a group of women go on a spa weekend.

The central issue with this film is that we have seen it before, a group of women who have let life takeover their friendship reconnect and achieve growth milestones. If you ignore the various male films that have had this premise, Bad Moms, Rough Night, Bridesmaid etc have all done variants of this sort of premise. As such nothing in this film feels very fresh.

Isla Fisher is probably the beating heart of this film and easily steals the show, her performance works on a number of levels and she easily out-classes the other performers with ease.

There are a few funny moments herein and a couple of laugh out loud ones but sadly they are too few and far between.

A comment on this film for its plot is, that it is starting to grow stale and trite that we can only explore the friendships of middle aged women through the lens of them being unhappy with their life, can we not see women in their prime happy and reconnecting. Likewise why in 2026 do we boil a woman down to one characteristic, we have a character here who is angry all the time and her journey is to stop being so angry that is incredibly simplistic and bad character work.

Overall, a film you have seen before

3/5.

It’s comfort viewing

It has a few funny moments

Fisher is great

Cons.

It’s reductive and reinforces cliches

It is incredibly derivative

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Mutiny: An Alien World

Summary: Jason Statham is fighting human trafficking in a hard to define location, that doesn’t seem to operate like anywhere else on Earth.

This is a deeply forgettable action film that makes you think why bother, it follows on from other Statham films like A Working Man wherein Statham is working for and deeply loyal to an employer and then something negative happens to them and he has to sort it out.

What should have been a film about corporate espionage and Statham going after this rival syndicate that had this employer killed instead turned into him getting stuck on a boat and killing people on that instead.

Unlike his other recent ventures like the Beekeeper there is not even that much of a novelty gimmick to it, he could have killed people using nautical equipment and made sea puns as one liners. Sadly we get a lot of gun and knife kills so very generic.

For a cheap leading lady they draft back in Anabelle Wallis who hear manages to do and inconsistent American accent. Why she is in this film is an open question as she doesn’t really serve that much of a purpose, she doesn’t end up with Statham at the end and she doesn’t do all that much action wise.

Overall, not worth the price of admission

2/5

Pros.

A few good kills

The action choreography

Cons.

It’s generic

At times it’s boring

Wallis

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Coyote Vs Acme: The Looney Tunes Are Back

Summary: Wiley sues Acme for the millions of bad products they have sold him over time.

Live action animation projects often have a history of producing mixed results however, every now and then there is one that comes along that really works, Looney Tunes Back In Action was this, The Sonic movies too, and very much to its credit so is this film.

It finds a use for all of the most prominent Looney Tunes characters, except for Marvin the Martian, and Speedy Gonzales and creates a world and a story where they don’t feel forced in but like a natural part.

The story itself was very heart warming with the relationship between Will Forte’s lawyer character and Willie becoming the core of the film. The mystery of what Acme is doing is also interesting and quite deep philosophically for a kids film.

The only issue the film has is a structural issue, it makes little sense how the film wraps up, it would have made sense for Acme to be taken down during the congressional hearing. Not as the film does it immediately after Acme winning the case and only because Bugs leaked evidence, it would have made sense for Bugs to show up at the congressional hearing with the evidence as well and have Acme lose.

Overall, the best thing out of the Looney Tunes in years

4.5/5

Pros.

The world

The inter character relationships

Forte and Condor

The references and callbacks

It’s funny

Cons.

The structure of the ending

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The End Of Oak Street: We Got This Instead Of It Follows 2?

Summary: A street gets transported back in time.

This is the sort of film that Steven Speilberg would have made about ten years ago, when he was in his rough patch, which arguably he never got out of.

There is a lot of modernity here, the mother, Anne Hathaway wishes to leave her family and has to overcome that. She also showcases female rage by screaming at her son, not her daughter immediately after the death of his father. The death of the father, Ewan McGregor feels odd it doesn’t make a lot of narrative sense after he knocks out the dinosaur with a sledgehammer seemingly he turns his back and is then killed. However it would have made more sense with how the sense is framed if he was about to be saved in some way. Hathaway’s character later saves him in the future.

The tone is also off, this is clearly presented as a thriller yet there are forced in moments of levity, for example before his death McGregor and Hathway observe some dinosaur sex.

There are some good thrills and the film itself is serviceable if you just want to see a mindless blockbuster with dinosaurs. Even with the modernity it isn’t bad, it is just a genetic film with a number of eye role moments.

Overall, deeply mediocre.

2.5/5

Pros.

A few good thrills

It is serviceable

There are dinosaurs and they look okay

Cons.

The tone

Hathaway’s character

The ending is contrived

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I Love Boosters: Glamorising Theft

Summary: one Hollywood luvies take on capitalism.

Let’s get one thing clear stealing from shops doesn’t make you a modern day Robin Hood, it makes you a criminal. When you take things from shop it costs jobs and possibly even branches. You may not care as corporations are evil, but those workers still have to go home and tell their kids why they won’t eat tonight.

Boots Riley screams capitalism is evil whilst making a film, a hugely capitalist endeavour, the irony appears lost. Riley thinks encouraging audiences to steal from shops and some form of socialist fightback is a great message when it’s really not well thought through.

Of course race has to play into it as God forbid a black director make a film that is not about being black, the black experience, racism, systemic oppression, slavery or something along those lines.

The villain is a white woman who the film labels a fake feminist, she is rich and so not a comrade, also this film is a male director presenting women tearing down other women, as a purity test. There is something deeply messed up about a male director saying who is a proper feminist and who isn’t and then making it about money.

Once again we are shown at the box office that preaching doesn’t pay off, if Riley wants to go and steal from his local store that’s on him, but to waste millions of dollars trying to promote criminality is just a waste of everyone’s time and money.

Overall, morally bankrupt.

1/5

Pros.

Keke Palmer is great

Cons.

The characters are unlikable

The message is awful

It promotes criminality

It is a male director tearing down women

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