Aquaman 2: Isn’t The Ocean Polluted Enough Without Garbage Like This

Summary

Aquaman, Jason Momoa, has to have one last tiresome fight against the tide in a final farewell to the DCEU.

I liked seeing Jason Momoa being a dad and being softer and not the alpha male he often plays, I think it is important to see guys be a bit softer from time to time. Again did the film emasculate him I’d say not as he is quickly back to fighting and carrying on. In a sense this feels very much like Thor Ragnarök or even Love and Thunder, goofy softness mixed with some action hero moments just so you remember what you are watching.

The Amber Heard stuff was not dealt with as it should have been at WB with Emilia Clarke taking over the role and she is still here if only briefly, and if only as Elon threatened to sue allegedly. Her presence drags the film down but hey at least the film flopped so her acting career goes out on a low note, like pooing the bed.

Honestly it was hard to care about anything in this film or the world at large as you know the reboot is coming so it all has an air of what’s the point.

James Wann’s talents were wasted and he should have gone back to the Conjuring universe and left this turkey to die. It is sad to see the DCEU end on such a low note but they did it to themselves this wound was self-inflicted.

Overall, an average to poor superhero film in a year of bad superhero films.

2/5

Pros.

Jason Momoa has some charm

It is unintentionally funny

Cons.

Amber Heard is in it

It is too long

You just don’t care about it

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The Flash: Racing Your Way Out Of The Cinema

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Barry Allen, played by Ezra Miller, has to contend with the multiverse and a massive wave of fan hate.

Honestly, I wrote in an earlier post about the MCU carrying out acts of self-harm against itself but something has to be said here for the DCEU trying to reach out and top it. There was so so much going against this film, but WBD and the higher ups over there seemed oblivious to it, with all the real world controversy surrounding Miller they should have been recast long before this film was even close to shooting, but Warner Brothers doesn’t like or bother listening to their fans hence they got this massive flop.

Now outside of that the film itself isn’t good. My main issue with it, setting to one side Miller’s involvement, is the fact that the CGI looks badly unfinished. Now the director thought it was a good idea to come out and defend the film’s shockingly bad CGI and say it was a creative decision on his part, if that was the case he should have been fired along with Miller. The CGI isn’t just bad it is distractingly so, there can be a somewhat decent scene entirely derailed as in the corner of the shot there is a CGI effect that is looking Mummy Returns levels of bad and you just can’t look away.

Furthermore, I don’t like how the DCEU’s version of the flash is portrayed, I think the geeky loser sort of works in a large ensemble but when two of the lead characters are played the same and are the central focus it becomes irritating quickly, quirky only usually works in small doses.

Finally, it is worth mentioning that the cameos feel incredibly forced, I understand that maybe I am in the minority here in not liking the growing trend of multiverses but seeing them bring characters back from previous films or fan casts only really works for me if there is a plot reason for it. To give you an example of what I mean, No Way Home works because the coming together of the Spider-Men is required by the story and feels organic, whereas here I guess you can justify Michael Keaton’s returning Batman and Sasha Calle’s Supergirl but the section near the end where it is just as many different cameos as they can just feels forced. Moreover, the George Clooney appearance at the end is the most infuriating of the bunch, not only is it a come on really sort of moment but also it immediately made me think Christian Bale said no. Why bring back one of the most disliked Batmen, arguably on a par with Kilmer?

Overall, this is what WBD gets for ignoring fans, burying their head in the sand about backlash and real world controversy, and fundamentally misusing the multiverse concept.

1/5

Pros.

Micheal Keaton is having fun

Cons.

It waste Calle’s Supergirl

Miller should have been recast

The CGI

The aggressive and never justified running time

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Shazam Fury Of The Gods: Gal Gadot’s Best Performance Yet

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Billy Batson, played by Asher Angel, and his family do battle with evil Greek Gods.

So this film has got quite a mixed response from audiences but honestly I don’t think it is all that bad. Yes there are some obvious issues with the film such as the dialogue, which is nothing short of appalling at times, and of course the skittles product placement sequence, but there are also things to enjoy.

I liked the wider moral lesson of letting go that this film went for, I thought it was quite deep and inspired. Moreover, though this film didn’t tug on my heartstrings in the same way the first film did there was a number of moments wherein I found myself caring about these characters and feeling things.

The cast across the board was very good, Zachery Levi was a clear standout for praise as he once again manages to capture that childhood naivety whilst also seemingly like a capable superhero force. However, I would say he is outshined very, very surprisingly by Gal Gadot. Now you all know my thoughts on Gadot’s acting ability, she can’t, but here her brief scene at the end of the film is a complete scene stealer and quite probably the best of the film.

One thing I will note is that this film much like Ant-Man last month made me miss street level heroes and superhero films that weren’t so CGI heavy. There were a number of moments in this film that reminded me of the classic early Raimi Spider-Man films, which whilst having CGI in them, were no where near the total CGI overload of today’s superhero films and therein lies the problem, I was being reminded of these better less CGI heavy films whilst watching and that went against the film.

Overall, fun but certainly not a must see.

3/5

Pros.

It’s fun

A few good jokes

Gadot

Cons.

The dialogue

Too much CGI

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Batman and Robin: The Bat Suit Always Did Need Nipples

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The film that put nipples on the bat suit

Many people would tell you that this is the worst Batman film, and whilst it certainly isn’t good I don’t know if I would call it the worst, maybe I have softened on it with time, but I do think there is some campy charm to this film that after the decade + of overly serious Batman we have had I wouldn’t mind seeing again.

The performances admittedly are a mixed bag, with some being good, Uma Thurman as Poison Ivy, some passable, George Clooney as Batman and Alicia Silverstone as Batgirl, and some being terrible Chris O’ Donnell as Robin. Arnold Schwarzenegger as Mr Freeze has a special place in my heart as he is almost symbolic of the cocaine fuelled madness, which I imagine was the entire films production. His ice puns are a particular highlight.

I do think that this is one of the those films that reaches the point of being so bad it is good, and think if you view it as a love letter to the Adam West Batman series of yore then there is a lot this film gets right. However, if the only Batman for you is the incredibly dark brooding one then yes you probably won’t like this film.

Overall, not a good Batman film but certainly one that exists within the so bad it is good range.

2/5

Pros.

The ice puns

The campy silliness

Cons.

Some of the performances are woeful

It is one for way too long

It is mind-numbingly stupid

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Black Adam: Time To Put The DCEU Out Of It’s Misery

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Black Adam, played by Dwayne Johnson, escapes from his prison to then engage in deeply generic superhero shenanigans.

My my if this is the best the DCEU can produce then it really is in need of a reboot pronto.

This is the most generic superhero film that I have seen in a while, this film is so obsessed with giving us mind numbing CGI spectacles that it forgoes anything even barely resembling a story or character instead choosing to use an off-putting barrage of mostly badly done bang bang effects.

Johnson is playing himself, which is fine is you like that but not if you actually wanted Black Adam to have a personality beyond ‘oh look The Rock has super powers now.’ They try and give Black Adam somewhat of an upsetting backstory but the fact that the Rock can’t emote in any real way just kind of kills that off early on.

The Justice Society are annoying, I suppose this is what the film wants as it wants you to cheer on Black Adam as he beats them up. I thought that Doctor Fate, played by Pierce Brosnan, was easily the best of them and the film and then the film goes and kills him off. To do this and try and give him this big heroic send-off doesn’t work as we haven’t seen him in any other films and he has barely been introduced or developed here so his death has very little impact beyond angering fans of the character such as myself. I thought that they might bring him back in a post credits scene, but no they have to bring back Superman, played by Henry Cavil, again because God forbid they have the film be standalone.

Overall, weak and generic.

Pros.

A few cute moments between Atom Smasher and Cyclone

Some interesting comments on America as the world’s unwanted policeman

Cons.

The Rock is miscast and can’t emote or do anything beyond play himself

It is one big CGI mess

They brought in Doctor Fate only to kill him

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DC League Of Super-Pets: The Horniest Turtle You Will Ever Meet

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Krypto, voiced by Dwayne Johnson and a rag tag group of other pets must come together to save the Justice League after they are bested by Lex Luthor’s Guinea Pig, voiced by Kate McKinnon.

I think this film is very watchable and has a lot of good elements within it, do I think this film is going to set the world on fire? No, obviously not, but I think there are worse ways to spend a few hours.

With the exception of one character that I will get to later, most of the characters are fairly one note of forgettable, and their respective voice actors don’t do all that much to liven up proceedings. Natasha Lyonne does her best as a horny turtle and lands a few laughs but even she can’t save this film on a performance front. Hell even Keanu Reeves himself, the man who can single-handedly save any movie, as Batman isn’t enough. Those are words I never thought I would have to write.

The one exception to this however is Kevin Hart as Ace. The leader of the stray pack and a dog who was chucked out of his home after saving a little girl from falling down the stairs has a massive amount of depth and heart put into his character and Hart really delivers on a warm and tender yet also funny vocal performance. I think truly that this is Kevin Hart’s film and that he outshines all of his co-stars and forms a soon to be beloved animated character.

I also enjoyed all the reference in this film to other films such as the throwaway Warriors bit. Though most audiences of this film won’t have watched that, I found it to be funny. Moreover, on the whole I found myself laughing quite a few times during this film and do think the humour works quite well.

Overall, a watchable and somewhat entertaining animated film with one really strong character, sadly the rest of the characters aren’t quite on the mark.

Pros.

Hart

It is funny

The references

The ending

Cons.

The voice cast is mostly wasted

It has pacing issues

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Man Of Steel: Zack Snyder’s Moment Of Glory

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The Snyderverse is born.

Perhaps it is because of my age, or because I grew up with the Nolan Dark Knight trilogy, but this always was the definitive Superman tale to me. I have seen some of the other takes on the character from further back but still when I think who or what is Superman I think of this film.

Now I am not saying this film is perfect, Zack Snyder’s trademark lack of subtlety does trip the film up to a degree and the heavy handed Christ comparisons do become a little tedious after a while. However, I think Snyder gets the broad strokes right, he understands the character of Kal-El and what drives him and that is clear throughout. Furthermore, no one does spectacle quite like Zack Snyder and whether that is the destruction of Krypton or the Oil refinery sequence he really adds quite a nice visual style and grandeur to the film.

In addition the performances across the board are also fantastic. Henry Cavill is magnificent in the lead and frankly the fact Warner Brothers aren’t foaming at the mouth to have him back for a sequel just shows how bad the management over there is. Amy Adams and Michael Shannon are also marvellous and worthy of being highlighted for their standout performances as well.

Overall, this is the definitive cinematic take on Superman for me.

Pros.

Cavill

The spectacle

It does the character justice

The ending

Cons.

The writing lacks subtlety

The religious analogies becoming trying quickly

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Green Lantern: The Endless Horrors Of CGI

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The time when DC fundamentally screwed up on of their most popular characters.

This film has become a joke amongst fans of comic book cinema, and the jarring contrast between this and the contemporary Nolan Batman trilogy is blindly clear, where one is dark and gritty the other ops for poorly done CGI and a garish colour pallet and where one is good the other is this film. Pretty stark.

I think it is pretty clear throughout this film that Ryan Reynold’s doesn’t want to be there as his performance is lifeless, as such it is very hard to care about his character at all which leads to you switching off more and more whilst watching it. I also think having his whole costume be CGI was a terrible decision that becomes noticeably distracting as the film goes along.

In terms of how this film treats its characters and the wider DCEU lore, it cherry picks a few things and somewhat explains them, though not in a way a non-comic reading audience would understand. Worse yet it also manages to bastardise a lot of things and change characters and concepts from the comics for no real valid reason. These two things combined managed to alienate both the comic readers an the non-comic readers, well played DC.

Overall, boring, lifeless and not a fun time.

Pros.

It lead to some good memes

Cons.

The characters are awful

It dumps on wider DC lore

The CGI suit

It is incredibly dumb and generic

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The Marvel Problem: Making Movies For Little Kids

Written by Luke Barnes

In this piece I want to talk about a recurring issue/concern I am having with the MCU, though it can apply to other franchises also owned by Disney, and that is being a slave to the family friendly audience, being too afraid to have morally complex heroes or God forbid anti-heroes.

A lot of these feelings were stirred up within me by two things firstly the experience of watching Moon Knight the TV show versus reading Moon Knight in the comics, and also the recent Star Wars debacle that is The Book Of Boba Fett. In both examples the titular leads are toned down and in some areas entirely different from previous portrayals, rather than being the cold, tactical bounty hunter that we have seen in other Star Wars projects including The Mandalorian Boba is all soft and fluffy in his own show, hugging animals and having other people doing his killing. This is also seen in Moon Knight where the character is much less violent and far more incompetent, this is done to fit the tone and the comedy of the MCU.

However, the way Moon Knight has been presented on screen leaves me with a problem, if Moon Knight is not allowed to be gory or more mature then how the hell are characters like Deadpool, Punisher and Ghost Rider going to be done justice; the Ghost Rider of Agents Of Shield was an awful take on the character. Kevin Feige said that Moon Knight as a show wouldn’t pull back it would show us the finishing blow, however in practice this simply isn’t true. We have seen a bit of blood on the characters hands and have seen some people die, but most of the time this has been cut away from or outrightly ignored, which becomes a turn off after a while.

Though in almost every other way the DCEU is worse than the MCU, the one thing I will give them credit for is that they are not afraid to be more mature and adult with their content, instead of pumping out CGI trash for little kids. Think about Peacemaker earlier this year a series that did well and became beloved whilst also dealing with adult themes and violence, can you ever imagine something like that existing within the MCU? No, no it would not and that is the problem. Disney and Marvel want to have their films appeal to as many different markets and demographics as possible so why not try appealing to adults. I understand that Disney is a family company but that doesn’t mean all their content has to be made for little children. Things like the Mandalorian give me hope that maybe Disney can get away from this bloodless family friendly approach but I am not too optimistic.

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The Batman: Trying Desperately To Replicate Nolan

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A new emotional Batman, played by Robert Pattinson, is born. Is this Nolan? Not quite.

I will admit I liked this film more than I thought I was going to based on the trailers, there are a number of things that work here and a few major things that don’t, but to the positive first.

Jeffery Wright, Zoe Kravitz and Paul Dano are all terrific. Wright and Kravitz totally make the characters of Gordon and Kyle their own to such an extent that you can’t think about anyone else in the role. Yes, I do think these may become the definitive versions of these characters. Moreover, Dano is magnetic as Riddler and really makes the character come alive in a threatening, unstable way that has never been done on the big screen before, Dano’s Riddler is easily the star of the show.

Another positive is the world. This Gotham City feels very comics accurate; the deprivation and the despair are clear to see and inform the wider narrative of the film. Reeves very accurately captures the world of Gotham as it appears in the comics.

Now onto my issues with the film.

This film really suffers pacing wise, I did say when it was announced that the film was going to be on for close to 3 hours that it was going to be an issue and I was proven quite right. After a while the film starts to drag and even becomes boring, this obviously hurts it tremendously.

Additionally, the film is clearly trying very hard to mimic Nolan’s Dark Knight trilogy and as such goes hard with the uber realism and grit. However, unlike Nolan’s films this really doesn’t land and comes across as silly, baffling or simply not as intended. Examples of what I am talking about can be seen as Batman rarely talks to people instead he just stairs, this might have seemed like a cool idea but doesn’t work, moreover, whenever Batman walks anywhere he does it so slowly that anyone could easily just run away, a lot of the time it is not even slow motion he is just barely strolling along. Though Reeves thinks this makes for an intense on-screen presence it actually instead becomes a recurring joke.

Lastly, the emo hot topic Batman played by Robert Pattinson certainly won’t be to everyone’s taste, he wears copious amounts of eye makeup and acts like an angsty teen which at times does become grating, some of the lines are incredibly on the nose in this regard. Furthermore, I don’t think anyone will be coming away from this film saying what a great actor Pattinson is as he is really quite monotone throughout.

Overall, on the better side of fine, but not approaching truly good.

Pros.

Wright

Kravitz

Dano

Cons.

Emo Batman

The pacing

It tries to hard to copy what Nolan did

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