Spider-Man Brand New Day: Spider-Man Is Depressed

Summary Jean Grey shows up for no reason and decides to act like a villain. Spider-Man pines over his girlfriend.

Let’s get one thing right off the bat as our article from a few days ago said putting Jean Grey into the MCU sans X-Men is dumb as hell. Jean does not behave like herself here, and her backstory around her missing sister etc would have fit very well into a gritty X-Men film but without the light hearted world of a Spider-Man film it really sticks out. If you removed her entirely from the plot and just had it be Spidey working with and then going up against the leader of Damage Control it would have been much better.

The arc they give Peter is probably the best of the MCU, he is broken as Peter but on top of the world as Spider-Man he has lost everyone and needs to learn to trust and let people in again. This is a serious and grown up Spider-Man, we wouldn’t be surprised if kids like this one a bit less as it’s far less about dances and curfews and far more about loneliness, sadness and trauma. Seeing Spider-Man at a low ebb is kind of what the character is all about though.

You’d argue that the supporting cast does a lot of the heavy lifting here, John Bernthal is wonderful as the Punisher and you really see how much he cares about Peter. Yelana is funny and steals the scenes she isn’t in. However, the star of the side cast is arguably Zendaya. Now a number of the contributors to this magazine do not have a high opinion of Zendaya however, here she is the emotional core of the film. The fact that she can’t remember anything about Peter and that they don’t get back together in the end is incredibly mature and grown up.

There is a real sense of transition with this film not the least due to the changes happening to Peter with his Spider DNA but because it shifts from being a children’s film to something much more serious and grown up.

3.5/5

Pros.

Peter and MJ

Frank

The action and the go pro scenes

The humour

Cons.

The stuff with Jean Grey

The end credits tease isn’t good

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Cinema Issues: The Jean Grey Issue Spider-Man Brand New Day

At the time of writing we do not know if Jean Grey is in Spider-Man 4 and if it is Sadie Sink’s mysterious role however a lot of online speculation says that’s the case.

If it is then it is a terrible terrible decision for multiple reasons, let’s get into it.

1- It introduces her first as a villain: Jean Grey of the X-Men outside of her Phoenix possessions is a good guy, however, a lot of the rumours linking Grey to this film say that she is the villain pulling the strings behind the scenes. Why would she be doing this? It would be incredibly against the character and make very little sense.

2- It cheapens the idea of introducing the MCU’s own X-Men at a later date: we know the X-Men are coming however, the drips and drabs strategy we have been getting isn’t working. The idea was to have an X-Men film pretty immediately after Secret Wars when the universe will be reset why would it make sense to have just Jean Grey introduced early here rather than alongside her fellow X-Men there, it wouldn’t.

3- Spider-Man is still not able to hold his own film: under the MCU there seems to be an idea that you can’t just have a Spider-Man film, like Sony did for years. You need Iron Man, you need the multiverse, you need an X-Man. Repeatedly it seems like Peter cannot just have his own adventure and this film is already crowded with the likes of the Hulk and the Punisher showing up for some reason, now they have to put Jean Grey in as well, it’s just stupid. People want grounded, focused stories not cameo fests.

We long hoped that she is Firestar a different mutant character but one that would be a much more organic fit for the film, however, it would not explain the seeming mind control elements of the plot.

If it is Jean Grey it is a poorly thought through desperate move.

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Supergirl: Toxic Femininity

Summary: Superman’s cousin puts down the bottle, more like moves with it, and actually does something.

Maybe having your lead saying how men don’t own women’s bodies, when no one said they did, then insulting those offended on the grounds of their gender and religion, then changing the canon of a character to say she’s Bi and then finally saying the films better as it doesn’t centre men, isn’t a great way to market a film, as the terrible preview numbers show.

Kara is deeply unlikeable, she is very much the human embodiment of the damaged tattoo from the forehead of Jared Leto’s Joker. She drinks, she’s sad, she’s unpleasant to those around her, as God forbid she doesn’t take out her mental issues on other people. The message of this film is that that is okay behaviour as you can be good but not nice, which is a self defeating morally bankrupt principle. The film thinks this is showing her as a damaged character, with the journey being to show how she becomes more connected to people. However, the film tries to make her seem cool in her broken state glorifying her entitled and bratty behaviour.

Superman is in this, as more than just a target for dog urine, as Gunn and co really respect the character, herein he plays the concerned mother hen constantly checking in, usually to be met with derision or a well actually from Kara.

Of course the film likens being a bride to slavery, by having the villain literally kidnapping women and turning them not into sex slaves as is the case with most human trafficking, but rather brides. The message here is clear, marriage is bad and a prison for women. It is also entirely unoriginal as Mad Max Fury Road did a similar thing about ten years ago.

Lobo gets less screen time than you imagine and serves really to be red meat to throw to the male fans who Alcock has alienated so completely. He’s maybe on screen for a total of 5 minutes.

The focus on Krypto once again shows the weakness of the Gunn verse as it does not seem to be able to stand without having a cute dog to try and guilt butts into seats. This shows a weakness in storytelling. The actual journey of healing if you want to view it like that shows off the toxicity of Kara’s damaged personality and even when she does something good it quickly becomes self centered once again.

Overall, there is a reason that Clayface is having it’s premium formats reconsidered, this feels like edgy Tumblr fanfic from about 2 decades ago.

0.5/5

Pros.

It’s not a 3 hour slog

Cons.

Kara is unlikable

The journey feels incomplete by the end

You’ve seen it before

Lobo is barely in it

It feels like it’s for edgy girls circa 2009

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Cinema Issues: The Death Of The Superhero Genre

In this edition of Cinema Issues we will be talking about the death of the Superhero film.

As this year comes to a close it is important to remember that it is the first, non-covid year, in a long while without a superhero film that made over 800 million dollars at the worldwide box office. Neither DC nor Marvel could manage it despite releasing four films in cinemas this year.

This reflects a larger downward trend in the box office for the genre in Post-Endgame world, and possibly that audiences are done with superhero films. Yes I can hear you screeching into the void, but what about Doomsday, what about Spider-Man, what about Secret Wars. Yes likely all three of them will make over 800 million dollars you’d hope, however, a few large outliers doesn’t change the broader pattern. By and large superhero films are dying and there may be a few characters or big event films than can make money but for many characters this likely means relegation as they will now not be seen as likely earners. This means there could be a world wherein there are only one or two event style super hero films a year, or even every few years. This would be a massive contraction.

It is worth noting that even a supposed reboot, under new creative leadership has not been able to stop this problem for DC, so the Marvel plan to do something similar, sans the new leadership, post Secret Wars may not be the shot in the arm needed to keep things healthy. The fact that even a character like Superman could not be a solid earner for DC will have been noted and will be causing alarm.

The issue we have said before many times really is over saturation, a Marvel centric issue, and the production of a large number of bad films, which both are guilty off. Perhaps if superheroes went away for a few years and came back at the start of the next decade then maybe audiences appetite may have returned for everything rather than just the big films.

One thing is for sure though disrespecting your characters and your audience is not going to get people in the door. Something that James Gunn needs to be reminded off if that Supergirl trailer with Superman being pissed on is anything to go by. Arguably those with the creative and decision making power to save the superhero genre are the ones hastening its end.

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Superman: Soy Boy Savior

Summary

James Gunn’s Superman arrives, but is it enough to save the DCU.

So for the purpose of this review we’ll try and keep politics out of it, after Sean Gunn really tried to centre it around that, and we’ll leave off any references to Man Of Steel, with one quick addendum to say that adjusted for inflation Man Of Steel made more on its opening domestic weekend.

The film itself is pretty meh. I went into it with low expectations, the marketing had done a horrible job of making the film look stupid, goofy and far too present day, and whilst there are elements of that in this to be sure I think the film managed to exceed by rock bottom expectations.

There were a few good Superman comic esque moments mainly in the third act that made me smile, and a number of funny lines. However, Superman is not the Guardians of The Galaxy and the humour quickly becomes clawing. There are perfectly good scenes that could stand on their own, but then they’ll force in a joke to make you retch a little bit and ruin the scene.

Moreover, the weakening of Superman is a little too on the nose for me. Previous Superman films have kept him macho and powerful whilst also showing his good nature and down to earth personality, look at Smallville. However, here they go out of their way to make him more effeminate and soft, whilst this could be argued to just be how modern Hollywood views masculinity, or an attempt to make him more sympathetic during the sequence where he is basically cancelled is unclear, but it does become noticeable for all the wrong reasons, including but not limited to the use of therapy speak.

The final thing to note is that this is a James Gunn vanity project of that you can have no doubt, and whilst I like him as a director I do think it gets a bit irritating as the film progresses. We already know Krypto was based off Gunn’s own dog, and that his wife and brother are in the film, but then when you look at the cast you see that it is stacked with Gunn’s personal friends as well as the aforementioned cancelling storyline being reflective of Gunn’s own experiences to a degree. When you think about this in totality it starts to become a bit sickening.

Overall, fairly mid-range.

2.5/5

Pros.

A few good moments

The third act is better than the other two

It world builds

Cons.

Clarke and Lois

They make Superman weak

How this is a Gunn vanity project

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Fantastic Four First Steps: Worse Than The Trank Version?

Summary

The Fantastic Four take their first steps into the MCU but it is more like a crawl.

Of the great war between Marvel and DC this summer I would say that even though both sides produced bad offerings, this was the losing side. By the skin of their teeth Superman won.

Whilst Superman has elements that are straight up bad, yes I am looking at you Jor-El, the Fantastic Four feels boring and badly paced. The first act which features a lot of family time placed in the film to establish who the Fantastic Four are, feels like filler as the film is trying to stretch out time before Galactus, Ralph Ineson, and Shalla-Ball, Julia Garner, show up. During this opening act we don’t get much focus on the groups origins beyond a few lines of dialogue and a demonstration of each’s power, the film assumes you know who they are and know the story, which goes against Feige’s claim of it not being homework. The montage tv style way the film opens is jarring and a bad creative choice as well.

This is not to do with the opening act but a broader concern, the Sixties aesthetic, quickly becomes irritating over the course of the film, the time period itself plays in very little it is purely an aesthetic choice, especially as the Fantastic Four themselves have advanced tech. If that level of shallow period choice appeals to you then you may enjoy this yet.

As for the characters, I was wrong, Joesph Quinn is a good Johnny, he is not the ladies man that Chris Evans was two decades ago, but he is still charming and fun, and Ben, Eben Moss-Bachrach is the heart of the film. You have to separate the fact that Moss-Bachrach hates Israel, yes I know he has Jewish roots, particularly when Ben’s Judaism is a big part of the character. Ineson as ever is a giant cast in a small role, he manages to make Galactus menacing and threatening in the way he should always have been presented. Then you get to Shalla-Ball, they said there was no issue with her being Galactus’ Herald over Norrin Radd as there was a comics history of it, however, they rewrite her entire comics origins so that doesn’t hold much weight. She also has a Rose Tico moment wherein she takes away from Johnny’s heroic sacrifice. However, that aside the character does feel more human and grow on you over the course of the film and has far more range emotionally than Sue, Vanessa Kirby, but we are getting there. Reed, Pedro Pascal, is a shell of former incarnations, he is shown as an anxious geek, who would rather cry than take charge. At no point does Reed lead the team and any claim to the contrary is just a lie. Sue is by far and away the worst character in the film for several reasons, firstly you have the fact that she is simply characterised as a mother and from the moment she is pregnant that is what defines her, this is one dimensional. Secondly you have her personality, which whilst in keeping with pregnant women, she is hormonal, just comes across as though she is in a constant state of Greta Thunberg levels of how dare you. She is a girl boss and is actively abusive towards her family, there is a scene in which she says to Reed him being himself is a problem. If you or anyone you know is in a relationship where one partner says to the other that them being themselves is the problem and that they have to be something else then they need to leave that relationship. There is also no chemistry at all between Kibry and Pascal

Moreover, the birthing scene and no I am not talking about when Sue gives birth to Franklin but rather the final fight with Galactus wherein Sue manages to defeat him by herself whilst making pregnancy noises, not only is this an I am woman here me roar girl boss moment, as the male characters are all effectively useless, but also incredibly cringe.

Two final points to hit home before we tie this up. The CGI on baby Franklin, is noticeably bad and distracting and secondly this film does not tie into the MCU in any meaningful way, there are moments wherein you go ah this is where they are going to show up in the MCU but no. They do not enter into the MCU at any point. Moreover, the post credits scene is a jangling keys moment wherein Doctor Doom, Robert Downey Jr, takes baby Franklin. It is not an epic moment but rather a short scene of Sue reacting, there is no dialogue from Doom, the costume doesn’t look great, and there is no broader implications imparted. Fans of the comics will know that Doom is going to use Franklin in the same way he used Owen Reece in Hickman’s run however normies will be left going who’s that and why is he taking the baby.

Overall, as I sit here and write this I begin to see more and more flaws with the film.

1.5/5

Pros.

Ben and Johnny are charming

Shalla-Ball grows on you and Galactus is cool

Cons.

The style and aesthetic is hollow

Sue is one dimensional and abusive

Reed is weak and barely has anything to do

The post credits scene is a letdown, and does not build hype for Doomsday

The film does not bring the FF into the MCU

The CGI is quite bad in places

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Thunderbolts: The Future Of The MCU

Summary

The New Avengers are formed.

So going into this film I expected it to be bad, I had heard things about the film I did not like beforehand and I thought it would be on the same level as Brave New World.

However, after watching it I found it to be quite a delightful film with a similar feel to the Guardians films. Would I say something so dumb as to say the MCU is back? No because one good film does not fix the countless other problems the franchises is currently facing.

A lot of the reviews mention mental health and how deep this film is, well for me this is mixed. One the one hand the way the film treats Bob/Sentries, Lewis Pullman, mental health with him having a split personality as a superhero was well done, as was the depiction of domestic abuse we see when we see his childhood it was much better done than in Moon Knight for example. However, on the other hand, the film is not all that deep in its commentary on mental health, as Yelena’s, Florence Pugh, journey of needing to atone for what she has done was never fully explored beyond just being a loneliness issue. Moreover, there is a sequence near the end of the film wherein the whole team goes into the Void, the evil form of Sentry’s mind, and we don’t explore the trauma of the other team members. I think it would have been worth the time to have looked into Walker’s, Wyatt Russell, trauma of losing his wife and kids a bit more as it would have helped round the character, but alas it was a missed opportunity.

Outside of mental health talk I think the film does a lot to balance the heroic and the goofy, with each character having both. Red Guardian, David Harbour, is often the comedic relief but the film also gives him a number of great fatherly speeches wherein you can see how much he cares about Yelena and he risks his life constantly to help her. Walker too has a number of heroic moments such as shielding the team from bullets during the Limo escape scene. This is important as the MCU wants you to hate Walker after the events of Falcon and the Winter Soldier but this film does a lot to show him as a hero and to show he is not a villain. If the film was being reductive and simply wanted to show a lot of the male characters as sad pathetic losers for you to laugh at, as some have said, then they would not give them moments like this.

I would argue that Pugh is probably the least served member of the cast as whilst she is the focal point of the film, she is not really centre focus, with that being Bob, Bucky, Sebastian Stan, and the broader ensemble. Whilst I liked the father daughter scenes with Pugh’s character I thought how the film depicted her depression just felt like a cliché and had little depth to it. The scenes in which they talk about her first test are similarly repetitive rather than really pushing anything forward. I wouldn’t say any of this was due to Pugh’s performance rather the material she has been given.

This film shames Brave New World in that it takes its empathy ending and actually does it well. So for those of you who don’t know at the ending of Brave New World Falcon, Anthony Mackie, talks down Red Hulk, Harrison Ford, and defeats him through empathy and by appealing to the side of him that loves his daughter. This was terrible and makes little sense in the film, whereas here it makes sense why they need to go into the Void to get Bob back, they cannot beat Sentry in a fight, they try and get beaten, the only way they can win is to go into Bob’s mind and help him with his trauma, narratively it makes sense and works.

My main criticism of the film would be Val, Julia Louis Dreyfus, who is playing a cartoonish villain. She is being impeached and yet she thinks sending all her mercenaries to fight each other and then destroying bases linked to her doesn’t make her look evil, then you have how she treats her assistant and uses people. For a film about nuance she is not given anyway. Also the Trump or perhaps Tulsi Gabbard comparisons are incredibly on the nose and irritating.

Overall, a good Marvel film that feels like something you would have got pre-Endgame. Whilst not perfect it is a welcome step in the right direction.

4/5

Pros.

The tone

How it deals with Bob and his personalities

The team and the team dynamics

How it sets up things for later in the MCU

Cons.

Walker and Yelena could have done with more depth

Val is a horrible character and really should be written off at the earliest opportunity

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Madame Web: Sony Hates Spider-Man But Not As Much As They Hate Making Money

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Cassie Web, Dakota Johnson, learns that the greatest responsibility brings the greatest power, or some knock off trash like that.

Honestly was this film a joke? Is Tom Rothman so stupid, out of touch and delusional that he thinks this is what is studio should be making? This is why Sony is the butt of the joke to every comics fan.

I am going to obliterate this movie as it is what it deserves, but first to the pros, slim though they are. I actually liked Adam Scott as Ben Parker, and I thought Dakota Johnson was a likeable protagonist, that is it.

So the three other spider-women are barely even husks of characters, they are just bland character types. You could argue Sony included all these spider-women for one of two reasons, either they wanted them for the male gaze this is reflected by the table dancing scene, however, if this is the case they would have made their outfits more revealing. Or they wanted them in a diversity check box sort of way to add to the themes of female empowerment. The film tried to make itself the most empowering it could be but honestly it just comes off as a bunch of white male executives mind mapping the word girl power and then being like yes cats, loneliness and awkward people skills. Also you could call it false advertising that at no point do any of the spider-teens get powers but hey ho.

Then you have the awful product placement that shows that Sony does not care about the Spider-Man brand and will just whore it out for cash wherever they can. A supposed self-respecting studio has its villain killed as a giant Pepsi sign falls on him, it is just gross and it shows that they don’t care about the movie beyond them getting paid.

Then you have the villain, Tahar Rahim, who has all his lines dubbed over for some reason, and is stupidly over powered to such a point that it makes no sense he can’t easily kill them all. The character has no real motivation beyond he’s evil and scared of his dreams and so needs to kill some people, quality writing.

Moreover, the jungle spider-people are dumb, the effect of them coming down the trees like it is some sort of horror film is overused, and I have read many a Spider-Man comic book and I have never heard of these guys before I think they were made up for the film which makes them worse.

Oh and remember no one can say the name of Peter Parker because Sony doesn’t want to taint its good properties with this garbage.

Overall, one of the biggest misfires in comic book movie history.

1/5

Pros.

Andrew Scott and Dakota Johnson

Cons.

It is stupid and makes no sense

It actively ruins the Spider-Man mythology

The spider-teens are false advertising and shallow husks of characters devoid of anything resembling personality

The product placement

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Aquaman 2: Isn’t The Ocean Polluted Enough Without Garbage Like This

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Aquaman, Jason Momoa, has to have one last tiresome fight against the tide in a final farewell to the DCEU.

I liked seeing Jason Momoa being a dad and being softer and not the alpha male he often plays, I think it is important to see guys be a bit softer from time to time. Again did the film emasculate him I’d say not as he is quickly back to fighting and carrying on. In a sense this feels very much like Thor Ragnarök or even Love and Thunder, goofy softness mixed with some action hero moments just so you remember what you are watching.

The Amber Heard stuff was not dealt with as it should have been at WB with Emilia Clarke taking over the role and she is still here if only briefly, and if only as Elon threatened to sue allegedly. Her presence drags the film down but hey at least the film flopped so her acting career goes out on a low note, like pooing the bed.

Honestly it was hard to care about anything in this film or the world at large as you know the reboot is coming so it all has an air of what’s the point.

James Wann’s talents were wasted and he should have gone back to the Conjuring universe and left this turkey to die. It is sad to see the DCEU end on such a low note but they did it to themselves this wound was self-inflicted.

Overall, an average to poor superhero film in a year of bad superhero films.

2/5

Pros.

Jason Momoa has some charm

It is unintentionally funny

Cons.

Amber Heard is in it

It is too long

You just don’t care about it

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The Marvels: Make Iman Vellani The Face Of The MCU And Do It Now

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Captain Marvel, Brie Larson, is back and this time she is more human than before. I am going to catch some hate for this one.

I am one of the few people who loved this film, genuinely I think its great. Now I am not arguing its perfect there are a couple of major things wrong with it, but for the most part it is a lot of fun, the leads have great chemistry together, it is funny and I actually liked the singing world thing.

I think this film did a lot to make Larson’s character a lot more fun and interesting, I warmed to her more here than I did in the first film. I think however, that a big part of what made Larson more likeable and the film as a whole better was Kamala Khan, Iman Vellani, who was a scene stealer here and easily the best part of the whole film. Vellani’s energy is infectious and she is the most compelling member of the team by a country mile. Sadly, the third member of the team who’s name escapes me, the one from Wandavision, is but boring they do nothing with her until the very end and for the rest of the time she is just kind of there.

The singing world won’t be for everyone and I actually liked it for two reasons, firstly Brie Larson is a good singer, and secondly I thought again it made the character more fun and whacky after being overly serious in the first film to the point of being emotionless. Before a range of angry comments come in think about this Tony and Steve in their films made jokes they weren’t stoic all the way throughout, but they did that with Larson in the first film. I didn’t really think the whole oh she is secretly married thing was a good set up for the musical number however and I thought that was a needless detour.

My final point for the film is that the villain was weak as hell, Zawe Ashton, is a good actor and is capable of so much more than this. I don’t blame her though I think an actor is only ever as good as the director and the writer, but still there character was so generic she fades from memory before even the first post credits scene rolls around, which by the way is an odd way to introduce the X-Men but hey.

Overall, maybe Marvel’s best film of last year not perfect but better than Antman and everything they put out on Disney +

4.5/5

Pros.

Brie Larson

Iman Vellani

It is a lot of fun

It is a better sequel in nearly every way

Cons.

The third team member and villain are both incredibly forgettable

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