The Sea Beast: An Underwater How To Train Your Dragon

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

In a world of Hunters and Sea Beasts, the two sides finally realise that the real evil in the world are corrupt monarchies that pit them against each other.

I thought that this was one of the best Netflix originals that I have seen in some time. I enjoyed the world and the characters tremendously and thought that it had a lot to say about life and about the current state of our own world. I also enjoyed the fact that every time Karl Urban spoke he reminded me of his character from The Boys, the accents are basically the same, that gave me some happy flashbacks.

The film as a whole has a strong How To Train Your Dragon’s vibe, with some plot elements feeling almost beat for beat the same. However, where in other instances I would lambast this film for its lack of creativity and originality I actually like the elements here on display despite the fact they are so obviously copied over. I thought that the sea beast that we meet are all quite memorable and cute looking; Netflix really should start selling more merch from their films and shows.

My issues with the film mainly come from a pacing perspective as I think this film could do with being about twenty minutes shorter as there is a lot of needless bloat wherein not much happens around the second act, which could be removed to the film’s betterment.

Overall, fun but not perfect.

Pros.

The ending

The sea beasts themselves

It is a lot of fun

Urban

Cons.

The pacing

It is very familiar

It doesn’t service all its characters and a lot of them remain undeveloped

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The Princess: Disney This Is Not

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A princess, played by Joey King, must overcome vast waves of invaders in her families castle in order to save them from certain death and to drive out a man, played by Dominic Cooper, who has become obsessed with her and launched a takeover to try and force her to marry him.

I remember when I saw the trailer for this film I thought it looked pretty naff, the plot didn’t look like anything new and the feminist message looked very been there done that, a princess who likes fighting as is far removed from the Disney ideal is nothing new, and whilst both of these things are true the film still manages to be quite enjoyable.

No, the film isn’t going to win any awards for its writing and its message is incredibly on the nose, but the fight scenes are very well done, to the point of being impressively so, and Joey King manages to give a hell of a performance and these two things quite outweigh the bad writing.

Moreover, I like how the film does not waste time and instead opens straight away on the action. In wider terms of pacing I think this film is pretty tight, at no point whilst watching did I feel bored or like a scene was dragging on for too long and for the most part I solidly enjoyed my time with it.

Overall, the trailers for this film really don’t do it justice, though it is not going to set the world on fire it is a good time.

Pros.

It is a lot of fun’

King

The action

The ending

Cons.

It is very on the nose

It is incredibly predictable

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The Simpsons Movie: The Ending We Deserved?

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The Simpson family are forced out of Springfield after seemingly dooming it, however they of course come together to try and save the town.

I remember watching this in the cinema when it first came out and it was a huge deal. I enjoyed it a lot then, but my question was would it hold up now after all these years. In short it does, there are one or two lazy elements here and there but for the most part a lot of what made and makes, yes I like modern Simpsons, so great is fully on display here.

I think the best thing about this film is how far they push the concept. They go all out in a way that they simply couldn’t do on an episode of the show or even in a two-parter, and show us things we have never seen before in the show. When you compare this to other series that have also translated to the big screen like the Bob’s Burgers movie you see the difference between what is theatrical and what isn’t.

Moreover, the Simpson family and their various dynamics are kept at the heart of this film and I truly think that is why it is as good as it is. Rather than try and spread its focus amongst a bunch of supporting character, as newer episodes do, this film keeps the focus on the family and that really helps it to thrive. I particularly think the Homer, voiced by Dan Castellaneta, and Bart, voiced by Nancy Cartwright, storyline is quite interesting as it advances the relationship between the two characters into an area we haven’t seen them before where Bart seemingly truly abandons Homer.

My only real criticism of this film is that the writing is a little obvious and crucially convenient. Whereas early seasons of the show would go out of there way to be clever and even subversive, everything that happens here is incredibly signposted and obvious and as such the surprise is lacking.

Overall, a strong ending for a show that would go on for many more seasons after it.

Pros.

The Homer/Bart storyline

The scope

The comedy

It is very quotable

Cons.

The writing is a little predictable and dumb

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Brian And Charles: Build Your Friends

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A lonely but gifted man, played by David Earl, builds a robot, voiced by Chris Hayward, and a friendship between the two blossoms.

I think this film really strikes a chord with those of us out there who have known loneliness, isolation or torment by our peers, in many ways it is a beautiful tale about friendship and standing up for yourself. It truly is hard to not feel something whilst watching this film.

However, therein lies the problem with it for me. Perhaps somewhat paradoxically this film made me care about Brian and Charles so much that during the third act where it looked like Charles was going to be burnt alive I could barely get through it. The film bonds you to these characters in such a way that when they face harm it almost feels traumatic.

I wouldn’t view this film as a comedy, so in that respect I would say temper your expectations, but it does have feel good elements and an ending that makes you want to cheer. Ultimately this film takes you on an emotional rollercoaster, but laughter isn’t on the track.

Overall, a touching film that at times succeeds a little bit too much.

Pros.

You really care about the characters

It has a great ending

The performances are all top notch

Cons.

Seeing bad things befall Charles almost feels a little traumatic and that can be hard to watch

It has pacing issues

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Minions The Rise Of Gru: A Surprising Good Time

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Telling the tale of Gru’s early life, as he tries to become a member of the Vicious Six.

Full disclosure I did not like the first Minions film, so I went into this with incredibly low expectations, but found myself pleasantly surprised. To my shock the film was actually quite funny, it had me laughing on several occasions, and I also thought it was mostly sweet throughout as well, I liked the emotional core of the story.

Moreover, the more gimmicky and irritating elements of Illumination’s style, the dumb jokes and over abuse of license music, didn’t strike me as being so egregious here though they did still show up on occasion.

The minions themselves each had their own moments to shine but I would say the real stand out was Steve Carell’s performance as Gru. Carell really is the heart and soul of this franchise and I would say that without him this film wouldn’t have worked even half as well, I think seeing his character at this younger stage really allows for us to explore a different side to him and see him in a whole new light.

Overall, a welcome treat that is both funny and sweet.

Pros.

Carell

The ending

The minions themselves, especially when they get powered up

The humour and the emotion

Cons.

A few little irritating nostalgia baiting moments

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Elvis: Tom Hank’s Worst Performance

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

An Elvis biopic featuring a career worst performance from Tom Hanks.

Who thought Tom Hanks character here was a good idea? Whoever that person is should be fired, being subjected to Hanks’ performance here is nothing short of cruel and unusual. From the horrible over the top accent, that moves around constantly, to the awful facial prosthetics that become hilariously distracting at times, Hanks is destined for a Razzie nomination for this one.

Moreover, though I enjoy Baz Luhrmann’s style to a degree it is too much here. With the awful pacing and frequent needless asides this reeks to me of a director who was given carte blanche over proceedings and decided to fully embrace their style to the detriment of the film more widely, sometimes it is good to reign in a director. Truly, I think the most egregious thing about this film is its runtime, which is frankly absurdly long.

On a more positive note, this film does include all of the classic Elvis numbers that many of you will be coming to this film to hear, and in that respect you will be happy for the film’s obscene runtime as it gives you a chance to hear more of them and even to hear some totally needless remixes of them as well.

In addition Austin Butler gives one hell of a performance and manages to salvage this film from being a total dumpster fire fueled on by an unchecked director. Butler really becomes lost in the role and by the midpoint in the film you almost entirely forget that he isn’t Elvis himself. To further push that point home, up against Hanks’ ghastly performance Butler looks like he should be winning next year’s Oscar.

Overall, a good time if you like Elvis, otherwise fairly mixed.

Pros.

Butler

You get to here all your old favourites

Quite a detailed look into the life of Elvis

Cons.

Hanks’ performance and everything about his character

The runtime

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Falling Inn Love: A Good Way To Kill Off Your Remaining Brain Cells

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A symbolic representation of Netflix failing in the most basic concept of quality over quantity.

Honestly, if I were not reviewing this film I would have turned it off at the twenty minute mark. It was more than a slog to get through and at times became actively annoying for me.

This film perfectly encapsulates the idea of the irritating entitled American abroad who thinks that it is okay to talk down to the locals and who is a baffled that they don’t have the latest technology that she is used to. Christina Millan plays the lead character as such a brat that you will find it hard to feel anything towards her other than contempt.

Moreover, the story structure is beyond basic and feels copied and pasted over from countless other Netflix romance films that do the exact same thing: with some slight variation. You know right from the offset where the film is going and it doesn’t surprise you in anyway.

In addition the usual toxic messages and creeping sexist undertones of the romantic comedy genre are here in spades, and again it makes the film even more unwatchable.

Overall, Netflix just makes trash now.

Pros.

You can dare your friends to try and sit through it, that might be some fun as long as you don’t have to watch it back.

Cons.

It is sexist

The lead is awful

It is generic

You can guess all the plot points at the start of the film.

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Thor Love And Thunder: Thor Gets Paternal

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Thor, played by Chris Hemsworth, is forced out of semi-retirement when Gorr The God Butcher, played by Christian Bale, goes on a killing spree. Along the way he runs into his old flame Jane Foster, played by Natalie Portman, who is now the Mighty Thor.

I have to say a lot of the early responses to this film that I saw were quite negative and so I went in with pretty low expectations, thinking to myself surely it can’t be worse than Dark World, however, in the end I found myself really enjoying the film, and think though it has a few minor issues it is on the whole a strong Marvel outing.

Straight off the bat I think this film really does some great character work with Thor, having him get the chance to see Jane again, then losing her, then having to raise a kid on his own- he goes on a journey. Some out there on the more incely sides of the culture war will say that Thor is humiliated and ruined, however, their toxic masculinity is showing. I think it is possible for Thor to be both a badass action hero, which this film shows off on multiple occasions, as well as a sensitive guy who can be open and also poke fun at himself. At no point did I find he was being dominated or out done by the female characters and I think such takes usually arise from those we insecure masculinities themselves.

I thought the supporting cast all had their moments to shine especially Port, Thompson and Waititi, the latter especially had a lot of great lines. However, I will say that I would have liked Sif, played by Jamie Alexander, who makes a big return here, to have been given more to do. I think for me the stand out performance of the whole film was Russell Crowe as Zeus who instantly became my favourite character of the picture.

In terms of the humour, which has proven quite divisive, I think it is peak Waititi and if you enjoy his style of comedy, which I do, you will find it funny and if you don’t you won’t. Personally I found this film had me laughing more often than not. Moreover, again in rebuke to some of the criticism I have seen out there about the humour of this film, I found that it didn’t take away from the dramatic moments at all, and I think the film has a very strong emotional core. If you aren’t tearing up as Jane dies in Thor’s arms then I question whether you are even human.

Finally onto the few minor things I didn’t like about the film. The CGI in the post credits scene with Hercules, played by Brett Goldstein, was quite poor and possibly on a par with the Pip scene from Eternals. Moreover, the film’s pacing was quite noticeably off and the film as a whole felt very rushed with a lot of big things happening in a short space of time without much room for you to take them in. In addition, Christian Bale’s Gorr performance was all over the place, sometimes being quite frightening and sullen and other times being almost camp, this mismatch created quite a jarring viewing experience. Lastly the ‘Lady Thor’ line was horribly cringe and felt far too meta and on the nose, it really didn’t need to be included.

Overall, though it is not perfect there is a lot to like about this film.

Pros.

Thor’s journey

The ending

Zeus

The supporting cast all get their time to shine

Cons.

The pacing

The ‘Lady Thor’ line

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Bride Wars: This Wouldn’t Get Made Today, Be Thankful For That

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Rather than have a civil conversation about their thoughts, feelings and concerns, two women, played by Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway, are forced into a showdown for a frankly out of date and overly thought of practice, marriage. The sexism in Hollywood is fairly rampant in this one.

The whole premise of this film from having both girls spend their whole lives dreaming of getting married to having to tear each other down just to get the better big day is simply toxic. Some may say that I am overly sensitive, but I thought the idea that all women really want to do is get married died years ago and that we have all moved on to a more progressive dawn, was I wrong?

Hudson and Hathaway are fine, but neither of them are giving the performances of their career and both are fairly easily forgotten about. I feel like because the writer of this film knew it was a romantic comedy they thought that they could peddle out any old tripe and people would just gobble it up, as that is the only explanation I can think of for why the two leads are written as deeply out of date cliches.

Moreover, the ending sentiment feels predictable and like a bygone conclusion from the outset. There is nothing that shocks you or presents even the most simplistic of challenges, it is all incredibly generic.

Furthermore, this film features Chris Pratt which for me just adds to its list of issues, but some people like him so I won’t be too critical of that.

Overall, a widely sexist out of time romantic comedy.

Pros.

It is short

Cons.

It is sexist

It is generic

Neither of the leads are particularly good

Chris Pratt is his ever unlikeable self and that become distracting after a while

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Hairspray: John Travolta’s Finest Hour

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of teens sing and dance to protest segregation.

This review might be controversial to some people, as in some circles Hairspray is a beloved classic up there with Grease, however I think this is far from true and that by having far too much on its plate this film becomes a mess.

Overstretching can be seen as the film does not just try and be a fun breezy musical, but also a socially conscious narrative that brings in topics such as racism and sizeism. The film struggles to develop all three of these aspects simultaneously and as such often neglects one or the other of them. Moreover, within the film’s first act there is a an incredibly awkward transitionary period where these racial themes are injected into the film and it diverts from being simply a silly musical, as the film takes this turn the whole narrative slows down and it feels as though the film you are watching has ended and a new one begun.

The songs aren’t anything special either, for the most part it just feels like you could be watching any musical and if you close your eyes it could even be Highschool Musical. They did very little for me.

Overall, seeing John Travolta sing and dance in a fat suit made it worth my time.

Pros.

It was watchable

Travolta

Cons.

The songs aren’t very good

The tone is inconsistent

It’s message is generic and has been said before

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