Final Destination: Don’t Fear The Reaper

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of teens are saved from a grizzly death after one of their number has a vison that forewarns of the events to come, however, once safe death comes to claim each of them in a new design.

I grew up with this series, and though they are a little repetitive, it is the same gimmick every time, they are still some of my favourite horror films. I think this is in part due to the fact they never show death, yes I know some people view Tony Todd’s character as being a physical embodiment but I don’t, and that they keep things mysterious. I think doing this leads to a really creepy atmosphere through not just this film but all of them.

I also think that this first film is boosted in many ways by strong performances from Devon Sawa, it is criminal that he never came back for any of the other films in the series in a major way, Ali Larter and the always incredibly Tony Todd. Todd not only shines here but becomes a favourite of mine throughout the series.

The deaths here are not as inventive or as silly and goofy as some in later entries, but that isn’t a bad thing wholly, I liked the deaths here they felt quite real and grounded, though maybe not the teachers,

Overall, a very strong horror film that I would argue is a classic.

Pros.

The atmosphere

The scares

Todd, Larter and Sawa

The deaths

The ending

Cons.

A little repetitive

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Child’s Play: Don’t Get Your Kid A Doll And You Might Just Be Saving Their Life

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Little Andy Barclay, played by Alex Vincent, gets a Good Guy doll called Chucky, voiced by Brad Dourif, for his birthday little does he know that it will change his life forever.

Though I do enjoy the more light hearted fare that we got as the Child’s Play franchise progressed I have to say that I think the more serious approach of this film first worked well, maybe even better. I liked the wider focus on Chucky/Charles Lee Ray as an evil serial killer, who isn’t cracking jokes all the time, as well as the more serious look at voodoo magic.

I liked the plot of the film even if it does feel a little samey now as all other possessed or evil doll films take a similar line, I thought that it was engaging and I liked that most of the characters in the film just thought Andy was lying and tried to lock him away, it is more realistic.

Overall, it still holds up well though it may seem a little familiar to modern audiences.

Pros.

Dourif

A more serious tone

It has some good scares

The fact people don’t believe Andy

Cons.

It feels a little familiar and worn watching it in modern times

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Scarlett: Cool Kids Don’t Do Drugs

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Just say no. One morning Scarlett, played by Kristin Jaap, awakens to find her wild cocaine usage the nice before has left her far worse off and in a heap of trouble.

I do think this film has an important message, drug use might seem cool it may be what all of your friends are doing but it also comes at a cost, addictions ruin lives and all sorts of mistakes can and are made when people are high as Scarlett finds out here. I think it is hard to watch this film and not think about just how bad drugs can be and how they can mess up your life so in that this film is doing a public service as by making you aware it is saving lives.

I thought the performances across the board were strong, though I would have to single out Jaap for extra praise as her acting worked on multiple different levels and really brought a lot of nuance and thought to the character. She really brought the tired and often very cliched, within media, idea of the addict into a new light here.

In addition this film keeps a nice tidy pace, being able to communicate its message and have an impact all within a very short amount of time, if only more films could be like this.

Overall, an important film with a good message.

Pros.

The message

The pacing

Jaap

The ending

Cons.

I think some of the side characters could have done with a little more development

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Dahmer-Monster, The Jeffery Dahmer Story: Netflix Should Be Ashamed And The Victims Families Should Sue

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A dramatic retelling of the life and crimes of Jeffery Dahmer, played by Evan Peters.

I think this series would have been a lot better if Ryan Murphy hadn’t been involved in it. Murphy brings his trademark soft core porn feel to this series and we have a lot of scenes of Jeff touching himself or of him and his victims, sometimes during and sometimes after death. To say this show fetishizes the crimes committed by Dahmer for cheap thrills would be an understatement. There was no need for half of the intimate scenes we got, in the context of the show and considering as well that Dahmer’s victims families are in some cases still alive it felt to be the height of bad taste.

I think Evan Peters fit well in the role, he brought the right level of detachment and coldness to it. However, in many other ways his performance was quite limited and felt very reminiscent of Peters’ performances elsewhere. I think very much like Jack Black, Dwayne Johnson and Michael Cain Peters is a one note actor.

Overall, a good and at times very compelling series, however, after watching it you will feel like you need a shower and be angry at Netflix for sexualising a series of brutal murders.

Pros.

It is compelling

Peters

It is watchable

Cons.

It fetishizes events

Peters hits his limits

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Old Man: Stephen Lang Has A Bad Day

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

An old man, played by Stephen Lang, who lives alone in the woods is surprised to receive a guest.

I think this film is entirely dependant on Stephen Lang to break even. By that I mean if you judge this film by the sum of its parts then you get a very pretentious, but not a very deep film. Add in that a lot of the thematic beats have been hit before and you have a recipe for a bad film, however, Lang’s masterful performance which is able to be compelling, sinister and also strangely warm all at the same time really raises this film up and out of the dirt. Truly this film does not deserve Lang.

I saw some listings that had this film as a horror, I would say that is untrue. It is far more of a claustrophobic thriller, and in this area the film does have some success as there are a number of tense moments between the two men and the whole film keeps you on edge.

Overall, a fine film made better by Stephen Lang without him this film would fall apart.

Pros.

Lang

A number of tense moments

It is watchable

Cons.

It is predictable

It is overly familiar theme wise

It has pacing issues

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Black Adam: Time To Put The DCEU Out Of It’s Misery

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Black Adam, played by Dwayne Johnson, escapes from his prison to then engage in deeply generic superhero shenanigans.

My my if this is the best the DCEU can produce then it really is in need of a reboot pronto.

This is the most generic superhero film that I have seen in a while, this film is so obsessed with giving us mind numbing CGI spectacles that it forgoes anything even barely resembling a story or character instead choosing to use an off-putting barrage of mostly badly done bang bang effects.

Johnson is playing himself, which is fine is you like that but not if you actually wanted Black Adam to have a personality beyond ‘oh look The Rock has super powers now.’ They try and give Black Adam somewhat of an upsetting backstory but the fact that the Rock can’t emote in any real way just kind of kills that off early on.

The Justice Society are annoying, I suppose this is what the film wants as it wants you to cheer on Black Adam as he beats them up. I thought that Doctor Fate, played by Pierce Brosnan, was easily the best of them and the film and then the film goes and kills him off. To do this and try and give him this big heroic send-off doesn’t work as we haven’t seen him in any other films and he has barely been introduced or developed here so his death has very little impact beyond angering fans of the character such as myself. I thought that they might bring him back in a post credits scene, but no they have to bring back Superman, played by Henry Cavil, again because God forbid they have the film be standalone.

Overall, weak and generic.

Pros.

A few cute moments between Atom Smasher and Cyclone

Some interesting comments on America as the world’s unwanted policeman

Cons.

The Rock is miscast and can’t emote or do anything beyond play himself

It is one big CGI mess

They brought in Doctor Fate only to kill him

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Luckiest Girl Alive: Exploiting Pain

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The struggles of a young woman, played by Mila Kunis, as she makes her way in the world.

Netflix needs to take a long hard look in the mirror releasing this only a few weeks after Blonde, both films which can be viewed as exploitative and as fetishising sexual violence and female misery. I have read to a degree that some think this film could have done with a trigger warning, or to have not gone as hard as it did, but I would argue that the real issue is that the subject matter wasn’t handled well at all, lacking any kind of grace rather being instead a brute force act of shock. I can understand to a degree the director choosing to do things the way they did to show the true horrors of life for a young woman but at the same time I would argue that this verges into a new form of torture porn along the way.

Additionally, unlike other reviewers I don’t think Mila Kunis was the right lead for this film. Though she does have some acting talent which has been shown more in her recent dramatic work I just don’t think it is strong enough to carry this film. If anything the weakness of Kunis’ acting abilities are only brought to the fore here and from that she is crushed under them.

Moreover, the pace moves so breezily by everything that nothing really has a chance to sink in or to mean anything at all. The film aims for these lofty high art goals of replicating the human condition but it comes nowhere close as the technical failings mean it is hamstrung from the opening minutes, the pacing is truly quite bad being both overly long and rushed at the same time.

Overall, yikes Netflix stop profiteering from other people’s grief and pain. Lets hope this new form of grief induced torture porn ends early so we aren’t subjected to more films like this.

Pros.

It tries to tell an important story

Cons.

It is bleak throughout

Kunis isn’t strong enough to carry it

The pacing is awful

It fixates and fetishizes grief and pain far too much

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Rick and Morty: Juricksic Mort

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Dinosaurs return to Earth and they are super advanced and basically force us all into a comfortable retirement.

So unlike some that I am seeing out there on the social media sphere I don’t mind that this episode laughs at and shuts down ideas around the shows cannon. The Dinosaurs fix the space rift and Rick’s portal gun, which he fixes again later in the episode, and most of these big things from the end of the last season are quickly and unceremoniously wrapped up. That doesn’t bother me, what does bother me however is the fact that this episode is no fun at all.

It is not so much that this episode is boring but that there is nothing to it, the Dinosaurs show up put us all out of a job then humans get angry and want them gone really there is nothing new or inventive to that premise. Everything goes as you would expect it to and there isn’t even any humour in the episode that can help to make it better, most of the jokes fall down in a big way.

The only thing I particularly liked about this episode was seeing Lisa Kudrow voice a T-Rex that was a fun addition.

Overall, I really hope the last few episodes can pick this season up because otherwise I might not come back for season 7.

Pros.

Lisa Kudrow as a T-Rex

It is watchable

A few nice Jerry moments

Cons.

It is boring, trite and predictable

It is too smug for its own good

It wastes a pretty good premise

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The Curse Of Bridge Hallow: Marlon Wayans The Family Film Star

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A family moving into the suburbs are surprised to find that Halloween decorations are coming to life all over town.

Marlon Wayans in a family comedy? The phrase seems wrong doesn’t it, when I think of Marlon Wayans I think of his plethora of adult focused parody films or perhaps some of his surprising dramatic turns, but never once do I think of him as being a family film star. That said I actually liked him in this and thought that he was the best part of the film, without him this film would have been a lot worse that’s for sure.

I think the premise of the film feels very familiar and nothing new is added to it here, for the most part everything is incredibly predictable and you know where it is heading. Obviously as this is a family film the scares are fairly light on the ground, but Wayans does bring one or two laughs to make up for it.

The wider cast outside of Wayans might as well not even be there because none of them even register. For the most part they are a collection of phoned in performances and cliches lacking anything even remotely resembling character or personality, this is why Wayans and his character anchor this film so well as they at least bring some charm to proceedings.

Overall, a fairly average film made slightly better by Marlon Wayans.

Pros.

Wayans

A few funny moments

It is watchable

Cons.

It is very familiar and predictable

Most of the cast here aren’t very good

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The Midnight Club Season Overview: The Horror Series That Forgot To Be Scary

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of terminally ill teens spend their time telling each other scary stories and vowing to send each other signs from the afterlife.

What I am about to say might sound like horror heresy to some but stick with me, I think Mike Flanigan’s Netflix series have been on a downward spiral since Hill House, with this being quite clearly its lowest ebb.

I have quite a few issues with the season as a whole but I think the worst is just how teen angsty the whole thing is. You would be forgiven for thinking that what you are watching is a YA series rather than a horror one and really that is because very little time is spent actually trying to scare the audience and a lot more is spent having the kids make long speeches about how the adults just don’t understand them. This is accompanied by many, many long drawn out conversations about feelings.

Another fairly large issue with the season is how badly paced it is. For a start the whole thing could be cut down by a few episodes and be a lot better, a lot of the episodes are packed with filler and plot lines that just go nowhere which could easily be cut out at no expense to the show. Honestly in the back half of the season this show is a slog to watch.

I really do think the most damning piece of criticism I could give this show is that it is not what it claims to be, this is not a horror series in any way as it never sets out to scare you and the few scares it does include, to avoid claims of false advertising, don’t work at all.

Overall, Mike Flanigan should take a few years off from making horror content and go back to basics and really figure out what is working and what isn’t.

Pros.

It is watchable

Anya’s story is easily the best and is genuinely creepy

Cons.

For the most part this show is more of a teen drama then it is a horror series

It is not scary

It has horrible pacing

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