A Haunted House: Back In The Early 2000’s This Would Have Been Hilarious

A Haunted House is a found footage parody film directed by Michael Tiddes. The plot serves to mock the recent trend in found footage horror films, but out of that sub-genre Paranormal Activity in particular. We see happy couple Malcom (Marlon Wayans) and Kisha (Essence Atkins), move in together only to find their new home subject to demonic activity.

In some ways this film reminded me of the best parts of the early Scary Movies, it was funny and silly, and it served as an excellent lampooning of the sub-genre. However, times have changed and as have my comedic sensibilities. When I was watching the Movie films I would have been in my early teens in the late 00’s, and watching them then they were funny, and whilst this film still made me laugh a number of times I also saw a lot of the jokes as being in poor taste. There were quite a few rape jokes that made me uncomfortable, and I think don’t hold up to today’s standard.

Wayans and Atkins are both funny and each manage to hold their ground with the other. I found that they had quite a lot of good on-screen chemistry together and the comedic back and forth between them was strong and well used.

Overall, if I could ignore the rape jokes I would give this film high marks as it is a comedy film that made me laugh, which seems quite successful by what the genre sets out to do, however, those moments of uncomfortableness with off colour jokes will force it to lose marks.

Pros.

Wayans

Atkins

Good comedic chemistry

It is quite funny

Cons.

Some of the jokes cross a line and aren’t funny, namely the rape jokes

3.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Bulletproof: The Worst Of 90s Sandler?

Bulletproof is a buddy cop action comedy film directed by Ernest Dickerson. The plot sees undercover cop Jack Carter (Damien Wayans), have to transport his ex- friend/ criminal partner Archie Moses (Adam Sandler) across the country to bust a big-time drug lord.

Watching Sandler mid-90s to now you can see a real change and even a maturing. Yes, I know the words Adam Sandler and mature in the same sentence seems like a mistake, but they aren’t. In this film we can see Sandler at his juvenile worst, his character has few to no redeemable qualities and is most just annoying and childish for most of the film. I enjoy Sandler’s recent efforts (yes, even some of his Netflix fare), but even I can see this is far from his best.

Sandler and Wayans have a little bit of chemistry together which is a welcome mercy, but if you compare it to other great buddy cop duos, they might as well be strangers.

There is no point saying that this film is quite icky when compared to a modern standard as it goes without saying, for the stupid people who say ‘oh that’s what things were like back then’ it doesn’t make the critique of it any less valid.

Finally, the heart of the film just doesn’t land, you don’t end up caring about either man or their friendship with the other: the ending is met with a shrug of indifference.

Overall, definitely one of Sandler’s weaker efforts and that is saying something.

Pros.

It has one or two laughs

Cons.

For the most part it is not funny

The emotion does not land

Sandler is deeply unlikable

It goes on for too long

It is generic

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

Pusher: Do You Have My Money?

Pusher is a Danish crime thriller film directed by Nicolas Winding-Refn. The plot centres around Frank (Kim Bodina), a drug dealer who falls into desperation after a few of his deals go bad, and his growing debt put him on the wrong side of a local local drug lord.

This film oozes style, however, unlike some of Winding-Refn’s other films, this film manages to perfectly nail the balance between style and substance. The world of Danish crime this film sets up feels very visceral and real, it is also refreshing to watch a film about organised crime that exists outside of the North America (Mexico and The US for these purposes)/ Italy sector.
Bodina and a young Mads Mickelson are terrific in the lead roles and present their characters with hidden depths beyond just the usual thuggish stereotype. We see these characters as essentially desperate characters forced into a bleak and violent world by circumstances outside their control, and to a degree we sympathies with them.

The ending is incredibly bleak, but also open ended enough to not feel depressing, we are left to draw our own conclusions and reflect on the choices made.

Overall, one of the best crime film I have ever seen. Incredibly strong.

Pros.

Bodina

Mickelson

A new focus and perspective on organised crime

The ending

The style

Cons.

It may be a bit too bleak for some

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Apartment 143: Smacking Your Head Against The Wall

Apartment 143 is a Spanish Horror film directed by Rodrigo Cortes. The plot sees a father and his two children become the victim of a poltergeist believed to have something to do with the recently deceased mother of the children – as is custom the father hires a team of paranormal investigators to get to the bottom of it.

The only positive I can give this film is that there are a few moments that do actually feel quite scary. These are not the moments where something paranormal might be a foot, but are instead the moments when we see that the father might have far more to hide than we first thought. That the real monster might be alive and well; however they ruin this as the film goes on and just ignore the plot thread in favour of a more generic supernatural ending.

The characters are all deeply generic and the plot goes exactly how you would expect. That really is my main take away with this film, it is not bad – it is watchable, but it is deeply generic. If you have even a slight interest in the horror genre and have seen more than one other haunted house/ and or possession film then you have seen this film before.

Overall, boring, and generic.

Pros.

When it looks like the supernatural is not the real cause of the evil

Cons.

Promptly ignoring that plot line

It is boring

It is generic

It is not scary

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

Escape Room: More Than That Thing Your Friends Drag You To

Escape Room is a horror film directed by Adam Robitel. The plot sees a group of people participate in an escape room with a grand prize of ten thousand dollars cash. However, as the experience progresses they soon start to realise that the danger is far too real and that each of them has been chosen for a reason.

I missed this when it was originally released and have since had a vague desire to check it out when I could, so as I was settling down on New Year’s Day and scrolling through Netflix I decided to put it on. This was my first film of 2021.

I am pleased to tell you that it did not disappoint me. At first I thought it was going to just be a blatant rip-off of Saw, but as it went along I found that there was quite a bit more too it. The ending is especially interesting as it implies something much larger and much more sinister (think Cabin In The Woods), that I can’t wait to see explored in the sequel.

Though I did not find it scary, I did find it to be suitably tense throughout. As such I was often glued to the screen trying to see how the characters were going to get out of this latest death trap. In that regard the escape room puzzles and traps themselves were all very original and creative and I enjoyed how the tied in character backstory into the design.

I would say that the performances for the most part were very average, no one really stood out to me in any way and they all just seemed like fodder; if I had to pick a favourite it would probably be Deborah Ann Woll’s Amanda as she had the most personality and character development throughout the film.

Overall, a very worthy horror film with a great ending that really wets your whistle for the sequel, hurry up Sony!

Pros.

The originality

The tension

The escape rooms themselves

The ending

Cons.

The characters were quite generic

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Witches Of Eastwick: The Powers Of Liberation

The Witches Of Eastwick is a dark fantasy comedy film directed by George Miller. The film sees 3 suburban women go on a voyage of self-discovery and sexual exploration after a mysterious man (Jack Nicholson), comes to town and tempts them out of their boring lives.

I enjoyed the more overt references to the supernatural and the implication that Nicholson’s character was the Devil (or a demon of some kind), I thought it added a nice extra something to the film and really enriched Nicholson’s character.

I thought the performances were strong from everyone involved, Cher, Sarandon and Pfeiffer all gave great performance and I liked seeing their journey over the course of the film, when they became ‘witches’ the character transformation felt earned.

My one complaint would be that at nearly two hours the film is far too long. The film definitely could be improved by being shortened as a lot of the scenes have very obvious bloating and plot padding, the latter of which takes away from the drama of events after they have happened and effectively derails the film.

The monster CGI form the film’s final moments is laughable at best and does not feel in any way tense, but this was probably good for the time, so I won’t be too harsh.

Overall, an interesting premise boosted by some strong performances is let down by poor pacing and an inability to form meaningful tension.

Pros.

Strong performances

An interesting premise

Hints of the supernatural

Cons.

Poorly paced

Lacking in tension

2.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

A Street Cat Named Bob: One For The Cat Lovers

A Street Cat Named Bob is a biopic, drama film directed by Roger Spottiswoode. The plot tells the real-life story of recovering homeless drug addict James (Luke Treadaway), and the cat that gave him a new lease on life.

I loved the book this was based on, so I went into the film with high expectations. The film seems far more down beat than the book, though the friendship and eventually turn around is inspiring and uplifting a lot of the moments along the way are deeply, deeply depressing. I have to say when the film ended I was left feeling bummed out.

I enjoyed seeing the bond between James and Bob (the titular street cat), I thought their relationship was very endearing, as someone who has had many cats over the years I can say that it is very effecting and will strike a cord with any cat owners.

Treadaway seemed convincing in the role, I enjoyed him and his characters emotional arc. However, I would say his Australian accent was inconsistent, it came and went sometimes you could hear it and it was believable but other times he seemed to forget to do it.

Overall, this film packs an emotional punch, if you can bare some of the more intense moments of despair then there is a beautiful film here.

Pros.

The James/Bob relationship

The ending

The emotion

As a cat lover I found it even more impactful

Cons.
It is very sad

Treadaway accent comes and goes

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Vigil: Waking The Dead

The Vigil is a horror film directed by Keith Thomas. The plot sees a young man (Dave Davis), perform an overnight vigil for a recently deceased member of the Jewish community. However, once his watch begins thing begin to go wrong, and the man must fight off the efforts of a demon if he ever wants to leave that house again.

This film genuinely unnerved me, that is not something I get to say very often. I think by capitalising on an underrepresented type of horror, Jewish horror, we really get to see something fresh and unique. When thinking about these sort of films, possessions films/ demon films, we often are presented with a narrative from a Christian view point, and it is nice to explore the idea of demons from another faith’s viewpoint. The only other obvious example I can think of a similar film would be the Jeffery Dean Morgan stating The Possession where we get the Jewish view point represented.

I think the scares are very well done here and I enjoyed a lot of the slow burn horror scenes. This film does have a few jump scares in it, which is usually a point of derision, but here they actually work well within the film and the film as a whole doesn’t feel reliant on them.

My only negative would be that this film is very bleak and will make you feel sad after watching, which personally I was not anticipating, but be warned.

Overall, a very original film that is brimming with exploration and novel approaches.

Pros

The focus on Jewish mythology

The demon itself, the look and design

The horror

The ending

Cons.

It is very bleak

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Wonder Woman 1984: Consent Issues And Rape Threats

Wonder Woman 1984 is a DC superhero film directed by Patty Jenkins.

Yikes. How can a film go from a first entry I gave 5/5 to this. There are so many issues with this film I don’t even know where to begin.

To start on a slightly positive note, Gal Gadot is still a lot of fun as Diana/ Wonder Woman. She brings just the right level or heart and badassery to the role, which makes for a great watch. Likewise, Pedro Pascal is an entertaining villain, and though hammy and scenery chewing manages to have quite a few good moments, that help an otherwise deeply troubled film.

My central issue with this film and the one that almost made me stop watching it is the consent issue. When Diana’s lost love Steve Trevor (Chris Pine) comes back from the dead he is in the body of someone else, this other person does not know Diane or Trevor and yet this body is used by Trevor to have sex with Diana which raises all sorts of iffy moral questions; who thought this was a tasteful idea in a family film no less. Adding to that I don’t understand why recent DCEU films have been so keen on including the threat of rape, these films are supposed to be aimed at a wide audience including kids. At least in Birds Of Prey, it had an older market in mind, here we see Kristen Wiig’s character threatened with sexual assault, why? To show she is weak? Think about the message that sends.

Another issue I had with this film is just how in love with the 1980s it is. When I first started seeing 80s nostalgia it was fun and charming, but this film manages to push it over the line and make it feel gimmicky and annoying. There are moments when the film could have the charm of a Chris Columbus film but then it has to go and overdo it.

Additionally, this film seems to be the most radical departure from Zack Snyder’s bleak and oppressive DCEU films and the most blatant in its attempt to copy the MCU. However, even this it manages to get badly wrong. This film takes the annoying humour from the MCU and stretches it out for 2 and a half hours, (an unreasonably long about of time), not only is a lot of this humour in no way funny, but it also removes any tension from the film; for the 1^st hour and a half literally nothing happens.

Finally, Kristen Wiig is badly miscast. Her character is a cliché inside of a stereotype and it is clear from the off where it is going to end. In that vein, you would think the film would make more of an effort to give her Cheetah a moment to shine, but no she is quickly defeat within 5 minutes; we can’t have any threat or tension now can we.

Also the film looks oddly cheap throughout which does not make sense considering its budget.

Overall, this film somehow manages to be worse that Birds of Prey and reignites all my fears for the DCEU, please if anyone over at Star Wars is reading this remove Patty Jenkins now before she ruins the next film.

Pros.

Gadot and Pascal

Cons.

The consent issue

It looks cheap

There is no action

Kristen Wiig is miscast, and her character does not have a minute to shine

Why is there a rape threat in a family film?

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

Naked: Yet Another Time Loop

Naked is a comedy film directed by Michael Tiddes. The plot sees a man (Marlon Wayans) become trapped in a timeloop on the day of his wedding. This forces him to revaluate the type of person he is and ultimately forces him to grow up.

So by and large this is a fairly generic film. The whole concept ‘the time loop’ is starting to become quickly played out and boring, as we have seen various different characters become trapped in loops many times over at this point.

Wayans tries his best and the few laughs that there are in the film do come from his character, so I will give him prompts for that. However, this character as a whole is a cliché of the man child/ underachiever trope and is once again nothing new: having all the nuance and development of a burnt Christmas dinner.

The comedy mostly missed the mark for me. I laughed maybe once or twice throughout and had a few more smiles, but mostly the humour left me cold. I found any character that wasn’t Wayans deeply unfunny, I don’t know if that was done by design to make Wayans more funny? Though all it managed to do was to make me feel indifferent.

Overall, as a comedy film this is watchable if you have no other options, but it is nothing you haven’t already seen better before.

Pros.

It is watchable

It has a few good jokes

Cons.

Wayans is struggling

The other characters leave no impression

The premise is been there done that

2/5

Reviewed by Luke