The Ice Road: The Most Obvious Conspiracy In Human History

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

The premise of ice road truckers having to carry heavy items over sheets of sheer ice is tense and interesting enough on its own, it doesn’t need to be overly complicated.

Therein lies the problem of this film, Ice Road Truckers proves there is an audience that wants to see big rigs carrying goods over ice that could break any minute. However, this film did not get the memo, or maybe doesn’t care as clearly it does not think this premise is entertaining enough to get people to watch so they have to force in a conspiracy as well. Of course this conspiracy storyline is entirely needless and adds very little.

Liam Neeson and Laurence Fishburne try their best to give this film some soul and personality yet one gets killed off early into the film and the other is mostly side-lined. Yes, even though Neeson features heavily on the posters and the marketing for this film it is really not his.

From a writing perspective this whole film feels very played out and overly familiar. They try to write in twists and turns but it just goes exactly the way you would expect it to, the way it is telegraphed to go from the beginning you know who the actual villain will be because it is all just so obvious.

Overall, Liam Neeson needs a better agent or maybe just to retire from action films as it is starting to reach a point now where even his charm can’t save these films from themselves

Pros.

Neeson

Fishbourne

Cons.

It is incredibly predictable

The villain is obvious

It is overly complicated

If you enjoyed this review, then please head over to my Patreon to support me, I offer personalized shoutouts, one on one Q and As, the ability for you to pick what I review next and full access to my Patreon exclusive game reviews. Check it out!

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Gods Of Egypt: I Don’t Remember The Egyptian God’s Having Scottish Accents Coming Up In History Class

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

I remember when this came out and instantly joined everyone’s worst of that year lists, I didn’t see it at the time, but now years later I have finally got around to seeing it and it wasn’t as bad as I was expecting.

So firstly lets get this straight off the bat the film is problematic for a number of reasons. All the Egyptian characters with the exception of a few are white, and to be even more insulting these Egyptian gods are also white for the most part; and in one case Scottish. Moreover, one of the few female characters in the film Elodie Yung’s Hathor is trotted around like a piece of meat barely wearing anything at all. The character even comments on what they are wearing, but that does not make it better or the film any less creepy.

That said, if you view this film more as a comedy than an actual action film then this film is passably watchable. It all makes no sense and the characters themselves are all over the place, but if you turn your brain off it is dumb fun.

I found Nikolaj Coster-Waldu to be as entertaining as ever, and I thought he was easily the high point of the film. The other male lead was widely forgettable, and I can barely remember anything about him to put in this review. Yung has good chemistry with everyone on-screen, but you can’t shake the feeling the film wants her to be ogled in the creepiest way. Butler is just playing his usual on-screen persona now just with more fake tan and eye liner.

Furthermore, a final thing to note, I found the decision to have all the God characters be bigger than their mortal counterparts to be oddly jarring to look at especially when both were on screen together. It did not look right and though I think it is a nifty idea it does not work out well in practice.

Overall, mindless popcorn action weighed down with some troubling production decisions.

Pros.

It is dumb fun

Yung and Coster-Waldu are fun and give good performances

Cons.

Yung’s character is objectified

It is whitewashed to hell

Butler is miscast

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

The Birthday Cake: What Is In The Box?

4.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

This film is the best gangster/crime film I have seen in a while. The pacing of this film is terrific, and it takes you on one hell of a ride. There are scenes in this film where I was on the edge of my seat, I know that is a cliché, but for once it accurately describes the situation.

I enjoyed how this film places so much emphasis on its titular cake, always making sure to feature it in every sequence throughout the film. Moreover, the final reveal involving the cake makes the film, or at least it did for me, it was so perfectly built up to and it truly delivers.

Furthermore, the acting is strong across the board with every actor bringing their A game to this project and being memorable as a result. I would be hard pressed to pick a favourite moment from the film as the whole of it is so good and each actor really has their own moment to shine.

My one criticism of this film would be that it could have better used Ewan McGregor, as he is barely in the film though when he does appear he steals the scene. I would have liked the film to further explore the relationship between his character and Gio as clearly he is somewhat of a mentor to him, but we don’t really see this happen on-screen and can only imply it as an explanation.

Overall, perhaps the best gangster film of the year.

Pros.

The cast is terrific

The cake payoff

The tension

The pacing

Cons.

Under-using McGregor

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Downsizing: Shrink Down To Save The Planet?

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

This film is really all over the place. It seems to have a lot to say about various different things, it is ruled by its themes. That sounds like a criticism, but it is not. Though I found the film underwritten in a few areas and points it was trying to make, I actually found the wider piece to be surprisingly soulful and reflective.

The concept of turning people into miniature versions of themselves to stave off an oncoming apocalypse is refreshingly original. The entire film is a comment on climate change and man’s response to it, and in this area the writing for the film and the metaphor that holds it all together works well in communicating that relationship.

I thought the performances from all involved were good, with Christoph Waltz being a particular highlight. Though the film may be sold as a comedy I think it is more than that. Truth be told there are few funny moments in this film, but there are a large amount of smile inducing or thought provoking ones instead.

The film almost reads like a dark comedy, and I think it nails that tone perfectly.

Overall, if you go in expecting a silly comedy about Matt Damon being tiny you will be disappointed, however if you go in ready for more of a quasi-conversation about climate change and human impact on the world you will be more than satisfied.

Overall, surprisingly intelligent though not at all funny.

Pros.

The themes and wider comments

The ending

The genuine emotion and feeling

It is smart

Cons.

It is not funny

It tries to comment on too many issues and real world talking points.

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Ice Age: Thawing Our Hearts

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

I fondly remember the first few Ice Age films from my younger years, and though they are still watchable and entertaining enough, they are nowhere near as good as I remember them being.

Firstly, the voice John Leguizamo does for Sid the sloth feels vaguely offensive and more than a little reminiscent of the voice than accompanies certain Adam Sandler characters. I found the voice to be noticeably jarring throughout.

Secondly, despite not being on for very long this film suffers from pacing issues, particularly in the first half, with their being little of interest beside the Saber-Toothed Tiger attack. Things get better as the trio assemble however.

Once we get all of the main character together and the journey truly begins then the film starts to work. Though I would not say the film soars to the emotional heights of say a Pixar film, it does get close. You feel the bond the characters have with one another and with the little human baby they are protecting, as such when it comes time to see the child reunited with his family and leave the company of our main characters it is deeply effecting.

I think it is in this emotional dimension that this film shines.

Overall, one of the better entries in the series but perhaps not as strong as you remember it being.

Pros.

The emotion

The ending

Our main trio of characters

Cons.

A very slow assembly

Sid’s voice

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

The Quake: The Continuing Adventures Of The Most Unlucky Family In The World

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

I know I said in my The Wave review that I was done with disaster films, however here I am doing it again; I have to get my shlock fix somehow.

Anyway ignoring the ridiculous nature of the plot with the same man being at the centre of two separate natural disasters and surviving both, I would argue this is actually better than the first film.

Firstly, as the recurring protagonist is more of a defeated man here he is easier to warm to, whereas in the previously he came across as unlikeable. Moreover, you buy the bond he has with his kids more so here, and the wider emotional soul of the film feels stronger this time around.

I also thought the spectacle and the effect used looked far better this time around. Yes there was a wide gap in-between the two films so of course the effects will look better as they are newer, but I also thought they were used more effectively: the scene in the collapsed skyscraper is proof of what I am talking about it was incredibly tense.

Overall, this is definitely better than the first film though the two do share a lot of the same issues.

Pros.

The lead is more relatable this time around

The emotions of the film connect more

It is more visually impressive

Cons.

It is more of the same

It is incredibly dumb and falls apart the more you think about it

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Tuca And Bertie: Bird Mechanics

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

I am glad to see that Tuca And Bertie survived being cancelled and has found new life elsewhere. I appreciated this show when it was on Netflix, as though it was not another Bojack as many had expected it to be it was deep and funny in its own way.

I enjoy that the characters in the show feel true, yes in one respect they are larger than life cartoon characters but in another they are deeply flawed individuals just trying to get through. I always found this show to be very relatable when it came to its depiction of anxiety and other mental health conditions. I think it is important for the medium to talk about this topic and to analyse it both to spread awareness as well as to take apart harmful or misguided stereotypes.

In this particular episode I found the scenes with Bertie being unable to cope with and then having a panic attack at the romantic meal with her boyfriend particularly powerful. As someone with anxiety disorder myself I can see how it would get to that level.

Moreover, the Tuca storyline has her surround herself with people in a dating show format, but then just ends up with her pushing them all away because she can’t commit, yet fundamentally she is lonely. The show is as deep if not deeper than anything Bojack ever was, not to belabor the comparison. The nuance of the characters and the emotions really speak to the level of the writing. Additionally it is also quite funny, so it is firing on both barrels.

Overall, it is nice to see the series back.

Pros.

The mental health representation

Bertie’s panic attack storyline

The emotional nuance

A few funny jokes.

Cons.

Not all the jokes land

Tuca needs more exploration

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Fatherhood: From Complaints About Cancel Culture To Possible Awards Season Glory, Kevin Hart Is A Dramatic Actor

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

I never saw this coming. Kevin Hart is more than just a comedian who complains a little too much about cancel culture, clearly he has never heard of the Streisand Effect, he is also a very serious dramatic actor.

This film is being sold to you entirely incorrectly, it is not a light hearted comedy film but rather quite a serious and at times upsetting drama film. There are several things that happen over the course of the film that are deeply upsetting, including Hart’s character having to give his daughter up because it allows her a chance at a better life with her grandparents- this is not a comedy.

When I saw the film going in this serious direction I was at first troubled as I did not know if Hart could carry a film like this, if he could muster the necessary emotional heft, but he more than succeeds. Hart is the lifeblood of this film the father daughter dynamic is so sweetly crafted that it is honestly heart-wrenching. Moreover, during the dramatic scenes Hart plays the character as a real human being and feels the emotion rather than trying to crack a tasteless joke. I appreciated how sparingly this film used its comedy.

Overall, this is a powerful film for a lot of reasons, and it goes to prove that Hart can be a talented dramatic actor when he is not the butt of height jokes.

Pros.

The emotion

Hart

The father- daughter bond

Sparse/ tasteful use of comedy

Cons.

It is not what a lot of people are expecting

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Piercing: A Love Story Where The Leads Try To Kill Each Other

4.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

This is a darkly comedic horror masterpiece. This film is so awkward and tense I love it, it made me laugh quite a few times.

I think both Christopher Abbott and Mia Wasikowska are simply excellent here. Abbott is really proving himself as someone to watch out for. I enjoyed how the story played with the characters never letting one get the upper hand on the other, or at least not for very long.

The basic premise is Abbott’s character is a family man who starts having urges to kill so rather than murder his family, he rents a room at a hotel with the idea of luring a prostitute, Wasikowska, up there to kill her. The beauty of this premise is that though simple it is executed so cleverly that it becomes easily engrossing.

I thought the ending was strong as it leaves the idea of murder ambiguous, we don’t know whether one of the two killed the other or whether they ended up falling in love. Moreover, I thought the use of violence throughout the film but particularly here at the end feels well done, it is as painful to witness as it would be to experience it is very graphic and visceral allowing it to pack a punch even when used sparingly.

Overall, one of the tensest films I’ve seen recently but also hilariously funny at times.

Pros.

Abbott

Wasikowska
The ending

The impactful violence

The humour

Cons.

A slow start

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Fast 9: Hobbs And Shaw Did It Better

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Buckle up, this is going to be a long one.

Before we get into the main review I just want to say that the actions of John Cena in the press tour for this film immediately make me like both him and this film less. For those that don’t know Cena said that Taiwan was a country, which it is, and then later retracted this and apologised to the Chinese market, more likely the Chinese government in Mandarin in perhaps the most grovelly way possible. Cena and the film itself lose a lot of respect from me for doing this.

My feelings on this film as a whole are deeply mixed. In truth I just don’t see why this franchise is around anymore it has lived long enough to jump the shark several times over by now and is certainly not getting better. This film feels particularly desperate as it brings back as many characters as it can in an effort to try and renew interest in the series, yet this seems an impossible task. Events like the return of Han would have had a bigger impact if it didn’t entirely destroy the lore of the series, but hey that’s overthinking it.

Another thing I want to draw attention to is the presence of the male gaze in these films. I understand these films are aimed at teenage boys, but the amount of butt and up the leg shots in this film is ridiculous. The film feels like it is trying to have its cake and eat it too by appealing to this teen audience in a pervy way, whilst also pushing home the strong independent women angle: the message is jarring and frankly more than a little insincere.

Honestly I don’t see where the series has to go from here, they literally go to space in this film there isn’t any way they can top that, unless the characters become superheroes as this film flirts with. Moreover, Charlize Theron’s Cypher was not a good villain in the last film so to see her brought back here, and then be implied to be coming back for the next film is infuriating as her character is ridiculously weak. Looks like the series will be going out with a whimper rather than a bang.

My only real enjoyment of this film came from laughing at how dumb it was, both intentionally and unintentionally. The real issue is that of the remaining cast few have the chemistry of a Dwayne Johnson or Jason Statham, and instead it is just Vin Diesel’s ego laid bare for around two and a half hours.

Overall, it is more of the same, yet the charm of the series is starting to wear out.

Pros.

The dumb fun

It is hilarious

Cons.

It doesn’t justify its existence

The male gaze

Far too many flash backs

It is on for way too long

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer