Crowning: A Spoiled Sandwich

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

This film is quietly unnerving, there is something about it that lingers. The sheer randomness of the events, how nothing is quite like it seems and when you think you finally understand what is going on you are left with more questions- it is maddening.

I think part of the genius of this film is that it is able to communicate a lot, about its themes, ideas and sense of self without the need for large amounts of dialogue. The opening scene of the lead eating a prawn and crisp sandwich, minus the prawns, speaks volumes and does a lot organically for character development.

I enjoyed the ending twist, though I needed to watch it a few times and even pause it to make sense of it. I applaud the film for trying something different and for not being afraid to leave you with more questions than answers.

Overall, an interesting film that strives to do something new, but that can also be confusing at times.

Pros.

The minimal use of dialogue

The ending twist

The unnerving building sense of tension

The central performance

Cons.

Won’t be to everyone’s taste

It is confusing and requires multiple viewings

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Profile: Never Trust Someone Who Takes Selfies With Kittens

4.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

After watching the trailer for this film a while back I have been quietly excited for it, after now watching it I can say that was entirely founded- this film is superb.

The idea of a journalist pretending to be a radicalised teen online to try and secure and connection and series of interviews with an ISIS recruiter is a terrifying premise, made more so because this film is based on true events. However, the film builds on that premise perfectly and delivers one of the tensest thrillers of the year.

The performances are very well done, and you truly believe the fall from pretend radicalisation to real romantic involvement. You believe it so much it becomes a little frightening. It becomes clear why so many young women are brainwashed into leaving their country for a life that often turns out to be sexual slavery.

The ending is perhaps the best part as it magnificently raises the stakes and ramps everything up to max.

Overall, this film deserves all the attention it is getting as not only does it draw light to a frightening trend happening online which is largely going ignored by big social media companies, it also provides us with a thrilling viewing experience.

Pros.

The tension

The ending

The acting

The message

Cons.

Slightly bloated around the second act

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Wish Dragon: Subtle Propaganda Very Obviously Disguised

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

This film wants so badly to be a DreamWorks’ or a Pixar film, but it is nowhere even remotely close.

So firstly there is an odd amount of subtle pro-China stuff in here, not as bad as something like Abominable which though a good movie featured a map of the Chinese claim over the South China Sea on it, come on guys really, but there were a few lines that made me cringe with how blatant they were being. Please stop putting government propaganda into your films, we all know what you’re doing.

Moreover, the idea itself feels heavily inspired by Aladdin, yes I know the idea of wish granting deities also exists in other cultures as well, but the way the film handles itself and more importantly the relationship between the lead and the Wish Dragon feels clearly more than a little ripped off.

The voice cast didn’t do much for me either. The best of a bad bunch would be John Cho as the Dragon, who I thought did the best with what he had though that wasn’t very much. The worst was probably Constance Wu who is playing a very similar character to the one she did on Fresh Off The Boat, the show she hated, and lacks anything even remotely resembling range.

Overall, this film is blatantly clear in what it is and try as it might, it can’t disguise it.

Pros.

John Cho

A few feel good moments

Cons.

The propaganda

The lack of any kind of originality

The voice cast aren’t given much to work with

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In The Heights: A Rare World Where People Cannot Converse Unless In Song

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

I am not a fan of Hamilton……….. I’ll leave that to sink in.

When trailers for this film came out and a lot of people started to get very excited for it, I remained cool. After watching I am decidedly more so.

Firstly this is not a film that needs to be seen in cinemas; I am still waiting for a film that will make me say ‘wow this is better than watching it at home’ whilst in the cinema. The sound mixing much like Nolan’s Tenet serve to undermine the film some what and the loudness of the music itself makes the sung dialogue within it almost hard to hear.

Moreover, I don’t like that everything in this film is sung rather than said. Yes, I know it is a musical, but plenty of musicals have scenes of dialogue in between songs- it doesn’t all need to be sung. Almost every conversation in this film is done to music and in a song-like way, which honestly lessens any sort of dramatic impact.

Perhaps most damning of all the songs themselves are not even that good. The first song, the one that has been in all the trailers is passably okay, but after that they take a steep nosedive in quality to a point where it feels like they have given up trying.

Overall, maybe Hamilton fans or diehard musical lovers will be able to get something out of this, I for one just got my time wasted.

Pros.

It is a loud and colourful and easy to turn your mind off to

It doesn’t really require you to pay attention

Cons.

Too many songs

Most of these songs are of an average or poor quality

It is on for far, far too long

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Festen/ The Celebration: The Family Reunion From Hell

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

This film will not be to everyone’s taste, it’s sense of humour is incredibly dark, and some may even find it in bad taste: I however did not.

This is such a bizarre film tonally as you have these incredibly distressing scenes, of suicide and child abuse, cut with other far lighter and almost comedic scenes: both are existing along side the other and both have equal importance. Whilst one would assume this would not work and the two types of scenes would clash horribly, they actually don’t instead working well and nicely complimenting each other.

I found moments in this film to be funny, though the jokes were morbid and will almost certainly not be to everyone’s taste, as I often say comedy is subjective.

What I appreciate the most about this film is how it handles the abuse storyline; it treats it with sombre reverence and shows the often too common reaction to it; disbelief. I thought that the ending of the film where these matters were forced to a head felt strongly emotional and satisfying. Though I found myself depressed by the ending, I would not change it.

Overall, a bizarre film in a lot of ways but one that needs to be seen and experienced.

Pros.

The emotions

The bizarre meshing of dark and light

The dark comedy elements

The ending

Cons.

Some will find it very hard to watch

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Another Round/ Druk: Mads Mikkelsen Can Dance

5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

As I said recently in a tweet Mads Mikkelsen is a treasure. If you were not on the Mikkelsen train before, now you are.

There is something so fun and emotionally impactful about this film, yes dark things happen, but there is such an underlying sense of optimism to it that you can’t leave feeling anything other than happy. Honestly, this film made me feel better than any film has in a long time whilst watching it, and it has inspired me to watch more of Vinterberg’s work.

I thought the concept was fascinating, the idea of improving your life by keeping your blood alcohol content above a certain limit throughout the day is genius and is also executed incredibly well. Moreover, this is a beautiful film to look at, this can been seen especially with the final dance sequence that is by far the highlight of the film.

Though I wouldn’t call it a comedy, I thought this film had a number of funny moments scattered in throughout, and it made me smile consistently; it is probably more of a dramady.

Overall, one of the best films I have seen in a long time.

Pros.

The hopefulness

The final dance sequence

Mads Mikkelsen

The premise

The cinematography

Cons.

None

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Thor: Natalie Portman’s Second On Screen Stilted Relationship

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

I am seemingly one of the few people that actually seem to like the first Thor film. I don’t mind the Shakespeare esque dialogue, or the forced romance between Hemsworth and Portman where both look like they hate each other; instead I actually enjoy it.

Firstly yes it is widely known and widely mocked that the chemistry between Chris Hemsworth and Natalie Portman was not there during this film, however, I actually quite like them together on screen as a pair I think they work well together and could have been a lot more. Maybe Thor 4 can fix it.

I also think though not as zany as in his more recent appearances Thor is still a very likeable lead character and Hemsworth is very charismatic. I like the unworthy arc and the fish out of water style comedy, both work for me. Moreover, I appreciate the family drama between Thor, Odin and Loki I think it works well and makes for one of the best endings in the MCU. Try and tell me watching Loki float away into the void didn’t make you sad.

I also think that Lady Sif and the Warriors Three have huge potential in this film, sadly Marvel seems content on doing nothing with them. What a waste.

Overall, one of the better early MCU films that often gets overlooked in favor of Ragnarök and though I love Taika Waititi as much as the next guy, this film has a lot of stuff going for it as well.

Pros.

Hemsworth

Portman

Sif and The Warriors Three

Cons.

Darcy

A slow start

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Minions: This Is Why Children Are Dumb

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Who would have guessed that the vaguely racist lead of the Despicable Me films is the glue that is holding it all together. Yikes.

The Minions were the obvious breakout stars of the Despicable Me franchise however, what works in small doses peppered in around a wider story does not translate into being able to anchor their own film.

I found this film to be far more simplistic and childish than the previous films, which primarily aimed at kids, had enough depth and adult jokes to make both ages groups feel like they were getting something out of the film. This time here it is painfully dumb in humour and in writing, probably because the creatives thought ‘kids won’t know it’s bad’.

Moreover, the central story is so convoluted and all over the place that by the time you get to Sandra Bullock’s evil villain trying to take over from the Queen Of England, for reasons you are so lost and confused that you can’t properly regain an understanding of, and worse you don’t want to.

If I had to describe this film in a word it would be loud. It is loud and bright and there are a lot of things all happening at once to pander to the ever diminishing attention spans of children.

Overall, a definite low point for the franchise clearly brought out to try and get more milk out of the cow, but this milk is bad.

Pros.

It is watchable

The Minions are likeable

Cons.

It is dumb

It isn’t funny

It is hard to tell what is going on

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Father Of The Bride: Complaining About Having Money

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

I have heard a lot of people talk about this film over the years, it has achieved ‘classic’ status in some people’s eyes. However, I am not one of them.

Firstly, I did not find it funny to hear Steve Martin’s character complain about money when he is clearly very well off, not only that but we the audience are expected to feel sorry for him when his future son in law’s parents have more money than him. The privilege is staggering. For many of us owning a house like the one Martin’s character has would be a proud moment in our lives, something we dream towards, however here it is a source of shame…

Despite being a Steve Martin fan, I thought the comedy here was a little flat; comedy is subjective of course. I found myself laughing a few times, but more often than not the jokes didn’t land. I thought the whole bit about Martin Short’s character having a hard to understand accent was particularly unfunny and I was left waiting for some hidden moment of comedic brilliance when I would finally ‘get it’ yet that never came.

Overall, as far as romantic comedies go it is passable, it lacks both the heart and soul of My Big Fat Greek Wedding and the family comedy of Meet The Parents, but it will do in a pinch.

Pros.

A few funny jokes

Marin

Cons.

A lot of the jokes don’t work

The clear privilege and the out of touch nature

The ending

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Blackstock Boneyard: Back To Bore You To Death

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Though this film is good enough horror shlock, there is not enough to it to make it compelling or anywhere near above average.

I will admit I often found this film to be funny, though more often than not in an unintentional way on the part of the film. There were parts of the film that almost played like a comedy, everything was so laughably over the top, though I did like that about the film.

I enjoyed the B movie charm of this film and thought the dumb spectacle was very entertaining. Sadly, the characters were very milk toast and failed to inspire any kind of reaction in me; other than one of boredom.

Moreover, the film suffered from pacing issues throughout with the film feeling about double its actual length. There were times when the film entirely lost me, and I found it very hard to keep paying attention to it.

Overall, entertaining enough, but not without deep issues that bog it down.

Pros.

The spectacle

It is dumb fun

Cons.

The acting

The pacing

Frequent excursions into boring

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