Civil War: Guess Who The Bad Guy Is

Summary

A civil war breaks out in the US but the thing that will kill you is not the air strikes or the bullets but the incredibly obvious message that is being beaten into your face until it’s a pulp.

What shocks me the most about this film is that it was made by a British director, normally it is the American’s that put their politics front and centre and think that the Red vs Blue struggle makes for interesting viewing for those far from their shores, it doesn’t we don’t care, but no here it was a Brit.

Alex Garland as far as I am concerned is a hack, Ex Machina was okay but really nothing to write home about, then came his messy and pretentious foray with Netflix, then Men another statement film that came and went without anyone caring about it and now this. There is talk that he is going to give up directing after this and all I can say is thank God.

Before I get into it, can you guess what the message was, go on I’ll give you a minute though you won’t need it……………

If you guess that the clear Trump stand in right wing American’s are bad for the sheer fact of existing, and that it is as much a comment on how divided America is right now as it is that the right wing should just go away and everything will be better. Believe me I am no fan of Trump, I am as a non-American who has no interest in US politics thought the guy was a bad joke that shows what happens when you underfund your schools, but this strawman argument is beyond ridiculous. The whole point of the film is to be controversial but not in the sense that it is going to take shots at the left and the right, no in the sense that it goes oh look at how extreme the MAGA crowd is boy aren’t they bad, an obvious statement to make, and then takes a victory lap to bask in how profound that message is.

Overall, the film industry will be a better place without Alex Garland in it.

1/5

Pros.

The action is interesting

Cons.

The message is so obvious

It is pretentious and smug

It is incredibly obvious

No one cares about an election that happened 4 years ago now serving as the very obvious inspiration for a film

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The Beekeeper: Burning Down A Call Centre Has Never Been So Efficient

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Jason Statham is just a man that likes to make honey at the weekends and then in the weeks burn down call centres.

This film was hilarious, I would imagine intentionally so, Statham’s character would commit a grave act of violence and then make a bee pun or comment and you couldn’t not burst into laughter.

Moreover, this was a good role for Statham as he got to be his usual tough guy persona but also have a little fun with it, I think in many ways this could be the start of a new franchise for him as it has the same charm as something like The Transporter did all those years ago.

The world of the Bee Keepers is also quite interesting and rife for exploring in the same way the world of the Continental was when John Wick first came out. I definitely think any sequel should lean more into that direction.

Overall, a good dumb action film.

4/5

Pros.

It is funny

Statham

It has many cheer worthy moments

The world of Bee Keeping

Cons.

The villains are fairly one note

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In The Land Of Saints And Sinners: A Shoot Up Down The Local

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Liam Neeson is a small town hit man in Ireland

I thought this film was quite good, bear in mind I am a big Neeson fan so I am more than likely being a bit forgiving if only unconsciously.

The premise of a hitman taking out the wrong person and drawing the ire of a larger group is nothing new, but the build here is what makes this film more. As the trio of IRA members circle the small town looking for Neeson you know a conflict is coming, and the film holds out on you until the very end, and when the shootout in the pub does occur it happens with such grandiose brutality that the whole film becomes worth it then and there.

Increasingly I see things about Neeson retiring or at least giving up action films, but I think there is no need for that I still think he’s a believable action force even now, after all Schwarzenegger continued with action rather later into his life than Neeson so I still think he has a few more action films in him.

Jack Gleeson gives a great performance here as well easily living up to his twisted character in Game Of Thrones though here he is supposed to be on the side of the angels. Kerrie Condon is also a good villain for the piece who you can both hate but also understand why she is doing what she is doing. A strong cast all round.

Overall, another solid Liam Neeson action film

4/5

Pros.

Neeson

Gleeson

Condon

A great third act

Cons.

It is slow getting to the action

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Marionette: Are You Real?

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A therapist, Thekla Reuten, begins taking sessions with a boy, Elijah Wolf, that can seemingly see the future, however, as their time together grows stranger it becomes clear that something far more grand is going on.

This is one of those films that has a twist that you will never guess, now whether that is down to just how outrageously out of left field it is, or because it is well done will be a matter for you to debate after watching it, personally I lean more into the former than the latter.

I will say that the scares regarding the boy and just what is going on are quite well done, and it was nice to see a relatively recent film not have to rely upon jump scares but instead use atmosphere, the bleakness of the remote Scottish village and the menacing weather really add to the whole aura of the film. I think my issue with jump scares is just how obviously they often are and how you can see them coming from a mile away if you know the signs to look for.

Overall, a good thriller with a twist that is either genius or ridiculous it is hard to tell.

3/5

Pros.

The tension and scares

The atmosphere and how the environment informed the film

The ending

Cons.

The ending

The child acting isn’t good

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Sax X: Jigsaw Or Jesus?

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Jigsaw, Tobin Bell, heads south of the border.

I’ll admit I liked seeing Jigsaw back in a big way. I think Bell’s character is just so compelling that he makes the films a damn sight better just by being in them. I think the franchise really did shoot itself in the foot by getting rid of him from the timeline so early, though there is promise in the apprentices. Personally, I thought Spiral didn’t work as well without either a proper apprentice or Jigsaw in it.

I thought the story here was a little thin, they really had to pad out the opening of the film just to kill time because they knew they didn’t have enough material. Once the trick is revealed and the deaths start then things pick up and become far more interesting. It is in this frame we come to know Cecilia Peterson, Synnøve Macody Lund, who comes to be somewhat of an antithesis for Jigsaw himself. She too has a murderous rage but she doesn’t believe in helping people to get better and as such she becomes the final victim of Jigsaw’s game, only to escape. It is in this new character that I think the series has new life, Cecilia is easily the most interesting new character coming out of this film and I think to not have her be a big part in at least the next film would be a massive mistake, she could hunt John aka Jigsaw down with a rag tag group of survivors from early games that we haven’t seen or met yet, probably ending up in a champion of champions sort of contest in one of Jigsaw’s warehouses.

I thought Amanda, Shawnee Smith, was fine here but I would have liked to have seen more from her, I think her character keeps getting undercut by the franchise at large, though I must confess that I was hoping some of the other apprentices might have shown up at least at the end.

Overall, it’s another fine instalment made better by Cecilia but also one you could easily miss.

3/5

Pros.

Cecila

The return of Jigsaw

The traps

Cons.

The opening is slow

It does nothing special

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The Equalizer: La Dolce Vita

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Robert McCall, played by Denzel Washington, becomes a man about town in Italy.

I enjoyed this more so that the previous Equalizer film, and a damn sight more than that horrible gender swapped TV show, and would go so far as to say it was on a par with the first film. Again I think where these films shine is when it is just McCall going on a rampage against massive groups of guys, it works in very much the same way the John Wick movies do and I think that this film was able to capture that well.

I would say the film was a slog at the beginning and spent far too long in the little Italian town with McCall getting to know everyone and all this, I can see they did this to make it feel more personal later as the villains then try and destroy the community and life McCall has built in Italy, but I just think it went on for too long.

I think that Dakota Fanning’s interesting new character added something to the film and that the narrative as a whole did enough to make us care about her, though I would have liked to see her have a more active role in the action vs essentially getting taken off the board early into the third act. However seeing as she survives the film maybe she can come back later on in the franchise and be more proactive.

Overall, a better than average action film, better than the first sequel and the tv series probably on a par with the first film.

3/5

Pros.

Denzel

The action

The film makes you care about the characters

Cons.

It spends too long setting things up

It does Fanning’s character dirty

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A Haunting In Venice: A Macabre Puppet Show

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Poirot, played by Kenneth Branagh, is back this time to face off against the paranormal.

I think this film was a much needed return to form after Death On The Nile or as I call it Gal Gadot’s vanity project. The decision to forgo some of Christie’s other better known works and to pivot into the supernatural was a strong way to make this film feel fresh. As an ardent fan of horror I thought that the scares here were actually quite good and worked.

I liked the friendship between Poirot and Tina Fey’s character, Poirot is at his best when he has someone to work off and is part of a duo, that was what worked so well in the first film. It was sad to see that in the end Fey was a baddy and had to go away but I would quite like to see Poirot have an assistant, ward or mentee in the next film.

The mystery itself was okay, it was better than Death On The Nile where it was painfully obvious early on what was going on, but I would still say it was not as good as the first film. The fact that they are all being poisoned and that explains away the spooks is fairly obvious from the jump, but the reveal about who was the murderer was better concealed until the end of the film.

Overall, a return to form.

3.5/5

Pros.

The horror aspects

The cinematography

The cast

The gothic feel

Cons.

The mystery is so so

Having Fey turn out to be a villain

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The Dive: The Depths Of The Abyss

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Two sisters, played by Sophie Lowe and Louisa Krause, go on a diving trip and then get stuck deep underwater.

This film did not go where I thought it was going to go, I thought it would follow in the footsteps of other recent survival films and be more action thriller in terms of tone but no, this film really is a drama. Yes there is some thriller aspects with the sisters battling for survival but for the most part it is a deep and quite depressing reflection over the sister’s lives, childhood and bond. It is important to bare this in mind before you go into it as it certainly won’t be everyone’s cup of tea.

Personally, I thought the film worked quite well as an atmospheric drama with the vast emptiness of the sea an apt setting for these weighty themes and ideas. Certainly by setting so much of the film in this incredibly isolating space it really helps to hit home these ideas of loneliness and how the sisters have drifted apart. My point is that the central metaphor of the film works very well.

I thought both Lowe and Krause gave good performances, I would edge it to Lowe as I think she shows the greater range of emotions over the course of the film, but Krause can pull of the intensity her character needs well.

I would say the highlight of the film for me was the ascension scene at the end, as there is a real tension there, you can feel that sense of dread and threat and really do fear that the characters will meet an untimely end through the bends.

Overall, an interesting film that does a lot with themes of isolation and abandonment but one that is perhaps too dark at times and that will put a lot of people off.

3/5

Pros.

Both of the leads

The ending

The themes

Cons.

It is not for everyone

It is at times too depressing

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From: Season One Overview

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A large group of people find themselves trapped in a town they can’t escape from wherein they are hunted every night by a group of monsters.

In many ways you can see how this show was from some of the producers and creative voices behind Lost, asthey have very similar mystery/supernatural aspects to them. However, where this show is much better than Lost is the fact that it knows how to use its tension and usually progresses things at quite a nice pace. Every time the monsters show up, which is in most episodes, the show becomes fantastic and is electric to watch with the threat and the terror being palpable.

Conversely, whenever the show slows down and focuses more on the characters or their drama the show can drag. Now for the most part this drag is a rare occurrence and the character drama is kept to a minimum, but with the largest cast of characters it is inevitable. Speaking off the cast is a deeply mixed bag, some do a terrific job and really can be counted on as reliable pillars of the show, whereas others seem only there to broaden out the show’s potential viewership figures.

Overall, well worth a watch, but with a few issues that hold it back from being the next big tv show.

3.5/5

Pros.

The monsters and the horror aspects

The mystery

The season ending

For the most part great tension and pacing

Cons.

At times the show slows down for character drama and this hurts it

Some of the characters serve no purpose

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Hypnotic: Ben Affleck Has A Terrible Agent

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Ben Affleck has mind powers and they are so good he has forgotten about them.

What happened to Robert Rodriguez? Honestly once upon a time he was my favourite director and I would rush out for each of his films opening weekend, but now he is just making fairly subpar family films and stuff like this.

I will admit the idea of Ben Affleck trying to find his lost daughter going up against a cult of people with mind control abilities is genuinely interesting and if the film had stuck to the that then maybe this review would be different. However, the film seems to want to compete with the mind games of a Nolan film and adds in twist after twist to such a point that any shred of promise is wasted and the film becomes incomprehensible. This film wants so badly to be a Nolan esque film but it just doesn’t have a smart enough script for it.

The ending is also incredibly terrible and feels like the most convenient writing I have ever seen in recent cinema. The ending makes no sense, but everything after the first half an hour is like that, and also tries to go for a happy ending even though nothing in the tone of the film or the narrative suggests that to be appropriate.

Ben Affleck is doing his usual moody dad routine, and that worked for me here and I think it fit the character well, better than it did in some of his other recent work. The acting is all fine, no one particularly sticks out for good or for bad.

Overall, if this is the quality of his contemporary output Robert Rodriguez should retire.

2.5/5

Pros.

The premise is sound

Affleck fits the role

It is watchable

Cons.

It is a stupid film that thinks it is an intelligent one

It makes no sense

The ending is truly awful

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