Men In Black, International: Erase Your Mind If You Have Seen This Film.

Men In Black: International is a science fiction action film directed by F. Gary Gray, it serves as the 4^th instalment in the franchise, also being the worst, it is notable for being the first Men In Black film to not feature Will Smith, or Tommy Lee Jones. The plot follows new duo Henry (Chris Hemsworth), and Molly (Tessa Thompson), as they try and stop an alien invasion.

This film came out with a thud, it was dead on arrival. The Men In Black franchise has been continually on the decline since the second film, the first two films were good, mainly because Jones and Smith had great on-screen chemistry together and were likable. The third film was fine, it wasn’t bad, it just left very little impression, the only notable good thing about it was that it featured Jeamaine Clement. However, Men In Black International dives even further still and is aggressively bad. There is not one reason why this film is bad, sure it is bland as hell, the plot feels like a rehash of other better science fiction films, the jokes like ‘oh Men In Black isn’t very inclusive we should change the name to Humans In Black’ are cringey and take you out of the film, but it is hard to point to any one thing.

I think the reason why this film is so bad is because there is no chemistry between Hemsworth and Thompson, unlike in Thor Ragnarök where the two had great on-screen chemistry, thanks in no small part to Taika Waititi, here it is cold and flat. Hemsworth just plays a caricature of the character he normally plays, the good-looking dummy who gets all the girls and saves the day and I don’t know about you, but I am starting to get bored of it. He has had no luck as a leading man outside the MCU and I think that is proven here. Thompson on the other hand is the more likable of the two, her character actually made me laugh, but even she wasn’t on top form, she seemed uninterested and as though she was just doing it for the paycheck.

The only good thing I will say about this film is that the side characters are great. Rebecca Ferguson as arms dealer and Henry’s ex Riza is a cool character and has an interesting fight scene later on in the film. Kumail Nanjiani is terrific as Pawnee and I could easily watch a whole film focusing on him, but these two characters are barely used.

I’m not even going to get into the ridiculously obvious twist about Liam Neeson’s character, which would be harder to miss if it was running down the street, towards you, wrapped in meat eating a can of dog food.

Overall, this film proves that the series has no where else to go and that it can’t work without Jones and Smith, so they should stop trying. It is aggressively bad and boring, and the thought that Sony was stupid enough to think this stinker could restart the franchise is in and of itself hilarious.

Pros.

The side characters are cool, too bad they are barely used.

Cons.

The “jokes” are cringe.

Thompson doesn’t really care, and Hemsworth is playing himself, but with a weird inconsistent accent.

The plot is utter garbage.

The CGI use is bordering on obscene.

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

X-Men Dark Phoenix: No More Mutants Please

X-Men: Dark Phoenix is a superhero film directed by Simon Kinberg; it belongs to 20^th Century Fox’s now defunct XCU (X-Men cinematic universe), taking place after the events of X-Men Apocalypse and is based on the Phoenix Saga from Marvel Comics.

Prior to writing this review I had been putting off watching this for a second time, it is a horrible film. Can I just ask the question before we get into the review, who thought letting Simon Kinberg a man who can’t even write films lead alone direct them, direct this was a good idea? All of the good X-Men films had very little involvement from this hack, or if he was involved, he was heavily reigned in by the director of whichever movie he was working on.

That said let’s get into the review.

First off, the action scenes in this film are atrocious, when you realise that they belong to a block-buster superhero film they seem even worse. They are a mad rush of CGI paired with the weakest blandest fight scenes you might ever see in your life, it is so lifeless and boring, it makes you wonder if they gave up on this film before it even started filming, and Fox wanted to release it just so it would cost, new franchise owners, Disney money; makes you think.

Secondly the acting, I can’t even bring myself to really go into this, so I will only talk about 2 noticeable bad performances, the rest are painfully average and feel so underdeveloped that you begin to question whether they even exist. James McAvoy as Professor X and Michael Fassbender as Magneto are the only 2 okay performances and even then, the incredibly bad, prequel era George Lucas esque bad, writing takes away anything it can from either performance.

The first of the woeful performances is Sophie Turner as Jean Grey. If I had to put together a list of the worst performances, or worst actors of 2019 Turner would surely be on it. I understand she was in Game Of Thrones and that was popular, empathies on was, but that doesn’t mean she is a good actress. Her performance has as much range and emotion as a bin bag floating down the side of the road, she can’t maintain an accent and as such it keeps slipping, she just can’t act, she can’t and if Hollywood learns one lesson from last year it should be to dump Sophie Turner as fast as they can.

The second performance and perhaps the more controversial pick is Jennifer Lawrence as Mystique. Never before in the history of film has it been clearer that an actor has only been in a film because they were contractually obligated to be. It is clear from the very first moment she appears on screen, in her human form because Lawrence doesn’t like the makeup, she is being payed millions to wear, that she doesn’t want to be there. Her now infamous line of “you should change the name to X-Women”, made me both cringe and feel annoyed at the same time, and shows everything that is wrong with this film.

Overall, I have to say bravo to Dark Phoenix as it actually made me like the rotting carcass that is X-Men: The Last Stand so well done for that!

Pros.

McAvoy and Fassbender are okay.

Cons.

Sophie Turner shouldn’t be cast.

Jennifer Lawrence should have left when she stopped caring, they should have let her go.

Someone should have stopped Simon Kinberg from ripping the X-Men apart.

The overuse of CGI hurts.

0.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Kong Skull Island: The King Above All

Kong: Skull Island is a monster movie directed by Jordan Vogt-Roberts; it is a reboot of the King Kong franchise. The plot follows a group of scientist and soldiers as they travel to the uncharted Skull Island and find creatures beyond imagination, including the legendary Ape King Kong, who is the last of his species.

Though it may not be the most popular opinion, I believe of all the Monsterverse films thus far this is by far the best. My absolute favourite thing about this film is its soundtrack, it is absolute 70’s perfection, Jefferson Airplane, Credence Clear Water Revival and Black Sabbath all grace the soundtrack of this film and it is magnificent.

The style of this film is further compliment to the soundtrack, this is a very stylised film, this is clear in multiple ways and I believe unlike something like the Babysitter that is overly stylised, this is just the right amount as such it gives the film a fantastic sense of identity and uniqueness.

Crucially what this film does that makes it better than the Godzilla side of the Monsterverse, is it maintains the balance between human action and monster action; neither one takes focus from the other. The human characters are on screen enough to be developed, but they aren’t focused on to the point where we don’t get to spent time with Kong. We get plenty of time with the great ape himself, his origin is slightly different from what we have seen in the past, but it is still well done.

My two favourite human characters in any of the Monsterverse films are in this film. Firstly, we have Brie Larson’s character of Mason, who is an anti-Vietnam war photographer, she is a very interesting character and I like how they almost give her the human, monster relationship with Kong that we have seen in previous films, but then subvert it at the last minute. The other character I really like is Hank (played by John C. Riley), he is a pilot that has been stuck on Skull Island since World War 2, so for 28 years. Riley in this is fantastic, perhaps the best I have ever seen him, he has great comedic moments, but he also has great emotional dramatic scenes. The scene at the end of the film when he returns home after he has been away for so long is tear inducing, it is almost impossible to not cry when this scene comes on.

Overall, this film manages to achieve something that few other monster movies do, it strikes a harmony between the human and non-human characters, making all of its character interesting. The style and the soundtrack of this film also helps it to be exceptional, I hope that Godzilla Vs. Kong can be as good as this!

Pros.

The soundtrack.

The style.

How it handles Kong.

How it handles its human characters.

Cons.

The strange skull creatures.

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Doctor Who (Season 12): A Season Of Extremes

Doctor Who is a British science fiction show that has just completed its 12^th season; which my review today will be covering. The plot of the show centres around a time traveling character called The Doctor (played by a multitude of actors over the years, but is currently portrayed by Jodie Whittaker), who goes on various adventures through time and space.

The last time I talked about this show I suggested that it was on the decline, beyond hope, but having now finished the latest series I am slightly more optimistic about it. The finale, the Tessla episode and Frankenstein episode I thought were good, the rest well I will get to them. Having good episodes is a step up from season 11, where they were all either incredibly forgettable or bad.

What’s more in these episodes were the writing is stronger and more Doctor central Jodie Whittaker’s portrayal of the character is better. When she is playing it straight her version of the character works, it doesn’t when she is manically talking to herself, or showing no empathy towards the companions. Speaking of which, an opinion of mine that hasn’t changed is that the companions this season are terrible, they have nothing to do, no personality, and only serve to steal focus away from the Doctor; BBC if you’re listening kill off one or two of them and give Jodie Whittaker and the Doctor more time to shine. I was really hoping in the season finale that they would have killed a few of them off, but they don’t have the balls anymore for real stakes where characters might die.

Finally, this season is a season of extremes, those bad episodes I was talking about before are really, really bad. Is it an improvement in quality to go from a season of really boring bland episodes to then have a season where every episode is either good or awful? Current year Doctor Who seems to love giving lectures, there are multiple moments in multiple episodes where the Doctor looks into the camera and gives us a talking to about one thing or another and it just annoying, really annoying. Good science fiction is escapism, the audience doesn’t want to constantly be reminded how bad they are and how humans are destructive terrible creatures, yet Doctor Who never got the memo clearly.

Ps. This is only a minor thing compared to the other things I’ve talked about here, but can the Doctor go back to visiting other planets please? I understand they might not have the budget for it, but to set every episode on Earth, or Earth like locations is just lazy and it loses all the appeal of the Doctor being able to go anywhere in time or space.

*Also, I am not even going to go into the timeless child twist, because we would be here all day if I did.

Overall, a step up from the woeful season 11, but this show is still bad in a lot of ways, critical ways, and has a long, long way to go to even be half decent Who.

Pros.

Some strong episodes that actually feel like Doctor Who.

Whittaker has some moments of greatness.

Cons.

The companions other than Bradly Walsh, are annoying, devoid of personality and worse of all distracting.

Whittaker also has some terrible moments.

The lectures and the complete lack of subtly.

2/5

Reviewed by Luke

Godzilla, King Of The Monsters: A Weak And Ineffective King!

Godzilla: King Of The Monsters is a monster movie directed by Michael Dougherty. The film belongs to Legendry’s Monsterverse and follows on from the 2014 Godzilla film. The plot of the film revolves around humanities discovery of ‘the Titans’ and then their efforts to wake them up. Once they have been woken up, surprisingly they wreak havoc and then it is up to Godzilla to get them all in line.

I have been putting off this review for a long time, this is a film that a lot of people have strong feelings about, some love it, some don’t. The film didn’t do very well when it came out, which has affected the Monsterverse as a whole, but it has a dedicated cult following. For me, personally I liked Kong Skull Island, but both the Godzilla films have left me cold. Here is why.

My issue with the first film was that it didn’t have enough Godzilla in it, so when it looked as though the sequel was going to have more monsters fighting and less of the horrible human characters, I was excited, and yes there is far more monsters fighting, but now maybe it is too much. There is only so many times you can see a huge CGI creature hit another giant behemoth.

The human characters are dumb and bland, there is some strange eco-terrorism sub plot that is going on, that never really gets explained and their goals make no sense either. The twist that Vera Farmiga character has been working for them all along, isn’t hugely surprising, but you don’t care because she is boring and underdeveloped. Millie Bobbie Brown is only in this film because of Stranger Things she is probably the best of the human characters, but that’s not hard, a piece of wood could be better than all the human characters in this film.

The writing in this film is dumb, so, so dumb, unapologetically so, but that is half the fun. There is one bit in the film where they drop an oxygen bomb on Godzilla, which… how does that even work? If you’re one of those people that like things like The Fast and The Furious, were nothing makes sense and it is just pure spectacle then you might like this film.

Don’t even get me started on Kyle Chandler, who much like Annabelle Wallis can’t act. Seeing Chandler’s name on a casting sheet is a huge red flag for me, as he has never been good in anything.

Overall, this film is a disappointment as it managed to screw up both the human characters and the monsters, while also lacking the heart that made Skull Island so good.

Pros.

Millie Bobbie Brown is okay.

The first half an hour is entertaining.

Cons.

After that it becomes repetitive.

The human characters are terrible.

The plot is ridiculous.

2/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Invisible Man: The Dark Universe Reborn.

The Invisible Man is a science fiction horror film directed by Leigh Whannell. The plot follows Cecilia (Elizabeth Moss), a woman who escapes her abusive boyfriend, only for him to then kill himself, or appear to, and then continue stalking her only now he is invisible. Of course, people think that Cecilia is crazy, so she must set out on a mission to prove she is sane, as well as to finish off her abusive ex-boyfriend once and for all.

I thought this was a great film. After the rocky start Universal’s Dark Universe had all hope seemed to be lost, but then this came out. The reason why I think this film is so good and should be the template for future releases of Universal’s classic monster films, is because it is a horror film first. It is not an action film with horror elements, it is not a film hell bent of trying to force in an extended universe, it is simply a good horror film.

To that end, I found the premise to be quite unsettling, being stalked by someone you can’t see, and the film really does explore that in an interesting way. Furthermore, there were moments in the film where I thought for sure they would stuff in a cheap jump scare, but they didn’t and for that I tip my hat to Leigh Whannell. The horror elements in this film are strong, there were multiple times in the film that made me jump, which is something I rarely do these days as I have become use to watching horror films.

Moreover, I think the way the film handles domestic abuse is both in good taste and shocking at the same time, the domestic abuse is the heart of this film, therein lies the horror, The Invisible Man shines a light on this subject and shows how horrific it is, how a person can be isolated and tortured by the person they love the most. What’s more, Elizabeth Moss’s performance highlights the horror of domestic abuse as her character is unable to go outside at the start of the film as she is consumed by fear that her partner will be outside coming for her. For me this may be a career best for Moss.

Overall, this film far exceeded by expectations, as a stand-alone horror film it works very well, as a piece of a larger narrative equally so, other than being a little slow at times, this is a damn near perfect film.

Pros.

The horror.

Not using jump scares.

It actually made me jump.

Elizabeth Moss.

Con.

It is a bit slow at times, it could have done with a tighter edit.

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Sorry To Bother You: What Would You Do To Succeed?

Sorry To Bother You is a dark comedy film directed by Boots Riley. The plot follows Cash (Lakeith Stanfield), a young black telemarketer who adopts a white accent to be successful at his job. Once Cash is a success he must decide where his priorities lie and who his real friends are, as everything is not as it seems, and dangers lurk at every corner.

I love this film satirical take on the world, I think there are parts of it that are genuinely hilarious and parts that make you think, as good satire should. However, I do believe that the absurdity of this film reaches a point where it becomes silly and loses the point. I am of course referring to the horse people that show up in the films final act. I understand that they are acting as a metaphor and are part of the satire, but at that point in the film I had given up trying to understand it as it had ventured into silly territory. I think this film could have been even stronger without the horse people being in it. I do believe the horse people will be polarizing to people watching this, you will either love them and think they’re inspired, or think their inclusion is dumb and confusing.

The main positive of this film is Lakeith Stanfield’s marvellous breakout performance! Stanfield nails the performance on every level, he is warm and likeable, he is funny, and he also evokes real emotion from us the audience during some of the film’s heavier scenes. This was and has proven to be a Star making turn for him and I think it is fully deserved.

However, on the flip side I think all the scenes with Cash’s girlfriend Detroit (Tessa Thompson), drag on and on. I have yet to be impressed by Thompson in a single one of her performances, she is fine but she never blows me away, she was good in Thor Ragnarök, but that was a small part in a larger cast, not one of the main characters as she is in this film. I think many other actresses could have done a better job than Thompson in this role to name but a few off the top of my head, I think both Zazie Beetz and Lupia Nyong’o could have had interesting takes on the character, but ah well.

Overall, this is mostly a great dark comedy, Stanfield is terrific, and this film is worth watching for him alone, however a weak and strange third act and a less than average performance from Tessa Thompson stop this film from being a 5/5.

Pros.

Lakeith Stanfield.

A great dark comedy.

It makes you think and laugh.

Cons.

Tessa Thompson

The horse people.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Us: An Exercise In Failing To Live Up To Expectations.

Us is a horror film directed by Jordan Peele. The plot follows Adelaide (Lupita Nyong’o), who, as a girl, had a run in with a doppelganger version of herself in a Santa Cruz house of mirrors. Little did she know that everyone has a double, these doubles are called the Tethered and they live in underground tunnels everywhere, all across the USA, maybe even the world; for years they have been planning one thing, their revenge, this film chronicles them getting it.

The expectations for this film after Peele’s seminal breakout hit with Get Out were sky high, how was he going to top it? Well in my opinion, he didn’t. Whilst Peele’s earlier film had some cerebral elements to it, it was still a very straightforward narrative, by that I mean when the film ended you knew what had happened. However, Us likes to smell its own farts, the whole film seems to be up to your interoperation and the themes seem to be more important than the story itself, there are numerous scenes and plot holes, such as why the Tethered don’t always copy what their surface dwelling doubles do even though it is established early on that they do, which ruin the great concept the more you think about it.

For me the biggest issue with this film is it’s ending. There is a twist reveal that who we thought was Adelaide has actually been the evil Tethered version of the character all along, which is a good twist, but then the film just kind of ends. The way the film ends with the Tethered all linking up and joining hands across America, leaves more questions than answers and it doesn’t feel nicely wrapped up, like Get Out did, which to me makes the writing seem weaker.

I have to talk about Nyong’o’s performance which was fantastic. Was it Oscar nomination worthy, no it wasn’t. However, what Nyong’o did was create two characters that felt entirely different, but also similar enough that they could be switched over and we would believe it. Moreover, she also brought a great physicality to the role, the final fight scene between her and Red, (Or who we believe to be Red), was excellent and really well done.

Overall, this film fails to live up to expectations as it leaves us going what? Rather than feeling satisfied. I still think however, this is a good film and Nyong’o is great in it, just that the challenge of having to follow Get Out proved too much for it.

Pros.

Good premise.

Scares.

Nyong’o

Cons.

Far to up its own arse.

Unsatisfying.

Fails to live up to expectations.

3/5

Reviewed by Luke

Sonic The Hedgehog: The Hero We Need!

Sonic The Hedgehog is an action-adventure comedy film based off the beloved 90’s videogame figure. The plot follows Sonic after he flees his home world and takes up residency on Earth, there he meets Donut Lord (James Marsden), who accidentally tranquilisers him causing him to lose his rings, which Sonic needs to travel between worlds. While all of this is happening the US, government calls in a specialist to check out all the strange goings on, Dr Robotnik (Jim Carrey), who them seeks out Sonic to capture him and use him for his own odds and ends.

Can I just say that as someone who grew up playing Sonic in the early 2000’s this film is a triumph they nail Sonic (Ben Schwartz), Robotnik and the world, more over that post credits scene when they introduce Tails had me giddy with excitement. I am actively looking forward to a Sega shared universe and if all of the entries to the universe are as good as this, we might finally have something to rival the MCU.

My only complaint about this film is that occasionally it focused a bit too much on it’s human characters, while Marsden did a good job the same can’t be said for his in-film wife Maddie/ The Pretzel Lady (Tika Sumpter), who added nothing and was incredibly underdeveloped, the scenes that focused on her and her sister Rachel (Natasha Rothwell), dragged on and on and took away from the overall enjoyment of the film. The joke of Rachel not liking Donut Lord/Mike is used for all it is worth and it is never once funny.

However, Carrey’s turn as Robotnik more than makes up for the lack of comedy and he is phenomenal and hilarious. I didn’t realise until I was sat watching this film how much I had missed seeing Jim Carrey on the big screen, as he was a favourite of mine when I was growing up. Carrey brings some real menace to Robotnik, but also makes him super over the top in the best way, he perfectly walks that line between scary and funny.

Sonic himself looks great and reminds me of the Sonic from my youth, Ben Schwartz does a great job voicing him, he brings a lot of energy to the character and also makes him warm and likeable; there are elements of the latest iteration of Paddington mixed in the there I am sure.

Overall, there is a lot to love about this film, it is not only a great videogame movie, but also the perfect start to a wider universe. Loved it! If you’re a fan of Sonic or, a newcomer to the character I guarantee you will have a good time with this film.

Pros.

Setting up the world.

I missed Jim Carrey.

The post credits scene.

Sonic himself.

Cons.

Any scene with Maddie or her sister.

4.5/5

The Big Bang Theory: Life After The Singularity

The Big Bang Theory is a sitcom created by Chuck Lorre and Bill Prady. The plot follows a group of nerdy scientists as they have quirky adventures and misadventures and attempt to find love. The show ran for 12 series with the final series ending last year.

Carrying on from my post about Friends the other day I want to now look at some of that show’s successors one of which is The Big Bang Theory. Whether you love it or, you hate it this show has been around for a long time, longer even than Friends, and it has had an impact on pop culture, even inspiring a spin-off show in Young Sheldon.

I am of the mindset that this show never dipped in quality over it’s run, episodes from season 11 made me laugh just as much as episodes from season 1 or 2, but comedy is subjective. I think the ending of this show, Sheldon (Jim Parsons), winning the Nobel prize and thanking his friends and his wife is the perfect way to end it, the final scene of the show brought more than a few tears to my eyes.

Though some say that the comedy of the show shifted from laughing with the nerds to at them, I don’t agree. I think the characters were done justice to until the end, I think this show as well as some of it’s contemporaries helped in bringing nerd culture to the mainstream; it made being a nerd cool.

I liked how each character was developed over the course of the show and became more rounded, even background characters like Stuart (Kevin Sussman), had arcs and changed; we saw these characters grow as we ourselves did as well. The ending of the show gave all of these characters a sense of closure, except for Raj (Kunal Nayyar), who was left up in the air after his unsuccessful quest for love; I hope we don’t get a Joey esque spin-off for him, and this closure was just what we needed to move past this show.

Overall, I think The Big Bang Theory was less impactful than Friends, but that is not to say it wasn’t influential in its own way, it was. The Big Bang Theory reached out to all the geeks and nerds (myself included) out there who wanted to see a show they could relate to, where the characters aren’t going to parties every night and sleeping with different people near constantly and to them this show was a rallying cry, it made being a nerd cool; something that seemed like an impossibility.

Written by Luke