Drive My Car: Listening To Tapes From Your Dead Wife

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The film follows Yusuke Kafuku, played by Hidetoshi Nishjima, who after the death of his wife Oto, played by Reika Kirishima, tries to continue on living his life and begins trying to organise a play.

I thought this film was more good than bad. Certainly there is no getting around the fact that this film wont be for everyone, the run time alone is enough to put most off: clocking in at almost three hours and there is no real reason for this long runtime. However, those that stick with it are in for a deep dive into the human soul that in many ways is rewarding.

The characters are all strong and well developed, a pro for the long run time is that many of the characters get explored and are given plenty of focus. I also think the thematic exploration is where this film really shines as it has a lot to say on relationships and grief, most of which is quite insightful. I truly do think the strong point of this film is the writing.

Overall, this film will not be to the taste of many and the long run time will prove testing but there is something worth seeing here.

Pros.

The writing

The themes

The performances

Cons.

The run time

The ending is a little vague

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Click And Collect: Would You Steal From A Sick Kid?

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Steven Merchant and Asim Chaudhry must go on a cross country road trip in order to get Merchant characters’ daughter a toy for Christmas.

I thought this film was honestly just pretty average, it had a few laughs but at the end of the day it wasn’t anything I hadn’t seen before. It was an odd couple pairing that initially grate on one another and then eventually become friends, like I say nothing new.

Merchant plays it a little too straight and almost becomes unlikeable for big parts of the film, I understand being neurotic but that doesn’t make you a dick. Chaudhry on the other hand has a much better showing and is the heart and soul of the film, you really do end up caring for him by the end.

The comedy is fairly missing. I would say I chuckled maybe once or twice during the runtime of the film and that was probably about it. It’s not funny really, however it is watchable.

Overall, fairly average.

Pros.

Chaudhry

It is watchable

The ending

Cons.

Merchant

The odd couple pairing feels played out

It wastes Sophia Di Martino

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Office Christmas Party: A Room Full Of Regret

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The wacky goings on at an office Christmas Party.

My, my. How could they get a cast together with this many comedic actors and produce such a dud?

This film reeks to me of a corporate comedy. One made by a focus group at the behest of a room full of executives trying to guess at what people find funny, as such it is both overly tame and weak whilst also trying to force in edginess that doesn’t naturally lend itself to the film at all.

As you might assume this doesn’t lead to the film being funny at all. Most of the cast are wasted, or are used in ways that don’t produce any laughs, a good example of this would be Kate McKinnon who is just doing her usual shtick but this time has turned it up even higher. I would say Jason Bateman and Jennifer Aniston are serviceable but nothing more than that and that rather surprisingly Olivia Munn actually ends up being the comedic standout of the film and the only one who had any funny lines.

The film also features T.J Miller before the sexual abuse allegations came out, and he is just awful here. His jokes range from creepy to irritating and I think we can all agree that it is a good thing his face won’t be darkening our collective door anymore.

Overall, a weak, tame and factory produced comedy.

Pros.

Munn

Bateman and Aniston are trying to keep it together

Cons.

It is overstuffed

It isn’t funny

T.J Miller

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Boxing Day: Maybe Skip A Family Christmas

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Melvin, played by Aml Ameen, brings his girlfriend, played by Aja Naomi King, home to face the family. A whirlwind ensues.

This film really wasn’t for me. It was unfunny to the point of annoyance and seemed to stretch on and on without any sign of it ending. I don’t think this film had me laugh once throughout.

Moreover, the wider cast were also poorly served, as the film reaches to give them depth but fails and instead just leaves us with a group of characters who are shallow, forgettable and ultimately unlikeable. Worse than all of that a lot of these characters are just written as cliches and tropes that we have all seen hundreds of times before.

Therein lies the big problem with this film for me, it is incredibly been there and done that. From the off you can see where everything is going and rather than try and surprise you the film instead just plays out in an incredibly predictable way with all the generic holiday rom-com plot beats being hit as if the screen writers are trying to tick boxes on a list.

Overall, this film did little for me besides waste my time

Pros.

The ending dance number

I liked the mother stepfather romance

Cons.

It isn’t funny

It has pacing issues

A lot of the side characters are annoying

It relies heavily on cliches and stereotypes

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Silent Night: Perhaps The Worst Christmas Film Ever Made

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of people spend one final Christmas together before they are killed supposedly killed by a poisonous gas in the morning.

Where to start with why I didn’t like this film? I suppose the most glaring issue with it was the fact that it preaches absolute faith in what the Government preaches and punishes the characters that dare to think contrary to that. I have read some reviews of the film that say that the message is the exact opposite to how I have taken it and that the point is a critique on mass panics/ mass obedience but I think if that were the case the film needed to do more to show that people were silly to take the pills,

Another wide issue with this film is its preaching. In many ways this can be viewed as an eco-horror as the gas that is coming to kill everyone is of course a result of man’s treatment of the planet. Frankly this rather obvious explanation felt irritating from the beginning, as we get it the planet is hurting but that doesn’t mean it needs to be stuffed into every piece of media as an easy plot point. I would have preferred it if the gas had been sent by some other foreign power.

Moreover, there is an argument to be made that this film is in bad taste. It tries to be a dark comedy horror film, but abandons any semblance of comedy early on and instead tries to become a horror drama film. The bad taste elements come in with regard to the pandemic that we are all living through, there are a number of things here that parallel where we are right now and these elements come across in bad taste at least to me.

Finally, this might be one of the most depressing films you will ever see, there is nothing fun or even really watchable about it and it is so unpleasant that simply finishing it feels like a herculean effort.

Overall, the only reason this film didn’t get lower is because Keira Knightly, Sope Dirisu and Lily-Rose Depp are all trying enough to give the film a few redeemable moments.

Pros.

Knightly, Dirisu and Depp are all trying their best

Cons.

The rest of the cast are not very good, especially Roman Griffin Davis who embodies everything wrong with child actors

It is deeply depressing

It has troubled and flawed morals

The preaching

Boiling Point: The Worst Night Ever

4.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A chef must contend with a nightmare evening where everything goes wrong.

This is an emotional gut punch of a film, stressful is how I would describe it. The stress being felt by Stephen Graham’s Andy is so palpable that it comes through the screen and you feel it too. You latch on to Andy so much and relate with him as he is just trying to keep it all together, however as the film progress you see that maybe Andy isn’t so great. I enjoy the emotional ambiguity towards the end of the film, I think it makes the whole piece feel more rounded and nuanced.

In many ways this film feels like a horror film and is hard to watch at times if you have ever worked in a restaurant before either in the kitchen or in the front of house you will feel the terror of this film and it will leave you in a cold sweat.

I think the greatest thing about this film is Stephen Graham. Graham is one of the most reliable actors working today, often terrific and when used properly is the high point of any film that is the case here. Graham play’s damaged character just so well and throughout the film he portrays the moral ambiguity and vulnerability of Andy with such sincerity that he becomes real.

Overall, a magnificent film that is sure to horrify anyone who has ever worked in a restaurant.

Pros.

Graham

The tension

The moral ambiguity

The ending

Cons.

The health inspection scene drags for just a little bit

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Calendar Girls: The Calendar That Titillated The World

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of older Yorkshire women pose nude for a calendar to raise money for cancer patients. Based on a true story.

I found this film to be enjoyable to watch and mostly feel good. Yes, there were one or two moments that were a little on the depressing side but for the most part it was a cheery celebration of life.

I thought all of the performances across the board were strong, Helen Mirren and Julie Walters are both compelling co-leads and both are relatable with their individual struggles and how they handle their fame. I thought it benefited the film to have the reflection on fame and what it can do to up end a life, it made the characters feel genuine and real.

My issues with the film would come as a result of a very played out narrative that feels been there done that. Obviously this film was pinned down as it was a true story so had to stick to that, but a lot of the emotional beats and revelations about life felt deeply generic and puddle deep. The film was also insanely predictable.

Overall, a sweet if overly familiar film.

Pros.

Mirren and Walters

It is very watchable

A few funny lines

Cons.

It is very predictable

It feels played out

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A Castle For Christmas: Escaping To Scotland

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Famous author Sophie Brown, played by Brooke Shields, heads to Scotland to avoid an angry fan backlash. Whilst there she buys a castle and falls in love with its Duke.

I found this film to actually be quite enjoyable in a goofy Netflix Christmas movie sort of way. Yes, if I were Scottish I would be offended by this film, it really does not understand Scottish culture at all and sometimes feels like it is making it up as it goes along, however there is enough charm to get you to enjoy it anyway.

I found the characters of Sophie and The Duke, played by Cary Elwes, to both be fun and likeable. Yes, they both had the usual cliché misunderstandings and stereotypical moments but I still found myself caring about both of the characters and their relationship as a whole. I thought the ending was sweet and it made me smile, there are enough sweet moments here to make this film a fun Christmas watch.

Overall, a lot of sweet moments and a fun Netflix Christmas film.

Pros.

It is sweet

It is funny

Shields and Elwes are both good.

Cons.

The way it portrays Scottish culture

It uses a lot of cliches

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Off The Rails: Singing Song Lyrics Out Loud To Signify You Are Sad

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of friends get together after the death of one of their member and decide to go on a European trip.

Frankly there just isn’t anything new about this film, you have seen this film before and no the film doesn’t do anything new with it.

A bigger issue with this film is the fact that it is overly sentimental and that none of its emotion comes across and genuine or heartfelt. Rather it comes across as depressing. All of the emotional moments in this film feel cliched and predictable and as such have no impact. By the end of the film you are left feeling depressed and as though you might have wasted your time.

This film makes a big deal out of the fact that it heavily features the music of Blondie, even having the characters singing lyrics in supposedly sad moments for some reason, however even as a Blondie fan I didn’t find anything particularly impressive about this. Other than the very ham-fisted way I have already mentioned the catalogue of songs are not used for any real purpose.

Overall, though I like Sally Phillips, and she is a saving grace here, this film is simply depressing and played out.

Pros.

Phillips

It is short

Cons.

It is depressing

They waste Blondie

The emotion doesn’t land and feels fake

Judy Dench is forced in for no reason

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Total Recall: One You Want To Forget

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The film deals with idea around memory and supressed lives coming to the front, and no it doesn’t have any of the cheesy fun of the Arnold Schwarzenegger version.

I hadn’t seen this film since I first saw it in cinemas all those years ago, and much like the subject of this film I must have had my memories supressed as I didn’t remember it at all, then I watched it again and all of a sudden the memories came back to me and I remember why I had forgot it. This film is aggressively average.

Colin Farrell is fine here but he is not allowed to have any fun in the role at all, and the film as a whole takes itself far too seriously. The Schwarzenegger version wasn’t a comedy by any means but it was silly enough to make it an entertaining watch, whether that was deliberate or not, this film does not have that campy charm.

Honestly this film is just a hodgepodge of generic science fiction cliches and manages to do nothing even remotely interesting.

Overall, erase these memories.

Pros.

It is watchable

The visuals are reasonably sound

Cons.

Farrell is bland

It is generic

It is on for far, far too long

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