Slice: Doomed, Delivery Drivers

Slice is a comedy horror film directed by Austin Vesely. The film takes place in a world where supernatural beings are commonplace and no longer out of the ordinary, in this particular town, ghosts have been forced to move off their land and go and live in Ghost Town, their land was then turned into a shopping centre, then a pizza parlour. As our film picks up someone or something is killing the pizza delivery people and the whole town is thrown into a state of fear. Only a ghost and a Werewolf can save the day.

This might as well be a comedy film, there is nothing scary about it. Yes, there are ghosts and witches and what not, but they are handled so calmly that they aren’t scary at all, but that is the point. As a comedy film, this is quite strong, there are a number of good jokes and amusing surprise cameos, it might not have made me laugh all the way throughout, but I was smiling a lot as I watched it.

The thing that is the most commendable about this film is the scope of it, its creativity, and its world. The first 20 minutes of the film are very exposition heavy, a lot of stuff is set up, and through this a very dense very well-crafted fantasy world is created. I would love to see more from this world where a portal to hell can appear under a pizzeria; the world reminded me in a lot of ways of the world of What We Do In The Shadows.

Zazie Beetz is a strong lead, she brings a large amount of style and personality to the role of Astrid and is also convincing as a vigilante in the closing act of the film, but we already know she can play the action hero role well, because of her role in Deadpool 2, she is easily the best actor in the film.

Overall, though it has some issues, this is still a very interesting, imaginative film that will make you laugh.

Pros.

The world.

The cameos.

Zazie Beetz.

Cons.

Most of the characters are forgettable.

It doesn’t leave a huge impact on you.

The second act is a slog.

3.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Gretel And Hansel: The Most Polarising Film Of 2020

Gretel and Hansel is a dark fantasy horror film directed by Oz Perkins. It serves as a darker, more in line with the original tale, version of the Brother Grimm’s Hansel and Gretel. The version of the story that this film explores focuses more on a wider surrounding evil, as well as Gretel (Sophia Lillis), coming into her own both as a woman and a witch.

I have mixed feelings about this film, there are some things it does really well, but there are also a lot of things it does wrong. It seems to be proving divisive amongst people online, as such I find it hard to recommend this film, but I also wouldn’t say don’t watch it.

Firstly the good. The film has a beautifully unique visual style, which is both incredibly from a technical point of view and also horrifying and striking. All of the unsettlingly good aspects of this film come from this. Also, the oppressive atmosphere of the film leads it to have some great scares especially late in the game.

However, therein lies the problem with this film. Many criticise the likes of Aster and Eggers for having slow burning horror films, that some would describe as ‘boring’, if you’re one of those people don’t watch this! This film makes Midsommar look snappy and make the Witch look like a romp; I love both of those films by the way. This film is hard to get through, it is slow, and a lot of its scenes drag out, however, unlike other films that unintentionally do this because they are poorly written/paced this film seems to be doing it deliberately.

If you stick with it until the end, you’re given an ending that much like everything else in this film proves polarising. The ending sees Gretel send Hansel (Samuel Leakey), off so she can start her life as a witch, which makes you question her morals, but this idea of others, mainly men, standing in a young woman’s way and needing to be removed is a central tenant of the film.

Lillis’ performance here, much like it was in the recent IT films is passable, but in no way impressive. I found she didn’t bring much to the role and was often out acted, it makes me question why she got the role when there are lots of other arguably, more talented young actors out there.

Overall, this isn’t a good film, this isn’t a bad film, this isn’t an average film, it is simply an incredibly, incredibly niche film.

Pros.

The horror.

The visuals.

The Witch.

Cons.

It is very hard to watch; it seems to want you to give up.

It is not going to be to many people’s taste.

Sophia Lillis is bland.

3/5

Reviewed by Luke

Spirited Away: In A Land Of Ghosts

Spirited Away is a Japanese animated fantasy film directed by Hayao Miyazaki. The film revolves around a young girl called Chihiro (Rumi Hiiragi), who becomes separated from her parents after they get turned into pigs and she gets trapped in the spirit world. The film details the friendship she forms with Haku Spirit of the Kohaku River as well as her effort to escape to the mortal world again and restore her normal life.

So, my Studio Ghibli odyssey has finally brought me to the big one, the one everyone talks about, one of if not the most important piece of Japanese animated cinema, well ever: I am of course referring to Spirited away.

I loved the world this film created, other Ghibli films have referred to and referenced the spirit world, but with this film we finally get to see it. What a sight it is, it is just so brimming with vibrancy and life, much like I have said about other Ghibli films, this film is a work of art each scene could easily be a painting if paused.

Chihiro or Sen as she is called in the spirit world is such a likeable protagonist, she is an easy character to root for and admire as she manages to hold her own when she goes to the spirt world, even though she is just a little girl.

Yubaba (Mari Natsuki), is the film’s villain an evil old witch/bird like creature that rules over the spirt world. She is responsible for turning Chihiro’s parents into pigs as well as for trapping Haku and pressing him to servitude. Much, like other Ghibli designs her character is haunting and the image of her turning into a bird chilled me and stayed with me long after the film ended.

Overall, this is a magnificent film, that is both beautiful to look at and beautiful to watch, the characters are done well, and villain is menacing. In every respect this film is a triumph.

Pros.

Beautiful animation.

Rich dense world.

Great characters.

A good menacing villain.

Cons.

It is far too long and could easily have been an hour and a half.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Tigers Are Not Afraid: Narcos Vs Ghosts

Tigers Are Not Afraid is a Mexican crime fantasy film directed by Issa Lopez. The film is about a group of orphans who are on the run from the Mexican cartel, there is also a mythical supernatural element surrounding the lead character Estrella (Paola Lara) having 3 wishes that seemingly come true; leading to horrific consequences.

This film isn’t scary, when I first put it on, I was under the impression that Tigers Are Not Afraid was a horror film, how wrong I was. This film to sum up is an hour and a half in soul destruction, it is so sad, in near everyway. The real-world cartel drama is far more impactful than the supernatural elements, because cartels exist in real life and everything that the cartel does to the kids over the course of the film probably happens hundreds of times every day; it’s scary because its real.

The idea that none of the supernatural elements are real and are instead a way for the kids to cope with everything going on around them is very interesting. The film never comes out and says this is or isn’t what is happening, but it does elude to it several times.

Whenever any of the supernatural forces show up, the style of the film changes, pictures and images appear on walls, random colour cross the screen, I liked this stylistic choice and thought it gave the film a sense of originality as it was something I had ever seen before in a film.

This film is most certainly not for everyone as there are moments that are unrelentingly sad, horrible things happen to the kids in this film and that is really hard to watch. In the final conformation of the film we see the main boy get shot through the face, by the big bad drug lord and it is traumatising.

Overall, this film is something everyone should see once, it is beautiful and unique, but it is also soul destroying and tear provoking, so by all means watch it, but be warned it is not an easy watch.

Pros.

The art style change.

The originality.

The grim reality.

Cons

The horror doesn’t really work with the drama.

It is very unpleasant and hard to watch at times.

3.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Cat Returns: Studio Ghibli Gone Bad?

The Cat Returns is a Japanese animated film directed by Hiroyuki Morita. The plot revolves around Haru (Chizuru Ikewaki), who ends up saving the life of the Cat Kingdoms Prince Lune (Takayuki Yamada), without knowing who he is. After this she is perused by the King of the Cat Kingdom, who is intent on her marrying his son. She then has to venture to the Cat Kingdom, to try and escape the whole situation.

This is the third film in my Studio Ghibli odyssey, and I have to say it is the worst thus far. Of the three films I have seen so far, this is the shortest, which you would think is a mercy, but it is not. There is nothing wrong with the start of the film or with Haru herself, she is fine, it is everything that happens from the Bureau onwards that is the problem. I understand that the Japanese culture might be slightly different from what I am used to, but all the elusions to bestiality made me feel uncomfortable. There is no other way to say it than Haru is attracted to her Cat protector and despite the film turning her into a cat midway through, don’t ask me why, it still feels wrong.

Narratively, the film is a mess, when compared to something like Princess Monokoe or My Neighbour Totoro, is a complete dumpster fire story wise. Things just happen with no rhyme or reason and the plot is so thin that when these things happen you are left saying wait what. I genuinely believe if this film did not have the Studio Ghibli name attached to it, then it wouldn’t even be considered watchable let alone good.

None of the film feels satisfying either, you don’t care about any of the characters, as they aren’t developed, they are just kind of there, the ending as well adds very little to call it an anti-climax would be an understatement.

Overall, this film just wasn’t for me, I am a cat person, but even still I found precious few things to like about it. I was left feeling uncomfortable and vaguely confused by it and one thing is for sure, that is an hour and 15 minutes of my time I am never going to get back.

Pros.

It’s only on for 75 minutes.

Haru is okay.

Cons.

It makes no sense.

The bestiality undertones.

It was a slog to get through.

1.5/5

My Neighbor Totoro: The Spirit Next Door

My Neighbour Totoro is a Japanese animated fantasy film directed by Hayao Miyazaki. The plot focuses on a family that moves to a new house, which is also home to a number of spirits. The two young girls of the family Satsuki (Noriko Hidaka), and Mei (Chika Sakamoto), make friends with the spirits and their colourful leader Totoro. The film deals with the interactions between the family and the spirits.

This film is childhood innocence incarnate, the girls and their relationship with Totoro is so wholesome and pure it reminds me of all the fun I had with my imaginary friends when I was child. Totoro himself is both huge and terrifying, but also cute and cuddly. He is one of the most interesting animated characters I have seen in a long time and that is mainly because we don’t know a lot about him.

Despite all this sweetness and light, there is a hidden darkness behind it all. The mother of the girls is in hospital for unspecified reason and there is a constant threat that she is going to die; which is heart-breaking for the girl’s sake. There is also a scene in the film where it looks like the little girl might be lost or hurt and it genuinely puts you on edge. I think this added aspect gives older people something to enjoy, which makes it a good film for parents and kids to watch together.

There is one scene in the film that bothered me, I don’t know why it was there and it made me uncomfortable. This is of course the bathroom scene, where the dad and two girls are naked in a draw out scene, you don’t see anything, but it is incredibly unnecessary. The scene adds nothing to the film as a whole and it makes you question why it was left in the final cut.

Finally, I loved the colour and animation style of this film and I thought that much like the other Studio Ghibli film I have seen recently Princess Mononoke, every scene could be a painting. The art style is different enough to give to a distinct personality, but there is also a familiarity to it.

Overall, I liked this film it reminded me of my childhood, my only issue with it was that one-bathroom scene that I thought was totally unnecessary. Totoro is incredibly cute.

Pros.

The art style.

The child-like wonder, but also the more adult moments.

Totoro himself.

Cons.

That scene.

The cat bus thing was scary and haunting.

3/5

Reviewed by Luke

Hellboy: Hell On Earth

Hellboy (2019) is a superhero film directed by Neil Marshall, based on the Dark Horse comic character of the same name. This film entirely ignores the Del Toro films that came before it and instead acts as a reboot of the series, moving away from family friendly territory and into Deadpool esque R-rated waters. The plot sees Hellboy, (David Harbour), try and stop a centuries old witch Vivienne Nimue (Mila Jovovich) from unleashing Hell on Earth.

I know this film was a bomb and a lot of people didn’t like it and the Del Toro films are better in a lot of ways, but I actually enjoyed this film; controversial I know. Before I get into why I liked it, I just want to say yeah I know this film has a lot of problems, the CGI ghost people that come out of Alice’s (Sasha Lane), throat are terrible and look like a child made them on After Effects and yes the plot line that Hellboy knew Alice as a child, but now she is kind of like his love interest for some reason, is creepy. That aside this is why I liked the film.

I like how this film sets up a larger world, you feel like there is more at play here than meets the eye, I like how it brings fantasy to a 21^st century version of London. I am also a massive Hellboy comics fan as well as the B.P.R.D so to see characters and elements of that world that the Del Toro films didn’t cover on screen was a blast for me.

I liked the fact that we got new characters rather than seeing the same team from the previous films, made up of Liz, Hellboy and Abe Saipan. Daniel Day Kim’s Ben Daimio is so cool, and the scene when he turns into a Werejugar is easily my favourite scene of the whole film, Alice is also a cool character, even if her powers look terrible.

Moreover, though it might sound heretical to say I like David Harbour as Hellboy. I think the film overdoes it with the jokes and the quips, trying far too hard to be like Deadpool, just like a certain superhero film that came out in 2020, despite this I like his take on the character and I would have liked to see more of him. Harbour plays the character with a lot of charm and warmth, he isn’t as brooding as Pearlman was with the character, but I think it is a good thing that this film tried to take the character in a new direction.

Finally, the practical effects on Baba Yaga were great, this was another highlight of the film for me. I am not going to get into the Pig monster thing: because I think the whole character was needless and the film could have done without that sub-plot.

Overall, this film is nothing like the Del Toro films, but I think that’s the point. If you can appreciate it for the dumb, schlocky fun that it is then there is a lot to like about this film. If not, you can take comfort in the fact their most certainly won’t be a sequel.

Pros.

Fresh take.

David Harbour.

New team with a tease of the old.

The practical effect on Baba Yaga.

Cons.

Terrible visual effects/icky subplots.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Onward: A Tale Of Two Brothers

Onward is a computer animated urban fantasy film directed by Dan Scanlon. The plot sees two elf brothers Ian (Tom Holland), and Barley (Chris Pratt), go on a mythical quest to find a rare gem that can bring their dead father back to Earth for one day. The themes of this film are family and being proud of who you are as a person/ being more confident.

On the surface this seems like just another fantasy animated film, the themes and motivations feel samey, but the emotional impact of the film as a whole is what elevates it over mediocrity. I don’t have any siblings, but even I was feeling something when at the end of the film Ian went without his chance to meet his father so Barley could say a proper goodbye to him instead; I can only imagine how impactful this scene would be if you actually had siblings to draw parallels with.

I think Ian and Barley as characters are perfectly fine, they’re serviceable enough, they won’t join Pixar’s pantheon of beloved animated characters, that’s for sure. Pratt seems to be doing his best Jack Black circa 2005 impression, which is okay, and he is probably the character I like the most. I like the energy and good nature the character has; he is the only character I was invested in.

Ian on the other hand I found annoying, I don’t know if it was the writing or Tom Holland’s performance, but I never warmed to his character, even by the end of the film I still felt very little for him. To me, the character seemed overly whiny, he complained and bitched and moaned at every turn, I get that his character is supposed to be sad, but he sucked the fun out of every scene he was in. What’s more Ian treats his brother like dirt for a good 3 quarters of the film, he doesn’t care about his brother getting to see their dad, no he never considers that, just what he wants and his time with their dad, moreover he openly calls his brother a screw up, even though all his brother has done up until that point is try and help him. So yeah in a film about brotherhood and brotherly love, to have your main character treat his well-intentioned brother, as a moron he would rather not have to deal with is a weird character decision.

Overall, this is not a great film, nor is it a terrible one, it is just fine. There are some neat Shrek esque ideas of display here, but they are never really tapped into, the emotional impact is good, but Ian and the side characters aren’t, it is a textbook example of a mid-tier Pixar film.

Pros.

The emotional impact/ wholesomeness

Chris Pratt’s Jack Black impression.

Neat fantasy elements.

Cons.

Ian is whiny and annoying.

I was never really blown away by any of it.

3/5

Reviewed by Luke

Princess Mononoke: The War For The Forest

Princess Mononoke is an animated fantasy film directed by Hayao Miyazaki. The plot follows Prince Ashitaka (Yoji Matsuda), a young man who becomes cursed after a demon touches him while he is protecting his village: this curse will corrupt and eventually kill Ashitaka if it is not lifted. As such he ventures out into the wilds to find a cure. Along the way he ends up caught in the middle of a battle between the forces of the forest lead by a giant wolf called Moro (Akihiro Miwa), and a giant boar called Okkoto-nushi (Hisaya Morishige) and the humans of Iron Town lead by Lady Eboshi (Yuko Tanaka) who are backed by the might of the Emperor.

This was my first time watching a Studio Ghibli film, shocking I know right, and I just have to say it was fantastic, it was unlike anything I have ever seen before. Each frame of the hand drawn animation looked like a beautiful painting, there were many scenes where I was amazed by the level of detail that had gone in to creating this world. The world itself felt so real, it felt like the kind of thing that could have existed one day years ago.

The relationship between Ashitaka and San (Yuriko Ishida), is beautiful and very wholesome. We see each learn to trust each other more over time and eventually realise the feelings they have for one another. Also, their union represents the coming together of humans and nature, which I think is an interesting contrast, especially in these current times, however sadly it shows that ultimately humans will destroy nature for their own ends, the film suggests an inevitability to it.

The final thing I want to talk about is the Forest Spirit. It is the head of this spirit and its believed mythical abilities that caused the war in the first place, it is the life of the Forest Spirit that the forces of the forest are fighting for. However, the creature itself is the stuff of nightmares, it is deer like in a lot of ways, but it has a human face and the first time I saw it, I’m not going to lie, it scared me a bit; I thought it was going to turn out to be a demon, but no. The spirits haunting eyes will say with you long after you turn the film off; just staring contently into your soul.

Overall, a wonderful experience rich with culture and meaning, I will definitely be checking out more Studio Ghibli films in the future as I thought this was superb.

Pros.

The balance between nature and industrialisation.

The believable world.

The fantasy elements.

San and Ashitaka.

Cons.

The Spirit of the Forest will haunt my dreams for years to come.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Aladdin: Disney If You’re Listening Please Stop!

Aladdin is a musical romantic adventure film directed by Guy Ritchie. The plot follows a young street urchin called Aladdin (Mena Massoud), who finds a magical lamp that when rubbed produces a Genie (Will Smith), that then offers him 3 wishes. We all know the classic story.

This is yet another one of Disney’s live action remakes that they seem hell bent on making, even though the animated films are still perfectly good and more importantly no one asked for these new films. Personally, I think of the Disney live action remake trend this is probably the best, Will Smith is entertaining and it is a good date movie, it is very romantic at times.

That said let me get into why this film shouldn’t exist. First things first the very existence of this film is an implied slight to the animation, I know in Western countries there is that underlying belief that animation and animated films are for kids, which simply isn’t true, but even still this film is vastly inferior to the animated original in almost every way.

The characters lack any kind of warmth, the characters in the animated film are funny and endearing, you care about them and want them to be happy; here they’re just eh, I have literally never thought about them again since I left the cinema. Massoud is fine, so are the rest of the cast, but therein lies the problem they’re just fine, they’re trying to be as good as the animated original’s voice cast were and they come up short.

What’s more there is a general cheapness to the film, it is clearly an aesthetic choice to make the film look gritty, but I didn’t like it, it made the film look too washed out and serves to reinforce the lack of fun in this film. What’s more there is a lot of things in this film that date it, that in 5 years’ time people will be like that was such a 2010’s film, which in a way makes it bound to that time period and that isn’t a good thing. The thing that dates it of course is the new song for the film, which is incredibly on the nose and proves that Hollywood doesn’t understand the meaning of the word subtly and instead has to ram political messages into every single film; political messages if done right can be effective, but all this served to make me do was cringe.

My final reason for why you shouldn’t waste your money seeing this is because very little is new. As was the common complaint of The Lion King, which was shot for shot the same, there is little new material in this film, there are a few extra Will Smith Genie scenes and a new song, but everything else is pretty much beat for beat the same. I wouldn’t mind paying to see these live action remakes if they actually did something new, but they don’t, it is just a tired rehash and one I can’t support.

Pros.

It is romantic.

If you wanted a less fun version of the original film, you will be in luck.

Cons.

The cheap, gritty look to it.

The new song was bad cringe.

It is just paying to watch the same thing again.

2/5

Reviewed by Luke