The Innocents: Where Is The Line When Showing Animal Abuse On Screen?

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of troubled children develop otherworldly abilities and use their powers for sinister means.

I forget who said it now, but a reviewer of this film that enjoyed it far more than I did said of it something to the extent of ‘finally a film for adults’, no doubt in a jab at the mindless blockbusters many don’t view as true cinema. However, I want to pose the idea that if this often excessive and unpleasant film is true cinema then maybe it isn’t such a good thing.

There are two examples I would like to point to that soured the film for me, both happen fairly early on and it only gets worse from there. The first is when a heavily disabled girl is tortured by our lead, played by Rakel Lenora Fløttum, and the second is when the lead and her friend shove a cat into a sack and then drop it from a height onto the ground. I understand that these elements are to show that the child is twisted and sadistic, but in my mind this is communicated to the audience in a needlessly tasteless way. A defence for this could be that it is a horror film so we can expect sights that sicken and disturb us, however, at least for me this crossed a line.

Animal abuse in film is always hard for me to watch.

Overall, this film was a bit too rich for my personal taste.

Pros.

The child actors do feel genuinely menacing

Cons.

The animal abuse

Bad taste

Pacing issues

The plot feels overly familiar

Some meandering subplots

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The Ghosts Of Borley Rectory: Britain’s Most Famous Ghost Hunter

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Famed paranormal investigator Harry Price, played by Toby Wynn-Davis, investigates the most haunted house in the UK, Borley Rectory.

In many ways this is what you would expect from a straight to DVD film, it is cheap, derivative and looks slightly better than what a decidedly average film studies student may create for an assignment. However, it is not all bad because in that see of roughness I did find some fun to be had.

I enjoyed the atmosphere of this film and thought that it did have a number of good scares peppered in over the course of the runtime. The demon nun angle was a bit cliched and overplayed and felt a little bit too much like they were trying to rip-off better films.

I thought Wynn-Davis was a commendable leading man and managed to keep everything together and going in the right direction. I don’t know if I would say this is the best take on the life and investigations of Harry Price I have ever seen however, as I think Rafe Spall was better in Harry Price: Ghost Hunter.

Overall, a slightly above average horror film with a few good scares. However, it is lowered by feeling too familiar and at times a little predictable.

Pros.

A few good scares

The atmosphere

Wynn-Davis

Cons.

It feels like a knock-off version of other better films

It is deeply predictable

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Morbius: The Kind Of Film That Reminds You How Good Dracula Untold Was

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Michael Morbius, played by Jared Leto, develops a cure to the terminal illness that has plagued him since birth, however, his cure also turns him into a living vampire.

I am starting to see a lot of aesthetic similarities between Sony’s Venomverse and the Dark Universe, it is in the fact that so far every Venomverse film has felt like an edgy emo teenagers dream with that being especially true with this film. To further the parallels between the Venomverse and the Dark Universe this reminded me in a lot of ways of Dracula Untold, it has a very similar vibe and a lot of the bat related CGI effects feel like they carry over between the films. The writers of this film also wrote Dracula Untold and you can tell in almost every line of dialogue, in many ways a lot of the emotional elements and plot devices from Untold end up bleeding over into this film.

I think Leto was miscast in the role and doesn’t even seem awake for most of the film, to me at least it seemed more like Leto didn’t want to be there and was probably only there to get paid. Leto is a problematic actor and it is for that reason I didn’t watch this in the cinema when it came out, instead waiting for my friend to rent it on VOD so that I could watch it on a visit. No one is on good form here, bar I suppose for Matt Smith you at least seems to be having some fun. I wish Smith could have chosen a better project to jump onto the superhero train with.

I won’t even get into the post credits scene, which yes is as bad as you have heard. There is no rhyme or reason for this scene it stands in the face of any kind of logic, not making sense through No Way Home’s spell idea. It seems the only reason this exists is for the Sony executives, who can’t sleep at night unless they are running comic book characters into the ground, who want a Sinister Six movie for some reason even though the team has little wide appeal or brand value but hey. It makes no sense that Morbius who has spent the film not killing anyone bar the mercenaries at the beginning would team up with Michael Keaton’s Vulture to go and hunt down Spider-Man, it is just dumb.

Overall, a deeply average movie that you probably shouldn’t watch unless you are looking to be bored.

Pros.

It reminded me how much I liked Dracula Untold

Jared Harris

Matt Smith

Cons.

Leto

It is boring

The post credits scene is awful

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Firestarter: The Remade Stephen King Universe

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A remake of Stephen King’s Firestarter. The plot follows Charlie, played by Ryan Keira Armstrong, a young girl hunted down for her supernatural powers.

A lot of reviewers out there are giving this film very low scores and personally I can’t see why. I don’t know if they were very attached to either King’s original novel or the previous film, but I haven’t read or seen those so I can only judge this film based on its own merits and not compare it to anything else.

I thought for the most part this film was good, the tension was well done and I got vibes of Doctor Sleep in this regard. I thought John Rainbird, played by Michael Greyeyes, was fantastic until the final 10 minutes, he gave off a strong amount of supernatural intrigue as such you constantly wanted to know more about his character but the film didn’t reveal anything which I thought was a smart move. Moreover, Zac Effron also did a great job here further proving his serious acting chops, I thought during the psychic battle sequences he was incredibly.

Another highpoint for me was the score composed by John Carpenter, his son Cody Carpenter and David Davies. It felt like the perfect 80’s call back mixed with just the right amount of excitement and intensity.

However, it wasn’t all roses. I thought the CGI fire effects were poor, to make matters worse whenever Charlie used her powers the camera would cut to a close up of her face with the fires happening off screen which felt cheap and obvious. In addition, there were several moments in this film were it became unintentionally hilarious and made me laugh out loud in the cinema, I don’t think that is what the filmmakers were going for. Finally the ending of Charlie forgiving Rainbird and then going with him despite all the trauma he has inflicted upon her makes no sense and just seems forced in so that the film can have a happy ending.

Overall, above average and certainly with redeemable elements despite not being a great film.

Pros.

The score

Effron

The mystery of Rainbird

The tension

Cons.

The ending

The cheap CGI

It is unintentionally hilarious

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The Cellar: Apparently Hell Can’t Afford A Lift

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A family move into a house in rural Ireland and not long after their daughter goes missing.

This won’t win any awards for originality, as the above premise suggests. However, I do think this was a surprisingly effective horror film and it left me feeling suitably unsettled. I would say the scares landed for the most part, and I liked some of the more out there visuals they went for. The ending was quite intriguing as well and it left me with a number of questions, which is always a good thing if done well.

My issues with this film boil down to one simple thing, Elisha Cuthbert. Cuthbert is the lead of this film so that American audiences can have a familiar face to cling to, I think this is a bad move. It makes no sense that the rest of the family have Irish accents and sound the part and Cuthbert blatantly doesn’t. Her performance is also not good and certainly holds the film back in a number of ways.

Overall, despite not really being anything new what is here works well, bar Cuthbert, and produces some good scares.

Pros.

The ending

The scares

The wider mystery

Cons.

Cuthbert

The pacing

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Shining Vale: Courtney Cox’s Comeback

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A series about a struggling writer, played by Courtney Cox, who moves out to the country after cheating on her husband, played by Greg Kinnear, and shortly thereafter finds herself coming under the influence of a demon, maybe?

I thought this series had a lot of potential but was quite rough around the edges. Firstly, I thought the social commentary aspect of the show where it talked about struggles with addiction and mental illness, mainly from a female perspective, was for the most part pretty on point. However, there were times when I found the show to be really ramming its message home and operating without any subtlety at all, and a lot can be said for a point made well in a subtle manner being more thought provoking.

Moreover, I thought for the most part the cast was strong, however, I thought Cox played it a bit too straight and at times it came across as though she was just playing a version of her character from Scream. I think a case could be made that Cox was miscast for this show, especially because it is supposed to be a comedy.

For me the comedy didn’t really land either, there were a few moments that made me chuckle but by and large it left me cold.

Overall, a show with undeniable potential but one that needs to be refined and possibly recast.

Pros.

An interesting idea

A few strong points

A strong ending

Cons.

Cox

Sometimes a bit too in your face with its social commentary

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Doctor Strange Into The Multiverse Of Madness: You Better Have Watched All The Disney + Shows

4.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Following on from the events of Wandavision Wanda, played by Elizabeth Olsen, goes on a multiverse wide rampage to try and get her kids back, forcing Doctor Strange, played by Benedict Cumberbatch, and other mystical characters to try and stop her.

I think this may be my favourite Marvel film to date, or certainly up there in the top 3, I really enjoyed the Raimi elements to this film and I thought the horror sequences were terrific. I liked that this film felt a little darker and more supernatural than the rest of the MCU it gives me hope for characters like Blade and Ghost Rider. I thought the Raimi esque shot choices and transitions were just superb, it really gave this film a sense of identity all its own.

Moreover, despite some of the more unrefined criticism of this film saying how they turned Wanda into a bad guy, I thought this film did great things for her character and felt like a natural carry over from where the end of Wandavision left her. In the comics the character is deeply mentally unstable and crazy powerful this felt a true reflection of that, this idea that Wanda is a superhero and that she is a force for good only, is both not true and also just a creation of the MCU- one they now seem to be breaking.

I thought the new character of America Chavez, played by Xochitl Gomez was great she easily held her own both with Strange and Cumberbatch and I eagerly await to see what else they do with her character, most likely a Young Avengers show or film. In that same vein, I thought this film added a lot to most of the characters from the previous Doctor Strange film that helped to make them feel more rounded. I liked Strange and Wong’s, played by Benedict Wong, relationship and how Strange eventually comes to respect Wong as the new Sorcerer Supreme and also thought the film did justice to Rachel McAdams’ Christine from the first film, tying that up nicely.

The things I didn’t like about this film were all quite minor, firstly I didn’t like the Illuminati I thought it felt far too much like blatant fan service and thought there was no point to them existing other than to give Wanda people to tear apart. I did like the Black Bolt, played by Anson Mount, death however, I thought that was gutsy and some nice unexpected gore. Secondly, I have issues with the post credits scenes, with the first I think it is too unclear what is going on, moreover unless you are an avid comics reader you will not know who Clea, played by Charlize Theron, is and will be left baffled. The second post credits scene is just annoying and makes you feel like you have wasted your time. Thirdly, I didn’t like Strange’s relationship with Baron Mordo, played by Chiwetel Ejiofor, it felt very much like some scenes were missing there as there relationship made no sense being where it was based off the ending of the previous film.

Overall, I think this film is brave, brutal and great for the MCU. I hope very much they can talk Raimi into coming back to do more movies.

Pros.

The horror elements and the Raimi feel of the film

Wanda’s progression

Strange and Christine and Strange and Wong

America Chavez

The ending

Cons.

Too many cameos

Uneven storytelling with Mordo

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The Curse Of Robert: The Horrors Of The Netflix Algorithm

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

This is what happens when you trust a Netflix recommendation. A possessed doll film.

As the summary suggests Netflix thought I would like to watch this film so I put it on, and my my it was bad. I will give it credit for being exactly what I was expecting it to be, and also having some quirky B movie esque charm, but that is where my praise for this film ends.

An important point that I think should be noted up front is that I fell asleep whilst watching this film and then had to go back and finish it off, this was not at night dear reader oh no this was late afternoon, such is the film. To say it is boring and generic would be an understatement.

This film was clearly made to cash in on the recent trend of possessed doll films, see Annabelle and its various sequels, but somehow this film managed to screw up even that basic concept. What makes the Annabelle films scary is the demon that is attached to the doll that goes around and kills people, whereas here they forgo that and have the doll randomly come to life and kill people Chucky style but without any of Brad Dourif’s charm.

Overall, a forgettable possessed doll film.

Pros.

It is watchable

It is unintentionally funny at times

Cons.

It is boring

It is generic

It is nothing you haven’t seen before

It feels derivative

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The Wicker Man: Nicolas Cage In Bearskin

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A film about bees, bears and Nicolas Cage.

Honestly I was disappointed by this, I went into it expecting a weird Nicolas Cage film that is so bad it is good but instead I was met with a sleepwalker affair riddled with plot holes and lacking any sense of originality.

In some respects this film wants to set itself apart from the original Wicker Man and do its own thing, however, in other cases the film is shot for shot the same as it. This goes beyond homage and just feels like a blatant attempt to copy what worked from the original.

Moreover, something that bothered me about this film was Cage’s characters disappearing gun. So the original film is set in the UK where most police officers don’t carry guns, unless they are armed response, however, in the States it is far more common for police officers to carry guns yet Cage’s character seems to forget this until the last few moments of the film. There are a number of situations in this film wherein I was like surely he will bring out his gun for this, but no. I think this was done to try and amp up the tension in the film, however, if this was the goal then it makes no sense to bring it out for the final showdown.

Furthermore, the bees bit which has featured in so many memes wasn’t actually that good and for the most part Cage’s signature blend of crazy was played down, in my mind much to the film’s detriment. I think if the filmmakers had let Cage go more off the rails the film would have been infinitely better.

Overall, a mid-tier Cage movie that is pretty forgettable

Pros.

A few laughs to be had

It does at times try and do its own thing

The ending

Cons.

The plot holes

It doesn’t go far enough

It is too derivative in places

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X: Pornstars Versus The American South

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Ti West’s latest offering, of questionable taste, is porn stars verse an old couple with I guess super powers?

Obviously I am having somewhat of a laugh by suggesting that the old couple has super powers, but the film does seem to suggest that. Not only do they teleport around, the old lady, played by Mia Goth, seems to be everywhere at the same time, but they also perform kills on people half their age who are much more physically fit than them that can only be explained away by them possessing super strength, and pitch perfect accuracy.

On a more serious note a lot of people have lorded this film as a loving homage to exploitation horror flicks of the past, with Texas Chainsaw Massacre being an often made comparison. However, I think this film wishes it could be like those films rather than it actually being like them or is in anyway a homage. To me at least, it was a deeply generic slasher film that has been done a hundred times before and also much better than this, if that is what homage means then I have had the wrong definition all these years.

I will give the film prompts for its odd cult like religious elements they were by far the most interesting part of the film, but were explored nowhere near enough- hopefully the prequel can readdress them in more detail.

West tries to push the boundaries by including quite graphic sex scenes, but this just comes off as desperate and gimmicky. Bear in mind in a world cinema context these scenes are nothing and are practically puritanical, however within the deeply conservative world of Hollywood sex scenes these are challenging, and will leave you feeling more than a little awkward if you watch them in company.

Overall, a passable slasher film, but in no way deserving of the praise it has gotten.

Pros.

It is watchable

The gore is strong

I liked the religious cult like elements

Cons.

The sex scenes feel desperate

It is very generic

It has significant pacing issues

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