Emergency: The Responsible Thing To Do

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Two college students, played by RJ Cyler and Donald Elise Watkins, plan to go on a seven party tour, however, these plans are turned upside down when a drunken underage girl falls into their care.

This film really didn’t know what it wanted to be. The dramatic elements and the comedic elements worked against each other totally. The drama of the film couldn’t be properly developed as the film spent too long trying to be funny and takes breaks away from its seriousness to try and crack wise, and likewise the comedy is mostly ditched in order to try and make a serious point. Neither thing is done well due to the other.

In interviews, people involved with the film view the shift within it as some what of a subversion, going from what you would think of as a teen sex comedy into more of a political dramatic film with a message. However, it is not as clever as that makes it out to be, basically they have sex jokes for the first half of the film and then force in a bunch of politics in the second half to try and seem deep and to have a point. As you might be able to guess the message doesn’t really land and the whole thing just comes off as pretentious.

There are a few funny lines here and there, hence why the film doesn’t get lower, but for the most part this is a slog to get through.

Overall, nowhere near as clever as it thinks it is.

Pros.

A few funny jokes

A good message, though it is poorly communicated

Cons.

The message is poorly done and feels forced in

The film feels pretentious and smug

The opening scene about trigger warnings is cringey as hell

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The Valet: The Incredibly Tame Wilds Of Star On Disney +

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A starlet, played by Samara Weaving, pretends to go out with a valet, played by Eugenio Derbez, in order to cover up the fact she is having an affair with a married man.

Right from the get-go I felt like I had seen this film before, everything about it felt familiar. Some have praised this film for subverting rom-com cliches by not having the two actually fall in love in the end, but again I fell like that has been done before. Moreover, it is not a shock that the two don’t end up together as the film never really even hints at that, furthermore, in the current climate an age gap romance like that would prove problematic and there is no way Disney would do anything to be deliberately provocative.

Weaving has charm that is undeniable, and it really does feel like she is the only one who has turned up here. Derbez who was great in How To Be A Latin Lover feels flat and unenthused, he isn’t the only one either as the rest of the cast including New Girls’ Max Greenfield feel like they are just there for the pay check.

I thought the film was vaguely watchable as it allowed me to turn my brain off, but I would never really say I was entertained during my time with it.

Overall, below average but watchable.

Pros.

Weaving

It is watchable

Cons.

Most of the cast are sleeping walking their way through this film

It is not funny

It feels obvious and overly familiar

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Knowing: Nicolas Cage And His Piece Of Paper Are The Key To Stopping Climate Change

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Nicolas Cage finds a paper that when deciphered contains dates and revealing clues for global natural disasters.

You might have noticed above that I didn’t write the character’s name but rather I put that Nicolas Cage found the paper, that is because one can’t make an argument for Cage playing a role here he is playing full on Cage in a shoddy b-movie esque science fiction film complete with freak outs and random spurts of violence.

I found a lot of the ideas and concepts to be recycled, having been done better in other science fiction projects. Moreover, unlike other reviewers I didn’t think the ending saved the film but rather condemned it, that is because it is far too broad and open, though to some that can be a good thing I found it to be rather rambling and aimless.

The reason I have given this film mid marks rather than lower is because there is a lot of unintentional comedy here, which whilst clearly not what the filmmakers wanted, does make the film a lot more watchable and enjoyable. When I stopped looking at this film as a serious science fiction film and instead as a silly Nicolas Cage movie I enjoyed it a lot more.

Overall, Cage can be both a blessing and a curse to the projects he is in.

Pros.

It is unintentionally hilarious

It is watchable

Cage

Cons.

Cage

The ending

It feels generic

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Navalny: Calling Up Your Would Be Murderers

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

This documentary follows Alexei Navalny in the aftermath of the attempt on his life by the Russian Government as he tries to find out who the assassins were and continues his fight against the Russian regime.

I thought this was a hugely eye opening documentary, not in that it revealed anything that I didn’t already know, but because it highlighted to me the impunity with which the Russian government is able to influence things abroad and the complete control they have at home. With the current war in Ukraine this feels especially relevant and chilling.

I thought the tone of the documentary was a nice mix of happiness and sadness, obviously a lot of the events depicted are manically depressing, but there are some moments of levity peppered throughout, such as the scenes with the pony which I particularly enjoyed. Moreover, on the pacing front I liked that this documentary didn’t spend very long at all explaining who Navalny was and assumed that its audience already had a degree of knowledge on the subject. It is nice for media to have that faith in the audience.

Overall, I think this documentary is a must watch, especially with the current geo-political situation being what it is.

Pros.

It is very informative

It is inspirational

It maintains a good tone and pace

The pony scenes

Cons.

Some of the scenes feel a little disjointed and out of place

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France: A Highbrow Satire That Won’t Leave Many Laughing

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A well respected French journalist, played by Léa Seydoux, decides to quit her job and seek new horizons after she has a road traffic accident that leads to someone else getting hurt.

In many ways I think the humour of this film just didn’t register with me, there were a few lines that made me laugh and I think the film did manage to formulate some competent satire of the modern media landscape at times, but for the most part the jokes left me cold. This could be humour lost in translation that if I was French I would understand and appreciate or it could just be my subjective comedic tastes not aligning with this film.

I think the biggest issues I had with this film is that the tone seemed so all over the place, at times coming across as a drama and other times as a dark comedy. The issue with trying for both is that often neither comes off well, this was certainly the case here as both the dramatic elements and the comedic elements felt underdeveloped.

The performances were good and I can’t fault Seydoux she did all she could to keep this film together, a valiant effort, however, it wasn’t enough.

The worst crime of this film is that it can be labelled as boring.

Overall, Seydoux tries her best but this film just doesn’t seem to know what it wants to be and comes across as boring.

Pros.

A few funny lines

Seydoux

Cons.

A lot of the humour doesn’t land

The split focus

It is boring

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The Innocents: Where Is The Line When Showing Animal Abuse On Screen?

0.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of troubled children develop otherworldly abilities and use their powers for sinister means.

I forget who said it now, but a reviewer of this film that enjoyed it far more than I did said of it something to the extent of ‘finally a film for adults’, no doubt in a jab at the mindless blockbusters many don’t view as true cinema. However, I want to pose the idea that if this often excessive and unpleasant film is true cinema then maybe it isn’t such a good thing.

There are two examples I would like to point to that soured the film for me, both happen fairly early on and it only gets worse from there. The first is when a heavily disabled girl is tortured by our lead, played by Rakel Lenora Fløttum, and the second is when the lead and her friend shove a cat into a sack and then drop it from a height onto the ground. I understand that these elements are to show that the child is twisted and sadistic, but in my mind this is communicated to the audience in a needlessly tasteless way. A defence for this could be that it is a horror film so we can expect sights that sicken and disturb us, however, at least for me this crossed a line.

Animal abuse in film is always hard for me to watch.

Overall, this film was a bit too rich for my personal taste.

Pros.

The child actors do feel genuinely menacing

Cons.

The animal abuse

Bad taste

Pacing issues

The plot feels overly familiar

Some meandering subplots

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Chip ‘N Dale Rescue Rangers: The Return Of Monstrous Sonic

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Yet another classic Disney property gets the reboot treatment.

I will preface this review by saying I did not grow up watching Chip an’ Dale and that this film was my first introduction to the characters. In that regard I felt like I understood who everyone was and what was going on so I appreciated that, there is nothing worse than watching a reboot and being entirely lost because it was based off an obscure property from a few decades ago.

Moreover, I did think this film had a few solid laughs, I enjoyed Ugly Sonic, voiced by Tim Robinson, and thought the film got a hell of a lot better when he was in it, I also thought J. K Simmons proved once again how great his comedic timing is and really shone as Captain Putty. The human characters fare far worse and really don’t need to be there at all, if KiKi Layne’s police officer character wasn’t in the film it wouldn’t really change it much at all.

I thought that the story structure and character arcs were a little generic and also far too overly familiar. I understand that expecting quality writing from an animated film aimed at children might be too much to ask for but I am still going to point it out.

Overall, it was a slightly above average film with a few good laughs.

Pros.

Ugly Sonic

Simmons
Samberg is always likeable

Cons.

Layne

The characters across the board feel generic and fairly two dimensional

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Everything Everywhere All At Once: Mothers Can Be Saviors Or Destroyers

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Evelyn Quan Wang, played by Michelle Yeoh, is a dissatisfied wife and business owner who becomes alerted to her multiversal significance.

In many respects the idea of multiverses in cinema is quickly becoming played out, a trend bound for death. However, I won’t be so cynical to say that the multiverse formatting can’t yet provide us with some interesting ideas, insights and emotions. This film proves that through the idea of a multiverse greater philosophies can be debated and explored, and the inner workings of the human mind can truly be taken apart and examined.

I really enjoyed the character work in this film as well as the mother daughter focus. Yes, I did think that having Evelyn’s daughter Joy, played by Stephanie Hsu, being the villain was a little obvious and on the nose, however, I also thought that despite this the film used their relationship to create fantastic emotional stakes and to nicely examine the concepts of motherhood.

The thing that many people will take from this film is how strange it is, there are often abstract and surrealist elements featured throughout the run of the film, and I think in many cases you aren’t supposed to fully understand what is going on so that you can form your own interpretation of events. I appreciated how strange this film got.

Overall, a fun film that won’t be for everyone but is well worth your time all the same.

Pros.

Yeoh

Hsu

The broader themes

The abstract strangeness

Cons.

The pacing, the film is on for way too long

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Senior Year: Is Rebel Wilson The Female James Corden?

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Rebel Wilson plays a seventeen year old who falls into a coma after a cheerleading accident waking up 20 years into the future and having to go back to finish off her senior year.

Prior to watching this I thought it was going to be trash, almost every red flag a film can give you was presented up front, a Netflix original, an adult going back to high school, cliched teens and finally the fact it starred Rebel Wilson. However, once I started watching it I actually found myself somewhat enjoying it and thinking that it wasn’t all bad at all.

The things I enjoyed were three fold, I thought the sentimentality was just right and that it managed to nail the emotional appeal it was going for, I also thought bringing back Alicia Silverstone, of Clueless fame, to play Wilson’s characters prom queen icon who has fallen on hard times was a stroke of genius, and finally the film features Sam Richardson it is very hard to go wrong with him.

However, by no means was this a great or even particularly good film. The mean girls rivalry between Wilson’s character and Zoe Chao’s Tiffany felt forced in and cliched. Moreover, the teen characters who become Wilson’s friends are all incredibly insufferable, they make constant references to contemporary political issues, social media and what it is not okay to say: to make matters even more on the nose in the final scene of the film one of these kids say that they are going to run for office- I groaned louder then I ever have in my life. I truly believe the trio of ageing male writers who put this screenplay together have no idea how kids talk, what they are interested in, or that not every single member of Gen Z is an activist.

Don’t even get me started on the ending dance number that feels like a throwback for the all the wrong reasons.

Overall, not as bad as you are expecting but still not strong.

Pros.

The sentimentality

Silverstone

Richardson

Cons.

All the teen characters

The ending dance number

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The Ghosts Of Borley Rectory: Britain’s Most Famous Ghost Hunter

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Famed paranormal investigator Harry Price, played by Toby Wynn-Davis, investigates the most haunted house in the UK, Borley Rectory.

In many ways this is what you would expect from a straight to DVD film, it is cheap, derivative and looks slightly better than what a decidedly average film studies student may create for an assignment. However, it is not all bad because in that see of roughness I did find some fun to be had.

I enjoyed the atmosphere of this film and thought that it did have a number of good scares peppered in over the course of the runtime. The demon nun angle was a bit cliched and overplayed and felt a little bit too much like they were trying to rip-off better films.

I thought Wynn-Davis was a commendable leading man and managed to keep everything together and going in the right direction. I don’t know if I would say this is the best take on the life and investigations of Harry Price I have ever seen however, as I think Rafe Spall was better in Harry Price: Ghost Hunter.

Overall, a slightly above average horror film with a few good scares. However, it is lowered by feeling too familiar and at times a little predictable.

Pros.

A few good scares

The atmosphere

Wynn-Davis

Cons.

It feels like a knock-off version of other better films

It is deeply predictable

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