Joyride: Olivia Colman Massively Misjudged This One, The Height Of Toxicity

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A woman, played by Olivia Colman, who plans to give up her baby is kidnapped by a young runaway and apparently the whole ordeal forces her to change her mind.

This film is fairly toxic, the script clearly intends to heavily sink into issues surrounding motherhood and to ponder the nuances of it, however, instead that is not how it comes across in practice. The message this film has about motherhood in that the only reason Colman’s character wanted to give up her child was because she was having cold feet feels sexist. In truth if this film had been directed by a man this toxic simplification, coupled with the belief this film has that the woman who is giving up her baby should be kidnapped and have her mind changed over the course of a road trip, would have been labelled widely problematic and it would never have seen the light of day.

Moreover, though I like Olivia Colman as an actor and have followed her ever since the way back time of her Peep Show days, I think she needs to find a new schtick. Playing cold unnatural mothers becomes repetitive after you have done it several films on the trot and though some warmth does manage to find its way through here really it is just more of the same. I think unless Colman radically plays something different for her next role she is very much in danger of entering Jack Black, Michael Caine territory.

Overall, a misguided film that thinks it has far more to say then it actually does.

Pros.

It is fairly short

Cons.

The message of the film

It’s simplistic characterisation

Colman

The ending

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Spiderhead: Chris Hemsworth Might Be The Next Anthony Hopkins

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Prisoners in a luxury prison are used as guineapigs for mind-altering pharmaceuticals.

It has been a long, long time since a Netflix original film has managed to impress me, however, this film managed to buck that trend.

I thought though the premise has been explored before, I enjoyed where this film took it. The twists and turns keep you guessing and it didn’t end up going in the way I was expecting it to. I thought Chris Hemsworth was a completely inspired villain, Hemsworth needs to take more of these sort of roles, he was not downright sinister but rather slightly unsettling and I thought he was very effective in the role.

Miles Teller on the other hand was a fairly forgettable lead and he wasn’t really able to blow me away in any significant way. Many other actors could have had that role and would probably have been better able to do more with it then what Teller can muster up. Comparing Hemsworth to Teller, really highlights the flaws in Teller’s performance.

Overall, a fun film with a good performance from Hemsworth.

Pros.

Hemsworth

The premise

The twists and turns

The ending

Cons

Teller

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The Forgiven: Repentance At What Cost?

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A hit and run in the mountains of Morocco changes a man’s’, played by Ralph Fiennes, life forever.

I think this film is quite odd and won’t be what a lot of people are expecting. The trailer for the film gives off somewhat of a thriller vibe, but it is far more meditative than that. This film touches on notions of greed and culture clash as well as the value of life, in many ways this is far more of a tense drama film than anything else.

Fiennes is terrific, as he often is, and is flanked by a sea of other talented faces with Jessica Chastain, Matt Smith and Saïd Taghmaoui also being outstanding. However, I think due to the vast cast some of the other performers are somewhat overlooked and not given much to do, which is a shame.

Widely, I really enjoyed the weighty themes of this film and the message it was trying to hammer home. Moreover, I thought the juxtaposition of extreme wealth as encapsulated by the party and extreme poverty as captured by the nomad village really spoke to society more broadly and certainly left you with something to think about.

Overall, not quite what was advertised, but something that is equal parts layered and smart.

Pros.

The subtext

The themes explored

The performances

The ending

Cons.

Some of the wider cast is wasted

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The Midnight Man: Teenagers Are Dumb, My God They Are Dumb

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Some teens summon and otherworldly entity and it ends badly for them, you know the routine.

This is nothing new and certainly won’t set the world on fire, but it does manage to develop a fairly creepy atmosphere and land a few good scares during its runtime. Solidly watchable.

I think the big issue for me with this film is how formulaic it is, truly if you have ever seen a film like this before then you will be able to predict what happens when and even what characters will say, it takes no chances and does not bother trying to reinvent the format. Moreover, the film is quite clearly low budget, no shame in that of course, and as such doesn’t have the best visual effects. This could have easily handled and done in a way to maximise the scares and also leave us guessing, however, that is not what we get. Instead there are a lot of close us and drawn out sequences of this film’s creature that look straight out of a videogame from over a decade ago.

The big draw of this film is seeing horror icons Lin Shaye and Robert Englund interact together on screen and we do get that to a degree and they certainly both help this film from being even worse though I would say they are underused. The teens who are the film’s main focus are so dull and uninteresting that it is hard to feel anything for them as such you become detached from their struggle.

Overall, Shaye and Englund do their best to salvage this generic film and they do manage to make it watchable.

Pros.

Shaye

Englund

The atmosphere

Cons.

It is generic

It is predictable

The teen leads are instantly forgettable

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The Wolverine: In The Footsteps Of The Greats

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Wolverine, played by Hugh Jackman, head to Japan in order to tidy up a loose end from his past.

I think this is a perfectly fine film, certainly not on the same level as Logan or even X-Men Origins, in my controversial opinion, but a solid middle entry into the unofficial Wolverine trilogy. I think trying to adapt Frank Miller and Chris Claremont’s limited run wherein Wolverine fights the Yakuza and explores Japan’s underworld was both a ballsy move as well as one that was always doomed to end in heartbreak.

I think the major issue this film suffers from is though it explores some interesting concepts and scenarios, it pushes a lot of new characters and expects the audience to instantly care about them when in actuality they feel very little about them. This film could have benefited from at least having a few of the other X-Men pop up as this film ends up feeling isolated in a deeply negative way from the rest of the series.

Of course, despite these negatives the film still manages to get Wolverine right and has him be a badass through and through, of course this is helped along to no end by Hugh Jackman who gives it his all as always. Jackman’s Wolverine may be the best performance in a comic book film ever.

Overall, though this is still a cool Wolverine film, he feels a little bit too isolated and the film was fighting and uphill battle from the beginning trying to replicate the greatness of Miller and Claremont.

Pros.

It is very watchable

Jackman

The action lands well

Cons.

It feels too isolated from the wider X-Men film series

It is a poor adaptation

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Man Of Steel: Zack Snyder’s Moment Of Glory

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The Snyderverse is born.

Perhaps it is because of my age, or because I grew up with the Nolan Dark Knight trilogy, but this always was the definitive Superman tale to me. I have seen some of the other takes on the character from further back but still when I think who or what is Superman I think of this film.

Now I am not saying this film is perfect, Zack Snyder’s trademark lack of subtlety does trip the film up to a degree and the heavy handed Christ comparisons do become a little tedious after a while. However, I think Snyder gets the broad strokes right, he understands the character of Kal-El and what drives him and that is clear throughout. Furthermore, no one does spectacle quite like Zack Snyder and whether that is the destruction of Krypton or the Oil refinery sequence he really adds quite a nice visual style and grandeur to the film.

In addition the performances across the board are also fantastic. Henry Cavill is magnificent in the lead and frankly the fact Warner Brothers aren’t foaming at the mouth to have him back for a sequel just shows how bad the management over there is. Amy Adams and Michael Shannon are also marvellous and worthy of being highlighted for their standout performances as well.

Overall, this is the definitive cinematic take on Superman for me.

Pros.

Cavill

The spectacle

It does the character justice

The ending

Cons.

The writing lacks subtlety

The religious analogies becoming trying quickly

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Saving Christmas: This Is Why America Is In Decline

0.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Kirk Cameron is trying to tell you how those non-believing woke lefties are ruining Christmas.

Oh no dear reader I have done it again, I have fallen back into the burning pit of desperation that is faith cinema.

This time around the film is far more desperate than God’s Not Dead and has the central character take breaks from the film to address the audience directly, through a series of monologues, during which time he tries to lay out a dire case for how the non-believers and those who dare to have other faiths or say ‘happy holidays’ are somehow ruining the season itself.

Moreover, the central plot follows Cameron’s character who spends the runtime trying to convince his brother in law, played by the film’s director Darren Doane, that Christmas is still a Christian holiday. My word, the thinly vailed racism is so hard to pick up on it is crazy, but if you look beneath the incredibly shallow and obvious surface there it is. Clearly the writers of this must be ardently anti-Capitalist as it is not non-believers and those of other faiths who have ruined the season but America’s rampant and sickening consumerism.

It is films like that which indoctrinate people into believing all sorts of nonsense, and into believing that repealing abortion and birth control is a good idea and one that God would approve of. The very definition of American entitlement, screaming their religious views at you whilst telling you that you are the problem. This is why America as a country is sinking further into the abyss.

Overall, the only good thing about this film is that it has some good laughs in stall for anyone foolhardy enough to watch it.

Pros.

It is laughably bad

Cons.

It highlights some of the very worst aspects of American society

It is smug, entitled and insufferable in equal measure

It loses its own point

Kirk Cameron needs to get a new hobby

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South Park Streaming Wars Part 2

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Randy, voiced by Trey Parker, must find the duality within himself in order to save the world from Manbearpig and to finally end the streaming wars.

I think this was better than the last special but still not great. I liked that they acknowledge that the character of Randy has become one note, and frankly annoying, and I was even pleased to see that they were going to change him back to how he used to be before he became the weed guy and was an actual character. However, then the ending comes along as seems to dump all over that idea suggesting that more weed Randy is to come, oh joy.

Moreover, though I liked the meta commentary on streaming wars and Matt Stone and Trey Parker using the special as a means to complain about their own experiences, I think that the formatting of the whole thing was off and that it illustrates perfectly how South Park works far better as a disconnected series, rather than interconnected specials. I would really like them to go back to how the show used to be before they forced in serialisation.

The comedy this time around was also marginally better than in the last special and I found I was laughing more throughout. I am also glad they greatly reduced Cartman’s role down as he was really quite annoying in the previous part of this event, verging on loathsome.

Overall, better than the last Streaming Wars but maybe they should stop with the specials soon as they are becoming long in the tooth.

Pros.

It is funnier

It acknowledges what went wrong with Randy

The characters feel more likeable then they did in the first part

Cons.

The ending and Randy’s future

It would have worked better a one off episode of the series rather than as a big flashy special

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X-Men Origins Wolverine: A Huge Missed Opportunity, Not Without Some Merit

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The origin story of James Howlett, played by Hugh Jackman.

I know that many people will have an issue with my score for this film, and that through the sheer fact of having the Tim Rothman requested mouth sown shut Deadpool, played by Ryan Reynolds, that this film should automatically have a low score however allow me to try and change your mind.

I think rather undeniably this film has a very cool aesthetic, whether it is the opening montage of James and his half-brother Victor, played by Liev Schreiber, fighting through various wars, or the introduction of Gambit, played fantastically by Taylor Kitsch, there are a lot of cool scenes in this film that are hard not to be excited by.

Moreover, unlike in most of Wolverine’s other appearances in the various X-Men films the threat here feels both real and personal to him. Not only do we get to see him in a very raw state as he is made, but we also get to see him essentially lose at the end turning him into a tragic character. In many ways I think this approach does far more for the character then just seeing him slice up a roomful of dudes with his claws.

The downsides to this film are numerous and have been detailed in great accuracy in other places to me the biggest crime of this film are the parts of it wherein you can see the overly heavy hand of Tim Rothman and the wider studio coming in to suppress good ideas and do what they want. I think if Rothman had not been as he has been rumoured to have been then this film could have had a chance at being good.

Overall, a lot of interesting visuals and a solid Wolverine story, undercut by obvious studio interference.

Pros.

The opening montage

Giving Wolverine a clear emotional arc

A lot of solid action

It is fun to watch

Cons.

The blatant changes mandated by studio interference

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How To Please A Woman: Sally Phillips Breaks Bad

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

After losing both her marriage, in an emotional sense, and her job, in a literal sense, Gina, played by Sally Phillips, embarks on a new chapter in her life: one centred around topless men and sex for hire.

I feel like I have seen this film before, a woman sick of her life and her husband breaks bad. Once upon a time that would be a new and novel idea but now it feels fairly tame and by the numbers. Moreover, the female gaze angel around the woman using men for sex, rather than it being the other way around, does feel a little bit more revolutionary, but even that feels like well-worn ground these days.

However, I do think that Sally Phillip does manage to save this film and gives and earnest performance. If an actor of a lesser talent tried to do the same role no doubt the film would have felt incredibly generic and average, but Phillips manages to elevate the material.

In terms of the film’s comedy it made me smile a few times and chuckle here and there but for the most part I didn’t find it that funny, certainly it was not laugh out loud.

Overall, Philips elevates what is otherwise a very familiar film.

Pros.

Phillips

It is watchable

A few laughs here and there

Cons.

It feels a bit too familiar

Pacing issues

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