Maneater: Making Sharknado Look Like An Oscar Worthy Affair

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A shark movie featuring the worst shark effects you will ever see in your life, even the clearly fake looking shark in Jaws from the 70s is better than this.

I will open this review by saying that I am a big Shane West fan, I grew up watching Nikita and later Salem and as such I will always turn up for something starring, or in this case co-starring West. However, though he may be the reason this film gets a 1 and not less, he certainly isn’t enough to make this film even barely watchable.

The shark attack/survival subgenre of horror is already incredibly overpopulated as such it is very hard for a shark film to be good or to standout, for positive reasons, from the rest. This film did stand out but for all the wrong reasons. Obviously as I have previously mentioned the incredibly poor effects on the shark that are almost laughably bad is the main reason, however also bad is the fact that this film looks like a made for TV Sharknado esque affair, but it doesn’t bring the tongue in cheek tone or charm of that film and instead decides to play it straight for the most part- to no one’s benefit.

I also really don’t care for the narrative structure of this film and how it decides to split focus between the main group of partiers under attack by the shark and then a grieving father, played by Trace Adkins, as he decides to hunt down the shark. I suppose the two threads to coreless in the end, but until this point it is a jarring back and forth between them.

Our lead of Jessie, played by Nicky Whelan, is aggressively average. She brings very little to the table beyond being a damsel in distress that doesn’t even really get any good licks in on the shark, instead needing to wait for the uber macho Harlan, Adkins, to come and save her. Something I will give this film credit for is the fact that it uses a cast of older actors rather than have it just be the genre’s standard collection of teens.

Overall, how not to do a Shark movie.

Pros.

Casting older actors

Shane West is trying his best

Cons.

The shark frequently looks terrible

It is boring and cliched

It is on for far too long

The lead performance is fairly reductive

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Top Gun Maverick: Men And Their Feelings

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Maverick, played by Tom Cruise, returns to teach the next generation.

That premise sounds generic and lame but actually proves to be quite entertaining. I think by using just the right amount of nostalgia whilst also tying in elements from the first film in an interesting way that felt like it benefited the story and drove things forward rather than just being used for cheap member berry moments.

I think Tom Cruise was good here, though I would not say he was the star of the show as he was upstaged by both Miles Teller, playing the son of Maverick’s old friend Goose, as well as an also returning Val Kilmer. Cruise plays Maverick in much the same way he does all his other action movie characters, see Ethan Hunt or Jack Reacher, so if you like that then you will be entertained, but if you were hoping for something new then you will be disappointed.

Personally, I found this film to be enjoyable and very watchable but I don’t understand why it is so big right now or so critically beloved. Maybe it’s because I didn’t watch the first film as a kid or maybe it’s because I often find Tom Cruise starring in a film to be an off-putting factor, however to me this really was a case of the film being good not great.

Overall, a fun movie but by no means a must see.

Pros.

It is a lot of fun

It uses nostalgia sparingly and well

It is well paced

Teller is terrific

Cons.

Cruise is just playing the same old same old

Jennifer Connelly’s character is a big bunch of sexist cliches

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I Love My Dad: Taking Facebook Creeping Up A Notch

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A dad, played by Patton Oswald catfishes his emotionally vulnerable son, played by Jason Morosini, after he blocks him online.

I have two key issues with this film. Firstly, the end of the film shows the son being warm towards the dad and even goes so far as to almost celebrate the dad at the end when in actual fact the dad is cruel, unethical and deeply controlling. This normalisation is not undone by the fact the film points out these issues in the father’s personality as in the end these criticisms don’t matter. Secondly, the film tries to bill itself as the ultimate cringe comedy, but instead just comes off as deeply depressing and leaves you feeling sad.

There are a handful of sparse laughs to be had here, but for the most part this film leaves you cold. Honestly the context of the son’s mental state makes the film uncomfortable viewing, in a different film the father’s catfish could come off as funny or even as a prank but as here he knows his son has suicidal tendencies it just comes across as messed up and wrong.

Overall, not particularly enjoyable.

Pros.

A few laughs to be had

It is mercifully short

Cons.

The father doesn’t deserve to be redeemed at the end

It is not as deep as it thinks it is

It makes for uncomfortable viewing

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Day Shift: Ruining A Perfectly Nice Pair Of Pants

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Jamie Foxx is a vampire hunter and Dave Franco is a man who consistently ruins his slacks.

For the most part I enjoyed this film. I think tongue in cheek action is where Netflix really shines, not when they are trying to be serious. The comedy of this film mostly landed for me and I found myself laughing quite a few times. Likewise I was impressed by most of the action sequences, but I would expect nothing less with Chad Stathelski’s hand in producing this film.

The world building here was nice to see, even if it did feel like a plagiarised version of the John Wick set up with the Union being a very obvious stand in for the High Table and or the world of the Continental. It was nice to see the film explore different types of vampires with different powers and abilities as it gave the various enemies some nice variety.

I think in terms of performance Jamie Foxx is very take him or leave him, he’s fine but anyone could have done his role and many would have done a better job of it. Franco easily upstages his on-screen partner and has a number of memorable lines. However, I think the scene stealer of the film is Natasha Liu Bordizzo’s Heather as she brings a real presence to the film and also has great chemistry with both Foxx and Franco.

Overall, a moderately entertaining picture.

Pros.

Franco

Bordizzo

The action

Cons.

It feels a little too similar to John Wick

Foxx is a miscast lead

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Hey Bro A Sneak Peak From The Feature Film The Hard Life And Times Of Clownie: Clowns Have Problems Too

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Clownie, played by Josh Rutgers, must face down a dark night of the soul after being kicked out of the clowning association.

I enjoyed the raw passion of this film and the clear enthusiasm that was on display in every frame. It wasn’t a perfect film, but it has a lot of heart and really that is what I liked about this film, it knew what it was and it was just a group of people having fun and at the very heart of the matter that is what all films should be.

My main complaint of this film would be that it isn’t on long enough for us to become properly attached to Clownie, or to buy his emotional journey. However, I suppose that is what sequels are for, there is always more ground to cover in the future. In terms of short films this is definitely on the shorter side.

For the short time it was on I found the film quite compelling, and I was interested to see how it would play out. I think the ending raised the stakes for the film and left us with some questions about where things can go from here.

Overall, a film that has clearly been made with a lot of passion, love and talent.

Pros.

Clownie as a character

The ending

The passion is clear to see

Cons.

It is too short

It is a little messy in places

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Jawbreaker: A Bargain Basement Heathers Knock Off

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A clique of bratty teenage girls accidentally kill one of their member, played by Charlotte Ayanna, and must try and cover it up.

I understand that this film was ‘inspired by’ Heathers but did it have to be so blatant in copying it, could they not have at least tried to come up with some new ideas and concepts? Maybe it is because I have not viewing this from a contemporary lens and am instead looking at it years later, but to me this film just seems played out and done better before.

None of the central trio are particularly easy to warm to or engaging, I found myself spending most of my time getting annoyed every time they opened their mouths. Truly nothing is worse than the teen mean girl trope, it is so lazy.

A mild pro I will give this film is that it was occasionally unintentionally funny, and that managed to at least to a very small extent lighten up the unpleasant and frankly tedious viewing experience.

Overall, I see that this film has developed a cult following, however to those people I say why choose a knock off version of Heathers.

Pros.

It is unintentionally funny

It is watchable

Cons.

The lead trio are incredibly unlikeable

It feels like a weaker Heathers

It is tedious for a lot of the runtime

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Mack And Rita: Maybe Its Time To Retire

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A thirty year old wakes up in her seventy year old body.

How many times have we seen this before? Far, far too many that’s the answer most of us will come to. The idea of a vain and entitled girl becoming old to learn that there is more to life, is neither new nor welcome. When approached with the charm of a Freaky Friday the premise at least has a chance, but this is the furthest thing from charming.

Moreover, if this film is proof of anything it is that it is better to go out on top than to keep acting well past your prime when you have to politely poo all over your reputation and past glories by staring in schlock that makes you come across as more than a little desperate. It happened to DeNiro with Dirty Grandpa and I’d dare say this is that same moment for Diane Keaton.

The humour this film aims for comes across as try hard, and often falls into the category of going out of its way to explain/signpost a joke which as we all know kills it almost every time.

My biggest question in relation to this film is who is it for? Is it for young audiences, who likely wouldn’t know who Diane Keaton is, is it for middle age or older audiences, who may be put off by the goofy humour, or is it for Keaton die hards, who will feel some sadness at seeing her reduced to this. The question remains unanswered.

Overall, a waste of time and money.

Pros.

If you are struggling to sleep this might be just the ticket.

Cons.

Keaton

The humour

The premise has been done much better before

There is no reason for this film to exist

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Mrs Harris Goes To Paris: Trading It All In For A Pretty Dress

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

An English working class woman, played by Lesley Manville, travels to France to obtain a fancy Dior dress.

I think in many ways this is a nice mindless film, wholesome without making you think particularly. Comfort viewing. However, I do think that a lot of the characters and plot lines feel very derivative, I understand that it was based on a book and if this is how the characters in the book act then I would say that the writer liberally borrowed from the standard bag of literary cliches.

Though I enjoyed the wholesomeness for the most part I would say there were moments where the film felt to me like it was flirting with over sentimentality. I find that when films cross over this line I often find them quite false and off putting and this film definitely dipped its toe over the line at times.

Manville for her part is fine, she is perfectly serviceable here. The same sentiment applies to the rest of the cast as well fine, but nothing more. Jason Issac was the only performer who I remembered afterwards as his wheeler dealer character had a few funny moments that kept him in mind.

Overall, an enjoyable film but nothing novel.

Pros.

The wholesomeness

The ending

It is very easy to watch

Cons.

It feels overly familiar

None of the cast really blow you away with their performances

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They/Them: This Is Why People Look Down On ‘Streaming Films’

0.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Kevin Bacon spits on his slasher legacy by making cheap slop that everyone knew from the get-go was bad in order to make a quick buck.

Honestly, I went into this with low expectations and thought hey with how low my bar is surely the film will surprise me, but no. If anything this film managed to plunge even deeper than my already incredibly low expectations and just be a turd.

So this film seems to be allergic to fun, most slasher films have a campy, cheesy element to them that means that you can laugh at them as much as me scared by them, that is part of the charm of the genre. However, this film didn’t seem to get the memo and fun is had by no one, the actors don’t seem to want to be there, and you certainly don’t want to keep watching.

Moreover, the film falls very easily into the trap of being preachy, the setting of the film was always going to invoke certain themes and ideas but this film just doesn’t deal with them well. Rather than have anything nuanced, revelatory, or even amusing to say this film comes off as a lecture. We all know conversation camps exist are bad and that non-binary, trans and gender fluid people exist, we don’t need this film to constantly tell us.

The mystery of who is the killer is trite and fairly obvious and in the end you are left thinking you have had an hour and a half of your time wasted.

Overall, absolutely no fun to watch.

Pros.

Kevin Bacon is always a pleasant presence in movies even when he is phoning it in

Cons.

It is preachy

The mystery is obvious

The ending

It has awful pacing issues

It is no fun

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Nope: You Will Never Look At Clouds The Same Way Again

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A family of horse trainers come under threat from a massive otherworldly entity.

This could potentially be Jordan Peele’s best film. Now that might be a controversial claim but stay with me, I think by being far more obvious and straightforward in its plotting rather than abstract and heavily reliant on subtext this becomes the director’s most accessible and dare I say enjoyable film. It is nice to be able to just watch this film and enjoy the character’s journeys and to understand the film once it ends rather than having to wade through a lake of fairly on the nose racial subtext to be able to draw some sort of a conclusion.

All of the performers here are on good form, Kiki Palmer, Steven Yeun, Daniel Kaluuya all give strong performances and Brandon Perea becomes a standout as soon as he arrives, definitely a scene stealer. I would have preferred for Yeun’s character to have a bit more development, as he feels a bit thin outside of his one defining childhood trauma incident.

My main complaint of this film is that the pacing is quite noticeably off. When you reach the final ten minutes of the film you find yourself questioning how much longer it can go on for, as the two previous spots in which you thought an ending was near turned out to be very wrong.

Overall, possibly Peele’s best, however, the pace could use some work.

Pros.

The narrative

Subverting traditional alien abduction narratives

The performances

It is quite funny in parts

Cons.

The pacing

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