Fall: Life Lessons For Trying Times

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Two young free climbers, played by Grace Caroline Curry and Virginia Gardner, decide to get back into it after suffering a loss that has effected them both. During this attempt the two young women find themselves trapped at the top of an abandoned tower in the middle of nowhere with no way down.

I have seen and reviewed a lot of these sort of films, the survival thriller genre seems to have a new film out every week and for the most part they are all bad. However, this one really struck a chord with me and impressed me, whether it was the fact I have a fear of heights so I felt the threat a lot more or whether it was something I hadn’t seen readily before this film certainly kept me engaged.

The performances are a mixed bag, Curry is a fairly weak lead outperformed by both Gardner and also Jeffery Dean Morgan who plays her dad and has a collective 5 minutes of screentime in the whole picture. I think the film would have been better if Gardner had the top billing and Curry was the co-star.

My two main small issues with this film were the frankly shockingly bad CGI during the first tragic climb and also the twist towards the end of the film that one of the girls had actually been dead for some time as I thought it felt lazy and done for shock value. However, in my mind both of these things are fairly minor and don’t really stop you enjoying the film.

Overall, an interesting and genuinely distressing survival film.

Pros.

The threat

The tension

The cinematography

Gardner and Morgan

Cons.

The CGI is a little patchy in places

The twist didn’t work for me

If you enjoyed this review, then please head over to my Patreon to support me, I offer personalized shoutouts, the ability for you to pick what I review next and full access to my Patreon exclusive game reviews. Check it out!

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Welcome Home Roxy Carmichael: Safety On The Shore

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A teenage goth outsider, played by Winona Ryder, finds comfort in a boat.

I can see what this film was trying to do, but it really just didn’t come together well. The two crisscrossing storylines of Ryder’s character being abandoned as a child and then her high school isolation happening side by side with the narrative flirting with the idea of unreliable narration and time could have led to great contrast, but as it turns out it doesn’t actually lead to a satisfying pay off. I would say that is the main issue with this film that it seems to think that it is far deeper than it actually is.

I think without Ryder the film would be a lot worse, as it is Ryder manages to pull the film together with enough dark energy to keep you watching until the end. You really do believe the pain that her character is clearly going through and do also feel a lot of sympathy towards her, her character is quite well constructed and layered too which is nice.

The pace of the film is a little off and I would say it could lose about 20 minutes and be a tighter and better film.

Overall, fine but with a fair number of issues holding it back.

Pros.

Ryder

It tries to do something fresh

It is watchable

Cons.

The pace

It thinks it is deeper than it actually is

The ending is quite anticlimactic

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Three Thousand Years Of Longing: Idris Elba Topless For Almost Two Hours

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A woman, played by Tilda Swinton, meets a djinn, played by Idris Elba, and the experience changes her life.

I think the trailers for this film are misleading, they make it seem whimsical and fun when in actual fact there is a quite a sad and melancholic tone that runs throughout the film. In that vein you are never quite sure whether anything that is happening actually is or whether it is actually Swinton’s character slipping into mental illness as such there is a quite an unsettling aspect to proceedings. It will be one of those instances where how you choose to see the film will determine what you take from it, but for me the lead’s mental illness was clear and that took away a lot of the joy for me of this film and actually made it quite sad and depressing.

Moreover, though usually Tilda Swinton is a gifted performer her performance her leaves something to be desired. This is main due to the fact that the Northern accent she is trying to do is quite frankly awful, Swinton is laying it on far too thick and as someone from that neck of the woods I can say with confidence that it is laughably bad.

The only reason that this film got a point from me is because some of its more absurdist comedic leanings made me laugh, believe me this is not a funny film by any means but there were one or two laughs that worked for me.

Overall, not an enjoyable time at the cinema.

Pros.

A few laughs to be had

Cons.

It is depressing

It is unsettling

Swinton’s accent is awful

It is badly paced

Clogwyn: Don’t Throw Your Dreams Away

4.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A man’s dream of starting a business in the UK are derailed after he becomes addicted to gambling.

I want to open this review by saying how powerful and important I think this short is. In our current world there are adverts for gambling everywhere, often with minimal government regulation, as such big gambling firms are in a prime position to make a killing from people without facing any real consequences as they ruin people’s lives and that is scary.

I think the plot of this film is a plight that many people will be able to relate to in one way or another, this isn’t superhumans battling it out in the streets or a war for an alien world it is something that has effected most people, most people have either been effected by gambling addiction or know someone who has and that’s why this film is so compelling.

My only negative in regard to this film would be that it could have been more in-depth. It shows most aspects to serious gambling addictions, but it could have shown more of the warning signs and highlighted further just how destructive it can be.

Overall, a powerful and moving short.

Pros.

The impact

It really hits home

It is very relatable

It is powerful and moving

You really feel for the characters

Cons.

It could have been a bit longer and more in-depth

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Orphan First Kill: Grey And Lifeless

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Ester’s origins are explored with the help of a simply awful lighting and colour gradient combo.

Really this film shouldn’t have been made. They add in some new twists and turns here, but for the most part it can’t hope to compete with the twist from the first film that Ester, played by Isabelle Fuhrman, who everyone thought was a child was in fact a grown adult. Once you know that twist a lot of the places this prequel goes to are not very exciting.

Moreover, as I said in the above summary there is some really quite poor lighting and colouring choices in this film that makes vast parts of it hard to see or tell what is going on, furthermore this is only worsen by a grey hue that seems to stick to the film throughout giving it a dull and lifeless air.

However, it is not all terrible as the film for the most part is very watchable. In addition a surprisingly out of left field evil turn from Jessica Stiles makes for captivating watching, the film would be a lot wore without Stiles in it that’s for sure.

Overall, a very average film that didn’t really need to be made.

Pros.

Stiles

It is watchable

The ending

Cons.

Once you know the twist from the first film it takes a lot away from this prequel

The lighting and colour work is awful

The pace is aggressively bad

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Easter Sunday: Tame and Bland

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A struggling single father, played by Jo Koy, heads home to spend Easter Sunday with his dysfunctional family.

When I saw the trailer for this film I was happy as I thought it could begin to fill the hole of Filipino representation within the industry, and while yes it is nice to see this group more widely represented it is just a shame that the film that is doing this important task is actually quite naff.

Before this film I had not really seen Koy’s stand-up before, so was unfamiliar with what to expect; I am more of a Marc Maron type personally. What I found watching was that Koy wasn’t very funny, I don’t know if I just don’t gel with his comedic stylings or whether the material for the film was bad, but what I do know is that whilst watching it I didn’t laugh more than once or twice in the film’s whole runtime.

In many respects this film reminded me of the cinematic comedic vehicles that the likes of Chris Tucker, Eddie Murphy and Mike Myers used to get, however, I would say the big difference here is that Koy semes to find it hard to keep the film going. I would argue and perhaps I am wrong, as like I said before I was unfamiliar with him before this, that he may not be a strong enough comedian to anchor a film like this.

Overall, watchable, but not very funny.

Pros.

It is watchable

One or two funny jokes

Cons.

Most of the jokes don’t land

It is badly paced

Koy doesn’t seem a strong enough comedian to anchor this film

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Me Time: Hart Brings The Heart

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Kevin Hart is an untight family man you needs to learn to cut lose, enter his old friend Huck, played by Mark Wahlberg.

On this the face of it this is an incredibly by the numbers comedy film, in almost everyway you have seen this before, Mark Wahlberg himself has made this exact same film before in fact. However, no one ever said a comedy film had to be the height of originality, the real question is, is it funny?

In terms of humour the film is more hit than miss, there are a number of memorable gags but for the most part its fairly weak stuff. For those of you out there who might be hoping for some raunchy material the film is far more family friendly than I was expecting it to be.

I think the best thing about this film and its biggest selling point is Kevin Hart. Hart is doing very well in this family comedy circuit where he plays a dorky family man looking to break loose, I think Hart brings a real sense of heart and soul to these roles that makes it hard not to root for him, with a different actor in the lead this film would be a lot worse for sure.

Overall, nothing revolutionary but watchable with a boost from Hart

Pros.

Hart

It is watchable

It has some wholesome charm

Cons.

Fairly low energy Wahlberg

It is nothing you haven’t seen before

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Fisherman’s Friends One And All: It Is Okay To Not Be Okay

5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The Fisherman’s Friends must deal with a changing world and the price of fame as they return for another outing.

This was a nigh on perfect film, it had everything you would want, humour, heart and soul. It made me both laugh and cry. It feels like such an authentic film, which yes is boosted by the fact that it is based on real events but also because of the fact that this feels as removed from Hollywood as you can get, though not quite low budget indie film level.

Moreover, I really appreciated and enjoyed the focus on men’s mental health. I thought the speech that Jim, played by James Purefoy, gave about it being okay to not be okay was really important, as on a personal level I know men who struggle with their mental health but feel like they can’t talk about it or get help for it as such it is nice to see the message being spread that it is okay to ask for help and to cry.

In addition the cast across the board is great, but Purefoy is the anchor of the film and really sells the emotion and the passion. I think without Purefoy this film wouldn’t be half as good.

Overall, a lovely film that as many people as possible should see.

Pros.

Purefoy

The focus on men’s mental health

The shanties

It feels like a sequel that deserves to exist

The end credits scenes with the real people

Cons.

None

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Nice Guys Sleep Alone: You’ll Need A Shower After This One

0.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Films like this are why we have incels.

The idea that ‘nice guys finish last’ is the hallmark of the dirty unwashed guys who show up to dates with BO and stained clothes and then proceed to neg the girl they are trying to court and then get surprised when they don’t want to be with them. In short it is the motto of the loser. This film really does run with that message as the lead, played by Sean O’Bryan, loses girl after girl because he is just too nice and then when he finally decided to be a dick to his next romantic interest she only wants nice guys. Firstly, if a girl doesn’t like you because you are too nice that is on her, no one should ever change you in a relationship, however the idea that being a dick is a way to attract a mate is equally flawed and toxic.

I understand there is a degree of satire going on here, but honestly this whole film reeked of pick up artist slime to me, and as such I could not warm to the lead at all, in fact if anything the fact that he was prepared to turn into a dick to try and get girls shows that he wasn’t a nice guy at all and that he was in fact a slimy loser who deserved to end up alone, but because this is a rom-com we can’t have that. Ah the toxic and widely problematic romantic comedy subgenre everyone. Maybe we weren’t supposed to like him at all.

Overall, though it is trying to satirise dating culture this film feels like a relic better left behind.

Pros.

Occasionally it is unintentionally funny

Cons.

The satire doesn’t really land

It is toxic

It is not fun to watch

Few to none of the characters are at all likeable

This film was picked out by one of my subscribers over on the crowd funding website Patreon, if you would like to pick two films every month for me to review as well as get various other perks then head over to my Patreon and subscribe to one of my tiers. Link below

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Spin Me Round: Spilling Sauce

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A restaurant manger wins a trip to Italy and a whirlwind romance begins, then quickly ends.

This to me marked me returning to the Baena path, I really enjoyed Life After Beath and The Little Hours, but Horse Girl really turned me off in a big way, however I am pleased to say he is back on form here.

I found this to be both comfort viewing whilst also having Baena signature absurdist uncomfortability. I liked that the romance was atypical and that at the end of the film Alison Brie’s lead did not go back to her sleezy lothario, I think in many ways this film acts as an antidote for the miles upon miles of toxic rom-coms out there that suggest even incredibly problematic behaviour can be made up for just with a grand gesture.

Moreover, the continued electric chemistry between Aubrey Plaza and Alison Brie, which can be referenced again in Baena’s The Little Hours, is on strong form here and the scenes that the two actors share steal the film. My one complaint in this regard would be that Plaza’s character disappears midway into the film and you find yourself wishing that she would return. However, that wish is never realised.

The main reason I have given this film a 4 and not a 5 is because though it is good and enjoyable for a number of different reasons, I didn’t find it to have stuck in my mind after watching. This staying power is usually the hallmark of a 5.

Overall, fun but not memorable.

Pros.

The chemistry between Plaza and Brie

It is very watchable

The ending acts as a balm to the many injustices of the rom-com genre

The absurdist elements

Cons.

It is good not great

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer