Zombeaver: Creepy and Gross

Zombeaver is a creature feature film directed by Jordan Rubin. The plot sees a group of scantily clad teens head off to a lakeside cabin after one of them breaks up with their boyfriend. Their weekend is interrupted by a pack of murderous zombie beavers that seems hell bent on killing them all.

This film is gratuitous for all the wrong reasons, that is my one-line summary of this film.

Before I get into the thousand and one reasons why this film is trash, I want to talk about the one scene that I enjoyed. One of the very first scenes is a conversation between the girls and their landlady for the weekend, said landlady played by Phyllis Catz had me in stiches. She was the best part of this film.

Yes, it truly did peak at the 10-minute mark everything after there went straight down the toilet. So first off the bat the nudity is excessive, even for a film like this, it goes beyond the point of awkward and cringe and borders the tasteless.

Secondly, the main girl (the one who is cheated on), is vilified by the other characters and all of them seem to hate her by the end of the film. Also the cheater and the person he cheated with are also pushed as the real heroes of the film in a move that is simply baffling. All of the characters are firmly unlikable.

Overall, this is trash, its not even dumb fun it is just mean spirted, voyeuristic and soulless. You might have noticed I didn’t name the characters for the most part, that is because they’re so underdeveloped I couldn’t remember any of their names.

Pros.

That one funny scene with the landlady.

Cons.

Twisted morals.

Needless Nudity.

Stereotypes and other harmful clichés

It couldn’t make killer beavers fun.

0.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Extra Ordinary: Meal For One?

Extra Ordinary is an Irish horror comedy film directed by Mike Ahern and Enda Loughman. The plot sees reluctant medium Rose (Maeve Higgins), forced back into the game when Satanists steal a virgin to sacrifice to their dark lord. She must believe in her gifts once again and stop the growing evil.

I actually thought this was rather good, the comedy didn’t always hit the mark for me, but it did make me laugh several times and when it didn’t, I still had a smile on my face. I was surprised to see Will Forte pop up, I was unaware of who was in it when I put it on, but he played a failed musician turned master of the darks arts with a real sense of flare that I enjoyed, he was delightfully over the top.

Moreover the dynamic between Forte’s Christian and his wife Claudia (Claudia O’ Doherty), was priceless. They had a really great back and forth and the chemistry between the two of them was palpable for all to see. O’ Doherty has been popping up in some really heart stuff recently and is really making a name for herself as a comedic actor; she practically stole the show in The Festival.

My one complaint would be the lead, while Rose is likeable enough, I found her to be a bit too bumbling, a bit too awkward, it felt forced and I didn’t really buy it. I also thought that her jokes were by far the weakest, as a lead she was a disappointment.

Overall, a subpar lead doesn’t slow this film down much as it has enough laughs and charm to keep you happy and satiated until the end.

Pros.

The comedy

The world/ the world building

Forte.

Claudia O’ Doherty

Cons.

An unpolished lead.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Addams Family 2019: The Horrors Of Animation

The Addams Family (2019), is a computer animated family film directed by Greg Tiernan and Conrad Vernon, inspired by the classic cartoon. The plot sees the Addams Family having to adapt to life in the 21^st century, whilst still keeping their old-world traditions alive as they become the target of a home renovator and her suburban horde.

When I put this on, I was expecting the worst, I was expecting a film that fundamentally didn’t understand the characters and in the process of making them appeal to a modern market ruined what made the franchise special. I was expecting another Scoob, yes that’s right I am still not over it, however, while this is far from good it is not terrible either.

The two positives I’ll give it are that the villain of the film Margaux Needler (Alison Janney), is incredibly hateable and that Oscar Isaac does a good job voicing Gomez; that’s it. Even these compliments highlight the issues with the film.

Janney’s Margaux is hateable because she is irritating and constantly in your face. Is that the reason your villain should be hated, surely it should be because of their evil actions? Furthermore, the only reason Isaacs’ vocal performance draws any praise is because of how bad the rest of the cast are. Each member of the Addams Family sounds wrong, especially Nick Kroll doing the same voice as one of his Big Mouth characters.

Moreover the animation is not easy on the eye, rather it is horrible to look at and is frequently off putting, not because it is showing you anything grotesque, but because of the way the characters look and the way they move. If you like quality animation this is not the film for you.

Overall, while this film is not offensively bad, it does nothing to resurrect the Addams brand and instead feels like a very blatant attempt to force an old franchise back into the public eye with very poor results. Next time hire a better cast and animators.

Pros.

Isaac

A hateable villain.

Cons.

Miscast.

Hateable for the wrong reasons.

Poor cheap looking animation.

1.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Suburbicon: Not All Actors Can Or Should Direct.

Suburbicon is a crime black comedy film directed by George Clooney. The plot sees tensions mount in a small suburban town after robbers brutally kill a wife/ mother. However, as the film progresses it is shown that there is much more afoot, sinister things indeed and they only escalate.

This should be the last film Clooney directs. That is how I will open this review. Going into this film I had heard mixed things, but the trailer looked good, so I pressed on and my god I wish I hadn’t.

The biggest flaw of the film is the script and the story, really just all the writing in this film is terrible. It is written by the Cohen brothers, who personally I believe are incredibly overrated, and this film proves that not everything they touch turns to gold. There are so many random plot threads all happening at the same time and none of them fit together. It is confusing and poorly structured.

The second biggest flaw is how on the nose it is. Now I have no issue with a film getting political, hell if done right it can be a thing of beauty, but this film did not do it right. While we have the murdered mum storyline, we also have the story of a black family that moves in down the road, they’re abused and humiliated and then later in the film attacked in their home. This plotline does not feel needed or done well it feels stitched together to try and make a point. The ending sees the sons of each family playing catch over a shattered fence, as thought the metaphor is supposed to mean something; all it meant to me was that I have wasted my time. It is not deep or clever and it has about as much finesse and nuance as a festering animal carcass.

Overall, this film proves that not all actors are cut out to direct. Stay in front of the camera Mr Clooney please.

Pros.

The cast are trying, it is just a shame they have nothing to work with.

Cons.

It fails spectacularly to be deep.

The metaphors are ham-fisted and tiresome.

The writing stinks.

None of it makes sense.

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Addams Family: A Friend To The Outsider

The Addams Family is a comedy fantasy film directed by Barry Sonnenfeld; it is based on the cartoon of the same name. It revolves around a strange quirky family that goes on dark often monstrous adventures; the humour of these film comes from how different the family are from the rest of the world. The plot this time around sees Fester Addams (Christopher Lloyd), return to the family after a 25-year absence, only is that really Fester Addams?

The Addams family are almost an oddball institution, most everybody knows who they are and has seen them in one form or another. This film was my first introduction to them when I was younger and watching it again now, I am pleased to say it stands the test of time in so many ways.

Each of the characters are iconic in their own way, each stands out and grabs your attention; especially Christina Ricci as Wednesday Addams. This film highlights the important of getting the casting process right: because these actors so perfectly encapsulate the characters that you can’t seem them played by anyone else. There is a reason they chose to do an animated follow up.

I think the reason these films speak to people so much is because they embody outsider culture, they’re something that anyone who has ever felt a bit different or a bit alien can relate to and find some companionship in. That at least is the enduring appeal as I perceive it.

Overall, I think as far as family movies go, this has some nice messages, some great characters and a few good cheer worthy moments. A nice film to watch for everyone!

Pros.

The message.

The characters.

The goofy fun.

The early 90s charm.

Cons.

It could be shorter.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Bronson: Fighting All Day Long

Bronson is a crime biopic film directed by Nicolas Winding Refn. The film recreates the real-life of Britain’s most notorious prisoner Charles Bronson (played here by Tom Hardy), showing his early life, his stint as a bear knuckle boxer and of course all the time he has spent in prison over the years.

This is a Refn film to its core, anyone who has ever seen one of his other films such as Drive, or The Neon Demon will know what I mean. There are many tense scenes in this film shot in striking red lighting to the backdrop of a techno soundtrack. If that sounds familiar it should do, these are the things that make a film a Nicolas Winding Refn film.

Refn, I find to be an acquired taste, you either love this work, or you don’t. Personally, I think he is one of the best directors working today and I think this film proves why. Rather than just have another bog-standard gangster biopic, this film pushes the envelope, it pushes it so far it falls off the metaphorical table and truly revels in its insanity.

Tom Hardy is giving it his unhinged all in the lead role, we both care for him, but also see that he is an incredibly dangerous, unstable person. He straddles the line of audience perception and acceptance masterfully well and has enough manic energy to keep you glued to the screen until the end of the 90 minutes. Hardy manages to capture such a wide variety of emotions with his performance, it truly highlights how he is one of the best actors currently working.

Overall, never before have I seen a crime biopic that is dipping in as much crazy, off the wall, wacky personality as this. Truly a sight to see. It easily places amongst the best of Refn’s work and would be a good start point to new fans of his directorial style.

Pros.

Tom Hardy is magnificent.

The manic unpredictable energy.

The score.

Nicolas Winding Refn’s distinct sense of style.

Hardy’s monologues.

5/5

Reviewed by Luke

All Hallows Eve 2: Send In The Clowns

All Hallows Eve 2 is a horror anthology film directed by multiple people. The plot once again focus on a babysitter, this time played by Andrea Monier, who finds a VHS tape on Halloween. Once played the tape reveals several different tales of terror that the woman watches; while outside she is being stalked by a man in a pumpkin mask.

This film does not have a patch on the original. Nowhere near. Like many anthology films it is hit and miss, some of the segments such as the final one are good, even interesting, but some of them are awful. There is one about a kid that is scared of the monster under his bed and guess what the monster turn out to be real, it is dull, and it almost sent me to sleep. So as you can see it is a mixed bag.

A pro I will say about the film, is it kept consistent. By that I mean some horror anthologies will have one segment by light and jokey, another dark and brooding and then another comical one, the issue for me with that approach is that it feels jarring, it doesn’t feel connected and natural which a good horror anthology like Trick ‘R Treat understands is very important. This film for the most part kept a consistent tone, so I will applaud them for that.

The real issue with this film, the reason why it is such a lacklustre follow-up is because it is missing something? What? Why the clown of course. Art the Clown was the highlight and breakout star of the first film and his absents here is felt; it breaks the film. Not a single one of the new monsters or villains can hope to fill Art’s comically oversized blood-stained shoes.

Overall, it is passably okay, it varies in quality, but none of it is standout. Art the Clowns absents meant this film never really had a chance. Very unsurprisingly the film is lame.

Pros.

It is passable horror watching.

Some of the segments are cool.

Cons.

It is a mixed bag.

They really need Art The Clown back if they’re going to make another one of these.

A lot of the segments are dull and uninspired.

2/5

Reviewed by Luke

Wolf Creek: The Australian Micheal Myers

Wolf Creek is an Australian horror thriller film directed by Greg Mclean. The plot follows a group of tourists that become targeted by a demented xenophobic serial killer who hunts them down with the intent to kill them. This film was based on a series of real-life backpacker murders that happened in Australia a few years before the film was released.

In horror circles, this film has a reputation, it is held up as being a great slasher film and one of the best Australian horror films. However when I put it on I was incredibly disappointed with it. I thought it was boring and that it couldn’t hold a candle to other Australian horror gems like The Babadook and Boar.

I thought the only redeemable thing about this film is John Jarrett. Jarrett is an Australian national treasure and his involvement with this is the thing that got me excited for it. He plays the evil killer Mick Taylor and he gives the best performance he can, he is manic and off the wall and his character is the only really memorable part of this film.

My issues start with the fact that this film is boring, there is only about 10 minutes of it that are actually interesting and watchable. This film suffers from some of the worst pacing issues I have seen in a long time, the first act is a chore to get through and makes you want to turn it off and it doesn’t pick up until the last 10 minutes; even they aren’t worth the wait.

The characters are bland and forgettable and the based on true story bent to it has been done to death and this film is not doing anything new or interesting with it.

Overall, this film is a bore and one that is a test of strength to finish

Pros.

John Jarrett.

Cons.

It is boring.

It does nothing new with the format.

The characters are paper thin.

It takes a lot to finish it.

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

What We Do In The Shadows: Raising A Glass To Steve

What We Do In The Shadows is a horror comedy mockumentary film directed by Taika Waititi and Jeamaine Clement. The plot follows a New Zealand based group of vampires as they allows a film crew to follow them around for a few months, we get to see what goes on in the day to day of these vampires and see the wider Wellington supernatural community.

This film might be Waititi best. As far as comedy horror films goes this film is amazing. It manages to play off Vampire legends/mythology so well whilst also introducing its own mythology that only serves to deepen these vampires as characters. The comedy is also pitch perfect managing to be hilariously absurd and wonderfully weird.

Clement’s character of Valdislav is easily the best, being effortlessly cool and funny. The joke of having ‘The Beast’ turn out to be an ex-girlfriend of his is funny and it really serves to humanise the character as we see just how hung up on her he is. The other character are also amusing and charming, but none more so than Clement. Though Rhys Derby as the leader of a group of Werewolves is a close second, his and Clement’s chemistry is fantastic even though they’re only on screen for a very small amount of time together.

I love the world the film sets up, a world where zombies, witches, werewolves and other supernatural creatures exist, it is fascinating. To that end I also thought the character were really well fleshed out over the course of the film and by the end we had a good idea of what sort of vampires they were, a perfect example of characterisation done well.

Overall, a terrific horror comedy, definitely one of the best.

Pros.

The characters.

Clement.

Derby.

The world.

The humour.

Cons.

The TV show is just slightly better.

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Ps. Check out the fantastic TV show it is one of the best things on right now!

The Little Hours: 3 Very Strange Nuns

The Little Hours is a period comedy film directed by Jeff Baena. The plot sees servant Massetto (Dave Franco), go on the run after he sleeps with his master’s wife. In his effort to escape he finds his way to a convent filled with some very untypical nuns. Each nun has their own plans and designs for Massetto, and he has to try and endure it all while pretending to be deaf and mute.

This is not only one of the best comedies I have seen recently but also one of the best films too. I really enjoyed this film’s quirky, manic, off kilter sense of humour it made me laugh a number of times. I thought the comedic standout of the film was defiantly Nick Offerman as Lord Bruno, the cheated-on husband, his scenes with Franco were comedic gold.

I think the best thing this film does is you never really know where it is going, one minute it seems like the nuns just want to use Massetto to aid in their sexual frustration, but then it turns into something altogether more sinister. Sister Fernanda (Aubrey Plaza), and her friend Marta (Jemima Kirke) are witches.

However, rather than feel out of place and like a random twist the reveal of the witches makes sense in the context of early events and helps to make the overall picture of the film far clearer. I also liked the ending of the film where the 3 nuns decide to start their own coven along with Massetto, I think it is yet another cool twist I didn’t see coming. I think the ending as a whole is very well done too.

My one, minor, complaint would be the first 20 minutes are quite slow. Once this film gets going it is great and you can’t look away, but the first 20 minutes and slow and a bit boring and might lead you away from the film; stick with it though.

Overall, a brilliant hidden gem of a film that I highly recommend you watch!

Pros.

The humour.

The twists.

The ending.

The performances from everyone.

Cons.

The beginning is a little slow.

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke