My Spy: Child Actors Are The Worst

My Spy is an action comedy film directed by Peter Segal. The plot follows tough, manly CIA agent JJ (Dave Bautista), as he is sent to investigate the family of a potential nation threat. However, him and his partner get rumbled by Sophie (Chole Coleman), a young girl who runs circles around the two agents. The two then strike up at deal that basically ends in JJ becoming her new father.

Let’s get one thing straight: this is not an action movie. Other than the opening sequence there is no action in this film until the last ten minutes. To call it an action film is laughable, as SpongeBob probably has more of a right to call itself one over this film. Secondly when we do get action, the film seems to think it is better and cooler action than it actually is; what we get is boring at best.

Where this film shines is in the comedy of Dave Bautista. The man’s transition to comedy is one of the best things to happen to cinema in the last 10 years. He was very funny in this film and had a lot of great lines as did his partner Bobbi (Kristen Schaal). The little girl however was not funny. Now I am not going to say too many negative things about her performance as child actors are easy targets, but I will say she was incredibly annoying right from the off, not only that but the way she was hell bent on setting up JJ with her mum was bordering on obsessive and it was weird.

Obviously, the whole plot makes no sense, so I won’t even bother trying to explain it. I will say it is aggressively dumb though.

Overall, despite some highpoints like the comedy as well as great prop choices, this film is cringey and feels about 20 years too late. It is not an action film and despite a valiant effort from Bautista and Schaal it is not much of a comedy film either.

Pros.

Dave Bautista.

Kristen Schaal.
Cons.

The kid.

The dumbness of it all.

The weird way the kid went about setting up JJ with her mum.

2/5

Reviewed by Luke

Cheaper By The Dozen: Life After Kids

Cheaper By The Dozen is a family friendly comedy film directed by Shawn Levy, it is based on the 1950’s film of the same name. It follows mum and dad duo Tom (Steve Martin), and Kate (Bonnie Hunt), as they try and go through life with 12 kids, the film shows the ins and outs of the Baker family.

I just learnt when I watched this film recently that it was not a Disney film. It has that look to it, that very middle-class sense of chaos, the all-American dream where nothing bad every really happens and everything works out at the end of the day. This is live action formula Disney used with its’ live action movies in the 90s and the 00’s and still a little bit today. The fact that this film also adheres to it is what made me think it was a Disney film.

From a family friendly point of view this film has a lot of charm, it has some jokes, it has some heart, it has good positive messages; all round it is very wholesome. The humour didn’t work for me personally, I didn’t find any of the jokes making me laugh, but comedy is subjective. The heart of the film however did work on me, I thought the scene when Tom goes looking for his kid that has ran away is deeply touching and there is something in it that really resonates with me.

The performances are all what you would expect, that is not a bad thing. I think the best performance is probably from Martin himself and he is very believable as this dad character. I also think that Ashton Kutcher steals all the scenes he is in, he was the best supporting character.

Overall, this is a very formulaic family movie for good or bad that is what it is. The heart of the film connected with me in such a way that I loved it even if it was a bit cheesy and the humour didn’t work.
Pros.

Steve Martin.

Ashton Kutcher.

The heart.

The wholesomeness.

Cons.

It feels very formulaic and predictable.

The humour didn’t land.

3.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Road To El Dorado: Streets Paved With Gold

The Road To El Dorado is an animated adventure film directed by Bibo Bergeron and Don Paul. The plot sees two rouges Tulio (Kevin Kline) and Miguel (Kenneth Branagh), head down to South America around the time of the Cortes Invasion. The two are there to try and find the treasure of the city of El Dorado, one there they pretend to be Gods; funny shenanigans ensue.

This was a personal favourite of mine growing up, I watched it religiously. I recently watched it again to see if it holds up and I am pleased to say it does. Much like when I was a child, I enjoyed myself and found a smile never too far from my face.

I have been noted as saying I like animated films with talking animal sidekicks, I tend to find they’re my favourite characters, this film however negates that by having two leading characters rather than just one. The interplay between the two men is just what I would enjoy out of a relationship like Mulan and Mushu in that film, I buy the relationship and I think it is funny.

I love the South American inspired colour pallet and design choices of this film, much like I said about Pocahontas I feel like when I film taps into this sense of culture and identity it really brings it alive visually.

I thought all the characters were great, but Rosie Perez did end up stealing the show as Chel, she was very lovable and her relationship with the two men was always amusing.

Overall this film stood the test of time for me, so I hope you can watch it and enjoy it too. It is definitely one of DreamWorks’ hidden gems.

Pros.

The design and the animation.

The characters, particularly Chel.

A great voice cast doing good work.

The songs and the humour.

The bad guy felt threatening, as one should.

Cons.

None.

5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Mulan: Every Animated Film Needs Eddie Murphy

Mulan is an animated action and adventure film directed by Tony Bancroft and Barry Cook. The classic Disney plotline see resilient character Mulan (Ming-Na Wen), take up her family’s mantle of fighting in the Imperial Army, so that her elder father doesn’t get drafted. The only issue is that women are not allowed in the Imperial Army, so she must pretend to be a man, a feat she manages while accompanied by a wise-cracking dragon and a lucky bug.

I fondly remember watching this film when I was young, and I enjoyed it even more when I rewatched it. This is to me the perfect example of ‘Disney Magic’, there is something about the songs and the hand drawn animation that calls to me and makes me smile. However, it also makes me worry about the new remake coming out; as I strongly believe that it will be losing its’ heart.

I think the songs make this film, again another reason the song less remake troubles me. ‘Make A Man Out Of You’ to paraphrase, is one of my favourite Disney songs of all time and I think it perfectly captures the spirit of the film and is catchy and memorable.

I also enjoyed the characters Eddie Murphy as Mushu is perfect casting he manages to make the character immediately likable whilst also endearing and funny. Mulan herself is inspiring and shows that we can all be a little bit bravery and that we can all be heroes; I think she is one of Disney’s best role models. Finally, I enjoyed the villain Shan Yu (Miguel Ferrer), I thought he was everything a good villain should be, intimidating, menacing and memorable.

Overall, a Disney Classic that still has a place in 2020. It more than holds up and is still a lot of fun to watch!

Pros.

The humour.

Mulan herself.

The action.

The villain.

The songs.

Cons.

None

5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Playmobil The Movie: The Lego Movies Less Successful Jealous Cousin

The Playmobil Movie is an animated action and adventure comedy film directed by Lino Disalvo. The plot follows two siblings Marla (Anya Taylor- Joy) and Charlie (Gabriel Bateman), who get sucked into the Playmobil world and have to battle and adventure their way out. This movies soul objective is to prove that it is different from the Lego Movie.

I had heard nothing but bad things about this film, so I decided to give it a watch and see if it lived up to its infamous reputation. Though there were many issues with it, I will get into those, but I found it to be a passively okay thing to watch. It wasn’t offensively bad and turning my brain off and giving up on the plot helped me to enjoy it a lot more.

There is no sense to be found in this film, it feels very much as though they tried to stuff every different Playmobil playset into the film; logic be damned. Personally, I enjoyed the randomness of it all, but seeing a Viking, a Pirate and a Roman all together on screen fighting a robot is a lot and it is very hard to keep track off.

This film is a musical, I don’t know if you’re aware, I wasn’t and there are a lot of songs which are mostly forgettable; none of them are terribly good none are terribly bad either, that is how I would describe this film. My issue with the songs is that they went on for a bit too long a lot of the time and you ended up pleading for them to be over.

Anya Taylor-Joy is always a delight and she is trying her best here, but the writing and the acting in this film is non-existent. It stems from corny one-liners that you have heard a hundred times before to cash grab celebrity cameos; I see you Mr Radcliffe. I think the film’s choice to make Taylor-Joy’s character the surrogate mum was an odd one and there is a lot more you can read into it; the message the characterization sends is pretty bad.

Overall, this is very meh, if you want to turn your brain off you will probably like it, if you have small children, they will probably like it; as long as they aren’t too discerning. It is far from good, but it isn’t offensively bad either.

Pros.

It is mindless fun.

The randomness is amusing.

Cons.

It makes no sense.

The songs are not needed.

The implications and suggestions around Taylor-joy’s character.

It loses half a point for the weird awkward flossing midway through the film.

2/5

Reviewed by Luke.

The Lovebirds: Sometimes You Need A Sex Cult

The Lovebirds is a romantic comedy directed by Michael Showalter. The plot sees Jibran (Kumail Nanjiani) and Leilani (Issa Rae) as a couple that is on the brink, be forced into a crime caper that leads them to be framed for a murder they didn’t commit. The two must set aside their relationship troubles and prove their innocence.

I put this on because I was looking for a light-hearted rom-com and I think Nanjiani can be funny; I was right on both fronts.

Unlike the other Netflix rom-com I recently watched Love, Wedding, Repeat the leads in this film actually have good on-screen chemistry. Rae and Nanjiani play off each other well and are believable as a couple that has a few issues, but deep down still care about each other.

I think as far as the story goes it is very cliché and predicatable, but then again it always was going to be. The crime elements (proving their innocence), plays out exactly how you think it would, there are a very good laughs and interesting gags thrown in along the way, so it still manages to keep you entertained. The same can be said for the more traditional rom com elements.

Overall, if you’re looking for the same things, I was with it then you will be entertained, if you’re looking for something that will push you and the genre forward then look for something else. I think for what it is it is fine and entertaining enough; would I want a sequel? No I wouldn’t.

Pros.

Rae and Nanjiani.

The humour.

The gags and situations.

Cons.

It is very predictable.

It is the same thing you have seen before.

3/5

Reviewed by Luke.

Small Soldiers: Lets Take On The World

Small Soldiers is a comedy action adventure film directed by Joe Dante. The plot sees toys be created that can come to life, but rather than be like Chucky and kill humans these toys seem pretty content killing one another. However, local kid Alan Abernathy (Gregory Smith), finds himself such in-between the sides and eventually finds himself the protector of the Gorgonites; it is up to him to end the bitter war once and for all.

When I was a lot younger I use to watch this film near constantly, I was unaware at the time that it was made my the same filmmaker who made one of my favourite movies of all time Gremlins, but I decided recently to rewatch it and see if it still held up. I am pleased to say it does.

The plot is laughably nonsensical, but everything is a lot of fun. It encapsulates the magic of playing with toys when you’re a kid, the very real war the toys fight is similar to what would have been going on in your mind when you were playing with your toys when you were a kid; no? Maybe just me.

I think the CGI and the animatronics still look okay, yes, it looks dated, but it still looks convincing enough and it the effects didn’t take me out of the film once.

I think the performances are all pretty flat, a young Kirsten Dunst does her best with a very whacky script thar probably just says ‘scream at the toys’, but this film was never going to be a marvel of acting.

Overall, watching this was a lot of good fun it remined me of being a kid and I still think it holds up in a lot of ways. If you haven’t seen it and are not too discerning, I would say it is a must watch.

Pros.

The dumb fun.

The spectacle.

Reminds you what it is like to play with toys.

It is very wholesome.

Cons.

The acting isn’t great, and the effects look dated.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Made In Dagenham: Fight For What’s Right!

Made In Dagenham is a British biopic drama film directed by Nigel Cole. It tells the real-life story of the 1968 strike at the Ford Dagenham Car Plant and the fight for equal pay.

I think this film is riveting, I can’t say how close it keeps to reality, but I would assume quite close as the real people were involved. Watching it I learnt about events that I had no idea about, I feel like this part of British history doesn’t get much attention when it comes to films, so I am glad this got made. I think this film raises a lot of key questions about our society and the petty arbitrary divisions within it; with the takeaway being if you want change you need to fight for it.

I think from a characterization position the only character that is done well is Rita (Sally Hawkins), not only do we root for her to win, we get to see through her eyes just how unfair and plain wrong the world was, and to some extent still is. However, the other characters aren’t so rounded and that would be my major criticism of the film. Rosamund Pike’s character Lisa only really exists to give Rita a pep talk when things seem their darkest, outside of that she is not developed at all; she might not a played a vital role in the real events so that might be why she has so little development, but then why include her at all? The same can be said for a number of other characters as well.

Overall, I think the lack of character development doesn’t hold this film back as the main character feels rounded and it is through her eyes that we see this world. I think this is a must watch as it highlights parts of history we might be unaware of and exposes issues that we need to face. I think Hawkins is at her best here and I really recommend you check this one out!

Pros.

Highlight maybe forgotten history.

Hawkins.

Gripping to watch.

You care about the struggle.

Cons.

A lot of the characters other than Rita exist souly to push the story along.

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Love, Wedding, Repeat: Time To Move On

Love, Wedding, Repeat is a romantic comedy film directed by Dean Craig. The plot sees two almost lovers forced back together at a wedding, but will they be able to seize their moment this time around? Will there by some timey whimey shenanigans? Will none of it make sense? That’s a yes to all three.

So first off the bat, I really don’t like this film’s approach to relationships, I think it is tonally bio-polar; one minute the film will be saying how bad they are and then the next it will be saying they’re what gives life meaning. Get it straight, pick one or the other and stick with it.

Secondly the romantic leads in this film Jack (Sam Claflin) and Dina (Olivia Munn), have no on-screen chemistry together at all. None, not a drop. Whenever they interact together it feels cold and impersonal and then when they kiss at the end it seems awkward and forced, unwanted by both parties.

Thirdly, midway through the film someone dies, and the film resets itself, I am not going to go into the time bending too much because it was confusing and even after watching it, I don’t understand it. Clearly, someone over at Netflix HQ was like “we need a gimmick, you there, write one in”. No thought was given to it.

Finally, the side characters are awful just awful. This works in two senses, they’re awful people who do bad things and you actively root against and also, they’re awfully written at best they’re a collection of mean spirted clichés.

Overall, this film proves that just about anything can be green lit at Netflix and that is why they will continue to put out junk like this. Stay far away from this movie!

Pros.

I’m struggling to come up with something.

Cons.

The leads have no chemistry.

The time stuff feels gimmicky and forced in.

The side characters are awful.

It is not a joy to watch.

It feels too long.

0.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Look Of Love: Coogan Takes On The King Of Soho Sleaze

The Look Of Love is a British biopic about the life of pornography/ real estate mogul Paul Raymond (Steve Coogan), directed by Michael Winterbottom. The film charts his life, the highs and the lows, the trials and tribulations. It is a cautionary tale.

This film is a testament to having it all, but also being fundamentally empty. Raymond might be rich, but he isn’t happy, he is never happy. I think this film plays out almost like a tragedy because it shows us how this incredibly wealthy man is just trying to make himself feel something and he just can’t. I think this biopic could easily have just been showy and it is to an extent, I will get back to that, but more so it dives deep it analyse the mind of this man, that is what it sets out to do.

When I say this film is showy it is a critique. This film can be gratuitous at points, I understand the nature of Raymond’s work, but the nudity is constant and not really done in a tasteful way. It almost feels a bit creepy and voyeuristic at points, almost as though it is fantasy fulfilment. I understand that it was probably done to show how the character has everything, however, I thought it could have been done better.

Coogan is on top form here. He is trying to play the character in far more of a dramatic way than he normally does, there are a few comedic moments, but Coogan mostly plays the character straight and it works. Crucially the centrepiece of this film is Raymond’s relationship with his daughter (played by Imogen Poots), and I am glad to say that is strong. Both nails the drama and craft characters we end up caring about; even though they’re terrible people.

Overall, this is more thoughtful drama than comedy it is helped by great performances from Coogan and Poots but let down by over the top nudity.

Pros

Steve Coogan.

Nails the drama.

It makes you care about the characters.

The relationship between father and daughter.

Cons.

The nudity is too much.

3.5/5

Reviewed by Luke