Zombeaver: Creepy and Gross

Zombeaver is a creature feature film directed by Jordan Rubin. The plot sees a group of scantily clad teens head off to a lakeside cabin after one of them breaks up with their boyfriend. Their weekend is interrupted by a pack of murderous zombie beavers that seems hell bent on killing them all.

This film is gratuitous for all the wrong reasons, that is my one-line summary of this film.

Before I get into the thousand and one reasons why this film is trash, I want to talk about the one scene that I enjoyed. One of the very first scenes is a conversation between the girls and their landlady for the weekend, said landlady played by Phyllis Catz had me in stiches. She was the best part of this film.

Yes, it truly did peak at the 10-minute mark everything after there went straight down the toilet. So first off the bat the nudity is excessive, even for a film like this, it goes beyond the point of awkward and cringe and borders the tasteless.

Secondly, the main girl (the one who is cheated on), is vilified by the other characters and all of them seem to hate her by the end of the film. Also the cheater and the person he cheated with are also pushed as the real heroes of the film in a move that is simply baffling. All of the characters are firmly unlikable.

Overall, this is trash, its not even dumb fun it is just mean spirted, voyeuristic and soulless. You might have noticed I didn’t name the characters for the most part, that is because they’re so underdeveloped I couldn’t remember any of their names.

Pros.

That one funny scene with the landlady.

Cons.

Twisted morals.

Needless Nudity.

Stereotypes and other harmful clichés

It couldn’t make killer beavers fun.

0.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Mallrats: The Film Of The 90s

Mallrats is a stoner comedy film directed by Kevin Smith. The film follows best friend duo T.S (Jeremy London) and Brodie (Jason Lee), as they’re both dumped and must find a way to either move on or get back together with their respective girlfriend. Like all great quests, theirs start out at the mall.

I have a big soft spot in my heart for the films of Kevin Smith, I have fond memories of watching them growing up and after rewatching this one a few nights ago I have to say it still holds up.

I loved all the nerdy little in jokes and of course Brodie’s conversation with Stan Lee is the highlight of the movie. The conversation manages to be both moving and also incredibly funny and appeal to my comic fan side all at the same time.

I have also loved Jason Lee from a young age growing up watching My Name Is Earl so seeing him here in this prime was a treat. He was hilarious and easily had some of the funniest and most quotable lines in the whole film. Also seeing him interact with the future Randy (Ethan Suplee), was another highlight for me.

My one complaint would be I don’t think it has aged well. There are a number of jokes that seem a bit old fashioned by today’s standards and there is also a prolonged scene just staring at a woman’s breasts that feels a bit needless and creepy if I am being honest, but the 90’s were a different time I suppose.

Overall, this still stands up as one of Smith’s gems and one of the standouts of the era. It may offend those of a deflect sensibility, but it is still well worth the watch.

Pros.

The Stan Lee appearance

Jason Lee

The jokes

The realistic but also larger than life feel

Cons.

The icky creepiness.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Hotel Transylvania: Adam Sandler Hits You In The Feels

Hotel Transylvania is an animated family film directed by Genndy Tartakovsky. The plot sees Dracula (Adam Sandler), hide away from the world after the death of his wife. He raises his daughter Mavis (Selena Gomez), from the safety of his monsters only hotel and everything seems to be working out; that is until one day a human arrives.

Not to begin on too much of an animation rant, but I think when talking about western animation Sony Animation is often treated as the bastard stepchild no one wants around, yes, they have made some stinkers, but I have often found myself enjoying some of their movies. This is one of those times.In short, I don’t think they deserve the hate they get.

Yes, this film suffers from some of the same issues a lot of Sony’s other animated offerings have such as an overreliance on pop songs and flat fart jokes, but what lifts this film up for me is its heart. Say what you will about Adam Sandler he is always very easy to root for and that is incredibly true here. His relationship with his daughter and his arc about learning to trust humans again hit you in the feels in much the same way as some of Pixar’s greatest emotional beats.

I think this film is a lot of fun and very easy to turn your brain off and enjoy, I think the paring of Sandler and Andy Samberg (who plays the human Jonathan), is genius as the two have a great repour in this film; you can also see what I am talking about if you watch That’s My Boy. The two are a great comedic pairing.

Overall, this is a very nice easy to watch film that has a lot of heart and a few laughs here and there, I can’t help feeling like if this was made my Pixar or DreamWorks that it would have gotten more fanfare, but hey it is still an excellent film with plenty of charm.

Pros.

Sandler and Samberg

The right amount of heart

Genndy Tartakovsky

Cons.

The fart jokes don’t work for me

The cringy pop songs

3/5

Reviewed by Luke

Cheaper By The Dozen 2: Sweet Easily Becomes Sickly.

Cheaper By The Dozen 2 is a family comedy film directed by Adam Shankman, it serves as a sequel to the previous Cheaper By The Dozen film. The plot this time sees the Bakers head to a lakeside getaway where they get into a fierce competition with another family and only one can win.

This film is by far the worst of The Dozen movies, it has no charm. The less than stellar stuff in the first film you could overlook because it had heart and it made you smile but the same can’t be said for this film. In this instalment we see that Tom (Steve Martin), is actively a bad father, he doesn’t care about his family and just uses them to prove that he is better than the rival father. Whatsmore the worldview and messages of this film feel about 50 years behind the times.

Another thing I didn’t like about this film was the sickly-sweet ending. The baby being named Tom after Steve Martin’s character didn’t hit me in the feels, unlike when the family welcomed back its runaway member in the first film, this time it just made me roll my eyes. It is too sweet to the point that it becomes irritating.

There is some fun to be had, if you can ignore everything else wrong with it. Basically it is just more of the same but done worse with clearly less effort.

Ultimately this film proves that not everything needs a sequel, this certainly didn’t.

Pros.

More of the same if that is a good thing to you.

Some of the jokes land, but most don’t.

Cons.

Questionable messages.

A strange perviness in a wandering camera.

It doesn’t justify its existence.

The ending is cringeworthy.

2/5

Reviewed by Luke

Extra Ordinary: Meal For One?

Extra Ordinary is an Irish horror comedy film directed by Mike Ahern and Enda Loughman. The plot sees reluctant medium Rose (Maeve Higgins), forced back into the game when Satanists steal a virgin to sacrifice to their dark lord. She must believe in her gifts once again and stop the growing evil.

I actually thought this was rather good, the comedy didn’t always hit the mark for me, but it did make me laugh several times and when it didn’t, I still had a smile on my face. I was surprised to see Will Forte pop up, I was unaware of who was in it when I put it on, but he played a failed musician turned master of the darks arts with a real sense of flare that I enjoyed, he was delightfully over the top.

Moreover the dynamic between Forte’s Christian and his wife Claudia (Claudia O’ Doherty), was priceless. They had a really great back and forth and the chemistry between the two of them was palpable for all to see. O’ Doherty has been popping up in some really heart stuff recently and is really making a name for herself as a comedic actor; she practically stole the show in The Festival.

My one complaint would be the lead, while Rose is likeable enough, I found her to be a bit too bumbling, a bit too awkward, it felt forced and I didn’t really buy it. I also thought that her jokes were by far the weakest, as a lead she was a disappointment.

Overall, a subpar lead doesn’t slow this film down much as it has enough laughs and charm to keep you happy and satiated until the end.

Pros.

The comedy

The world/ the world building

Forte.

Claudia O’ Doherty

Cons.

An unpolished lead.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Finding Dory: A Journey Of Remembrance

Finding Dory is an animated comedy family film directed by Andrew Stanton and Angus MacLane. The film serves as a sequel to Finding Nemo, with the premise being that Dory (Ellen DeGeneres), needs to go on a journey to find her family that she has forgotten about; this journey is of course both literal and mental as her past is explored through a series of flashbacks.

Man, this film is a downer. Right from the off it is depressing, baby Dory lost and all alone is heart-breaking and it only gets worse from there. I don’t know if I just have a low tolerance when it comes to sad childhood stuff in films, but this one was a hard watch. There were times I actively wanted to turn it off because it was making me sad.

This is by no means a bad film though however; it is very watchable and entertaining. I found it was able to hold my attention which is usually a good sign. The issue with this film though is that it never does enough to justify its existence, for all the plot and Dory back story we get could have made for a great thirty to forty minute short, it does not however, feel as though it needs an hour and a half runtime.

I think the supporting cast definitely add a lot to this film and help pull the heavy weight. The two supporting characters I would point to are Destiny (Kaitlin Olsen), and Hank (Ed O’ Neil). Olsen’s character has a surprisingly warmth to her that makes her easy to root for from the moment we are introduced to her and O’ Neil’s character pulls expertly on our heart strings and makes us feel a lot while revealing very little.

Overall, a needless Pixar sequel that while emotionally weighty doesn’t do enough to justify its existence. Also this one might not be good family viewing as like I said before it is madly depressing.

Pros.

The emotion.

The supporting characters.

Dory herself.

Cons.

It does not justify its own existence.

It is thoroughly depressing.

3/5

Reviewed by Luke

Mrs Doubtfire: A Tribute To A Great

Mrs Doubtfire is a family comedy film directed by Chris Columbus. The plot sees Daniel (Robin Williams), lose custody of his kids, so to keep seeing them he pretends to be a Scottish nanny called Mrs Doubtfire. As the film goes on Daniel’s two lives become more and more unstable leading to an inevitable conclusion.

Before I get into the review I just want to say that the message of the film, if you lie to your ex wife and pretend to be someone else she will end up letting you see your kids again and warm to you, is more than a little off. However, it is family comedy movie so I guess we can look past it.

For the most part, message aside I thought this film was a barrel of laughs, Williams is giving it his all and you can really tell. He shines as both Daniel and Mrs Doubtfire, both have incredibly funny and memorable scenes that will easily put smile on your face. I also think that Williams shines in the more dramatic moments that are a lot more strait laced and serious. The final courtroom scene when he loses any hope of regaining custody of his kids is a tour de force for Williams as a dramatic actor, he more than sells the scene; you feel his pain.

My other very minor complaint is the ending is too sweet. I know that it is a family comedy, so it is hardly going to end with Daniel sitting alone depressed, but the ending didn’t feel real or earned to me, it felt too neat and unbelievable.

Overall, if you can get past the sappy ending and the questionable message of the film, then there is a lot of enjoyment to be had with this film; turn your brain off and be entertained.

Pros.

Robin Williams.

The comedy.

The drama.

The wider supporting cast.
Cons.

The message.

The ending.

3.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Toy Story: They’re Alive!

Toy Story is an animated family comedy film directed by John Lasseter. It shows us a world where Toys are sentient, alive, and exist souly to entertain their human owner; who of course have no idea that they are walking and talking when he/ she leaves the room. As the story begins, we meet a handful of these toys, but the main two that we follow for the rest of the film are Buzz Lightyear (Tim Allen), and Woody (Tom Hanks). Buzz is the new toy on the block and must adapt to his new life, whereas Woody knows the game and becomes jealous of Buzz and he seems to be the new favourite. The two go on an adventure together which proves eye-opening for the both of them.

This is a Pixar masterpiece for a reason. A fond remembrance made me put this film on and boy was I impressed, despite this film coming out over 20 years ago the animation and the themes put some of the animated films of recent years to shame in my mind. To say it holds up would be an understatement, it is timeless.

There are so many iconic moments in this film that would become legend as the series progresses, you get things like the abused toys rebelling against Sid, the first time we are introduced to the aliens and many more. It was nice to see these moments again.

The heart of this film is the relationship between Buzz and Woody and the friendship that forms between them over the course of the film. I have to say watching it back all these years later it still got me; forget Disney magic this shows us the now extinct Pixar magic when they had a direct line to your heat.

Overall, if Toy Story was released now even in all of its late 90’s glory it would still impress people and blow them away, it transcends time and manages to make you feel the same sense of wonder and joy as the first time you watched it.

Pros.

The animation quality.

The theme song.

The fond sense of nostalgia.

The themes are still timely.

The friendship between Buzz and Woody.

Cons.

None

5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Scooby Doo And The Reluctant Werewolf: Made To Sell Toys

Scooby Doo And The Reluctant Werewolf is a made for TV animated film directed by Ray Patterson. The plot sees Dracula (Hamilton Camp), and his legions of doom seek out Shaggy (Casey Kasem), to take up the role of the werewolf driver for the Monster Road Rally.

This film is the epitome of rose-tinted glasses. I remember watching this film as a kid and enjoying it, clearly as a kid I had no taste.

This much like the recent released Scoob film is not a Scooby Doo film, the core element of what makes Scooby Doo, Scooby Doo, which is solving mysteries, is nowhere to be found. The film seems more focused on being some kind of racing film, or perhaps some botched spin-off of Whacky Races. I wouldn’t be surprised if this film was just made to sell toys.

For a film that just skirts the hour and a half mark it feels very long. I for one found all the racing, which makes up a good portion of the second half of the film to be tiresome and repetitive; it was the same thing over and over again to the point where you just wanted it to be over.

Moreover, some of the comments made in this film are blue, they would have been blue for a kids animated film in the 80’s, but in today’s climate they are even worse. There are multiple jokes where Dracula threatens to beat his wife, yes, I understand he is the bad guy, but why put them in a kid’s film? I get that it is a reference to the Honeymooners, so I am left asking is this for the parents watching?

Overall, unlike many of the childhood films I have reviewed recently this one didn’t hold up. It was boring and to me not a real Scooby Doo film.

Pros.

Neat monster characters.

Scooby and Shaggy have fun.

Cons.

The domestic abuse jokes.

The repetitive racing.

It is just boring.

2/5

Reviewed by Luke

You’ve Got Mail: A Spam Email

You’ve Got Mail is a romantic comedy film directed by Nora Ephron. The plot sees millionaire Joe Fox (Tom Hanks), begin emailing independent bookstore owner Kathleen Kelly (Meg Ryan). For most of the film they don’t know who is on the other end of the email. However, the two do have many interactions in the real world and hate each other bitterly, can you see where this is going?

This film manages to do the impossible, it makes Tom Hanks unlikable. Both the characters in this are deeply unlikeable and cliché filled, but before I get into that I just want to tell you a little something about Tom Hank’s character. So he is a ruthless millionaire you seems to care about no one but himself, he treats the people around him like dirt, he drives sales of Kathleen’s bookstore so low they are forced to close. If all that wasn’t bad enough, he catfishes her, he realises far before she does that they have been emailing each other, and rather than tell her decides to play games with her; he is a sadist.

So why pray tell should we root for them to be together? What sort of message is that sending? Hey kids its okay to play with people’s feelings and manipulate them for your own amusement, questionable to say the least. Meg Ryan’s character is little better, but she is highly irritating from the get-go, as she encapsulates the self-righteousness of a small business owner in the worst and most stereotypical way, her high-road approach is grating.

Overall, maybe this was a ‘you had to be there’ sort of film. To me, I can’t understand why this is considered a modern classic. Both the leads are vapid, self-entitled, arseholes and the message is a toxic as they come. Maybe I am missing something.

Pros.

The generic rom com beats.

Cons.

The message of the film- cat-fishing is not romantic

Both the leads are awful people.

You don’t or shouldn’t want the leads to be together.

It feels cliché and lacklustre.

1.5/5

Reviewed by Luke