The Santa Claus: Assuming An Identity

The Santa Claus is a Christmas family comedy film directed by John Pasquin. The film sees a business man (Tim Allen), accidentally kill Santa Claus and then assume this identity and responsibilities, meanwhile he is fighting a custody battle with his ex-wife.

I truly do think that Tim Allen makes this film, he pulls of the charming everyman well and when he becomes Santa Claus he plays him with enough warmth and light that it is a near perfect incarnation of everything that entity stands for.

I enjoyed the darker undertones of the story, that you can see just from my slight plot description. I don’t know whether these were intentionally or just an unintended by product, but regardless it gave me something to laugh at during the film; I would guess it was more likely deliberate as these darker moments carry over into the sequel as well (review coming soon).

My one complaint would be that the custody plotline is not needed. There is already a lot going on with Allen’s character transforming into and becoming Santa Claus, we don’t need another fairly generic drama sub plot as well; it just makes the film feel cluttered and bloated.

Overall, this film is a lot of fun thanks in no small part to an excellent performance from Allen as well as a focus on the lore of Santa Claus.

Pros.

The transformation

Tim Allen

The darker and more sinister moments which I found funny

Cons.

The child custody subplot

Pacing issues

The wider supporting cast add nothing

3/5

Reviewed by Luke

Fatman: Santa Claus Will Put A Bullet Right Between Your Eyes, Go On, Test Him

Fatman is a Christmas based action film directed by Eshom Nelms and Ian Nelms. The plot sees a budding young sociopath put a hit out on Santa Clause (Mel Gibson), after he receives a deserved lump of coal for Christmas. What follows is a battle to the death between not so jolly Old Saint Nick and hitman Johnathan Miller (Walton Goggins), who has his own axe to grind against ‘the fatman’.

Though I don’t like Mel Gibson, because he is a vile human being, I managed to separate my personal feelings from this film and ended up really enjoying it. I like the inherent silliness in the concept, a hit man trying to kill Santa Claus, I think the film deals with its absurdity well and plays it up to great effect.

The action scenes where nicely done as well and I enjoyed the final fight as well, the ending was unexpected, I thought that the fight was clearly going to end one way, it did not. I always enjoy it when a film deviates from where I think it is going especially so if they do it in a clever way. I thought the final scene, when Santa pays a visit to the kid that put a hit on him was the best scene of the entire film, not only was it incredibly tense, but it knew how to play off Gibson as an actor; the role really does feel tailor made for him.

Overall, though reviews have been mixed on this one, I personally really enjoyed it. I thought it was silly and fun but also a really well thought out action film that capitalised on its star.

Pros.

The role was tailor made for Gibson

The tone is just right

The action

The premise

Cons.

The elf cgi is not good

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Four Christmases: Just Tell Your Parents You Don’t Want To Go Home For Christmas, It Is Not Hard

Four Christmas is a Christmas comedy drama film directed by Seth Gordon. The plot sees a couple’s relationship be put to the test as they have to attend several different family Christmases.

Personally, I never viewed Vince Vaughn as a strong romantic lead. I think he is better suited to the arsehole anti hero roles, like Fred Claus, or the more action/drama orientated roles he has been getting recently, but for a while Hollywood really wanted him to be the next big romantic leading man.

Maybe I am reading this film with a 2020 viewpoint, but the romance narrative is deeply troubling here. Vaughn’s character is often a dick towards Witherspoon’s and yet he is never brought to task over it, she just passively allows him to treat her like dirt. Witherspoon’s character only moment of resistance is when she stands up to him because she wants kids and he seemingly doesn’t; the whole implication of this is deeply sexist. The message of the film is off.

Understanding that this film is supposed to be a comedy film makes it even worse, both in terms of the jokes and there implications, but also the fact of how deeply unfunny the film itself is. Usually Vaughn can make me laugh, but I didn’t laugh once here, moreover, I found the film to reliant on slapstick for its jokes which again didn’t land.

Overall, this is a failure as a comedy film and has a deeply troubling message underpinning the film that makes the ending feel bittersweet and ultimately leading to ruin.

Pros.

It is watchable

Cons.

Vaughn and Witherspoon have no chemistry

It rewards abusive behaviour

It has a deeply troublesome message

The ending is not deserved

It is not funny

0.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Man Who Invented Christmas: Lay Off The Hallucinogens Charlie

The Man Who Invented Christmas is a Christmas themed biographical drama film focusing on Charles Dickins (Dan Stevens) as he creates his classic Christmas novel A Christmas Carol, we see the trials and tribulations that lead to one of the best-selling books of all time.

I enjoyed the presentation of this film, I thought the blending of standard biopic elements and more out there fantasy elements, as he talks and interacts with his own characters, was quite an inspired choice as it allowed the film to feel fresh and not like just another biopic.

Stevens was serviceable in the role; he can convey both sides of Dickens as a character and does a good job of making the character seem whole and rounded rather than a caricature. He is the best of the cast, though that is not a tall order as a lot of the other actors are bland and forgettable.

I thought the film had pacing issues and included a number of side plots and other stories that should have been cut, I understand the film was trying to show the motivations and scars of Dickins himself, but they could have done it in a more concise and audience friendly way, as it stands certain parts are far too exposition heavy.

Overall, through the choice of how it presents its story and its characters this film feels slightly above the standard biopic and is enjoyable, however a mostly bland cast and a few pacing issues stop it of being great.

Pros.

The fantasy and reality aspects

Stevens

It feels like a well-considered Christmas film

Cons.

The wider cast are bland

It has pacing issues

It goes too far in trying to explain what drives Dickins and relies too heavily on exposition

2.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

My Christmas Inn: How Charming Is Small Town America? Really?

My Christmas Inn is a Christmas based romantic comedy directed by Peter Sullivan. The plot sees big city advertising executive Jen (Tia Mowry- Hardrict), head to a small Alaskan town to inherit her Great-Aunt’s inn. Naturally whilst there she falls in love and there is some needless conflict that resolves itself just in time for Christmas.

This is the last of the low rent Netflix-Hallmark made for TV Christmas romantic comedies that I will be reviewing. As I was writing that plot description I was getting flashbacks to many other similar holiday rom coms that I have reviewed recently, so with that in mind I am going to call it quits on this front after this review is done.

There is nothing good or bad about this film it is just incredibly bland. It is clear no care goes into these films and it seems like they have a check list of things to include. This includes the forced romance that feels incredibly unnatural and neither actor has any warmth even slightly towards the other let alone chemistry. As well as a needless crisis that could easily be resolved and is inserted into the film to try and give it some stakes, which it then fails at doing anything with.

Overall, there is nothing redeeming about this film. It can’t even be bold and bad it is just cookie cutter generic to fit in line with hundreds of other bland boring holiday romantic comedies, stay far away from this one.

Pros.

It is watchable, if tedious is your thing

Cons.

The romance doesn’t work

The feel-good elements don’t work

All of the actors involved in this can’t act

The drama feels shoehorned in

It will put you to sleep, it is borderline unwatchable

0.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Princess Switch, Switched Again: Wait What? I’m Confused

The Princess Switch: Switched Again is a Christmas set romantic comedy, drama film directed by Mike Rohl, serving as a follow up to the previous Princess Switch film, as well as taking place in the wider Netflix MPCA shared universe. The plot this time around see Princess Margaret (Vanessa Hudgens), go into crisis as she is soon to be sworn in as the new Queen of Montenaro. Never fear a switch with her double will save the day.

This film becomes incredibly confusing, as we now have three Vanessa Hudgens’ character that at points in the film all look identical; it borders on high concept filmmaking trying to keep track of them all in your head, let alone remember each’s storyline and arc.

The plot for the most part is trash, it is a cliché wrapped up in a trope; there is nothing new or innovative. However, surely you already knew that. I will thank the screen writer for not making this plot as predictable as I thought it was going to be, my first assumptions for where it was going where proven wrong and dare I say it I was somewhat surprised with where it went.

The film is really made by the delightfully over the top performance of Vanessa Hudgens who serves as a likeable lead and is different enough in all her characters for it to never end up feeling samey.

I also enjoyed the Rose McIver cameo from A Christmas Prince, it is nice to see the shared universe grow, it was a nice touch.

Overall, still fun, but a weak sequel by far.

Pros.

Vanessa Hudgens

All of the Hudgens characters feel separate and unique

The wider MPCA Netflix shared universe

Cons.

It is overly confusing

The plot is garbage

2.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Happiest Season: Normalising Abusive Relationships?

Happiest Season is a Christmas set romantic comedy directed by Claire Duvall. The plot sees Harper (Mackenzie Davis), bring her girlfriend Abby (Kristen Stewart), home for Christmas with her family. However, Harper has not told her family that she is a lesbian, nor has she told them about her and Abby’s relationship, so the two are placed into an awkward situation.

I have been looking forward to this one for a while, it was the only new Christmas film this year that I was genuinely excited for, okay maybe Princess Switch 2 as well a little, which makes this all the harder to write. Yes, before I get into the review I will acknowledge that in terms of representation this film is a big step forward, it is certainly the first big, well promoted, LGBTQ+ Christmas film I have ever seen. It is nice to see a Christmas rom com from a non-straight, perspective; hopefully this will be the first of many in Hollywood. That said lets get into why I didn’t like the film.

This to me did not fee like a romantic comedy, hell if anything it felt like a tragedy. The key relationship between Harper and Abby is deeply toxic, Harper outed one of her friends in high school to divert from people finding out that she was a lesbian, and she also treats Abby like absolute dog shit for most of the film; even going so far as to reject her in the films climax. With all that said, I was left infuriated when the two ended up together at the end, they shouldn’t have, Abby deserved better. By showing this ending it almost goes so far as to say Harper’s abusive behaviour is fine or at least not as bad because look they still ended up together.

Moreover, this film wastes it wider, very talented supporting cast. The only character in this film that felt like a real human person was Abby, Kristen Stewart’s performance made me feel something, we the audience felt bonded to her throughout her experience. The same can’t really be said for Davis, who is frequently played as the film’s antagonist, at least that is how I read it, which makes it even more problematic that they ended up together. Additionally, Alison Brie and Aubrey Plaza are both in this film and though they each have one pivotal scene for the most part they don’t really do much and their talents are left pretty much wasted.

Overall, if this film had ended with them not together, and this was a comment on toxic relationships and looking out for yourself and loving those who truly love you, then I would have given it higher. However, as is, I find it almost condones emotionally abusive relationships and presents them as normal.

Pros.

Stewart

There are a few funny moments

Cons.

The ending

Having them survive as a couple

Wasting the ensemble

Normalising abuse

2/5

Reviewed by Luke

Nativity 3: Taking Christmas Away From Kids, The Further Rise Of The Sociopath Known As Mr. Poppy

Nativity 3 is a British Christmas comedy film directed by Debbie Isitt. The barely comprehensible plot follows Jeremey Shepard (Martin Clunes), an Ofsted inspector who comes to St Bernadette’s. Whilst there he is knocked unconscious by a donkey and loses all of his memory, they then go to New York for a flash mob competition, or something, and Jeremey is also getting married and can’t remember his bride that is also going on.

It is fair to say just from that brief description that this film is far too busy. Not only that, but it is trying to be and do so many different things at once whilst failing at all of them. None of it really makes any sense, and the flash mob storyline feels incredibly dated and more than a little cringe.

Clunes can’t hold a candle to Freeman and Tennent who came before him and passes through the film with as much enthusiasm as someone who has just found a new parking ticket on their car. Mr Poppy (Marc Wootton), the bane of the previous films and easily the worst part of the series is even worse here. We get that he is supposed to be a man-child, but here he is straight up malicious blatantly not caring for others as long as he gets his way.

Whilst watching this film I had one thought in my mind, ‘how long is left’, that says all you need to know.

Overall, give this a wide birth.

Pros.

It makes good background noise

Cons.

It is not funny

It is not charming

The story is incomprehensible and cringe

Mr Poppy might be my most loathed cinematic character

0.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Love The Coopers: All We Need To Unite The Left And The Right Is A Family Christmas

Love The Coopers is a Christmas comedy drama film directed by Jessie Nelson. The plot focuses on a dysfunctional family coming together to celebrate Christmas.

Someone turned the sentimentality up to critical with this one, there are some parts of this film that are so soppy and over the top that it would make a Hallmark Christmas film question the taste.

The plot is delivered in vignette style, very reminiscent of something like New Years Eve with the key difference being that all of these people we are following are part of the same family. We get the old couple who have drifted apart trope, we get the angsty teen try to impress a girl trope, but hey it is Timothee Chalamet so some people will say it is Oscar worthy, and more; besides, all the stereotypes you could want are all there.

The most cringe storyline of all was the Olivia Wilde one, about a daughter bringing home a random person from the airport so she didn’t get judged by her parents. Of course she ends up falling in love with his guy despite him the opposite of everything she thinks and cares about.

The greatest crime of this film is how badly it wastes its cast of talented performers.

Overall, a step up in some ways from the usual Hallmark/Netflix trash, but in other ways namely wasting its cast it is a big step down. What a missed opportunity.

Pros.

It is watchable

There are a few good moments

Cons.

It wastes its cast

It is the definition of overly sentimental

It is cringe

2/5

Reviewed by Luke

Cup Of Cheer: The Vaccine, To Christmas Film Fatigue

Cup Of Cheer is a Christmas spoof comedy film directed by Jake Horowitz. The plot serves to mock the standard Christmas film, with the big city girl Mary (Storm Steenson), going to a small town to write a news story, of course while she is there she meets handsome small-town guy Chris (Alexander Oliver), and the two strike up a very obvious romance. Also they need to save the coffee shop that Chris works at/owns?

This was just what I needed, I have been watching a lot of average to bad Netflix Christmas films recently, that all follow an incredibly similar structure, and it is nice to not only see that structure be recognised here, but also mocked for just how generic it is. Someone needs to stick it to terrible Netflix and Hallmark Christmas films.

The comedy reminded me of the better ‘movie’ films. It was often absurdist and gross out but done in a smart way that actually made me laugh. A lot of the gags in the film are surprisingly strong and the commentary is of course spot on.

Despite being designed to be an anti-Christmas film, film I found that it made me feel seasonal. I enjoyed the romance between the leads, I thought it was funny and touching in equal measure. All of the romantic cliches are trotted out here and laughed at which also adds a comedic element to the romance which greatly benefits it.

Overall, the perfect remedy for anyone suffering with Christmas film fatigue.

Pros.

The humour

The spoof and the commentary

Strong chemistry between the leads

A likeable and a funny romance

Cons.

Some of the side characters felt a little underdeveloped, but maybe that was the point?

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke