Playmobil The Movie: The Lego Movies Less Successful Jealous Cousin

The Playmobil Movie is an animated action and adventure comedy film directed by Lino Disalvo. The plot follows two siblings Marla (Anya Taylor- Joy) and Charlie (Gabriel Bateman), who get sucked into the Playmobil world and have to battle and adventure their way out. This movies soul objective is to prove that it is different from the Lego Movie.

I had heard nothing but bad things about this film, so I decided to give it a watch and see if it lived up to its infamous reputation. Though there were many issues with it, I will get into those, but I found it to be a passively okay thing to watch. It wasn’t offensively bad and turning my brain off and giving up on the plot helped me to enjoy it a lot more.

There is no sense to be found in this film, it feels very much as though they tried to stuff every different Playmobil playset into the film; logic be damned. Personally, I enjoyed the randomness of it all, but seeing a Viking, a Pirate and a Roman all together on screen fighting a robot is a lot and it is very hard to keep track off.

This film is a musical, I don’t know if you’re aware, I wasn’t and there are a lot of songs which are mostly forgettable; none of them are terribly good none are terribly bad either, that is how I would describe this film. My issue with the songs is that they went on for a bit too long a lot of the time and you ended up pleading for them to be over.

Anya Taylor-Joy is always a delight and she is trying her best here, but the writing and the acting in this film is non-existent. It stems from corny one-liners that you have heard a hundred times before to cash grab celebrity cameos; I see you Mr Radcliffe. I think the film’s choice to make Taylor-Joy’s character the surrogate mum was an odd one and there is a lot more you can read into it; the message the characterization sends is pretty bad.

Overall, this is very meh, if you want to turn your brain off you will probably like it, if you have small children, they will probably like it; as long as they aren’t too discerning. It is far from good, but it isn’t offensively bad either.

Pros.

It is mindless fun.

The randomness is amusing.

Cons.

It makes no sense.

The songs are not needed.

The implications and suggestions around Taylor-joy’s character.

It loses half a point for the weird awkward flossing midway through the film.

2/5

Reviewed by Luke.

Small Soldiers: Lets Take On The World

Small Soldiers is a comedy action adventure film directed by Joe Dante. The plot sees toys be created that can come to life, but rather than be like Chucky and kill humans these toys seem pretty content killing one another. However, local kid Alan Abernathy (Gregory Smith), finds himself such in-between the sides and eventually finds himself the protector of the Gorgonites; it is up to him to end the bitter war once and for all.

When I was a lot younger I use to watch this film near constantly, I was unaware at the time that it was made my the same filmmaker who made one of my favourite movies of all time Gremlins, but I decided recently to rewatch it and see if it still held up. I am pleased to say it does.

The plot is laughably nonsensical, but everything is a lot of fun. It encapsulates the magic of playing with toys when you’re a kid, the very real war the toys fight is similar to what would have been going on in your mind when you were playing with your toys when you were a kid; no? Maybe just me.

I think the CGI and the animatronics still look okay, yes, it looks dated, but it still looks convincing enough and it the effects didn’t take me out of the film once.

I think the performances are all pretty flat, a young Kirsten Dunst does her best with a very whacky script thar probably just says ‘scream at the toys’, but this film was never going to be a marvel of acting.

Overall, watching this was a lot of good fun it remined me of being a kid and I still think it holds up in a lot of ways. If you haven’t seen it and are not too discerning, I would say it is a must watch.

Pros.

The dumb fun.

The spectacle.

Reminds you what it is like to play with toys.

It is very wholesome.

Cons.

The acting isn’t great, and the effects look dated.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Sisters Brother: Joaquin Rides Again

The Sisters Brother is a quirky crime drama western directed by Jacques Audiard. The plot follows the infamous duo assassins The Sister Brothers (played by Joaquin Phoenix and John C. Reilly), as they are sent on a mission to hunt down Hermann Kermit Warm (Riz Ahmed), a chemist who has made a breakthrough in gold prospecting.

The thing that stands out to me about this film is the performances. We get layered nuanced character all round. Heavy hitter like Phoenix and Gyllenhaal knock it out of the park, making what could otherwise be very standard ‘cowboy’ characters feel rounded and three dimensional.

Adding to this the relationship between the Brothers is also very well done by both men and very convincing. I keep saying John C. Reilly is a very talented dramatic actor and this film proves it again. We understand the brothers as people, we can see what makes them tick and understand the ins and out of their relationship the ups and the downs.

Another thing I liked was the fact that this film bucked the trend and didn’t show all the big action spectacle gun battles, sometimes even going out of its way to deliberately keep them off camera. I liked how this film focused more on the brothers and their relationship instead, the drama and the characters were the heart of the film; personally I preferred that to a big noon showdown, but that is just me.

For the most part I thought this film did a good job of pacing itself, but there were scenes that did drag on for a bit too long, I understand that some of these scenes were supposed to be setting the atmosphere, but they felt redundant in that capacity and as such should have been cut.

Overall, a fresh and interesting western film boosted by some strong performances, but it could have been a tight hour and forty-five minutes; a tighter edit needed.

Pros.

Phoenix

Riley.

Gyllenhaal

Not showing the action.

Cons.

It should have been shorter; it felt a bit bloated.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Batman, Gotham By Gaslight: Boring Batman

Gotham By Gaslight is a straight to DVD superhero film directed by Sam Liu. The plot is an Elseworlds Batman tale set in a Victorian Gotham City that see the Caped Crusader go up against Jack The Ripper. This leads to a fight atop a burning ferries wheel and a traumatising reveal.

I have been looking forward to this for quite a while, but I have to say it was not good.

My main issue with this film is that it managed to make Batman fighting Jack The Ripper, an insanely cool premise, be boring. The pacing of this film is so poorly done that it becomes infuriating after a while, you just want to see the two of them fight, but they just keep padding it out and padding it out.

The characters lack any kind of charisma, they just feel bland. No new ground is tread here the only character that is slightly furthered is James Gordon (Scott Patterson), and that is in a very Elseworlds way; he is Saucy Jack.

The two things I enjoyed about this film are they don’t make Joker Jack, which would have been incredibly obvious, and I also love the characterisation of Selina Kyle aka Cat Woman (Jennifer Carpenter). I thought Selina in this was pitch perfect she was very take charge and was at the forefront of the fight back. I also loved how this film handled her relationship with Bruce.

Overall, not doing the obvious and having a good Bruce Selina dynamic is not enough to make up for the fact this film could not hold my attention.

Pros.

Selina.

Not making Jack The Ripper Joker.

Cons.

It wastes a great premise.

It was boring.

It feels long for an hour and 20 minutes.

It didn’t leave an impression.

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

Batman, Assault On Arkham: Fear The BAT

Batman: Assault On Arkham is an animated superhero film directed by Jay Oliva and Ethan Spaulding. The plot follows the infamous Task Force X/ or as they’re otherwise known The Suicide Squad as they lead an Amanda Waller directed raid on Arkham Asylum in an effort to retrieve an object of immense value from within its walls.

I have been meaning to watching this film for some time, I really like the DC animated movie universe, and this is yet another jewel in it. Though I liked it, this film is what the DCEU Suicide Squad movie should have been. An adult and gritty take on the Batman rouges gallery that isn’t constantly trying to get you to care about and root for its leads. This film knows that the members of the Suicide Squad are villains and treats them as such.

I like the lethality this film has towards its characters, it reminds me of the comic books, people die in the Suicide Squad all the time hence the name; so I appreciate that this film doesn’t pull any punches in that regard. I also enjoyed the Batman fight scene, I thought it was very Arkham esque; I later learned that this film was in the same universe as the Arkham games and that made sense.

Overall, I liked the tone and approach of this film. I also enjoyed the animation, I thought it was very easy on the eye and wasn’t too over the top. I would gladly watch another film set in this universe as I think there are more stories to be told and more characters to explore. That might be my only real issue with the film the characters were not flushed out at all.

Pros.

The animation.

The tone.

The fight with Batman.

The violence overall.

Cons.

The character feel very one note.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke.

Valhalla Rising: The Meek Shall Inherit The Earth

Valhalla Rising is an English language Danish film directed by Nicolas Winding Refn. The plot, as far as I could understand, is about a nameless warrior called One Eye (Mad Mikkelsen), who befriends a young boy and together they travel. The become entangled in a crusader quest to the Holy Land that goes badly wrong and the men end up far away from where they were meant to go; finding themselves outnumbered they must choose to fight or die.

I am a Nicolas Winding Refn fanatic, he is an acquired taste for sure, but for the most part he is a great, visionary director. However, even I must say this is a miss. Much like Only God Forgives, a later film of his that would prove to be incredibly divisive, this film feels like the definition of the saying style over substance.

A lot of the time you will have no idea what is going on as there is very little actually said and you can never be sure if what you’re seeing is real or one of One Eye’s visons; that he has frequently but the film never really clarifies. To say it is confusing would be kind.

It is also painfully slow, to the point of you wanting to turn it off. It goes on and on and you’re left begging for something to happen because it has become tedious.

However, there are some positives. If you like Refn’s style then there is a lot of it on display here, it is a very stylish film; that is something I enjoyed about it. Also Mikkelsen is also terrific, he has a great physicality and is very believable as a nomadic warrior, this film will make you want to see him in more action roles.

Overall, despite the coolness and Mikkelsen’s performance this is a bad film. It is overly long, boring and confusing. So pretty much a fail across the board, if you’re a die hard Refn fan then you might maybe find something of worth here, but it is doubtful.

Pros.

Mikkelsen.

Cons.

It is too long.

It is boring.

It is confusing.

Defines the phrase style over substance.

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

Pixels: Gamers Save The World

Pixels is a science fiction comedy film directed by Chris Columbus. The plot sees three men who were pro gamers when they were kids go up against aliens from outer space, that have taken the form of classic 80s videogames. These men must rise to the occasion and save the world one boss battle at a time; this one is for all the gamers out there.

Adam Sandler gets a bad rap, yes, a lot of his films are lazy and has humour only a child could enjoy, but Chris Columbus was directing this so how could it be bad? I am pleased to tell you that it isn’t bad, despite what you might have read about it, it is in fact quite entertaining and enjoyable.

I think this film is very similar to Ready Player One in a lot of ways, both try and play on nostalgia from the past, specifically 80’s nostalgia and both have CGI representations of characters that were popular during that period. However, where I feel Pixels has the leg up on Spielberg’s film is that it actually has a heart. You can tell the people who made this film grew up playing these games, the love is there as well as the know-how.

The comedy I found surprisingly funny, not just one or two laughs, but consistent laughter throughout. I think though some people might think it is cringe I thought it was a laugh riot, Michelle Monaghan especially shined. Monaghan had all the best jokes and some of the best moments too; her on screen chemistry with Sandler was also quite strong, I think they should work together again for sure.

Overall, the reason why I loved this film so much was the joy, the kind od joy that comes from really liking something. As I have said it is clear to see that the people making this film loved these games, the attention to detail is fantastic. Every aspect of this film is perfect right down to the soundtrack which has a lot of great hits. A must watch, even if it does star Adam Sandler.

Pros.

Sandler is hilarious.

The film cares deeply.

Michelle Monaghan is fantastic.

It is fun to watch.

If you’re a gamer you will like it even more.

Cons.

None

5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Bronson: Fighting All Day Long

Bronson is a crime biopic film directed by Nicolas Winding Refn. The film recreates the real-life of Britain’s most notorious prisoner Charles Bronson (played here by Tom Hardy), showing his early life, his stint as a bear knuckle boxer and of course all the time he has spent in prison over the years.

This is a Refn film to its core, anyone who has ever seen one of his other films such as Drive, or The Neon Demon will know what I mean. There are many tense scenes in this film shot in striking red lighting to the backdrop of a techno soundtrack. If that sounds familiar it should do, these are the things that make a film a Nicolas Winding Refn film.

Refn, I find to be an acquired taste, you either love this work, or you don’t. Personally, I think he is one of the best directors working today and I think this film proves why. Rather than just have another bog-standard gangster biopic, this film pushes the envelope, it pushes it so far it falls off the metaphorical table and truly revels in its insanity.

Tom Hardy is giving it his unhinged all in the lead role, we both care for him, but also see that he is an incredibly dangerous, unstable person. He straddles the line of audience perception and acceptance masterfully well and has enough manic energy to keep you glued to the screen until the end of the 90 minutes. Hardy manages to capture such a wide variety of emotions with his performance, it truly highlights how he is one of the best actors currently working.

Overall, never before have I seen a crime biopic that is dipping in as much crazy, off the wall, wacky personality as this. Truly a sight to see. It easily places amongst the best of Refn’s work and would be a good start point to new fans of his directorial style.

Pros.

Tom Hardy is magnificent.

The manic unpredictable energy.

The score.

Nicolas Winding Refn’s distinct sense of style.

Hardy’s monologues.

5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Assault On Precinct 13: Hold The Line

Assault On Precinct 13 is a neo-noir, action, thriller film directed by John Carpenter. The plot sees a group of local drug warlords swear a blood oath against the Los Angeles Police Department as well against the citizens of LA. This culminates in an intense shootout at the titular Precinct 13, between the police and the gang.

This film is John Carpenters take on 70’s era exploitation movies. It has a very urban, very lived in world, which is added to by the way it is filmed with it having a rough around the edges look to it. As such a lot of the scenes, especially the violent ones, feel eerily realistic; the scene when members of the gang are driving down the street looking for people to kill will send chills down your spine as it is all too real.

My one complaint about this film is that the initial 20 minutes are quite hard to follow. I don’t know if it is because a lot of things happen in a short space of time, or because of the way it is structured, but I found myself at the half hour mark not really having a clue what was going on. However, the rest of the film reminded that.

I think this film has a lot of iconic moments and characters that are destined to leave an impact on you after you have watched. The final showdown between the gang and the police at the end of the film is really well done and very tense, however I think the best scene in the film is the initial storming of the police station; Carpenter at his tension inducing best.

Overall a classic for a reason, though it might have a few storytelling issues especially when looked at through a modern lens; despite this it holds up.

Pros.

A great feel to it and sense of atmosphere.

The tension.

The final showdown.

Cons.

It is quite slow.

It is hard to tell what is going on in the beginning.

3.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Kubo And The Two Strings:Familial Legacy

Kubo And The Two Strings is an animated action and adventure film directed by Travis Knight. The plot revolves around a young boy called Kubo (Art Parkinson), who must go on a quest to find his deceased fathers mystical armour set after his mother is killed on the Moon King’s (Ralph Fiennes) orders.

This is a delightfully charming animated adventure, that really packs an emotional punch as well. The animation is beautiful and is easily the highlight of the film, you can tell that every scene was painstakingly put together, and you can see the amount of thought and care that went into every scene. The Sisters (Rooney Mara), are especially well done, they are incredibly creepy every time they’re on screen and look straight out of Japanese mythology.

The voice cast are all doing a magnificent job, with Theron and McConaughey being of course the standouts. When it is revealed that Monkey (Charlize Theron), and Beetle (Matthew McConaughey), are actually Kubo’s parents there is a real emotional weight to it. The film is not afraid to go dark with these emotions as well, as both of these characters sacrifice themselves for Kubo by the end of the film.

As a result of this, the film has a bittersweet feeling to it, the kind of feeling that makes you appreciate what you have. It takes your preconceived notions that ‘a kid’s film will have a happy ending’ and leaves you with Kubo being an orphan; and for that I applaud them.

This film feels like a love letter to Japanese Cinema as well as to Samurai movies of years gone by, it is a beautiful homage and one I can’t recommend enough!

Pros.

Beautiful animation.

The characters.

The emotion.

The choice to have a sad ending.

The adventure.

Cons

None.

5/5

Reviewed by Luke