Wasp Network: A Strange Message

The Wasp Network is a thriller film directed by Olivier Assayas. The plot sees a group of Cuban defectors, who aren’t actually defectors, infiltrate multiple anti-Castro group to destroy them from within.

This film is confusing. Until the last 20 minutes I had no idea what was going on, the film does not explain what is happening very well and the characters go from anti-Castro to Cuban patriots in a heartbeat. It needs to be explained better.

What’s more the film feels strangely pro Castro as a piece of art and almost seems to say that these people were heroes for what they did, it makes Cuba look like the victim and ignore a lot of the terrible things the regime did. It is very murky as to who if anyone was in the right in the situation and the issue as a whole was far more complex than this film makes out.

Another thing I disliked about this film was how long it was. This film is on for just over two hours, but it feels like double that as it stretches on and on and on. Furthermore a lot of what is happening on screen isn’t interesting, so it is very hard to pay attention to it. There are vast sections of this film that could easily have been cut out, to make it work well and feel less self-indulgent.

Overall, a boring slog that has a very strange message.

Pros.

The acting especially Cruz and Ramirez.

Cons.

It is hard to tell what is going on

It far exceeds its welcome

It omits key details

It is incredibly boring

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Rhythm Section: A New Low

The Rhythm Section is an action thriller film directed by Reed Monaro. The plot follows Stephanie (Blake Lively), a woman whose whole life fell apart after the death of her parents. When she learns that the circumstances around her family’s death are more malicious then they first appeared she sets out to find those responsible and kill them.

This film was one of the biggest box office bombs of all time and for good reason. It is god awful. Let’s take it apart.

The worst thing about this film is how familiar it feels, it has been there done that written on every frame there is nothing new to it. It reminded me in many ways of something like American Assassin and had a wannbe John Wick vibe to it, it was so keen to try and replicate those films that it failed to do anything to set itself apart.

Another major problem is the cast. Lively is miscast badly, she isn’t convincing as an action star, even when the film makes a point to highlight her lack of fighting ability; she is still unconvincing. She struggles to sell the dramatic scenes either and I felt nothing for her character, I just didn’t care. Furthermore, this film casts Jude Law to play Stephanie’s mentor/ trainer, which in and of itself isn’t a bad move, the issue comes from the fact that they give him nothing to do and waste him at every available opportunity.

Overall, this film is worse than bad it is boring and generic, that is all that needs to be said.

Pros.

They play into the fact that she can’t fight well

Cons.

You’ve seen it done better before

The characters are awful

It is boring

The action is weak

0.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Pirates Of The Caribbean, Curse Of The Black Pearl: Yo Ho

Pirates Of The Caribbean, Curse Of The Black Pearl is an action adventure film directed by Gore Verbinski. The plot sees a ghostly pirate crew go searching for the key to remove their curses, the only things standing in their way are a blacksmith, a lady of means and a dazzling pirate captain.

I have been a fan of the Pirates Of The Caribbean movies since I was young, I saw all the films from 2 onwards in the cinema, they were a big part of my early life. Yes, they dipped in quality after 3, rather dramatically so, but there is still a lot of quality to be found in the early entries of the franchise. I decided to rewatch the very first film and see if it still holds up; conclusion, it does.

The reason this film works so well is twofold, firstly the writing is sharp and well thought-out. Things are mentioned early on that come to be important later on and on repeat viewing this becomes all the clearer and you see the merit more. The character dialogue sparkles and the chemistry between the three leads is really built on and developed.

The other part of the reason is the scene stealing performance by Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow. Sparrow for better or for worse is one of the most significant pop culture characters of the last 20 years, he has appeared everywhere from spoof movies to videogames and it is all because of the fact that Depp’s’ performance stole our hearts and captivated our imaginations.

Overall, this is a great adventure film that stands the test of time, my one complaint is that there is no reason it should be as long as it is, and it really should have been cut down in editing.

Pros.

The sense of fun/mischief

Depp’s performance

It makes pirates cool again

The trio work well together

Cons.

It is way too long

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Da 5 Bloods: Never Forget

Da 5 Bloods is a war epic directed by Spike Lee. The plot sees a group of Vietnam Veterans return to the country to find some gold they stashed away years earlier, as well as to find the body of their lost comrade and bring him home.

Before I get into it all I just want to say this is an incredibly powerful film on multiple different levels, especially in the current climate. Some of the points raised in the film hit very close to home and will affect you. I recommend taking some time at the end of the film to just sit and think about it, there is a lot to unpack.

The main foursome is made up of Paul (Delroy Lindo), Eddie (Norm Lewis), Otis (Clarke Peters), and Melvin (Isiah Whitlock Jr). Each man gives a stellar performance and the chemistry between the four goes past believable to enthralling. You can genuinely see them all being old army buddies.

I think Paul is the most layered and interesting character of the group as he is a broken man. He highlights the effects of war that stay with a person long after the fighting has ended; he sees visons of his dead best friend and squad leader that haunt him. Also the dynamic between him and his son David (Jonathan Majors), is very nuanced and well developed.

This comes very close to being a perfect film, however there is one thing that drags it back: the fourth wall breaking. There are a couple of scenes towards the end of the film where Paul talks directly to the camera and recites a monologue to us the audience, the issue with these scenes is that they break the flow of the film. They take us out of the action and feel oddly jarring.

Overall, a masterpiece with only a few slight faults. A must watch.

Pros.

The themes.

The characters.

The bonds.

The impact.

Cons.

Addressing the audience.

4.5./5

Reviewed by Luke

My Spy: Child Actors Are The Worst

My Spy is an action comedy film directed by Peter Segal. The plot follows tough, manly CIA agent JJ (Dave Bautista), as he is sent to investigate the family of a potential nation threat. However, him and his partner get rumbled by Sophie (Chole Coleman), a young girl who runs circles around the two agents. The two then strike up at deal that basically ends in JJ becoming her new father.

Let’s get one thing straight: this is not an action movie. Other than the opening sequence there is no action in this film until the last ten minutes. To call it an action film is laughable, as SpongeBob probably has more of a right to call itself one over this film. Secondly when we do get action, the film seems to think it is better and cooler action than it actually is; what we get is boring at best.

Where this film shines is in the comedy of Dave Bautista. The man’s transition to comedy is one of the best things to happen to cinema in the last 10 years. He was very funny in this film and had a lot of great lines as did his partner Bobbi (Kristen Schaal). The little girl however was not funny. Now I am not going to say too many negative things about her performance as child actors are easy targets, but I will say she was incredibly annoying right from the off, not only that but the way she was hell bent on setting up JJ with her mum was bordering on obsessive and it was weird.

Obviously, the whole plot makes no sense, so I won’t even bother trying to explain it. I will say it is aggressively dumb though.

Overall, despite some highpoints like the comedy as well as great prop choices, this film is cringey and feels about 20 years too late. It is not an action film and despite a valiant effort from Bautista and Schaal it is not much of a comedy film either.

Pros.

Dave Bautista.

Kristen Schaal.
Cons.

The kid.

The dumbness of it all.

The weird way the kid went about setting up JJ with her mum.

2/5

Reviewed by Luke

Mulan: Every Animated Film Needs Eddie Murphy

Mulan is an animated action and adventure film directed by Tony Bancroft and Barry Cook. The classic Disney plotline see resilient character Mulan (Ming-Na Wen), take up her family’s mantle of fighting in the Imperial Army, so that her elder father doesn’t get drafted. The only issue is that women are not allowed in the Imperial Army, so she must pretend to be a man, a feat she manages while accompanied by a wise-cracking dragon and a lucky bug.

I fondly remember watching this film when I was young, and I enjoyed it even more when I rewatched it. This is to me the perfect example of ‘Disney Magic’, there is something about the songs and the hand drawn animation that calls to me and makes me smile. However, it also makes me worry about the new remake coming out; as I strongly believe that it will be losing its’ heart.

I think the songs make this film, again another reason the song less remake troubles me. ‘Make A Man Out Of You’ to paraphrase, is one of my favourite Disney songs of all time and I think it perfectly captures the spirit of the film and is catchy and memorable.

I also enjoyed the characters Eddie Murphy as Mushu is perfect casting he manages to make the character immediately likable whilst also endearing and funny. Mulan herself is inspiring and shows that we can all be a little bit bravery and that we can all be heroes; I think she is one of Disney’s best role models. Finally, I enjoyed the villain Shan Yu (Miguel Ferrer), I thought he was everything a good villain should be, intimidating, menacing and memorable.

Overall, a Disney Classic that still has a place in 2020. It more than holds up and is still a lot of fun to watch!

Pros.

The humour.

Mulan herself.

The action.

The villain.

The songs.

Cons.

None

5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Playmobil The Movie: The Lego Movies Less Successful Jealous Cousin

The Playmobil Movie is an animated action and adventure comedy film directed by Lino Disalvo. The plot follows two siblings Marla (Anya Taylor- Joy) and Charlie (Gabriel Bateman), who get sucked into the Playmobil world and have to battle and adventure their way out. This movies soul objective is to prove that it is different from the Lego Movie.

I had heard nothing but bad things about this film, so I decided to give it a watch and see if it lived up to its infamous reputation. Though there were many issues with it, I will get into those, but I found it to be a passively okay thing to watch. It wasn’t offensively bad and turning my brain off and giving up on the plot helped me to enjoy it a lot more.

There is no sense to be found in this film, it feels very much as though they tried to stuff every different Playmobil playset into the film; logic be damned. Personally, I enjoyed the randomness of it all, but seeing a Viking, a Pirate and a Roman all together on screen fighting a robot is a lot and it is very hard to keep track off.

This film is a musical, I don’t know if you’re aware, I wasn’t and there are a lot of songs which are mostly forgettable; none of them are terribly good none are terribly bad either, that is how I would describe this film. My issue with the songs is that they went on for a bit too long a lot of the time and you ended up pleading for them to be over.

Anya Taylor-Joy is always a delight and she is trying her best here, but the writing and the acting in this film is non-existent. It stems from corny one-liners that you have heard a hundred times before to cash grab celebrity cameos; I see you Mr Radcliffe. I think the film’s choice to make Taylor-Joy’s character the surrogate mum was an odd one and there is a lot more you can read into it; the message the characterization sends is pretty bad.

Overall, this is very meh, if you want to turn your brain off you will probably like it, if you have small children, they will probably like it; as long as they aren’t too discerning. It is far from good, but it isn’t offensively bad either.

Pros.

It is mindless fun.

The randomness is amusing.

Cons.

It makes no sense.

The songs are not needed.

The implications and suggestions around Taylor-joy’s character.

It loses half a point for the weird awkward flossing midway through the film.

2/5

Reviewed by Luke.

Small Soldiers: Lets Take On The World

Small Soldiers is a comedy action adventure film directed by Joe Dante. The plot sees toys be created that can come to life, but rather than be like Chucky and kill humans these toys seem pretty content killing one another. However, local kid Alan Abernathy (Gregory Smith), finds himself such in-between the sides and eventually finds himself the protector of the Gorgonites; it is up to him to end the bitter war once and for all.

When I was a lot younger I use to watch this film near constantly, I was unaware at the time that it was made my the same filmmaker who made one of my favourite movies of all time Gremlins, but I decided recently to rewatch it and see if it still held up. I am pleased to say it does.

The plot is laughably nonsensical, but everything is a lot of fun. It encapsulates the magic of playing with toys when you’re a kid, the very real war the toys fight is similar to what would have been going on in your mind when you were playing with your toys when you were a kid; no? Maybe just me.

I think the CGI and the animatronics still look okay, yes, it looks dated, but it still looks convincing enough and it the effects didn’t take me out of the film once.

I think the performances are all pretty flat, a young Kirsten Dunst does her best with a very whacky script thar probably just says ‘scream at the toys’, but this film was never going to be a marvel of acting.

Overall, watching this was a lot of good fun it remined me of being a kid and I still think it holds up in a lot of ways. If you haven’t seen it and are not too discerning, I would say it is a must watch.

Pros.

The dumb fun.

The spectacle.

Reminds you what it is like to play with toys.

It is very wholesome.

Cons.

The acting isn’t great, and the effects look dated.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Sisters Brother: Joaquin Rides Again

The Sisters Brother is a quirky crime drama western directed by Jacques Audiard. The plot follows the infamous duo assassins The Sister Brothers (played by Joaquin Phoenix and John C. Reilly), as they are sent on a mission to hunt down Hermann Kermit Warm (Riz Ahmed), a chemist who has made a breakthrough in gold prospecting.

The thing that stands out to me about this film is the performances. We get layered nuanced character all round. Heavy hitter like Phoenix and Gyllenhaal knock it out of the park, making what could otherwise be very standard ‘cowboy’ characters feel rounded and three dimensional.

Adding to this the relationship between the Brothers is also very well done by both men and very convincing. I keep saying John C. Reilly is a very talented dramatic actor and this film proves it again. We understand the brothers as people, we can see what makes them tick and understand the ins and out of their relationship the ups and the downs.

Another thing I liked was the fact that this film bucked the trend and didn’t show all the big action spectacle gun battles, sometimes even going out of its way to deliberately keep them off camera. I liked how this film focused more on the brothers and their relationship instead, the drama and the characters were the heart of the film; personally I preferred that to a big noon showdown, but that is just me.

For the most part I thought this film did a good job of pacing itself, but there were scenes that did drag on for a bit too long, I understand that some of these scenes were supposed to be setting the atmosphere, but they felt redundant in that capacity and as such should have been cut.

Overall, a fresh and interesting western film boosted by some strong performances, but it could have been a tight hour and forty-five minutes; a tighter edit needed.

Pros.

Phoenix

Riley.

Gyllenhaal

Not showing the action.

Cons.

It should have been shorter; it felt a bit bloated.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Batman, Gotham By Gaslight: Boring Batman

Gotham By Gaslight is a straight to DVD superhero film directed by Sam Liu. The plot is an Elseworlds Batman tale set in a Victorian Gotham City that see the Caped Crusader go up against Jack The Ripper. This leads to a fight atop a burning ferries wheel and a traumatising reveal.

I have been looking forward to this for quite a while, but I have to say it was not good.

My main issue with this film is that it managed to make Batman fighting Jack The Ripper, an insanely cool premise, be boring. The pacing of this film is so poorly done that it becomes infuriating after a while, you just want to see the two of them fight, but they just keep padding it out and padding it out.

The characters lack any kind of charisma, they just feel bland. No new ground is tread here the only character that is slightly furthered is James Gordon (Scott Patterson), and that is in a very Elseworlds way; he is Saucy Jack.

The two things I enjoyed about this film are they don’t make Joker Jack, which would have been incredibly obvious, and I also love the characterisation of Selina Kyle aka Cat Woman (Jennifer Carpenter). I thought Selina in this was pitch perfect she was very take charge and was at the forefront of the fight back. I also loved how this film handled her relationship with Bruce.

Overall, not doing the obvious and having a good Bruce Selina dynamic is not enough to make up for the fact this film could not hold my attention.

Pros.

Selina.

Not making Jack The Ripper Joker.

Cons.

It wastes a great premise.

It was boring.

It feels long for an hour and 20 minutes.

It didn’t leave an impression.

1/5

Reviewed by Luke