Woman Of The Hour: Anna Kendrick Needs Her Ego Stroking

Netflix indulges yet another narcissist.

This time it is Anna Kendrick who wants to direct herself in a film she thinks is going to raise awareness about serial killers.

So once again quality is sacrificed so that Netflix can stroke a famous person’s ego. I don’t know who told Kendrick that she was a good director but whoever it was wasn’t a true friend as true friends don’t lie.

You get a fairly standard serial killer story which might entertain you if you are in the mood for some low brow Netflix trash that lacks any kind of substance. Kendrick doing press for this tried to say that the film had all these deep things to say about society, it really doesn’t in anyway.

I found the acting to feel very much like acting and the film and a dislikable almost self-aware like quality to it with it feeling almost like Kendrick was looking into the camera a few times, if this is her directorial style I don’t like it.

Overall, Netflix needs to start putting quality first.

2/5

Pros.

It is watchable

It is short

Cons.

Kendrick is a bad director

The performances are bad

It lacks any originality

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Paddington In Peru: A Little Bear Goes A Long Way

Summary

Paddington, Ben Whishaw, goes to Peru.

Perhaps it was because I had been so looking forward to this film for month or because of how big a fan I am of the franchise that I ultimately left this film feeling disappointed.

Now this is still a very good film, it is as charming as ever and it is nice to see Paddington having a number of sweet moments with his aunt, they were genuinely very effecting and made me tear up. The Hugh Grant cameo at the end was also sublime.

I think my issues with the film came threefold, firstly I missed Sally Hawkins in the role of Mrs Brown, Emily Mortimer, was fine but she just didn’t match the same zany energy Hawkins had in the previous two films. Secondly this film missed out for not having Paul King directing it as compared to his style this film felt visually and cinematically a little flat, it felt far more paint by numbers in terms of gags and quirks than the previous two films.

Thirdly, I liked seeing more of Paddington’s back story be explored that was nice and see even smaller cub Paddington was lovely, however, I would have preferred a Windsor Gardens based adventure. That is not just because more of the classic Paddington gang could have been in it such as Peter Capaldi’s Mr Curry, but also because the new setting just didn’t add much to the film overall or give the adventure anymore of a flavour. I suppose what I am getting at is a normal Paddington story is wonderful and quirky and London based this felt like a generic adventure plot line grafted onto a Paddington script.

A final point before we close, Olivia Colman really needs to fire her agent. She has become typecast, and whilst she had a few funny moments and one great musical number here for the most part it is incredibly obvious that she is the villain and she is. All she can seemingly play is manic women often with an evil streak and that’s fine but her schtick is starting to wear out. She needs to play against type soon.

Overall, a good film in many ways but undeniably a step back from the previous two films.

4/5

Pros.

Aunt Lucy

Hugh Grant

More classic Paddington moments

The opening song

Cons.

Sally Hawkins looms large over the film as does Paul King

Olivia Colman is typecast

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Legend Of The Tomb Raid: Series Overview

Summary

Haley Atwell’s turn as Lara Croft is a botch from top to bottom.

It is such a shame to say that Hayley Atwell who was a great fit for Croft, though I would have gone live action, is really wasted here. The series feels very generic and as thought it could be based on anything, the series doesn’t seem to understand the games at all.

Moreover, the physicality of Lara Croft with her looking jacked and pretty masculine doesn’t track either, in the games she doesn’t look like that, in no other fiction is she shown in such a way. That is also true for the fact that now Lara is BI a detail that again has no origin in anything other than it’s a Netflix show so of course she is now.

Crucially the series doesn’t have any of the heart or the fun of the games, raiding tombs doesn’t have to be all doom and gloom and action Lara does have a softer and funnier side, and that is actually shown in the games.

Overall, Netflix has done what it does with everything .

0.5/5

Pros.

It isn’t as bad as it could have been

Cons.

Netflix modernise it

It has nothing to do with the games or the character

It wastes Atwell

It has no fun or heart

It makes Lara look masculine

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The Front Room: I Made A Mess

Summary

A woman, Brandy, and her mother in law, Kathryn Hunter, don’t get on and it’s a horror film for some reason.

So going into this I didn’t know who Brandy was, I haven’t see I Know What You Did Last Summer in a few years, and so I looked her up and I saw that she was a singer and so going into the film that was my impression. As such I thought that she would be a bad actor, and of course she was and it was only later when I read more I realised that she is supposed to be an actor to, much to my surprise.

Furthermore, I question what the horror was here, as there doesn’t seem to be any. The mother is adversarial but she is never out and out evil, out side of that there is nothing. There is never a threat that the mother will kill the lead, so therein lies a problem. If the horror is supposed to come from the fact the mother is racist, then it doesn’t work as outside of California folks don’t have a fit to that, they see it and don’t like it but just accept that some people are old/stuck in their ways/ trash and know that having a cry and a fit about it won’t make them stop being that way.

Overall, other than a few unintentionally funny scenes there isn’t all that much here.

1.5/5

Pros

The M.E.S.S thing is funny

It is watchable

Cons.

It is not scary

The acting is bad

The commentary is on the nose

It has pacing issues

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Timestalker: One Of The Most Unlikable Characters In Cinema History

Summary

A woman, Alice Lowe, reincarnates over and over again chasing after a guy who doesn’t like her back.

This film was a vanity project much like Woman of the Year, review coming soon. Lowe’s other films have also drawn from her own life, but here not only is she actor and star but the whole film is an effort in narcissism. This is textual meaning that in the plot of the film the central character and her desire is the plot of the film, there is nothing more to it than that, there is no character growth, she likes the guy then eventually realises he will never be the one for her but then ends the film with him liking her causing a character development regression and undoing the growth.

To make matters worse the film has nothing to say, it is about a thin as a McDonalds paper bag, it is shallow and the character unlikable. You may root or care for her if she wasn’t so self-involved yet she is so you don’t. The film borrows a lot from the dark comedies of Ben Wheatley yet unlike his work in say Sightseers for example, there is no subtext here no broad commentary and crucially no jokes.

I don’t think I laughed once during the entirety of the film, and I would say that no one else in the entire cinema did, but then no one else was there.

Overall, I think it is sad that films like this get made because in British circles Lowe is a minor name, a better film that could have made more and been more highly praised could have been made with this money.

1/5

Pros.

It is relatively short

Cons.

It isn’t funny

It is boring

It has nothing to say

Lowe isn’t very good in it

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Smile Two: Nothing To Smile About

Summary

The smiling demon is back again.

Honestly I was fairly lukewarm on the first film in this series as it was plain to see just how derivative of It Follows it was, however, I did think it had some redeeming moments. This one does not.

For a start you have a main character, Naomi Scott, who is so unlikeable you are rooting for the monster throughout, which is not what the film wants. The reason why she is so unlikable is because she is so whiny and self-involved, she is constantly the victim whilst whining and being a diva.

Follow this up with a film that is just manically depressing, not scary, which a lot of modern horror films seem to get muddled up. The film is just oh these terrible people do bad things and then go insane and pass it on, it just feels grim and dark. There is no levity or even camp to it.

The ending I think is the worst part of the whole film. So from the moment they announced that the new lead character was going to be a singer the ending was obvious. The singer would end the film killing themselves in front of thousands of people passing on the demonic virus at a massive scale, creating pandemonium. I was right.

Overall, there is nothing new, novel or even remotely scary about this film, scratch that there is a scare here, that it will likely get a sequel.

1/5

Pros

The songs were catchy

Cons.

It isn’t scary

The woman is unlikable

It is too long

It has a predictable ending

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Cinema Issues: The Truth About Toxic Fans

Written by Luke Barnes

In this cinema issues article we are discussing the currently pushed idea of the toxic fan and using some critical thinking skills.

So firstly it would be remiss to say that no elements of racism and bigotry exist in fandom or that people getting doxed or sent death threats doesn’t happen as it does, by both sides frequently. There are always bad apples in every bunch, however, things are being twisted.

The first thing to address is the matter of proportion, this is that within a fandom be they left right or whatever there will be bad apples, but they are a small number, to say a whole fandom is anything based on a few people is inherently in bad faith.

Onto the next point, misuse. So people online use terms like racist and bigot like they are going out of fashion and crucially they use them incorrectly. The most common way of this is that they say anyone who says something they don’t like or who criticises something they like is bigoted. This is not only silly and degrading to the terms themselves but also it leads then for the echo chamber to echo that now the fandom are all bigoted when they may not be at all and the original inciting incident was just someone saying they didn’t like the sound design of a film.

A final thing to consider is the idea of tribalism and scapegoats, it is very nice for a studio when a film comes out and does badly to go we didn’t make a bad film the fans are just toxic. Moreover, those who like the film can just rally behind that line and not thinking critically buy into it and go yeah I really liked it so anyone that doesn’t must have another reason for not liking it, enter the they are bigots line.

Overall, whilst there is and always will be an element of toxicity in fandoms, criticising a film, casting choice, plot point or whatever is non toxic, someone disliking a film you like is non toxic, someone saying they didn’t like the costumes in a show is not bigoted or racist and you are devaluing those terms by using them so casually. The war against toxic fans by some online and by studios is not only blown up way out of proportion and enflamed by political tribalism, but also unwinnable and frankly wrongheaded. As often a lot of the people who are calling people toxic are being that themselves by going after people they don’t like online.

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Megalopolis: At Least Aubrey Plaza Seems To Be Having Fun

Summary

An old man believes his own hype and makes a mess he calls art.

For all of you who may defend this film and call it art don’t bother. Too often these days if a film flops or is a trainwreck there will be a small group of people, be they political bed fellows of the film’s message or just those wanting to seem cool by liking something everyone else doesn’t.

The issue with films like this is that it makes studios more hesitant to take chances on other big budget films in the future that might be a bit more risky and for what an old man’s vanity. The writing was on the wall for this film when it struggled to get distribution plus the fact thar Coppola’s last few films have been pretty bad.

Rather unsurprisingly this is a mess, it has neither fully formed characters or anything you could call a plot, it is just a series of people and things loosely tied together. The narrative post release is that it is art and supposed to be hard to understand and to figure out, but that just sounds like an excuse to be trash to me.

Overall, Coppola should have stuck to making wine.

0.5/5

Pros.

It is funny bad at times

Cons.

It makes no sense

It has no story

The cast are wasted

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Velma: Mindy Kaling’s Career Just Won’t Die

Summary

Velma, voiced by Mindy Kailing, cannot do us all a favour and die and so has to come back as a snarky and thoroughly unlikeable ghost.

Bitter is the word I would use to describe this special, bitter was a word that encapsulated the whole of Velma’s run. Now I know that it was possible but unlikely that win they filmed this they knew it had been cancelled, but it feels as though this special is aware of its cancellation and wants to get in as many jabs as it can in order to settle scores.

We get a repeat of all of Kailing’s classic lines, such as how she fetishes white guys whilst also having all her characters be super liberal and hate them. She is quirky and insecure yet demands to be the centre of attention all the time. Finally who could forget making the whole affair as sordid and needlessly unpleasant just for the hell of it. It was always clear that Kailing and co had no respect for the source material when they made this show but once again we get that point hammered home for us.

Does this special serve as a fitting end for the series? No, ultimately it chooses to go out flipping everyone, audience included, off one last time rather than trying to set out any meaningful closure for the characters or hint at somethings yet to come.

Overall, this special was just as hateful as you would expect. All I can say is at least it is over now

0/5

Pros.

None

Cons.

It shouldn’t exist

It is hateful

It doesn’t offer an ending or any kind of closure

It is obnoxious

It is unfunny

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Curse of the Crimson Alter

Summary

An antiques dealer, Mark Eden, goes off in search of his missing brother only to become wrapped up in a Lovecraftian horror.

This is perhaps an underrated Christopher Lee caper, and you can see why. Whilst it has some charm with its Lovecraftian horror it feels perhaps the most dated of Lee’s output that I have recently seen. By that I mean the first scene of the film with the creature looks awful, the costume and the lighting both contribute to this. I know that these films were made on a shoe string budget but even still it looks bad.

The plot is also a little thin on the ground as it has the effect of feeling like it is simply a lot of things happening without much rhyme or reason to connect them or make them make sense. Again I gave it some leniency due to the type of film it is, but come the end credits I would be hard pressed not to mention the fact it doesn’t make any coherent sense.

Overall, the sort of budget period horror film that only the most die hard fan could enjoy

2/5

Pros.

Some fun moments

It tries to be different and edgy

Cons.

The horror doesn’t work

It doesn’t make a lot of sense

It is silly when it should be creepy

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