Notions On Toxic Celebrity

In this piece I want to talk about what I see to be the main failing of celebrity culture, the belief that somehow celebrities are the best of us. I write this piece as it has just come out that allegedly Vin Diesel was difficult and did not behave on the set of Fast X and as such the director has quit the project, as well as when production of Bill Murray’s next movie has stopped as he has allegedly engaged in some troublesome behaviour.

In my mind celebrities seem to think that because of their fame and wealth that they don’t have to abide by the same norms and laws that apply to everyone else. Matthew Broderick literally killed someone and still gets to appear in movies, after only paying a small fine, how is that right or fair? I believe that it is because they are put on a pedestal that this sort of behaviour is allowed to flourish. By worshipping celebrities we are creating monsters.

An actor or celebrity with a huge ego is nothing new, they are a dime a dozen, however, this is a result of fan worship. If Vin Diesel didn’t have an army of dude bro fans who will like and share his posts and who will mindlessly flock to see whatever subpar action film he is starring in next in might make him question how he treats those around him, as both the Rock and now his director have pointed out that he is difficult.

Social media has certainly become a tool for celebrity worship and to an extent it has also been used as a means to keep celebrities in check, yet as society we need to see that this hasn’t been enough. Despite #MeToo and the grave threat of cancel culture, a little sarcasm there, celebrities are still behaving badly and escaping consequences. This is a problem I can only imagine solved by people putting their money where their mouth is and not watching these actors projects, letting them fade into obscurity, calling them out, not letting them escape problematic behaviour and encouraging others to do the same.

By giving these people fame and money we are telling them their behaviour is okay when it clearly isn’t. Something needs to change.

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iCarly: iHire A New Assistant

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Carly’s grandfather, played by Greg Mullavey, shows up for a visit and becomes Carly’s new assistant.

I think a lot of this new season of iCarly has the same issue, either a really good a story and a terrible b plot or a terrible a story and a good b plot, this episode was no different.

I disliked almost everything about the Grandad Shay character, I thought he was annoying and used to make the same lame predictable jokes you would expect from an old meets young storyline. Moreover, through this introduction Spencer, played by Jerry Trainor, becomes even worse as a character- this season really hasn’t been kind. Throughout the a story of this episode Spencer debases himself to try and get his grandfather’s love and then begrudgingly gets it at the end, this could have worked on some level, however, the ending of the episode doesn’t feel earned and instead feels written for convenience.

The saving grace of this episode comes from the Freddie, played by Nathan Kress, and Harper, played by Laci Mosley, side story wherein it seems like Freddie and Harper might be soulmates based on their birth charts. I thought this b plot was genuinely quite funny and the characters worked well within it, I thought that Freddie and Harper made for a good pairing and I would like to see more of them having their own adventures in the coming episodes.

Overall, the b plot manages to stop the episode from being bad and does provide some shielding, however, the whole Grandad Shay narrative was trite and I hope the show does not bring him back again.

Pros.

Freddie and Harper

A few good jokes

Cons.

Grandad Shay

The old man jokes were super obvious and lame

They made Spencer even worse

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The Fairly Oddparents Fairly Odder: Yikes On Multiple Levels

0.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Due to Paramount + lacking content the higher ups forced through a hybrid live action version of The Fairly OddParents, and rather unsurprisingly it crashed and burnt horribly.

On multiple levels this show is a mess, so much so that I can’t see how those making it didn’t foresee how it was going to turn out, in my mind since the ideas inception it was clear this was destined for the scrap head. I understand that Butch Hartman has become somewhat of an internet bogeyman and so needs to cling to this franchise to keep the lights on, but come on Butch you’re driving your cash cow over a cliff and to certain death.

I think the biggest issue with this show is that the hybrid approach doesn’t work, in my mind The Fairly OddParents is and always should be an animated show, the previous jumps to live action with the deviant staring films didn’t work so they really should have realised that this was not the way forward. It is not just that the hybrid approach doesn’t work, but whenever there is an animated character on screen the show seems to come apart at the seams and become a hodgepodge of issues.

Moreover, the idea to create a new lead is a bold idea, it doesn’t pay off at all and it ends up feeling like it was only done for the sake of appealing to a younger audience, whilst still being in some way tied into the older show. However, the real issue with this series is the fact that damn near every character is awful, either as a person or as an inferior carbon copy of the original series, some of the characters bare the same name as those from the original series but in no way hold a candle to them. In addition the way young characters are written in this show in terms of dialogue screams to me of a group of aging executives trying to remember buzz words they have heard from their grandkids and force them in. In reality I don’t think anyone ever talks like how they do on this show.

Pros.

Sometimes it is unintentionally funny

Cons.

The characters suck

The animation seems like it was done on the cheap

The hybrid approach doesn’t work

The decision to create a new lead has no effect and changes very little for the better

It defiles the reputation of the brand at every turn

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The Wicker Man: Nicolas Cage In Bearskin

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A film about bees, bears and Nicolas Cage.

Honestly I was disappointed by this, I went into it expecting a weird Nicolas Cage film that is so bad it is good but instead I was met with a sleepwalker affair riddled with plot holes and lacking any sense of originality.

In some respects this film wants to set itself apart from the original Wicker Man and do its own thing, however, in other cases the film is shot for shot the same as it. This goes beyond homage and just feels like a blatant attempt to copy what worked from the original.

Moreover, something that bothered me about this film was Cage’s characters disappearing gun. So the original film is set in the UK where most police officers don’t carry guns, unless they are armed response, however, in the States it is far more common for police officers to carry guns yet Cage’s character seems to forget this until the last few moments of the film. There are a number of situations in this film wherein I was like surely he will bring out his gun for this, but no. I think this was done to try and amp up the tension in the film, however, if this was the goal then it makes no sense to bring it out for the final showdown.

Furthermore, the bees bit which has featured in so many memes wasn’t actually that good and for the most part Cage’s signature blend of crazy was played down, in my mind much to the film’s detriment. I think if the filmmakers had let Cage go more off the rails the film would have been infinitely better.

Overall, a mid-tier Cage movie that is pretty forgettable

Pros.

A few laughs to be had

It does at times try and do its own thing

The ending

Cons.

The plot holes

It doesn’t go far enough

It is too derivative in places

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The Good Dinosaur: Pixar’s Darkest Day

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A young and very American dinosaur, voiced by Raymond Ochoa, goes on a journey of self-discovery after being washed down river.

I won’t go after the voice actor for the lead dinosaur, he was a kid at the time and as such it is low hanging fruit, however, it was a terrible performance. If someone else of more experience had voiced the lead dinosaur then maybe it would have been better than what we got, which was incredibly bland.

Indeed, lifeless and dull are two words that describe this film down to a tee. In the past I have said that I prefer films that are bad to ones that are boring and this is a perfect example of that. This film is so deeply by the numbers that it is neither good nor bad just incredibly forgettable.

The story of the film was likewise played out, you have seen this before it takes the concept nowhere new and has very little fun with it either. Think about the heart and soul of the Land Before Time films and imagine the same sort of idea but without any of the charm and you have this film.

Overall, certainly the worst of Pixar.

Pros.

It is watchable

Sam Elliot does a good job

Cons.

It is bland

It is generic

It doesn’t take the concept anywhere new

It lacks any kind of charm or heart

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The Unbearable Weight Of Massive Talent: The Best Nicolas Cage Film

5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Nicolas Cage is paid to attend a wealthy man’s birthday party, once there he is forced into working for the CIA.

This was one of the best films I have seen in a long time, it never stopped making me smile.

I am a big fan of Nicolas Cage so I loved every second of this film, which is basically a love letter to Cage as well as to all of his fans out there; this is what the fans always wanted to see Cage at his full blown craziest. I do think you can be a fair-weather Cage fan or even a newbie to Cage and still get some enjoyment out of this film as it is simply just a really good time anyway.

Both Pedro Pascal, who plays the man Cage is paid to spend time with, and Cage himself are both having a lot of fun and you can tell that in every frame of this film. Their friendship is not only easy to root for but also one that you hope carried over outside of the film. The two had such great chemistry that I would love to see them star in a bunch more films together.

I thought the finale with the bang bang action set pieces was a weak point of the film but I enjoyed that it self-referenced this within the meta commentary of the film the two characters were making. We like them would have preferred for the film to be a serious drama about two men bonding over a shared love of Paddington 2 but as they say in the film ‘you need something for the trailer’.

Overall, one of the most enjoyable experiences I have had an the cinema in a long time.

Pros.

Cage

Pascal

The comedy

The meta references

The love towards the filmography of Cage

Cons.

None

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The Marvel Problem: Making Movies For Little Kids

Written by Luke Barnes

In this piece I want to talk about a recurring issue/concern I am having with the MCU, though it can apply to other franchises also owned by Disney, and that is being a slave to the family friendly audience, being too afraid to have morally complex heroes or God forbid anti-heroes.

A lot of these feelings were stirred up within me by two things firstly the experience of watching Moon Knight the TV show versus reading Moon Knight in the comics, and also the recent Star Wars debacle that is The Book Of Boba Fett. In both examples the titular leads are toned down and in some areas entirely different from previous portrayals, rather than being the cold, tactical bounty hunter that we have seen in other Star Wars projects including The Mandalorian Boba is all soft and fluffy in his own show, hugging animals and having other people doing his killing. This is also seen in Moon Knight where the character is much less violent and far more incompetent, this is done to fit the tone and the comedy of the MCU.

However, the way Moon Knight has been presented on screen leaves me with a problem, if Moon Knight is not allowed to be gory or more mature then how the hell are characters like Deadpool, Punisher and Ghost Rider going to be done justice; the Ghost Rider of Agents Of Shield was an awful take on the character. Kevin Feige said that Moon Knight as a show wouldn’t pull back it would show us the finishing blow, however in practice this simply isn’t true. We have seen a bit of blood on the characters hands and have seen some people die, but most of the time this has been cut away from or outrightly ignored, which becomes a turn off after a while.

Though in almost every other way the DCEU is worse than the MCU, the one thing I will give them credit for is that they are not afraid to be more mature and adult with their content, instead of pumping out CGI trash for little kids. Think about Peacemaker earlier this year a series that did well and became beloved whilst also dealing with adult themes and violence, can you ever imagine something like that existing within the MCU? No, no it would not and that is the problem. Disney and Marvel want to have their films appeal to as many different markets and demographics as possible so why not try appealing to adults. I understand that Disney is a family company but that doesn’t mean all their content has to be made for little children. Things like the Mandalorian give me hope that maybe Disney can get away from this bloodless family friendly approach but I am not too optimistic.

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Moon Knight: The Tomb

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Moon Knight, played by Oscar Isaac rushes to find Ammit’s tomb before Harrow, played by Ethan Hawke, in an effort to save the world.

I am quickly starting to lose interest in this show. The promise of really delivering a true depiction of this character is not coming to pass at all, very much like with Boba Fett in his show, the character has been toned down too much. The Steven persona is too silly and weak, and though he is supposed to be the more human side to the character he often just gets in the way.

I think there are so many better ways this show could have gone than the Indiana Jones knockoff it has become. I think tone is a big issue for this show because even in the final moments of the episode wherein the various Moon Knight personas meet another Egyptian God it is not treated with any pomp or seriousness but is instead served up as yet another joke, which hurts the show.

Another thing that is starting to irritate me is the constant baiting of the third persona Jake Lockley, the first tease was exciting, the second was okay we are almost there and then the third was like really are we still doing this. Bear in mind the character has been teased far more than 3 times on the show thus far.

The only redeemable aspects of this episode was the killing of the lead that felt gutsy, even if it did lead to the incredibly predictable mental institution sequence, and the continued greatness of Ethan Hawke and May Calamawy.

Overall, episode 5 needs to be pretty stellar to win me back, I’m fading off fast.

Pros.

Hawke

Calamawy

Cons.

The constant teasing of the third persona

The obvious mental institution twist

Steven’s weakness is starting to become annoying

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iCarly: i’M Wild And Crazy

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Carly, played by Miranda Cosgrove, realises she is the boring one of the friend group and so asks Harper, played by Laci Mosley, to take her on a wild night out.

This was a nice episode for the most part. I enjoyed seeing more of Harper and Carly’s friendship on screen and have them both get some much needed character development. I thought it was nice to see the series reference back to Harper’s breakup and her processing period rather than just move immediately past it and act like it never happened. I thought both Cosgrove and Mosley were on top form here as well.

However, the b-plot about Freddie, played by Nathan Kress, and Spencer, played by Jerry Trainor, coming to blows over there business partnership was not only dull but it also brought out the worst in Spencer as a character. I have written before in other reviews about how I dislike that the show treats Spencer as a constant get out of jail free card, with his undetermined wealth allowing him to do practically anything, it feels like lazy writing and it is on perfect display in this episode. The conflict between Spencer and Freddie comes about as Spencer buys them an old smoothie bar as an office location for their business and then slowly loses interest in their start-up and instead wants to restore the old smoothie bar. Within this conflict not only do we get yet another lazy set up paid for by Spencer’s magical wealth, but also Spencer being his most childish and ridiculous. These last few episodes have really gone out of their way to show that as an adult Spencer is a failure, he can barely function in the adult world and just throws money at things to make them go away, and though I never thought he was the most efficient character ever, I did think he was more competent than this. It is sad to see the character reduced so much.

Overall, a better episode than the last but the show needs to decide what it want to do with Spencer as a character.

Pros.

Carly and Harper’s friendship explored in more depth

Cosgrove

Mosley

The references to Harper’s break-up and the character growth

Cons.

Spencer is being reduced to a poor cliché

The b-plot serves no purpose

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X: Pornstars Versus The American South

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Ti West’s latest offering, of questionable taste, is porn stars verse an old couple with I guess super powers?

Obviously I am having somewhat of a laugh by suggesting that the old couple has super powers, but the film does seem to suggest that. Not only do they teleport around, the old lady, played by Mia Goth, seems to be everywhere at the same time, but they also perform kills on people half their age who are much more physically fit than them that can only be explained away by them possessing super strength, and pitch perfect accuracy.

On a more serious note a lot of people have lorded this film as a loving homage to exploitation horror flicks of the past, with Texas Chainsaw Massacre being an often made comparison. However, I think this film wishes it could be like those films rather than it actually being like them or is in anyway a homage. To me at least, it was a deeply generic slasher film that has been done a hundred times before and also much better than this, if that is what homage means then I have had the wrong definition all these years.

I will give the film prompts for its odd cult like religious elements they were by far the most interesting part of the film, but were explored nowhere near enough- hopefully the prequel can readdress them in more detail.

West tries to push the boundaries by including quite graphic sex scenes, but this just comes off as desperate and gimmicky. Bear in mind in a world cinema context these scenes are nothing and are practically puritanical, however within the deeply conservative world of Hollywood sex scenes these are challenging, and will leave you feeling more than a little awkward if you watch them in company.

Overall, a passable slasher film, but in no way deserving of the praise it has gotten.

Pros.

It is watchable

The gore is strong

I liked the religious cult like elements

Cons.

The sex scenes feel desperate

It is very generic

It has significant pacing issues

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