Horse Girl: One Of Netflix’s Worst

Horse Girl is a drama film directed by Jeff Baena. The plot follows Sarah (Alison Brie), a woman whose normal life starts to unravel, and she becomes more and more unhinged; the later parts of the film get into things like alien abduction, cloning and mental health, with a lot of the film being up to your interoperation of events.

When I sat down to watch this on Netflix the description for it made it sound like a horror film, that is what I was expecting and my oh my it is not that. Well it isn’t in a literally sense, but it does show the horrors of mental health and how someone can easily slip into a manic episode and that is a pretty terrifying thing to think about.

That said thinking about this film is more fun than actually watching it. Large sequences of this film are dull and drawn out, most likely in an effort to make you care about the main character which you never actually end up doing. What makes this worse is that a lot of the film’s abstract elements, come across at best as confusing and at worst as a deluded sense of self; as this film seems to think it is far deeper than it actually is. This is an art film in very much the worst way.

Alison Brie gives a good performance, especially with what she has to work with, she makes Sarah both a vulnerable and frightening character at the same time and easily carries a lot of the film’s dramatic scenes. However, everyone else in the film with no exceptions are the most unlikable group of human beings ever assembled. By that I mean none of the characters have any warmth or likeability, maybe that was a conscious choice who knows; Debby Ryan’s character perfectly captures my point.

It is films like this that have given Netflix the reputation that they will make anything, Horse Girl adds yet another weird unpleasant title to Netflix’s already growing stable of bad films. Though I think this film has some good elements and Alison Brie is okay overall it is tripped up by its huge ego, that is clear in near every scene, as this film isn’t deep it’s pretentious.

That is an hour forty-five minutes of my life I am not going to get back.

Pros.

It is neat to think about.

Alison Brie is okay.

Cons.

It is the worst type of Art film.

It’s not deep it just thinks it is.

It’s dull.

You end up hating most, if not all, of the characters.

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

Narcos Mexico Season 1: A New Era Of Narcos

Narcos Mexico Season 1 is a crime drama series and spin-off to the Netflix series Narcos. The new series as the name would suggest shifts the focus of the program from the cocaine fields of Columbia to the weed fields of Mexico, though some familiar faces do make a return. The series chronicles the rise of the Guadalajara Cartel and Felix Gallardo’s (Diego Luna), kidnapping of American DEA Agent Kiki Camarena (Michael Pena).

To briefly describe this series, it is more of the same, if you liked Narcos and enjoyed seeing the DEA slowly busting drug dealers over a period of years than you will enjoy this. As usually there are some cheer worthy monuments (in this season it is the burning of the weed fields), some sad moments (Kiki’s death), and a hell of a lot of frustration as the corrupt system gets in the way of these agents doing their job.

As someone who loved all of that in previous seasons, I fully enjoyed Narcos Mexico Season 1, I found it to be both captivating and thrilling and it proves the creative team behind the show still has it.

Michael Pena plays against type here, he has done some dramatic work before (End Of Watch, Fury), but he is mainly known for his more comedic work. He played Kiki as a man on a mission, much like characters of past seasons his whole life revolved around bringing the drug lord to justice. My one issue is that the character could be annoying at times and do reckless and dangerous things without thinking about his family, who had moved down to Mexico with him.

I thought Luna’s Gallardo was a villain on the same level of Pablo Escobar (Wagner Moura), this is exactly what the series needed and was the issue the final series of Narcos was disappointing: because the villains were lacking. My one issue on this side of things was that I would have preferred to see Gallardo’s rise and fall within one series as opposed to two, it just feels more dragged out. A lot of episodes have plot points that go nowhere and feel put into pad out the 50+ minute runtime.

Overall, Narcos Mexico Season 1 is good, the characters are working and that is what made the first two series of Narcos feel so special, I still have a few issues with it, such as I feel like it didn’t need to be spread over two seasons and that I found Kiki’s character annoying at times. Ps. Don’t even get me started on Raffa or more adeptly the worst character ever written.

Pros.

Back to basics in a good way.

Interesting new villain.

It feels fresh again.

Cons.

It is too dragged out.

Some of the characters are annoying.

3/5

Reviewed by Luke

The King Of Comedy: King For A Night

The King Of Comedy is a satirical black comedy film directed by Martin Scorsese. The plot follows Rupert Pupkin (Robert DeNiro), a man who is by all means a failure in his life, but dreams of being a big-time late-night host. When it looks like Rupert is going to get that chance, only for it to be taken away from him, he decides to take drastic action and kidnap a late-night host to try and blackmail people into giving him is big break.

*I had never watched this film before, but as I was watching it I couldn’t help but think of Joker the plots of these two films are very similar, the director of Joker supposedly said it was a homage to The King Of Comedy, but it feels more than that to me. Watching this made me like Joker less.

I believe this film deserves more praise than it gets, is it Scorsese’s best? No, it isn’t. Is it in his top 5? Again no, but I still think this is an above average good film.

One of the things I liked most about it was how the world Rupert saw and the actual world around him seemed to be constantly at odds. The TV producers would entirely ignore him and not give him the time of day, but in his head Rupert see them inviting him to their house as an old friend. What’s more I like how Rupert is slowly shown to be more and more crazy over the course of the film, this is handled in a subtle way which I appreciated.

DeNiro gives a good performance, as he always did before 2010, he plays Rupert will a sort of tragic presence that can’t help but make us emote with the character despite him being a bad person on multiple levels. He also imbues Rupert with a quiet sense of dread, he makes him into a ticking time bomb, as you are fully aware, he could slip into fully manic insanity at any minute.

The comedy in this film, as this is after all a comedy film even if it doesn’t feel like one a lot of the time, is well done especially Rupert’s set when he actually gets to go up on stage and deliver it. There are a good number of chuckles peppered in here and there.

My two main issues with this film are the fact that it goes on for two long and that other than Rupert I didn’t care about a single other character on screen; though maybe that was intentional. I believe these two issues go hand in hand, as the film devotes time to some of these supporting characters you just don’t care about; they feel like an unwanted distraction away from the A Plot.

Overall a very solid picture, and not one I can hugely fault. I think it could be edited down to a more bearable length, one in which my mind won’t wonder as a result of boredom and the long runtime, but other than that this is another interesting DeNiro Scorsese project.

Pros.

Interesting story.

DeNiro.

Good dark comedy.

Cons.

Pacing issues.

Boring side characters.

3/5

Reviewed by Luke

Dragged Across Concrete: A Pulp Fiction Novel Done In 159 Minutes

Dragged Across Concrete is a Neo-noir action thriller film, directed by S. Craig Zahler. The plot revolves around two cops, Brett (Mel Gibson), and Anthony (Vince Vaughn), who are suspended after an excessive force incident. However, for various reasons both men need to make money, so they decide to rob a group of criminals that have robbed a bank.

Craig Zahler is a very strange filmmaker to talk about as his films have a very specific style to them, if you have ever seen any of them you will know what I am talking about, said style can be incredibly polarising. I enjoyed his debut effort Bone Tomahawk but thought that his follow-up Brawl In Cell Block 99 went a little too far for my tastes and veered into vile and uncomfortable viewing. This film, however, seems to hit a sweet spot, it has moments of extreme violence, but these aren’t excessive rather instead well used.

One of my favourite bits from this film is one of those violent moments. Jenifer Carpenter plays Kelly a recent mother who is having separation anxiety as she has to be away from her baby and go back to work, can I just say here that even though her role is under 10 minutes I think this is one of the best performances of Carpenter’s career, once she is back at work she gets caught up in the bank robbery and killed. What makes this worth talking about is the fact that this is incredibly shocking as she is a recognisable actress, and had a big part in Cell Block 99, we don’t expect her to die so suddenly yet she does. This moment actually made me gasp out loud, I am being serious.

The antagonist of the film is also terrific from the moment we are introduced to Lorentz Vogelmann (Thomas Kretschmann), he is menacing. Furthermore, the choice to have him be in a mask for most of the film really adds to the sense of terror. He is the first ‘bad guy’ in a long time that has actually captured my interest.

Gibson and Vaughn are both solid leads and have a good repour, you can easily buy that these two men have been partners for some time. Moreover, the character motivations for the two are well written as well, Vaughn’s Anthony wants to propose to his girlfriend, he dies as he listens to a voicemail of her rejecting him this perfectly captures that gritty sense of reality that this film is going for. Brett, on the other hand, wants to provide a better life for his family, which in a sense he does, and this provides the film it’s happy ending.

Overall, this film feels as though S. Craig Zahler has brought a pulpy crime novel to the big screen in the best way. Usually, these sorts of films, especially with a run-time as long as this (159 minutes) start to lose my attention, but this one kept me hooked right the way through to the end. A modern masterpiece in noir cinema. A Must Watch!

Pros.

It Is Genuinely Shocking.

It Is Everything A Pulpy Crime Film Should Be.

It Is Gorey But Doesn’t Over Do It.

Great Leads.

A Career Best For Jennifer Carpenter.

Cons.

None.

5/5

Reviewed By Luke

Parasite: A Chain Of Trust Must Never Be Broken

Parasite is a South Korean dark comedy thriller film directed by Bong Joon-Ho. The film revolves around a poor family (The Kim Family), that one by one infiltrate the services of a rich family (The Park Family), to live the high life as well as to benefit financially. The Kim family uses fake documents to pose as well-trained professionals as well as a series of underhanded tactics, which grow in seriousness across the film.

This film is a dark comedy done right. The tone perfectly straddles the line between comedy and tragedy as all good dark comedies should do. There were moments of hilarity such as when Park Dong-ik (Lee Sun-kyun) and Yeon-gyo (Cho Yeo-jeong) are engaging in some sexy role play, which to them involves them being poor and dealing drugs, all the while the actual poor members of the Kim family are all hidden under the table. This scene amused me, but also made me think, it furthers the theme of a class divide which is pivotal to this film. It paints the Kim family and the Park family as drastic opposites, almost different species.

The idea of this class divide is best shown in one of the film’s final scenes when Kim Ke-jeong (Park So-dam), gets stabbed by the crazy guy from the basement, more on that later, and no one seems to care. She has been a good friend to the Park family, or at least she appeared that way, but when the time came they didn’t give her a second thought; yes an argument could be made that they were preoccupied with saving their own son, but they could have still done something.

There are parts of this film where it veers into strange and crazy ideas, these are the best bits. As the film escalates it gets more and more manic, the world becomes unstable, with some films especially films that are supposed to be realistic like this one, venturing into this kind of territory can be disastrous, but in Parasites case it works really well; it thrives in the chaos.

Overall, this is a very entertaining film it had great moments of tension and comedy and it even managed to make me think. The ending even had a tear in my eye. A beautiful film.

Pros.

A Perfect Dark Comedy.

Great Performances.

A Superb Ending.

Embracing The Crazy.

Cons.

Maybe A Little Too Long.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Velvet Buzzsaw: An Exercise In Pretension

‘Velvet Buzzsaw’ is a satirical supernatural horror film written and directed by Dan Gilroy. The plot of the film revolves around a collection of painting that is both captivating and deadly; there is something alive within the paintings that either kills people or makes them kill themselves. The film also serves to lambast and spoof the art world.

Before I get into this review, I want to say that ‘Nightcrawler’ Gilroy’s other work with Jake Gyllenhaal is a masterpiece, being able to really show off its dark sensibilities and mustering a fantastic performance from Gyllenhaal. There is something about ‘Nightcrawler’ that makes it alarming every time you see it, even though by that point you know how it ends.

The same can’t be said for ‘Velvet Buzzsaw’. My main issue with this film is how up its own arse it is, it seems to think it is the best film that you will see all year; which it isn’t. The satirical elements of the film fail so much so, that I wasn’t even aware it was supposed to be that way until I sat down to research this review. The only thing that might clue you into the fact that this is supposed to be satirical is the fact that all the characters are deeply unlikeable; though I thought that was just bad writing.

Rene Russo and Gyllenhaal try their best and give good performances, which serve as a saving grace for this film, but only barely. The rest of the cast are terrible, Toni Collette’s performance has zero energy and feels like she is trying to give a bad performance for whatever reason. Zawe Ashton has one facial expression for the whole film and to call her wooden would be generous and ‘Stranger Things’ own Natalia Dyer feels like she is only in the film on Netflix’s behest to try and get more people to be like, “oh she was in Stranger Things I should probably rewatch that”.

The horror concepts of this film are interesting and there are a few good scares peppered throughout. However, they just aren’t enough, this film is 20 per cent inspired horror and then 80 per cent lost up its own arse as to how good it is; which is a terrible shame as I was excited to watch a film from the writer-director behind Nightcrawler and his strange, but always excellent muse Jake Gyllenhaal.

Overall this is an exercise in pretension that falls flat whilst also being incredibly hollow.

Pros.

Jake Gyllenhaal Is Always Fantastic.

Some Good Horror Moments.

An Interesting Concept.

Cons.

The Terrible Cast.

The Smug Sense Of Self This Film Has.

2.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Eden Lake: Broken, Boring and Blatant

‘Eden Lake’ is a British horror film written and directed by James Watkins. The plot sees a couple going on holiday to a quarry, in some unnamed part of England, whilst there they are stalked by a group of young people, who want to torture and eventually kill them.

I find this film offensively bad. My main issue with it, and if you don’t like politics sorry skip to the next paragraph, is that it demonises the working class in Britain. ‘Eden Lake’ was one of those films that explored the idea of ‘Broken Britain’ much like it’s contemporary ‘Harry Brown’. The issue with these sorts of films is that it often portrays the narrative often from a very middle-class viewpoint, this film especially. We are supposed to be scared of the dangerous ‘chav’ kids, rather than think of the sort of life they have had that has led them to this point. This whole narrative to me feels cheap and exploitative. Furthermore, it perpetuates this false idea that if people of means leave a big city or their home, they will be immediately forced into danger.

Not only that, but the writing feels like a collection of horror clichés with the protagonists Steve (Michael Fassbender), and Jenny (Kelly Reilly), being written to be the dumbest possible characters. You know when you watch a horror film and you are saying to yourself, “Switch The Lights on” or “Don’t Go Up There”, but they do it anyway, as they seem programmed to do the dumbest possible people and they do things that nobody would do in that situation: well that’s how the characters are here. I like horror films like ‘You’re Next’ where the characters are actually written with some intelligence, rather than deliberately doing stupid things that put them in danger and then just sitting around to face the consequences. Yes, I know a lot of the time characters are written like this to advance the plot or to set certain scenes up, but once again it feels very lazy.

Overall for a cheap low budget British horror film, it could have been a lot worse, but even still it doesn’t excuse the weak class baiting sort of writing and the paper-thin characters. I am glad that Fassbender and Reilly went on to bigger and better things and this film can be thrown in the bin of history and left to be forgotten.

Pros.

It’s Not The Worst Film I Have Ever Seen.

Cons.

It Feels Cheap.

It’s Manipulatively Written.

It Doesn’t Belong In Modern Times & It Has A Bad Message.

The Characters Aren’t Even Paper Thin, They’re Somehow Lesser Than That.

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

Creep 2: Netflix, Give Mark Duplass All Your Money Please

‘Creep 2’ is a found footage psychological horror film directed by Patrick Brice. The plot this time sees online personality Sara (Desiree Akhavan), answer serial killer Josef (Mark Duplass), here called Aaron’s online ad, to film him for the day. He has lost his drive as a serial killer and is stuck in a rout: as such he wants Sara to make a documentary about him to try and relight the spark, he once had for killing.

This film does something very few other films can do, it manages to one-up its fantastic predecessor. ‘Creep 2’ plays up the more comedic elements of the film this time around and it makes for a hilarious experience that also has some great chilling moments: managing to not only do justice to these two elements but do them fantastically well.

Duplass is terrific once again, proving that comedians do horror really well, he manages to make this evil serial killer likeable and to an extent sympathetic. It turns out midway through the film that Aaron plans to kill himself at the end of the day and have Sara carry on his work, this is genuinely shocking and you don’t see it coming. The relationship between the two is simply fantastic it has shades of mentor-mentee, but also shades of a serial killer couple. The ending of the film is highly suggestive that there will be more for these two in the future.

From a dark comedy perspective, this film is a masterclass it compares being a serial killer to being a director who is on a downward spiral and to me that is incredibly funny. The humour works really well and meshes with the tone perfectly, both Akhavan and Duplass have moments of comic genius.

Akhavan is amazing, she has a fantastic repour with Duplass and the two do great things, I would like to see her come back in the future and maybe become a serial killer herself. She meets Duplass’s crazy and raises it.

Overall this film is a triumph and manages to one up a magnificent first entry, the relationship between Sara and Aaron is great and something I want to see explored more in a third film. If you like ‘What We Do In The Shadows’ you will like this, I guarantee it. By playing up the more comedic aspects ‘Creep 2’ is elevated to a whole new level.

Pros.

Akhavan Is Amazing.

So Is Duplass.

Serial Killer Couple?

The Ending.

Cons.

I Want More.

4.5/5

Reviewed By Luke

Bird Box: You Have To Be Blind To Enjoy This

‘Bird Box’ is a post-apocalyptic thriller film directed by Susanne Bier. The plot follows Malorie (Sandra Bullock), as she tires, to protect her children from strange supernatural entities that have taken over the world, said creatures drive people to madness if they see them. The film is based on the novel of the same name by Josh Malerman.

I remember when this film came out a lot of people were talking about it and it had more than a few moments in the sun. However, upon seeing it now I really don’t see what is so impressive about it, I know the novel came out years ago, but a lot of the film’s elements had been done before and better in other films like ‘A Quiet Place’ and ‘Children Of Men’. These elements are things like creatures that prey on a certain sense in this case sight as well as a family having to survive in this new world.

There is nothing new about this film at all. It is a collection of end of the world clichés and character stereotypes. Not only that, but the film puts a lot of it’s focus on the humans that have not been driven to suicide by the creatures: because they were already mad, they take up the role of the antagonists in the film and the creatures themselves almost become a secondary villain. I think this is an annoying trend that a lot of these type of films do and is also a huge missed opportunity. There are hundreds of films about humans doing horrific things to each other most of them better than this, so why does this film not choose to focus on the one thing that makes it unique it’s monsters.

What’s more, the human characters are boring, really really boring. They are really hard to care about as they just seem like a collection of characters that you have seen before, this film even wastes John Malkovich. The one character that is interesting and feels like you want to get to know her is Sarah Paulson’s Jessica, but she is killed off within the first 10 minutes of the film.

Overall this is an incredibly generic film and in this the year 2020 that just isn’t passable anymore, as we have so much choice that things like this should fail to send a message that we want better, we want characters that actually feel like characters, we want a story that hasn’t been done so many times before, and we want to see the monsters in a form other than wind!

Pros.

Sarah Paulson For The 10 Minutes We Get Her.

Cons.

It’s Been Done Better Before.

It’s Generic.

The Story Is Boring.

We Don’t See The Monsters We Are Just Told About Them.

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Nightingale: The Heart Of Darkness

‘The Nightingale’ is a period drama film directed by Jennifer Kent, her second film after the critically acclaimed ‘The Babadook’. The plot of the film revolves around Irish convict Clare (Aisling Franciosi), who suffers a horrific tragedy that result in her losing everything, the events that follow show her as she treks across the Tasmania bush in search of the men that wronged her; So she can enact a brutal act of retribution upon them.

Before I get into this review, I just want to say this is a grueling film to watch, deeply uncomfortable and unpleasant at times, but that seems to be by design. There are disturbing acts of violence and sexual violence depicted in this film that set up Claire’s character motivation and show the horrific place that the Tasmanian Bush was at this point in time.

If that doesn’t put you off there is a lot to appreciate about this film. Firstly, is the attention to detail payed in the setting and how the events of the story play out, the 1825 Van Diemen’s Land that Kent brings to life is unlike anything I had previously seen. The world this film presents is harsh and incredibly unforgiving and it makes you aware of horrors of history that you might not have been aware of.

The performances are excellent as well. Franciosi is a marvel to behold the emotions that her character conveys are both striking and affecting. She is entirely believable as a woman who has lost everything and is now a ghost of the person she was before, driven only by revenge. Furthermore, the gradual friendship she forms with Aboriginal tracker Billy (Baykail Ganambarr), she sweet and brings a bit of levity to an otherwise deeply oppressive, depressing film.

Ganambarr is excellent especially when you consider that this is this first feature film performance. His character of Billy not only brings some humour to the film, but also provides a door into the Aboriginal world which we don’t often see represented in cinema. Billy does at times outshine Claire, but both are fantastic.

Sam Claflin is also in this film he plays the sadistic antagonist Hawkins. Claflin is quickly making a name for himself as a skilled actor especially for playing villains, he plays a loathsome bastard better than anyone else. He completely loses himself in the role and delivers yet another magnificent performance.

Overall, this film can be hard to watch at times, you will feel the urge to turn it off, but if you can stick with it there is something special here. ‘The Nightingale’ is far more of a nuanced take on the Rape-Revenge subgenre and has a lot to say and has some great performances to back it up.

Pros.

Powerful.

Excellent Performances.

A Great Follow Up.

Bringing Attention To Issues.

Cons.

Very Very Very Hard To Watch At Times.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke