Black Water, Abyss: Rooting For The Crocodiles

Black Water, Abyss is an Australian thriller film directed by Andrew Traucki. The plot sees a group of adventure seekers/ divers become trapped in a uncharted underground cave filled with vicious crocodiles.

Why do I keep coming back to the shark attack, crocodile attack, creature feature sub-genre? There is nothing left of interest in this sub-genre at all. Sometimes these sort of films can be good for a bit of low engagement, mindless viewing, but I found that was too much of an ask for this film.

Though this film is on for under 2 hours it feels much, much longer. I don’t know how you can make man vs crocodile boring, but this film finds a way. Honestly by the midpoint of the film I was completely checked out and bored; if I was not reviewing the film I would have turned it off.

The characters are exactly what you would expect, if you have seen any film like this before. It is the same collection of cliches and stereotypes that leave absolutely no impression on you at all, even as they are eaten by the crocodile.

The kills themselves are fine, probably the highlight of the film, but even then they are just average.

Overall, give this one a hard pass unless you need something to both infuriate you and send you to sleep.

Pros.

The kills are okay

Cons.

The characters are generic

The kills have no real impact as you don’t care about the characters

It is not scary or thrilling

It is tedious and hard to get through

0.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Archenemy: Never Doubt A Story Told To You By A Homeless Man Punching A Wall

Archenemy is a superhero mystery thriller film directed by Adam Egypt Mortimer. The plot follows Max Fist (Joe Manganiello), a superpowered being from another plane of reality who is thrust into our world after an attempt to save his world. Once waking up in out world Max realises he can’t get back, he also realises that no one believes him about who he is, apart from a young budding journalist called Hamster (Skylan Brooks).

I loved this film far, far more than I thought I was going to. I am a big fan of Manganiello already, but he was perfect here unlike some of his other roles he did not just play the brawn here, yes that is a part of his character, but he so much more complex with that. Until the end of the film you are never quite sure whether Max is who he claims to be or whether he is mentally ill, the emotional delivery of his performance goes from charming and gruffly likeable, to cold and chilling and back again Manganiello really delivers on the range.

Moreover, Glenn Howerton of Always Sunny fame is also in this film as a sub antagonist and he too is really strong. I have only really seen Howerton in comedic roles for the most part, but this showed me that he can do drama too.

I also liked the aesthetic of the film as well, I thought the transitions between comic book, animated flashbacks and live action was beautifully done and implemented well throughout.

My one complaint of the film would be that Hamster and his sister are dull, they really are. Whenever they are on-screen you immediately want to get back to Manganiello, which is a shame for them as they are trying their best, but they are outacted here for sure.

Overall, one of the best and most surprising films I have seen this year, definitely check it out.

Pros.

Manganiello

Howerton

The blending of animation and live action

The story and the ending

Cons.

The siblings were a weak link

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Fatman: Santa Claus Will Put A Bullet Right Between Your Eyes, Go On, Test Him

Fatman is a Christmas based action film directed by Eshom Nelms and Ian Nelms. The plot sees a budding young sociopath put a hit out on Santa Clause (Mel Gibson), after he receives a deserved lump of coal for Christmas. What follows is a battle to the death between not so jolly Old Saint Nick and hitman Johnathan Miller (Walton Goggins), who has his own axe to grind against ‘the fatman’.

Though I don’t like Mel Gibson, because he is a vile human being, I managed to separate my personal feelings from this film and ended up really enjoying it. I like the inherent silliness in the concept, a hit man trying to kill Santa Claus, I think the film deals with its absurdity well and plays it up to great effect.

The action scenes where nicely done as well and I enjoyed the final fight as well, the ending was unexpected, I thought that the fight was clearly going to end one way, it did not. I always enjoy it when a film deviates from where I think it is going especially so if they do it in a clever way. I thought the final scene, when Santa pays a visit to the kid that put a hit on him was the best scene of the entire film, not only was it incredibly tense, but it knew how to play off Gibson as an actor; the role really does feel tailor made for him.

Overall, though reviews have been mixed on this one, I personally really enjoyed it. I thought it was silly and fun but also a really well thought out action film that capitalised on its star.

Pros.

The role was tailor made for Gibson

The tone is just right

The action

The premise

Cons.

The elf cgi is not good

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Burnt Orange Heresy: If You See A Fly On A Picture Of You Throw It Away

The Burnt Orange Heresy is a crime thriller film directed by Giuseppe Capotondi. The plot follows art critic James (Claes Bang), who is tasked by an elusive art deal (Mick Jagger), with acquiring a rare painting by a once great artist (Donald Sutherland).

I was enjoying this film for a time. I think the first act where you aren’t quite sure what is going on and what James and Berenice’s (Elizabeth Debicki) motivation are is well done. The film doesn’t let you in on the mystery right away and allows you to speculate, teasing you with the prospect of something more sinister.

Then as the film continues on it becomes more and more farfetched. As we descend into a tiresome, driven by greed to murder plotline I was left saddened by what the film had left behind, namely all its subtly and personality.

The ending for me felt like a damp squid, yes it left a few things unresolved to keep you thinking, but for the most part it is far to clear cut where more abstract was needed. If this film had been more like what the Neon Demon was for the fashion world, then it would have been perfect; a cerebral experience, but no it ends as a bog-standard crime thriller.

Overall, this film left me with the question that maybe the art world just doesn’t translate well to film, as this and The Velvet Buzzsaw just feel lacking and have to resort to more and more absurd notions to try and keep interest which ruins the film as a whole.

Pros.

The cast are great

The first act has a lot of promise

I enjoyed some of the imagery and themes

Cons.

The ending lets it down

There is something lacking that I can’t quite but my finger on

2/5

Reviewed by Luke

Girl: Never Get Between A Girl And Her Hatchet, Good Advise For Life

Girl is a thriller film directed by Chad Faust. The plot sees a girl (Bella Throne), return home to find and kill her abusive father, however, once she returns home she finds him already dead and is filled with mixed emotions. Shortly there after she decides to investigate who killed him.

So, I have been on some what of a Bella Throne binge this week, I also have a review of Chick Fight coming up. I went from knowing next to nothing about her, to being intrigued by her talent for conveying real, raw emotion so well as this film shows. It is safe to say I am a convert now.

Throne owns this film, and anchors it well. Her character is conflicted, and we can see that in Throne’s performance we can see that unknowing, that need for answers. Throne is also boosted by a strong supporting from Mickey Rourke, who plays the town sheriff serving as the antagonist for the film. Rourke is genuinely quiet menacing here and plays the villain with some form of twisted glee; this makes for a number of strong scenes between him and Throne.

There are some twists and turns in the plot in the later stage, that are strangely just blurted out in the early part of the film, but hey maybe the film thinks that you and I didn’t notice that. Regardless, when the twist does come it is delivered and executed with proper emotional weight and you do feel something, the final fifteen minutes is when this film is at its prime.

Overall, one I think a lot of people will overlook, but you need to check this one out it is a very good, very well acted, intriguing thriller.

Pros.

Throne

Rourke

The twist

The tension and the maliciousness of Rourke’s performance

Cons.

Blurting out the reveal half an hour into the film

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Run: Sarah Paulson Plays Sarah Paulson Yet Again

Run is a thriller film directed by Aneesh Chaganty. The plot follows Chloe (Kiera Allen), a young girl who has been sheltered and kept in doors for most of her life. However, one day she starts to notice odd changes in her mum’s (Sarah Paulson) behaviour so decides to investigate and what she finds is far more sinister then she could ever have imagined.

This is a lame duck, this is dull, uninspired, and has been done better before. The twist serves to demonise women who go through a particularly traumatic event, I won’t spoil it here, and then once the twist is out there this just becomes like any number of other movies. Though, I won’t say what the twist is I will say that it is blindingly obvious from the start of the film, and yes, it does play out exactly how you would expect it to.

Furthermore, I am deeply unimpressed with Paulson’s performance here. It is fine but nothing out of the ordinary for her. I have come to realise that with Paulson it is the same performance in every role, this is no exception. She has as much range as a park bench and is a poor choice for a leading role.

The film also has pacing issues it makes the 90-minute runtime feel like double or even triple that and you are lured away by your phone because nothing on the screen can keep your attention.

Overall, deeply uninspired.

Pros.

Allen

A few well executed scenes

Cons.

Pacing issues make it a bore

Paulson is not a good lead

You have seen this film before

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

Headhunters: Never Let Anyone Touch Your Hair

Headhunters is a Norwegian action thriller film directed by Morten Tyldum. The plot follows art thief Roger (Aksel Hennie), as he unknowingly targets the wrong mark and finds himself being hunted down by a tracking expert. The film serves as an adaptation of the Jo Nesbo novel of the same name.

This was a very stylish action thriller; glossy would be the word I would use to describe it. I enjoyed the unfolding mystery and how nothing was as simple as it first seemed, the premise that I listed above is a vast simplification. Said mystery makes for a very tense viewing experience, where you never quite know what is going to happen.

Nikolaj Coster- Waldu plays the films antagonist Claus, the man who hunts Roger down mercilessly over the course of the film and he is truly menacing. Not menacing in the sense of him being over the top and scary but, menacing in the sense of him being relentless and basically just an unstoppable corporate killing machine.

I enjoyed the ending immensely; it was nice to see Roger finally best Claus and it was done in a clever way that I found enhanced the whole experience. The final fight did not just boil down to a brawl it was far more intelligent than that.

Overall, a smart crime film that kept you on the edge of your seat as you never knew how far away Claus was from finishing the job.

Pros.

Hennie

Coster-Waldu

The mystery and the overall sense of tension

The ending

Cons.

There is only so many times you can see someone narrowly avoid being killed before it becomes unrealistic.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

King Of New York: Live By The Sword Die By The Sword

King Of New York is a neo-noir crime thriller film directed by Abel Ferrara. The plot sees infamous mob figure Frank White (Christopher Walken), released from prison and then set about taking his city back only to become targeted by a band of corrupt police officers.

For those of you who like gangster films, this is a work of art. It is very much in line with something like Cronenberg’s Eastern Promise as this is more of a thinky gangster film rather than just a senseless shoot em up, though there are plenty of those sort of scenes.

The inner dialogue that begs the question are men like White inevitable? Are they representative of the city, a by product in some sort of way? These questions prove fascinating as we break down Frank as a person and see how it is that he is the King of New York’s underworld.

The violence in the film feels bold and punchy, it strikes you as real and visceral and leaves a mark. In this regard Lawrence Fishburne’s Jimmy steals the show. Jimmy is unhinged throughout the film, but his night time fight with corrupt police might be his best and most unhinged moment. I think this is a career best performance for Fishburne and it makes me want to explore more of his back catalogue.

Overall, a very grisly and effecting crime tail and leaves you shocked and horrified but also with a few pertinent questions in mind.

Pros.

Walken

Fishburne

The violence

The psychology

The noir like feel of the film

Cons.

None

5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Headshot: Who Are You Again?

Headshot is an Indonesian action thriller film directed by Kimo Stamboel and Timo Tjahjanto. The plot sees an unknown man (Iko Uwais), awaken in a hospital bed, he does not remember who he is or how he came to be in sad bed. However, once he leaves the hospital he is hunted down by one of the most ruthless bosses in the underworld Lee (Sunny Pang) and has to fight for his survival.

So, after seeing Uwais in several other action films I was expecting big things here, and I have to say I was disappointed. My main issue with the film was the action and the fights, they felt toned back and lacked the same excitement as I can come to know from the Indonesian action subgenre. The fights here not only felt underwhelming, they felt like they were done on the cheap.

Moreover, the story was uninspired we have seen the amnesiac waking up to trouble storyline play out over and over again and this film can’t be bothered to do anything new with it. The midway through twist, which I won’t spoil, is insanely predictable and worst of all you just don’t care after it is revealed.

There are a few cool moments, such as the prison escape scene at the start of the film, that is really all the good I can say about this film. These scenes are incredibly few and far between and the film as a whole feels stretched out for far too long, to a point where you are looking at your phone because you can’t take the tedium anymore.

Overall, a subpar Indonesian action flick, I expected more.

Pros.

A few cool moments

Cons.

A played-out storyline

Uninspired fights

Characters you don’t care about

Pacing issues in the extreme

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

Honest Thief: Jai Courtney Always Popping Up When You Least Expect Him, And Certainly Don’t Want Him

Honest Thief is an action thriller film directed by Mark Williams. The plot sees successful bank robber Tom (Liam Neeson) try and confess to his crimes after meeting a woman, who he falls in love with, he hopes that by confessing they can have a life together. However dirty cops frame him for the murder of a fellow agent, and he must prove his innocence.

So, this is about what you would expect, it is your standard Liam Neeson schlock, he uses his skills to defeat the baddies prove that he is a good guy and that’s that. There, that’s the plot summed up in a line. However, for me I am not watching these films for their plot I am watching these films to watch Liam Neeson in ever more preposterous situations, and hey I was not disappointed here.

Ultimately, the film is quite generic. It is nothing you haven’t seen before, there are some tense moments that give the film so watchability, but really the only thing that keeps you invested is Neeson, if he wasn’t in it this film would be trash.

Jai Courtney is in this film, yes he hasn’t just faded into obscurity as you and I had believed far from it he is the villain of the piece. In this film he reminds us all why he is rarely cast, though it is fun to watch him be terrorised by Neeson.

Overall, your enjoyment of this film will come down to how much you like Liam Neeson and his schlocky action films.

Pros.

Liam Neeson

How over the top it is

It is almost funny at times, obviously unintentionally

Cons.

Jai Courtney

It is generic

The action leaves quite a lot to be desired

2/5

Reviewed by Luke