Child’s Play: Don’t Get Your Kid A Doll And You Might Just Be Saving Their Life

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Little Andy Barclay, played by Alex Vincent, gets a Good Guy doll called Chucky, voiced by Brad Dourif, for his birthday little does he know that it will change his life forever.

Though I do enjoy the more light hearted fare that we got as the Child’s Play franchise progressed I have to say that I think the more serious approach of this film first worked well, maybe even better. I liked the wider focus on Chucky/Charles Lee Ray as an evil serial killer, who isn’t cracking jokes all the time, as well as the more serious look at voodoo magic.

I liked the plot of the film even if it does feel a little samey now as all other possessed or evil doll films take a similar line, I thought that it was engaging and I liked that most of the characters in the film just thought Andy was lying and tried to lock him away, it is more realistic.

Overall, it still holds up well though it may seem a little familiar to modern audiences.

Pros.

Dourif

A more serious tone

It has some good scares

The fact people don’t believe Andy

Cons.

It feels a little familiar and worn watching it in modern times

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The Curse Of Bridge Hallow: Marlon Wayans The Family Film Star

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A family moving into the suburbs are surprised to find that Halloween decorations are coming to life all over town.

Marlon Wayans in a family comedy? The phrase seems wrong doesn’t it, when I think of Marlon Wayans I think of his plethora of adult focused parody films or perhaps some of his surprising dramatic turns, but never once do I think of him as being a family film star. That said I actually liked him in this and thought that he was the best part of the film, without him this film would have been a lot worse that’s for sure.

I think the premise of the film feels very familiar and nothing new is added to it here, for the most part everything is incredibly predictable and you know where it is heading. Obviously as this is a family film the scares are fairly light on the ground, but Wayans does bring one or two laughs to make up for it.

The wider cast outside of Wayans might as well not even be there because none of them even register. For the most part they are a collection of phoned in performances and cliches lacking anything even remotely resembling character or personality, this is why Wayans and his character anchor this film so well as they at least bring some charm to proceedings.

Overall, a fairly average film made slightly better by Marlon Wayans.

Pros.

Wayans

A few funny moments

It is watchable

Cons.

It is very familiar and predictable

Most of the cast here aren’t very good

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The Midnight Club Season Overview: The Horror Series That Forgot To Be Scary

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of terminally ill teens spend their time telling each other scary stories and vowing to send each other signs from the afterlife.

What I am about to say might sound like horror heresy to some but stick with me, I think Mike Flanigan’s Netflix series have been on a downward spiral since Hill House, with this being quite clearly its lowest ebb.

I have quite a few issues with the season as a whole but I think the worst is just how teen angsty the whole thing is. You would be forgiven for thinking that what you are watching is a YA series rather than a horror one and really that is because very little time is spent actually trying to scare the audience and a lot more is spent having the kids make long speeches about how the adults just don’t understand them. This is accompanied by many, many long drawn out conversations about feelings.

Another fairly large issue with the season is how badly paced it is. For a start the whole thing could be cut down by a few episodes and be a lot better, a lot of the episodes are packed with filler and plot lines that just go nowhere which could easily be cut out at no expense to the show. Honestly in the back half of the season this show is a slog to watch.

I really do think the most damning piece of criticism I could give this show is that it is not what it claims to be, this is not a horror series in any way as it never sets out to scare you and the few scares it does include, to avoid claims of false advertising, don’t work at all.

Overall, Mike Flanigan should take a few years off from making horror content and go back to basics and really figure out what is working and what isn’t.

Pros.

It is watchable

Anya’s story is easily the best and is genuinely creepy

Cons.

For the most part this show is more of a teen drama then it is a horror series

It is not scary

It has horrible pacing

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Invasion Of The Body Snatchers: Is Anyone You Know Behaving Differently?

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

People in small town America are switched with parasitic aliens who make doubles of them.

I have never seen the original Invasion Of The Body Snatchers so I can’t say how this remake compares to it. Additionally due to my lack of experience with the original film I came into this one with fresh eyes not sure what to expect, I would say widely I enjoyed the film though there are a few elements where I think it can be improved.

I liked the paranoid thriller aspects of this film wherein we don’t know who is a pod persona and who isn’t right away, and as the number of pod people grows our heroes become more and more outnumbered both of these add to the stakes of the film as well as the greater sense of threat. However, the scaling of the threat is not done very well, these elements are brought in fairly early on and are at maximum from the get-go so there is no rising sense of things getting worse throughout the film, from the midpoint things are at their worst and it continues at the same level from there.

It is nice to see the familiar faces of Jeff Goldblum and Donald Sutherland, I would say both add a lot to the film though Goldblum probably steals the show. Outside of the two of them the rest of the performances are more of a mixed bag, I think this is more easily gotten away with due to the genre of the film and the fact some of the actors are tasked with playing aliens.

The pacing of the film leaves quite a lot to be desired, I would say the film could quarter its runtime and be better for it, as you approach the last act of the film viewing really starts to feel like a drag. It goes on for far too long.

Overall, a good paranoid thriller that could be better paced and performed.

Pros.

Some good paranoid elements

Goldblum

It is watchable

Cons.

The performances aren’t great across the board

The threat isn’t scaled up over the course of the film

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Cursed Friends: Finding A Razor Blade In Your Halloween Treats Would Be More Fun Than Watching This

0.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of friends find the predictions they made decades earlier coming eerily true.

So the opening few minutes of this film could be a cautionary tale all its own, bad effects work, worse jokes and immediately unlikeable characters. Yet what follows is so much worse, the direct next sequence is the gang as tweens walking around and talking about how much they want to ‘shag’ the boy dressed as Austin Powers. If that doesn’t tell you why this film sucks nothing ever will.

I have written quite a lot about the digital future and the pros of streaming, yet this film presents me with a very real case for how it is ruining the industry. Before pretty much every movie studio had a streaming service that they needed to plug with content things like this would get made far less and that was a good thing. However, with today’s need for content at all costs these sort of low effort, unfunny, trash pieces are becoming more and more frequent.

The thing that I think is the worst about this film is how try hard it is. Every joke tries to out edgy the last until honestly it just becomes boring because behind that edge there is no real bite just desperation. In my mind Jessica Lowe’s Erica was probably the worst in this regard, she was both unfunny and unlikeable and most of her jokes were written to be as outrageous as possible. However, Lowe is just one of a truly bad bunch, no one is good here and the fact that Will Arnett even agreed to be in this is nothing short of manically depressing.

Overall, probably the worst horror film this Halloween season.

Pros.

It is not offensively bad

Cons.

It is not funny

None of the characters are likeable

It is trying too hard to be edgy

Will Arnett needs to have some conversations with his agent

It is really just awful

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The Fog: Beware The Rolling Tide

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A mysterious fog rolls in over a small town killing lots of residents.

I enjoyed this film a lot and think that within Carpenter’s work other than Halloween this film is easily his best. There is something so wonderfully gothic about this film, the atmosphere is heightened and used to great effect for the scares which do come in quite naturally. I think as a result of this there is quite an unsettling quality to the film.

One thing I would say in terms of a negative for the film is that when the ghosts do in fact show up they look quite goofy in most of their scenes bar their final few. I think that was more a limitation of the technology of the time, but it does somewhat hold back the fear factor.

I liked that this film was packed with a cast of Carpenter mainstays and thought that all of the central performers did a great job. Adrienne Barbeau was a really strong lead anchor for the film and of course whenever Jamie Lee Curtis came on screen she stole her scene.

Overall, perhaps a underrated Carpenter great.

Pros.

Barbeau

Curtis

The atmosphere

The scares

Cons.

The ghost pirates look a little silly at times

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Halloween Ends: On A Par With The First Film

5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Halloween finally ends

Spoilers

A lot of people have not liked this film, and most of the critical reviews of the film out so far have been deeply negative, I however enjoyed this film a lot. A little context before we get into it, firstly I really disliked Kills and everything it did to the franchise, secondly I went into this film with incredibly low expectations.

Lets get right to the end and start there. I enjoyed that this film killed off Michael Myers, played by James Jude Courtney, I thought the final showdown with Laurie, played by Jamie Lee Curtis was perfect and liked that they threw his body into a crusher just to make sure. In that same category I liked that the film didn’t kill off Laurie as I always thought the idea of both of them having to die for Halloween to end was dumb, I thought it was sweet they let her character be happy.

I also thought thematically this film worked a lot better with the idea of letting evil in and locking it out and protecting yourself being poignant frames for the film. I liked that the narrative of Laurie’s book intensively fed into the plot and direction of the film. Likewise I thought the idea of generational evil with Corey Cunningham, played by Rohan Campbell, being somewhat of the new Michael Myers was a nice twist. I thought unlike other passing the torch narratives this felt a lot more earned and a lot better structured, we see Corey be tortured by the town and finally break and then join forces with Michael even taking the mask from him at one point. However, I also liked that in the end Michael reclaimed his mask.

Lastly, I also really enjoyed how the film played with the idea of Michael being a supernatural entity. The franchise has kind of set Michael up to be almost unkillable, as he is evil itself, however, here we still see that he has regenerative powers seemingly gaining strength from killing but we are also confronted by his age and the fact that he can’t keep going forever. I think these two contrasting elements work really nicely together to give us a whole new side to Michael Myers.

Overall, a fitting end to a beloved horror series.

Pros.

Generations of evil

Killing off Myers

Laurie finally gets closure

The meta narrative of the book feeding into the themes and plot of the film

Giving Alison, played by Andi Matichak, a much bigger role then what she got in Kills

Cons.

None, I thoroughly enjoyed by time with it.

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Chucky: Halloween II

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Continuing on from the end of last season Andy, played by Alex Vincent, seemingly perishes destroying the last of the Chucky dolls. However, a few months later the original group of teens from the first season start to find themselves under attack again.

I still do like this show, even if I think this opening episode is quite weak. I think Brad Dourif’s Chucky is still al lot of fun and the show can really master tension when it wants to. I enjoyed the Chucky scenes we got in this episode.

However, my issues with this season premiere is that the writing feels quite contrived. Andy is seemingly killed off even though it is super obvious that he will be coming back, and the kids all find themselves sent to a Catholic boarding school at the end of the episode, can you get anymore cliché. Furthermore, this idea of a school for troubled kids reminded me a lot of the military academy setting for Child’s Play 3 so it seems as though the series is just recycling ideas from the films.

In addition to that I thought this episode really went out of its way to sexualise Alyvia Alyn Lind’s Lexy, which is extra creepy when you realise that the actor is only 15. This is not just a one off incident either as there were scenes in the first season that again put her character in very revealing and sexualised scenes. I understand that the show wants to tackle teenage sexuality, but it could have at least had an older cast playing younger rather than having minors play out sex scenes, it feels very inappropriate.

Overall, the season will need to do a lot more to keep me around, also stop sexualising a 15 year old it’s weird.

Pros.

Dourif’s Chucky

It is watchable

It can still deliver the scares and the tension

Cons.

It is creepy towards a minor

It feels deeply cliched

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Werewolf By Night: The Savior Of The MCU

4.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Meet the supernatural side of the MCU

I thought this was one of the best things I have seen out of the MCU in a long time. It reminded me of why I care so much about this universe in the first place. I will admit up front that I am a big fan of the supernatural characters in the comics Blade, Ghost Rider, Moon Knight and Elsa Bloodstone has always been a particular favourite so I might be a little bias on this one. However, going against that is the idea that I went into this with a lot higher expectations than a lot of other people who might not care about the characters of Werewolf by Night, played by Gael Garcia Bernal, and Elsa Bloodstone, played by Laura Donnelly. Not only were my expectations met but vastly exceeded.

I really enjoyed seeing these horror elements interact with the MCU formula and I thought that this unlike some of the newer entries into the MCU actually felt quite fresh and new. There is an obvious inspiration from classic horror which works well here, and the use of black and white adds to both that aesthetic but also allows for more violence to be shown. I would say that in terms of gore this is probably the furthest we have ever seen the MCU go, it is not Saw, but for the MCU it might as well be there is some grizzly kills.

Bernal and Donnelly both do a terrific job and easily become beloved, again maybe I am bias. Though I can’t wait to see more of them going forward, I do have two little nit-picky complaints firstly this special does not explain Jack Russell/ Werewolf By Nights origins at all and just throws you into things, I would have added a few scenes highlighting his backstory a little more, and secondly that when the switch to colour does happen Elsa doesn’t have her trademark red hair. I know that second one is pathetically pedantic, but hey.

Overall, a magnificent first outing for Marvel’s special presentations.

Pros.

Donnelly

Bernal

Man-Thing was also really great, didn’t get to him in the review so I wanted to give him some praise here

The horror elements

The gore

Cons.

A few little nit-picky issues

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Jeepers Creepers Reborn: The Youtube Sketch Parody No One Asked For

0.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The parody film to the Jeepers Creepers franchise.

I liked Iron Sky and enjoyed what they did with it, but that same style was never going to work with a serious horror film. As such what we get is a joke that takes various elements from the previous films and then spits them back at us through a fake out almost spoof lens. This film wants desperately for you to take it seriously, but ultimately it is so damned goofy and silly that it is almost impossible to do so.

Moreover, you can really tell this film was made on the cheap. Now I am not saying there is anything wrong with small budget films, but this one does it in all the worst sort of ways. It gives us lots of close up shots of the Creeper, and he just looks like a dude in body paint. This film goes out of its way to make the Creeper as tame and non-threatening as possible. Also don’t get me started on the baby cult thing.

Really I found there to be nothing redeemable about this film.

Overall, awful just awful.

Pros.

It is laughably bad at times

Cons

It is basically a parody of the series

The Creeper looks awful

The cult of the Creeper thing destroys the monster

It is not scary

It is aggressively average

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