Windfall: Netflix Needs To Stop Giving Lily Collins Work

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

An ode to Hollywood that really didn’t understand the assignment.

This film did the impossible, it gave us a rare bad Jessie Plemons performance; a thing until recently I thought impossible. However, I will contextualise that point as no one is really good in this film as such how can anyone be bad? More so it is shades of average in terms of performance. Jason Segel is the most palatable, and it is nice to see him giving a straight dramatic performance without making dumb jokes. Lily Colins is just playing herself, it would have been more interesting to have cast Plemons’s real life wife Kristen Dunst in the role and played it that way but hey Colins is married to the director and that has to have some perks right? Plemons just seems tired here, there are a few scenes where it looks like he is going to give it his all but then he seems to run out of steam.

As I mentioned in the summary this film opens like a classic Hollywood picture and has the ego to think that it is the modern incarnation, but the noir esque sensibilities quickly get lost along the way as the film devolves into a very basic crime/ hostage film. Moreover, if the ending was going for shocking then it failed at that too as almost everyone must have seen that twist coming from a million miles away.

Overall, more drab fare for Netflix soon to be forgotten about.

Pros.

Segel is palatable

It is watchable if dull

Cons.

Colins

Plemons

It feels derivative

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Umma: Mummy Issues

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A mother, played by Sandra Oh, and her daughter, played by Fivel Stewart, must contend with past ghosts that arrive after a death in the family.

So I will give this film props for originality, the Korean flavour to it helped to set it apart from a lot of other mother-daughter horror films out there, moreover, the mythology of the film feels likewise fresh and novel.

However, that is where the praise ends, as though there was some novelty to the film for the most part it was incredibly cliched and predictable. I don’t know if it is just because I watch a lot of films, but I could accurately work out from the opening five minutes where this film was going and how it was going to end and it did just that, not a surprise in store.

Moreover, the mother-daughter relationship between Oh and Stewarts’ characters felt like re-treading well worn ground, the relationship added little new to either the genre as a whole or to mother-daughter relationships in general, much like the wider conflict of the film we have seen it before.

Overall, though certain parts of the horror feel fresh it can’t mask the wider feeling of over familiarity and blandness on display here.

Pros.

The Korean inspiration to the horror

It is watchable

Cons.

The mother-daughter relationship

It is generic

It has been done better before

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Pitch Perfect: When They Give Up On The Pretense That Adult Actors Are Uni Students

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of people, who are far too old to call themselves students, gather together for a university acapella tournament.

I may be alone in my belief, but I actually think that the Pitch Perfect films get better with each subsequent instalment, that is to say that when they get sillier and more out there I enjoy them more. As such I found this university set competition all too familiar and boring. What I wouldn’t have given for a boat chase or a global romance arc.

My main issue with this film is that it has been done before and feels far too similar to its predecessors, there is no drama or stakes as we all know where it is going. Moreover, rather than feel like characters each of the girls in the main group just feel like different stereotypes and cliches stitched together by an algorithm.

Furthermore, the villain of the piece, if you can call him that, Bumper Allen, played by Adam DeVine, is as paper thin as you can get. Moreover, the plot just abandons him when it realises it doesn’t need him anymore which makes no sense and reeks of convenient writing. Usually DeVine can save a project but this isn’t his day at all.

Overall, a weak start to the franchise.

Pros.

The songs

Anna Kendrick is a serviceable lead

The pacing

Cons.

DeVine

Most of the characters are cliched

It feels far too familiar

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Found Footage Dracula

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Dracula finally goes found footage.

I have been excited to see this film for a while now, and now that I have I can say it lived up to my expectations. It was both what you would imagine it to be, a found footage film about Dracula but also so much more, I liked that this film was not afraid to do something different with the classic tale and mix things up, I thought the originality was both novel and refreshing.

I thought this film did a lot with its premise and filming methods and managed to be both entertaining and tense throughout. Just when I think the found footage sub-genre has started to dry up for good, something like this comes along and renews my faith in it.

My one critique of the film would be that it felt quite rushed. By that I mean the film could have been strengthened by adding ten or twenty minutes to the runtime as it would have allowed the film to come into its own just that bit more.

Overall, a very novel film that brings you a fresh take on a well-worn story.

Pros.

The originality

Making the most of the format

The performances

Entertaining and tense throughout

Cons.

The pacing had some issues, it could have done with being a bit longer

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The Last Witch Hunter: Diesel’s Greatest Performance Was Convincing Us He Was Into Fantasy

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Vin Diesel tries desperately to set up a new franchise so that when the Fast And The Furious ends he still gets some acting roles.

Deary me, what went wrong here?

I think this might have been the most miscast Diesel has ever been, I know he says that he is into dungeons and dragons and role play and all of that but his love for the fantasy genre does not come out here, he is just playing the same character he always does…. Himself.

The only reason this film gets a 1 from me is because of Rose Leslie, she tries hard and it is sad that her career never took off after Game Of Thrones in the same way other people’s did. Ultimately though with a lead as flat as Diesel this film was never going anywhere and it is a shame she hitched herself to it.

Moreover, I understand that the budget for this film was a little on the lower side for a ‘blockbuster’, but what was with the terrible special effects? Honestly they were some of the worst effects I have seen in a long while.

Overall, this film makes Gods Of Egypt look good.

Pros

Leslie

Cons.

Diesel can’t act

The special effects are god awful

It has horrible pacing

It feels very bland

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Jackass Forever: It Is Sad Watching Old Men Embarrass Themselves For A Cheap Laugh

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

This needs to be the last Jackass movie.

I had heard good word of mouth going into this film so I had moderate to high expectations for it and honestly I was kind of bored by it, there were a few moments of good old fashioned Jackass goodness peppered in here and there but for the most part you can’t escape a sense of desperation.

Said desperation is on ready display across this film as the gang seem to give up on doing anything remotely interesting stunt wise and instead are just keen to do gross out bits wherein they get their dicks out, by the fourth or fifth time someone was showing off their dick I really started to realise that they have just run out of ideas.

Worse yet are the celebrity cameos which feel like they were only included for the trailer of the film, that is how fleeting they are, no doubt they will release another .5 version and show more celebrity footage but as it stands Machine Gun Kelly and Eric André are in the film for such a short amount of time that it makes you question whether the film production could afford their day rates.

Overall, long over the hill.

Pros.

A few entertaining moments

The opening skit is pretty good

Cons.

It feels desperate

It isn’t funny anymore

The celebrity cameos

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The Phantom Of The Open: Aim For The Bunker, Then Hit The Green.

4.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The true story of the worst golfer of all-time.

This was an unexpected treat, made doubly so by the fact that this film was directed by Craig Roberts one of the most underrated talents working today, until watching this I was not even aware that Roberts had moved into directing but I can now say it suits him.

This film was the perfect balance of trippy abstractness and British working class values, never fully leaning to one or the other and though that might sound strange or even paradoxical it works well. Moreover, the film is incredibly uplifting and feel good which after the couple of years we have all just had gives it an extra point from me, there were multiple times whilst viewing that I had a smile on my face.

Mark Rylance is outstanding in the lead and really sells both the character and his journey, as such I think it would be nigh on impossible to watch this film and not be rooting for Flitcroft as he is incredibly affable.

Overall, one of the best films of the year so far, certainly check it out.

Pros.

The abstract scenes

Rylance

The feel good aspects

The ending

Cons.

A few slight structural issues

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1408: Did Someone Call The Hotel Inspector?

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A haunted house investigator, played by John Cusack, finally meets his match.

I have been a fan of Stephen King for many years and watched many of the adaptions of his work, however, this one has always slipped through my grasp, for reasons unknown. Upon watching it now I wish I had watched it sooner.

For the most part this is a good haunted house film, the story is suitably scary and the threat feels very real, Samuel L. Jackson does a lot with a very limited roll, and the dated early 2000s CGI effects bring an element of fond nostalgia with them. I would say the film crosses the line into unintentionally funny a few times, but for the most part this isn’t the case.

I saw the director’s cut ending and enjoyed it immensely I thought it managed to nail the tone perfectly between bleak and intriguing, I am aware there are several different endings out there and tried to watch as many of them as I could after watching this film to see which worked the best- I found the director’s cut ending was the best.

My one complaint of this film would be John Cusack. Now, this is only a light criticism but it must be said, Cusack is playing himself here as he often does, if you don’t like Cusack’s shtick then you will find his character irritating and annoying so that may hamper your enjoyment of this film.

Overall, a fun charming horror film.

Pros.

Jackson

The director’s cut ending

The dated CGI

The scares

Cons.

Cusack is not even trying to act here

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The Cursed: A New Breed Of Werewolf

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A British hamlet falls prey to a Romani curse and becomes the hunting ground for a werewolf.

This was by no means a perfect film, however, as far as the werewolf sub-genre goes it was fairly competent.

I enjoyed the visuals and the fact that this film held nothing back in the gore department, I also appreciated the originality of the premise and how the werewolf came to be; though I will be remiss if I don’t mention the fact it furthers negative concepts about the Roma community.

Moreover, I thought Boyd Holbrook was surprisingly good here, not only was he a welcome on-screen presence but he was also trying to act, and though his accent was inconsistent he did give a good performance for the most part and sunk into the character.

My main criticism of the film would be that it has quite bad pacing issues and feels far longer than it actually is. I would not say the film becomes boring, but I would say it comes dangerously close to it several times.

Overall, a fairly decent werewolf film though nothing to write home about.

Pros.

Holbrook

The originality

The visuals

Cons.

Furthering negative stereotypes about the Romany people

The pacing

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Rescued By Ruby: Netflix Goes For The Pure Flix Crowd

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Yet another dog film.

This is trash quite frankly. Netflix wonders why it is slipping behind the other streaming services and losing more and more customers well this is why, for a subscription to one of the most expensive streaming services on the market, which has just put its prices up, to be making this kind of bargain bin content is frankly insulting to customers. I have a strong belief that over the coming decade Netflix will be outpaced, outflanked and ultimately fade into obscurity unless they change their act.

Such is the poor quality of this film that I thought for sure it was a Pure Flix release, in many ways this film has a lot of the same imagery and moments as one of those uber Christian films: maybe there has been a mix up?

Moreover, this film highlights to the nth degree how lucky Grant Gustin is to have The Flash to fall back on as this film proves without any doubt that he can’t act, and lacks any kind of leading man charm. If I were Gustin I would be hoping with all my might that The Flash gets picked up for another 5 seasons as there aren’t any other offers coming in.

Overall, it almost feels like Netflix is trying to force me to cancel my subscription.

Pros.

People like dogs

Cons.

It feels like a Pure Flix film

Gustin

It is dull and tedious to get through

Everything about it is deeply cliched

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