Talk To Me: Holding Hands Made Somewhat Scary

Summary

A group of Australian teens start playing with a hand and seeing dead people.

This review might be slightly controversial as this film seemed to be liked by a lot of people, but maybe this is Midsommer all over again. I think, and pardon me if this seems a little pretentious, that for a casual horror fan or the mainstream audience this may seem new and fresh, yet for someone who is an obsessive on the genre this felt a little stale to me.

The urban isolation, the corrupting influence of the dead, the fact that the lead, played by Sophie Wilde, just wanted to see her mum again have all been done before. The twists and turns of the film weren’t surprising to me it has been done and done better before.

The violence in the film is visually shocking and does create an impact when you see it, but even then again if you are going into this film as a gore hound wanting to see some gnarly sites then outside of one or two moments your blood lust won’t be fulfilled here.

Overall a fine film, not good or bad just average, if you are less familiar with horror and less familiar with A24 then you will enjoy this film more than I did but if you aren’t then you will see this film is just a retread.

2.5/5

Pros.

It is watchable

The violence is done well

It is relatively short

Cons.

It is predictable

Been there and done that in the extreme

It does not surprise you

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Insidious The Red Door: Ignoring The Most Interesting Parts Of Your Franchise

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The seeming finale of the Insidious franchise goes out with a whimper.

This film had been billed by its trailers as a film that was finally going to have the human characters go into the Further and get answers for all that has happened to them, we as a viewing audience were finally going to get to find out more about how it all worked and learn more of the mythology behind the series. However, clearly there was a massive disconnect between the people who cut the trailer and the creatives behind the film itself. The actual amount of time spent in the Further was probably less than across the whole series combined, instead we got an angsty story about a father and son relationship, neither of whom you particularly care about.

The sort of schmaltzy vibe that this film tries to hit would not be so out of place in Wilson’s other horror franchise The Conjuring where the character relationships especially between Wilson’s character and his on screen wife, played by Vera Farmiga, play a big role. Whereas here we don’t care the Insidious franchise has never really dived into this sort of thing before and as such it feels out of place, it feels as though the original creatives were too busy to give this a proper end so Sony just hired their second or maybe even third choice and said, ‘go for it’.

Again there is no effort made here for scares or to be scary, because despite being part of a horror franchise this film is only really concerned with addressing broken family dynamics.

Overall, a disappointing film that is bound to leave a bad taste in many fan’s mouths.

1.5/5

Pros.

Wilson gives a good performance

It is mercifully short

Cons.

Byrne is wasted

The Lin Shaye tie in feels incredibly cheap

It feels as though no thought was put into this at all

It is incredibly disappointing

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Elemental: Pixar’s Attempt To Address Immigration In The Silliest Way Possible

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Pixar has run out of ideas so is now making films about elements, what’s next a feature length film about a cup of coffee.

So I went into this with low expectations, like basement level low expectations. I had seen the trailers and I thought that the film just looked like generic animated pap that repeated the same few life lessons all animated films do over and over again in an effort to entertain kids in the summer. However, there was far more to it than that and I would argue that this film has one of Pixar’s most developed and engaging emotional cores and that the romance between its leads is the sweetest one I have seen from the studio in years. I left this film blown away by how much it made me feel and yes I was a little bit emotional at the end.

What I would say about this film, and this is where I believe this film has gone majorly/wrong, is that it shouldn’t be about elements. At its very heart this is a film about worlds colliding, as cliché as that is, and of immigration with the latter playing a key role throughout the plot and informing a number of character relationships. I think this film would have been a triumph if it had just been exactly the same but swapped out the elemental characters for human characters and had it been an animated film about a grown up child of immigrants falling in love with someone from outside her community with the two helping each other grow. Now I can think of a pretty obvious reason this wasn’t done, as it may be viewed by some as too political and Disney might have had a panic thinking how is that going to play in Middle America, but I think if they had done that I would be giving this film a 5.

Overall, a hell of a surprise buried under some needless nonsense.

4/5

Pros.

The romance

The emotional core of the story

The inter-character relationships in a non-relationship sense

It is genuinely effecting

Cons.

The use idea of it being elements just doesn’t work at all

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Demon Slayer The Movie Mugen Train: The Embers Of A Dream

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Our friendly band of Demon Slayers ride the rails only to come up against one of their toughest challenges yet.

I watched this film in the episodic approach as that was what I had available to me.

I thought this was a great film, perfectly expanding on the ending of the first season and nicely bridging the gap between the seasons. I think what is so impressive about this was the depth of emotional maturity they aimed for with it especially when you consider this series is supposed to be for kids. The scenes wherein Tanjiro went back to see his dead family, though dreams, and had to leave them again as they were begging him not to go, hit hard and you really do feel the emotion behind them.

I am somewhat mixed on the new Hashira Kyojuro Rengoku, on the one hand he has a number of strong scenes that make him a very welcome new addition to the show. However, on the other his ultimate fate is teased heavily in the opening credits, and as such I felt that the impact was lessened at the end when he did die. Though that said I still liked the character and was sad when he died.

The action and the fight scenes are well done and the film as a whole does feel like it has a bigger scope than the first season of the show, allowing it to really tap into the horror and monstrosity more which greatly benefited things.

Overall, a great follow up film.

4.5/5

Pros.

The action

The emotional impact

Nezuko really shines in her limited appearances

It gets me excited for the next season of the show

It widens the scope

Cons.

Rengoku’s death is a little spoiled by the opening credits

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Fast X: Running Out Of Road

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The Fast Family have yet another figure from their past set out to seek revenge upon them.

These movies are getting tired, it is always the same thing over and over again. I know no one is coming to these films for their sparkling and thoughtful plots, but at the same time that doesn’t mean they have to be boring and repetitive, they should try a little.

What I would appreciate about this film is if death mattered. By that I mean in the final act of the film a number of characters are seemingly killed off and I have a feeling that these deaths will be reversed immediately at the start of the next film which will ruin the stakes and prove that death is meaningless in this universe. Having Jason Momoa’s villain killing off a number of beloved members of the family would set him up as being an important villain, enough to top all who have come before him and be worthy of the finale, but I have a feeling they might just give him Jacob’s, played by John Cena, death. I thinking killing off Cena’s character is stupid as he wasn’t around long enough to feel important as such his death is fairly meaningless.

I think the best thing about this film is the new blood. Brie Larson and Daniela Melchior both have great scenes throughout the film and help to bring in some new character dynamics that break the same old same old that we are getting sick of with this franchise. Larson in particular should have a much bigger role in the next film as she is electric here.

Overall, more spectacle, but does it mean anything?

3/5

Pros.

It is silly

The new characters

Mamoa is having a lot of fun

Cons.

The deaths feel meaningless and easily reversed

Vin Diesel gives his worst performance in years

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Blackberry: The Rise And Fall Of A Titan

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The rise and fall of one of the most prolific mobile phone companies of the Noughties.

So let me start off by saying that this is a fantastic showing from Glenn Howerton. He is on top form here and really does prove that he has solid dramatic chops, it is a shame his agent has him doing sub-par series like Velma that totally waste his talents. Through and through this is Howerton’s film.

Moreover, as far as the rise and fall of x company films go this one was quite compelling and interesting for the first hour and a half, we’ll get to that other half an hour in just a moment. I found myself really interested and engaged with how the company was slowly losing its soul over time and thought that the cast did a really great job getting me to care about the characters.

However, it isn’t all sunshine and roses, within the last act of the film things go off the rails quickly, mainly they side-line Howerton’s character for big stretches which hurt the film a lot, and then they try to tie it all together with a montage of this is where they are now scenes at the end, this doesn’t work as it feels like after spending over an hour getting you to care about these characters the film just drops the ball with them at the end.

Overall, Howerton makes this film as good as it is, but the disastrous third act really hurts the film significantly.

3/5

Pros.

Howerton

The early pacing and the rise parts of the film

The soundtrack

Cons.

The last act really drops the ball

The final act also side-lines Howerton, a terrible move

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The Boogeyman: Clearly This Film Didn’t Have The Budget To Spring For Any Kind Of Lighting

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A family is plunged into a fight for survival after a supernatural evil takes over their home following the death of their matriarch.

The director behind Host and Dashcam made this film, two of the strongest horror films in recent memory, my, my what a step back.

This feels like the most bland form of studio horror, entirely by the book and with nothing new to surprise you. The metaphor of the film is ham-fistedly done and stands in a poor contrast to other films that try and reflect grief through a supernatural entity, see The Babadook. If you have been paying attention to the genre space recently you will see scares from Smile and Barbarian repeated here sans the punch they had in those films.

The monster is well designed and does look genuinely menacing at times and that is one of the few positives I can give this film. However, despite this good design you will rarely ever see the monster because the film is so dark that you can barely see what is going on most of the time. If you want to get incredibly drunk play a drinking game for every time a character in this film enters a room and doesn’t put a light on, or every time in the middle of the day everything feels like it is on half brightness. I understand this film may have been made on the cheap and as such not have the budget to be showing off a CGI monster at every turn, but the level of darkness in this film is just ridiculous.

Moreover, in terms of performances the central family are serviceable, Yellowjackets’ own Sophie Thatcher steals the show in a number of scenes, but she doesn’t have much to compete with. The film has pretty much all the characters outside of the main family be dislikeable, I don’t know why. They even try and force in some mean girl stuff towards the end that just feels like the most cliché pap and makes you roll your eyes hard.

Lastly, there is something so depressing about this film that at times it makes it unpleasant to watch. I understand the irony of saying that about a horror film but I would argue that plenty of horror films cover depressing and dark topics without making the viewing experience feel depressing. Take Hereditary for example a little girl dies fairly early on and a family descends into hell, but at the same time it is still a fun and thrilling viewing experience you don’t leave the film sad, or at least I didn’t, the same can’t be said for this film.

Overall, a disappointment.

2/5

Pros.

The monster, when you see it

Thatcher

Cons.

It is too dark both literally and figuratively

All of the non-family character are immensely dislikeable/ they force in some teen drama for no good reason

It has horrible pacing issues

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Fool’s Paradise: Mocking The Disabled And Using Sexual Assault As A Punchline

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Charlie Day plays a modern day version of a Charlie Chaplin character

There was a lot wrong with this film. In many ways it felt like the sort of film that Adam Sandler would put out say a decade ago, crude, stupid and very mean spirited. There is perhaps an assumption on Day’s part that because he is playing the character that is the butt of the joke and he is the one that put the film together then it makes it okay and less mean spirited, but I disagree.

The plot wants you to be entertained by, and find funny, the mistakes and misunderstandings of someone who clearly has learning difficulties, the film even clearly states that this man has the mind of a child. So right off the bat this film feels like it is mocking the disabled, but it gets worse, there are a number of scenes where this character is sexually assaulted and it is played for laughs. At no point across the film does this character show any knowledge of what sex is let alone a form of consent, yet these female characters force him into performing and that is supposed to be funny. It is seriously messed up and damaging.

It is a shame the film ends up in such a puerile place as it does have some good celebrity cameos, said cameos often steal the show and are funnier than anything else happening on screen. In terms of pacing a lot of these cameos are clustered together rather than being peppered in throughout the film which leads to them going a bit underappreciated as you don’t really have time to notice them all.

Overall, a horrible film that belongs in the bin of history.

1.5/5

Pros.

The cameos

A few funny jokes

Cons.

It makes fun of someone who clearly has disabilities

It features frequent sexual assaults and frame them as funny jokes

It is toxic

The cameos are not spread out well within the film

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Hypnotic: Ben Affleck Has A Terrible Agent

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Ben Affleck has mind powers and they are so good he has forgotten about them.

What happened to Robert Rodriguez? Honestly once upon a time he was my favourite director and I would rush out for each of his films opening weekend, but now he is just making fairly subpar family films and stuff like this.

I will admit the idea of Ben Affleck trying to find his lost daughter going up against a cult of people with mind control abilities is genuinely interesting and if the film had stuck to the that then maybe this review would be different. However, the film seems to want to compete with the mind games of a Nolan film and adds in twist after twist to such a point that any shred of promise is wasted and the film becomes incomprehensible. This film wants so badly to be a Nolan esque film but it just doesn’t have a smart enough script for it.

The ending is also incredibly terrible and feels like the most convenient writing I have ever seen in recent cinema. The ending makes no sense, but everything after the first half an hour is like that, and also tries to go for a happy ending even though nothing in the tone of the film or the narrative suggests that to be appropriate.

Ben Affleck is doing his usual moody dad routine, and that worked for me here and I think it fit the character well, better than it did in some of his other recent work. The acting is all fine, no one particularly sticks out for good or for bad.

Overall, if this is the quality of his contemporary output Robert Rodriguez should retire.

2.5/5

Pros.

The premise is sound

Affleck fits the role

It is watchable

Cons.

It is a stupid film that thinks it is an intelligent one

It makes no sense

The ending is truly awful

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The Book Club The Next Chapter: The Sequel No One Needed

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of old friends head to Italy for a bachelorette party.

I was in two minds about watching this film at all, the first was fairly abysmal and was nothing other than a cynical ploy to cash in on the Fifty Shades fad that was popular when the film was greenlit. However, I must say that this film faired better than the first and was watchable and even charming at times, now there were some pretty big issues with the film don’t get me wrong but it was at least more passable than the first film.

In a sense I applaud this film for trying to be a sex comedy film at times with older women. Within the landscape and our broader culture old women are far too often seen as sexless and grandmotherly ceasing to have needs of their own, so it was nice that this film tried to address that. Although it must be said that it does so with the grace of a wrecking ball, and rather than have a mature conversation about the sexuality of older women the film instead just crams as many groan inducing, in a bad way, sex jokes as it can into its runtime. It just feels a little juvenile, though it must be said it is handled with more class than something that Al Pacino or Robert De Niro would do wherein they would be doing gross physical comedy as well.

Something that hit me early on with the film and that opened things on a sour note was how much this film is a covid film. By that I mean that this film within the first few minutes must have mentioned covid at least twenty times, and again I feel like this is done as when the film was being made the pandemic was a big news item, however, now upon release it just serves to date the film.

Both of those issues exist alongside the various technical issues that plague this film such as convenient writing, a generic plot, pacing issues and over sentimentality, but you would expect those sort of issues with a film of this nature so I won’t spend time addressing each in turn, just trust me they are there.

Overall, hopefully this is a closed book now.

2/5

Pros

It is watchable

It opens a much needed conversation on the taboo of older female sexuality within media

Cons

It turns an important conversation into a series of sex jokes that are never funny

It is generic, dull and at times the pacing is trying

The reminder of the pandemic

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