A Haunting In Venice: A Macabre Puppet Show

Summary

Poirot, played by Kenneth Branagh, is back this time to face off against the paranormal.

I think this film was a much needed return to form after Death On The Nile or as I call it Gal Gadot’s vanity project. The decision to forgo some of Christie’s other better known works and to pivot into the supernatural was a strong way to make this film feel fresh. As an ardent fan of horror I thought that the scares here were actually quite good and worked.

I liked the friendship between Poirot and Tina Fey’s character, Poirot is at his best when he has someone to work off and is part of a duo, that was what worked so well in the first film. It was sad to see that in the end Fey was a baddy and had to go away but I would quite like to see Poirot have an assistant, ward or mentee in the next film.

The mystery itself was okay, it was better than Death On The Nile where it was painfully obvious early on what was going on, but I would still say it was not as good as the first film. The fact that they are all being poisoned and that explains away the spooks is fairly obvious from the jump, but the reveal about who was the murderer was better concealed until the end of the film.

Overall, a return to form.

3.5/5

Pros.

The horror aspects

The cinematography

The cast

The gothic feel

Cons.

The mystery is so so

Having Fey turn out to be a villain

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The Nun II: A Superhero Showdown

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Sister Irene, played by Taissa Farmiga, is back and now has super powers.

I enjoyed this a lot, but I have to say if you don’t like the Conjuring films and aren’t up to date on the shared universe then you won’t like this as much as I did. Again I have no idea what the other reviews for this film are like, but I think that this may be one of the cases wherein my own review is a little higher than others because I am so into horror and more ready to give stuff a pass.

I think the horror is good hear, I really liked the goat and thought that the scene early on with the little girls and the devil’s eye, or whatever they called it, was a lot of fun. I would say that some of the jump scares with the Nun were a little obvious, especially if you have seen some of these films before. Again the possession angle was a great way to reunite some of the cast from the first film though I think the film spends way too much time on it we need more Valek.

The third act showdown is a funny state of affairs, where rather than it being more horror focused it almost becomes like the end of a superhero film, with Sister Irene getting special powers from a saint and then going toe to toe with Valek for a bit. It feels very odd in terms of this being a horror film but at the same time it is nice to see a more even fight in one of these demonic possession films usually it is the demon has all the power and then the demonologists or priests manage to somehow best it when all seems lost but it is much more even here.

I think that Taissa is just as capable as her sister in the leading lady department and really carries this film on her shoulders, I think if there are any more Nun films which lets face it there will be Farmiga has to come back. I would like to see her interact with Loraine, played by Vera Farmiga, but I don’t think they could swing that as they like to say that the Conjuring proper films are based on real events whereas the Nun ditches all that. I will say that there is no reason on God’s green earth that Storm Reid needs to be in this film, she adds nothing, and her bad acting is distracting, was she put in for the kids?

Overall, another fun day out in the Conjuring Universe, but not quite as good as the first film.

3.5/5

Pros.

The superhero smackdown at the end

A few good scares

It is nice to see them tie it so well into the first film

Farmiga does a good job

Cons.

Some of the scares are predictable

Reid adds nothing

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My Big Fat Greek Wedding Three: Once More Into Greece

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

For a series of contrived reasons we need another trip to Greece.

Again this is one of the most unnecessary sequels I have seen in a long time, who thought this was needed and so long after the fact as well. There is a part of me that believes this film was only made as a way to justify a holiday to Greece by one of the studio executives.

Again a lot of the charm from the first film and partially the second was lost here, yes there were still moments of what made the first one so easy to warm to but by and large it was just gone, hollow and empty.

Also whoever thought that the way to sell this third film no one wanted was by making it super topical and timely was again way off the mark. Whilst I agree with a lot of the things the film is saying about society and the European migrant crisis, I think that it is tonally inconsistent with the rest of the relatively lighter fare and isn’t mixed in in a way to makes it feel anything other than forced. Also I get that films are filmed usually a year or two before release but because of this some of the points they were trying to make about the migrant crisis feel a little outdated, again good sentiment but terrible implementation.

Overall, an incredibly unnecessary sequel.

2/5

Pros.

There is some fun

The vistas look nice

Cons.

There is no need for this film

The timely messages are several years out of date

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Past Lives: Lost Across Seas

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A young woman, played by Greta Lee, loses touch with her childhood friend, played by Teo Yoo, after her family immigrate to America but then catches up with him again years later.

I think this film is very much an acquired taste, one for which I never adapted. I went into this film with high expectations after hearing a lot of good festival and early screenings buzz, but I just found myself lost with the film. It never seems to catch its tone between a dark comedy, a tragedy and a sort of reverse rom-com and as such you aren’t quite sure how to respond to things as they happen. In the final section of the film the audience wants Lee to cheat and to start up a relationship with Yoo but she doesn’t and instead stays with her husband in tears, is that supposed to be a happy ending as she didn’t break her relationship or is it supposed to be a personal tragedy for her as the happiness in her life fades away and she is left with mediocrity.

As you can probably tell the film itself is very cerebral, it aims to be a meditation on life, love and what it means to outgrow people, but more often than not it comes off as pretentious and thinking it is much deeper than it actually is. Also, and this may be a me thing, but it is also incredibly cringe at times, once you see it you’ll know what I mean.

Overall, depressing and pretentious.

2/5

Pros.

The emotion mostly lands

It has its moments

Cons.

It is depressing

It is pretentious

It has deep and systematic pacing issues

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Haunted Mansion: Danny Devito Goes Full Conspiracy Theorist

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Another film about a Disney park attraction this time sans Eddie Murphy.

This film got slaughtered in a competitive summer season and would have been much better if Disney had waited and released it on Disney + for Halloween, but hey I’m not Bob Iger.

I thought that this film was better than some have said it is, I think the main cast have great chemistry, even if you have some problematic actors in Haddish and the leading man, and mostly play off each other well. I would say that once again Owen Wilson is used perfectly in a small supporting role, I think he is really finding a new niche for himself in these more considered roles like Mobius in Loki.

Again the horror of the film was fair good for a family setting, it had its moments and wasn’t as comedic as they could have made it. Going In I was worried they would have the ghosts be a threat but also be cracking jokes every few minutes to reduce it but no the film did manage to sustain a level of spooky atmosphere throughout.

I would say that the villain was quite weak and the CGI used for him even more so, as I have said in other reviews and articles I am starting to get sick of third acts that boil down to one big CGI battle again I think it just reflects poor writing and how these writers don’t know how to wrap things up in a satisfying way and so the creatives regurgitate CGI colours all over you to try and make you forget.

Overall, an entertaining film that won’t be winning any awards

3/5

Good atmosphere

The cast work well together

I thought the emotional beats hit where they should

Cons.

The CGI

It has pacing issues

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The Last Voyage Of The Demeter: Dracula’s Untold Journey

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The untold story of Dracula’s voyage to the UK.

I was looking forward to this film for a while, and in my opinion this film got a really unfair roll of the dice. Again it was a shame what happened to the production company but it really undercut this film’s ability to really find an audience. However, it did reach me, and I will be its cheerleader.

Yes in a sense this is a creature feature in the way you would expect, that is not a compliment, in that it is a group of people getting picked off by a monster one by one, but I found that outside of this the film did enough to lift up its fairly generic premise. Chiefly, this film does a good job at establishing atmosphere and making the confines of the ship feel even more claustrophobic then they otherwise would. On top of this when you do see Dracula, particularly at the end, the creature effects look well done and distinctive.

Overall, the best Dracula film in a while

4/5

Pros.

The atmosphere

The creature design

The scares

The pacing

Cons.

The acting is a little patchy at times

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Blue Beetle: Another Flop For The DCEU

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Jamie Reyes, played by Xolo Maridueňa, gets the power of the scarab in the latest troubled chapter in the DCEU.

So I will give this film props Maridueňa makes for a likeable lead and his goofy sort of nerdy energy does help this film to avoid a lot of the issues that some of the other DCEU films have with being overly serious. Again I found Jamie as a character to be very relatable, his journey was one I feel a lot of the audience could be on board with: trying to find your place in the world, get your crush to like you, be seen well in the eyes of your family etc, all of these things made the character work.

The wider focus on family as a theme also added a lot to the film, and it is humorous that in the same year we had Shazam Fury Of The Gods a film that wants to be all about family but that forgets what it means pretty early on and instead takes things in a much more obnoxious direction. Here I felt like the family Reyes felt real they felt like a normal family and I bought there interactions a lot more than in the Shazam sequel.

The superhero stuff was where this film fell down for me, this is an origin story you have all seen before sure not in the context of Blue Beetle but with other superheroes and it just came off to me at least like a knock off Spider-Man. Regular guy gets powers and then finds himself in over his head and having to protect his loved ones, the only difference is a spider bite to a sort of technological symbiote.

The evil villain being some blood thirsty corporate shark/arms dealer was again incredibly cliché, there might have been some supposed commentary in this decision but honestly I just didn’t care about this section of the film at all, and it was pretty clear Susan Sarandon was only there for the money.

Overall, it was okay Jamie and his family worked well and I would like to see more of their world but none of it matters as it will all be cleaned away by the reboot, and yes they said oh Blue Beetle is a part of the new DCU, but after the box office it pulled it is as dead as the dodos.

3.5/5

Pros.

Jamie

His family

The relatability

The humour

Cons.

The superhero stuff is boring

The villain is super weak

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The Dive: The Depths Of The Abyss

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Two sisters, played by Sophie Lowe and Louisa Krause, go on a diving trip and then get stuck deep underwater.

This film did not go where I thought it was going to go, I thought it would follow in the footsteps of other recent survival films and be more action thriller in terms of tone but no, this film really is a drama. Yes there is some thriller aspects with the sisters battling for survival but for the most part it is a deep and quite depressing reflection over the sister’s lives, childhood and bond. It is important to bare this in mind before you go into it as it certainly won’t be everyone’s cup of tea.

Personally, I thought the film worked quite well as an atmospheric drama with the vast emptiness of the sea an apt setting for these weighty themes and ideas. Certainly by setting so much of the film in this incredibly isolating space it really helps to hit home these ideas of loneliness and how the sisters have drifted apart. My point is that the central metaphor of the film works very well.

I thought both Lowe and Krause gave good performances, I would edge it to Lowe as I think she shows the greater range of emotions over the course of the film, but Krause can pull of the intensity her character needs well.

I would say the highlight of the film for me was the ascension scene at the end, as there is a real tension there, you can feel that sense of dread and threat and really do fear that the characters will meet an untimely end through the bends.

Overall, an interesting film that does a lot with themes of isolation and abandonment but one that is perhaps too dark at times and that will put a lot of people off.

3/5

Pros.

Both of the leads

The ending

The themes

Cons.

It is not for everyone

It is at times too depressing

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Mission Impossible Dead Reckoning Part One: It Is The Hobbit All Over Again

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Ethan Hunt, played by Tom Cruise, is back for another go around the sun.

This was disappointing, not majorly hence the score but I just thought it could have been so much more. I think the decision to split the film into two parts was a bad idea and led to this one being far too light. What I mean by that is that if this was a tighter narrative and crucially one film then a lot of what happened would have been much quicker and less drawn out. As it stands there are scenes like the one set in an airport for example, that first introduces us to Hayley Atwell’s character, that just drag on. To be tighter and better these scenes could have been cut in half.

Moreover, whilst I liked the plot of the film and the idea of them facing off against a rogue AI and people from Hunt’s past I thought that the decision to overlook a lot of the franchise’s recurring character’s in favour of Hayley Atwell’s newcomer was a poor decision. Don’t get me wrong Atwell’s new character was fine, but we barely got to see any scenes with Hunt and his side men or find out really what had been going on with them between films. I think the biggest missed opportunity on this front was Ilsa, played by Rebecca Ferguson. We do get some insight into what she had been doing and she is in a sense pivotal to the plot, but I just feel like we barely get any time with her before she is killed off, this very act cost the film a point form me because within the last two films she had been the most interesting character so to see her die midway into the big two part finale was a bad decision.

The action was good and what you would expect, the stunts I would say were a little lacklustre when compared to the previous films in the franchise but again they had written themselves into a corner, there are only so many things they can feasibly do and there has been a lot of these films at this point.

Overall, it sets an interesting tone for going into what I assume to be the final film, however by ignoring its side characters and out and out killing Ilsa the film left me disappointed.

3/5

Pros.

The action

It is serviceable

The plot has a few interesting dimensions and sets up for an interesting finale

Cons.

Ilsa

The pacing is awful

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Wish: Disney Wanted This To Bomb

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Disney fires a massive blast on their side of the culture war, sadly it has blown back on them in a big way.

I went to see this opening day, there were three other people there that is the strength of the Disney brand these days. Anyway, where to begin with this film that made me turn to my girlfriend and go no more Disney animations ever again.

Firstly the plot is beyond simplistic, like really there is no plot beyond an incredibly ham-fisted social message that everyone is special and unique and if life is ever even slightly unfair it is your duty to totally Karen out about it and that only through revolution can anything ever be achieved.

I mean I may be reading it wrong, but personally seeing how two of the only white male characters were evil and how it was the duty of everyone else to punish them it just felt like yet more preaching and like I was being told this film was not for me. If they had made the King look exactly like Donald Trump I would not have been surprised as that as clearly what they were going for, and this might play in America but outside of America audience’s don’t care for their social justice messages. As you all well know, if you have read my reviews for some time, I don’t mind a progressive message at all but when they decide to lecture and force it down the audience’s throat then it becomes clawing quickly.

The songs were not great either, which seems like an easy thing they could have gotten right, the only one that was catchy was Chris Pine’s song about how ungrateful people are. The rest aren’t terrible but they all come off feeling the same which is fine but it doesn’t do anything to sell the film.

I had heard that the ending of the film basically set up a Disney animated films shared universe, and after having seen it I question whether I was lied to. There is some implication of it but I thought it would be clearly shown, that was half of the appeal to me.

One thing I did like about the film that I will give it a half point for was the absurdity with the chickens that was a lot of fun, but sadly that was all the fun on offer in the entire hour and a half ish runtime.

Overall, another lecture from Disney

0.5/5

Pros.

The chickens

Cons

It is preachy

The real world parallel is right there for all to see and it’s irritating

The songs bar one aren’t good

It isn’t fun to watch

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