Doomsday: North Of The Wall Is An Angry Scotsman

Doomsday is a science fiction action film directed by Neil Marshall. The plot imagines a future United Kingdom that has been ravaged by a deadly virus, as a result of this Scotland (the disease’s epicenter) has been sealed off to the rest of the world and left for dead.

Ignoring how close to our own reality some parts of this film are, this was quite a fun time. I enjoyed the Mad Max aesthetic and thought that the world itself was begging to be explored further, I was left wanting to know more about what happened during the films time jump.

I thought it was nice to see a bad ass female action hero in the lead, Eden Sinclair (Rhona Mitra), is very much in the same vein as other early 2000s feminist icons like Selene (Kate Beckinsale), from the Underworld films and Alice (Mila Jovovich), from the Resident Evil films. Eden has a great on- screen presence boosted by great physicality in the performance from Mitra, she is a very believable action hero. However, her character doesn’t have much in the way of a personality which I find to be my only real issue with the real.

The ending is edgy enough to feel satisfactory and leaves the door open for a sequel, should we want to return.

Overall, a fun time if a little troubling due to our current circumstance.

Pros.

Mitra

The premise

The world and the world building

Malcolm McDowell is always a welcome presence

Cons.

Eden might be cool, but she has no personality

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Horizon Line: Running Out Of Fuel

Horizon Line is a thriller film directed by Mikael Marcimain. The plot follows a young will they wont they couple Jackson (Alexander Dreymon) and Sara (Alison Williams), as they become trapped on a plane out at sea after the pilot has a heart attack. Though Sara has rough knowledge of how to fly the plane, the ever-depleting fuel tank and lack of anywhere to land is turning into a nightmare scenario.

I have been waiting for months to see this film, due to the pandemic release dates being shuffled around and I have only just now got a chance to see it. I have to say for the most part it was quite disappointing.

I don’t know if it is because I went in with too high expectations, but most of this film just felt samey. It felt for the most part like yet another generic thriller that we have all seen hundreds of times before.

The acting as well was also very ordinary. This would have been Williams’ film to shine, but she does nothing: most of the film illudes to her character having some emotional baggage or more to her, but no she is just as dull as she appears. I don’t know whether it is Williams’ performance or whether it is the writing, but her character has no charm or personality whatsoever, which makes it hard to root for her and takes tension out of the film.

The only saving grace, was the sequence after they get out of the plane. It was an interesting twist to present us with the character safety to only then moments later take it away. However after this well-done piece of misdirection we then get the tease of a shark attack that never materialises, which I suppose could be put down to the filmmakers trying to subvert our expectations, but really it just felt disappointing again.

Also the sheer convenience of the ending reeks of bad writing.

Pros.

Some of the twists work

Cons.

Other twists don’t work

Williams’ is incredibly bland

It feels familiar yet also inferior

The tension dissipates when you realise that you don’t care about the characters at all

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

Doom: The Rock As You Have Never Seen Him Before

Doom is a science fiction action film directed by Andrzej Bartkowiak, serving as a live action adaptation of the classic video game series of the same name. The plot sees a group of soldiers sent on a rescue mission to mars, however once they arrive they are forced to do battle with genetically engineered monsters.

So, this film is used as the poster child for bad video game to film adaptations, however, after watching it I can see a rough sort of charm to it and I don’t think this film is as bad as it has been made out to be by any means. I remember watching this film when I was young, my parents put it on one Halloween night, and before rewatching it for this review that was my only exposure to the film.

I easily think the best sequence in the film is the first person shoot out rampage towards the end of the film. Not only does it look somewhat like the games, which is nice as a point of homage, but also it is just cool to see first person action Hardcore Henry proved my point without a shadow of a doubt and it remains the case here.

Moreover, the performances from Karl Urban, The Rock and Rosamund Pike are all quite good, will any of them win awards for their roles? No they won’t. Though they are good enough to get you lost in the world of the film and its characters.

Overall, maybe I have a soft spot for this film because I am a fan of the games, but I do think that it is a lot of dumb fun and action movie cheese which makes it enjoyable. It is the best video game adaptation no it is not, but it is a good time.

Pros.

The first-person sequence

The acting though not great is good for a video game movie

The world

The creatures themselves

Cons.

None of it made sense

The effects are laughably bad

It is not really related to the games in anyway

3/5

Reviewed by Luke

His House: Stranger In A Strange Land

His House is a horror film directed by Remi Weekes. The film revolves around a pair of South Sudanese refugees, Rial (Wunmi Mosaku) and Bol (Supe Dirisu), who flee their home for a supposed ‘better’ life in England. However, once they settle into their new lives they soon come to realise that you can’t run from your demons, they just follow you.

This has been in my Netflix que, for quite some time and honestly I am angry with myself for not watching it sooner. It is one of the freshest horror films I have seen in a while and I think it is a must watch.

Firstly, the horror is multi layered, yes you have the supernatural threat, but you also have all this threat coming in from the outside world; the locals are not welcoming to the pair and the whole asylum system seems rigged against them. Unlike something like Get Out wherein you had these layer of horror that were obvious and on the nose, here it feels far more refined and subtle and less slapping you in the face.

The scares are all very well done, I would say that this film is genuinely scary and that is coming from someone who is no stranger to the genre and who likes to think he does not scary easily. I enjoyed again the focus on African folk magic and mythology, it is nice to see a more diverse horror focus and less of the same Christen angles and demons that over populate the genre.

Overall, a real gem make sure you check it out!

Pros.

The multi layered horror

The performances

The focus on African mythology

The scares

The ending

Cons.

None

5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Wallace And Gromit Curse Of The Were Rabbit: Howling At The Moon

Wallace And Gromit Curse Of The Were Rabbit is a British stop motion animation film directed by Nick Park and Steve Box. The plot sees the duo set up a business catching and rehousing rabbits in their local area, protecting everyone’s green. However, one day during a failed science experiment Wallace (Peter Sallis), turns himself into a horrible man rabbit hybrid.

I remember watching this when I was a kid in the cinema, I must have gone at least 3 or 4 times to see it during its run; there is something about this film that places higher in my mind than the over Wallace and Gromit fare and even over other Aardman animations. What I think this something is, is the sense of British horror that is on display here ever so subtly. Throughout the film there are several references and homages to classic British horror films and moments, which a genre die hard like me can see and appreciate; I enjoy the tip of the hat.

I also enjoy the romance between Lady Tottington (Helena Bonham Carter), and Wallace. I thought it was nice and quite wholesome to see this love story play out on screen even if it does lead nowhere. It made me smile.

Overall, my favourite Wallace and Gromit film simply for the references to British horror, a great concept well executed.

Pros.

The horror and the references to horror

Wallace and Lady Tottington

The premise

It is well paced

Cons.

The villain feels familiar and uninspired

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Clue: The Studio Executive Killed Him With A Lack Of Imagination

Clue is a black comedy mystery film directed by Jonathan Lynn, based on the board game of the same name. The plot sees a group of people gather together in a house under mysterious circumstances, once together people start to die one by one, and the surviving members of the party must figure out who the murder is.

So, I am quite the Tim Curry fan, as such I have heard talk of this film and it has been on my watchlist for quite some time. Upon watching it, I find it to be a mixed bag, but I find Curry as enjoyable as ever.

The idea of bringing the concept of a board game into a cinematic medium was always going to be a hard task to accomplish, but this film does give it a try. Sadly, it never manages to nail a tone or approach, sometime it borders on something like the Movie films in terms of silly parody, but then a moment later it will be taking the premise a bit too seriously for that to apply.

The cast are all serviceable, no one is bad, but no one (other than Curry) is good either. Curry has his manic energy especially towards the end of the film when he really lets loose where he is able to shine and effectively steal the film and the limelight. I would say the film would be far lesser without Curry’s involvement.

Overall, trying to adapt a board game into a film was always going to result in failure so I can’t say I am surprised. However, Curry is great.

Pros.

Tim Curry

A few good gags

Cons.

It ages poorly

The tone is inconsistent

Not all the jokes land

2/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Da Vinci Code: Hide Your Bibles

The Da Vinci Code is a mystery thriller film directed by Ron Howard. The plot follows Professor Robert Langdon (Tom Hanks) as he is drawn into a feud between two secrets sects of Christianity that have been around since the times of Christ.

Much like my previous review The Girl In The Spiders Web, this film came out to some fan fare as the book that predates the film is beloved, also much like that film this film struggles to meet those high expectations. I have not read the book but if the film is anything to go on, then it is about 1000 pages too long.

At times this film reminded me somewhat of the Nicolas Cage National Treasure films, though I prefer those. I think this film took itself far too seriously, which is fine as it is not supposed to be a comedy but at the same time some parts of the film were unintentionally hilarious.

Speaking off the Paul Bettany evil monk villain is easily the best part of the film. Yes, this character is hard to take seriously and is hilarious at times for all the wrong reasons, but at the same time he also has quite a few good moments including his final shootout and has a great on-screen presence and threat throughout.

Overall, the biggest issue with this film is that it is one for about an hour too long, as such the pacing is terrible and though the film has some high moments the long tedious stretches drag it down.

Pros.

Bettany

The mystery when it finally gets revealed

The world

Cons.

It is too serious

The hilarity within is unintentional

National Treasure did it better

Hanks is very average

2.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Savage: Hello Darkness My Old Friend

Savage is a crime drama film directed by Sam Kelly. The film follows the story of Damage (Jack Ryan), at three different points in his life as an enforcer for a New Zealand biker gang.

This is not like most of the crime films that you see that regardless of ending, glamorise the life of violence and excess and almost become works of romantic fantasy by the end. No, this is a film about desperate people with nowhere else to turn forced into a cycle of violence as a means of dealing with the abuse they have endured.

As a character study this film is exquisite, we see Damage as so much more than a rough tough biker type and we see why he is the way he is. The film raises a number of interesting philosophical and moral questions as well, which leaves you with plenty to think about once the film is over.

Ryan is terrific in his performance. He plays the character as a deeply troubled man who has turned to violence as a means to fit in and be accepted. The character and the performance are the very definition of the word nuanced, and despite the character doing a lot of deeply unlikeable things Ryan still makes him sympathetic.

Overall, this is a very strong drama film that will break your heart. It is definitely not the typical form of crime film either. Bear in mind that this film is incredibly depressing and should not be watched without having a happy animal video on stand by to cheer you up once the depression sets in after the film.

Pros.

It is powerful

It leaves you with a lot to think about

It deviates from the standard crime drama film

Cons.

It is very bleak

It is often hard to tell what is happening when with the later timelines

3/5

Reviewed by Luke

Bridget Jones, The Edge of Reason: The Horrors Of A Thai Prison

Bridget Jones, The Edge Of Reason is a British romantic comedy film directed by Beeban Kidron, serving as a sequel to The Bridget Jones Diaries. The plot this time around see Bridget (Renee Zellweger), in a happy relationship. Though for one reason or another she suspects her boyfriend Mark (Colin Firth), is cheating on her and they break up and then through a series of comedic misunderstanding and lapses in judgment they end up back together again.

This is by far a lesser film than the first. It is still funny and charming, but not nearly as much as the first film. Also the humour here seems far more intent on laughing at Bridget rather than with her, I noticed quite a mean streak to the humour that I found to be quite off putting.

Moreover, the plot of this film is basically just a rehash of the first. It spends almost 99% of its runtime covering old ground and repeating plot points from the first film; it is almost as though there didn’t need to be a sequel. Right from the off you know where the plot is going and can guess the resolution because you have seen it before, in the previous film.

Also the film was made infinitely worse by bringing back Hugh Grant’s character rather than introducing a new character.

Overall, though there is still some fun moments and enjoyment to be had this is a lesser sequel in almost everyway and pales in the light of the first film.

Pros.

A few funny moments

Zellweger is still very charming in the role

It is cheering

Cons.

It brings nothing new to the table

Hugh Grant should not have come back

The humour seems more mean spirited

It is entirely predictable

2.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Arizona: The Longest Car Ride

Arizona is a dark comedy thriller film directed by Jonathan Watson. The film sees real estate agent Cassie Fowler (Rosemarie DeWitt), and her teenage daughter become caught up in a fight for their lives, after local man Sonny (Danny McBride), has a break and goes on a murderous spree.

This film was a crushing disappointment. I missed it upon first release so when I saw it on Netflix and remembered the trailer I was excited and put it on with high expectations, it did not meet them in anyway; it seems all the best bits where put in the trailer.

So my biggest issue with this film is how damn generic it is, there is nothing new or novel about the concept or its execution you have seen this done before and a lot better too. There are large parts of the film that just feel tedious as you are left begging for something to happen to liven up the scene.

McBride for his part is trying, he tries to make Sonny funny and memorable sadly neither of those things pan out. DeWitt on the other hand is one of the most boring protagonists ever put to film, you don’t care about her at all and that really takes a lot of the tension out of the fight or flight scenes.

Finally, and perhaps worst of all, the humour is not funny. As I often say humour is subjective and dark comedy is even more so, but for me personally this film did not make me laugh once if anything it made me roll my eyes and cringe more often then not: it is painfully unfunny.

Overall, a disappointment.

Pros.

McBride is trying

Cons.

Luke Wilson’s character and all the time spent with him is entirely needless

The lead is charmless

The jokes aren’t funny

The film is boring bordering on tedious, often

1/5

Reviewed by Luke