Paradise Cove: Pull Up Your Floor Boards

Paradise Cove is a thriller film directed by Martin Guigui. The plot sees a builder (Todd Grinnell), and his wife (Mena Suvari), move into a new beach house in Malibu, however, once they settle in they start noticing strange occurrences which are all a result of the crazy homeless lady who lives under their house: who seems none to keen on the new tenants.

So, when I put this on I thought I knew exactly where it was going, but boy was I wrong. This film serves to rewrite a lot of the home invasion sub-genre cliches and attempts to make the sub-genre great again. In that vein the writing is quite smart, and I appreciated that, the usual dumb horror movie mistakes don’t happen and the characters and the situation as a whole play out in a terrifyingly realistic way.

I found the horror of this film to be quite chilling as it could so easily happen in reality. The idea of someone living in your house with you, unbeknownst to you, has happened multiple times over the years and been covered in the news: in that vein it is hard to separate the threat in this film and view it as not real in the same way you would watching something like Halloween (the later ones when Michael gets Superpowers). I don’t know if I would say this film is scary, but it certainly is unsettling.

Overall, this film did what a good thriller/ horror should do and left me feeling unsettled and a little uncomfortable after watching it.

Pros.
It is unsettling

The premise is menacing

It keeps you on edge

The writing is strong and erases cliches

Cons.

The acting by the main couple is very so so

A few pacing issues

3.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Shithead: Getting High By Any Means Necessary

Shithead is a comedy film directed by Mike Morelli. The plot follows Jordan Cantwell (Johnny Smith), a man with a quest: to get as high as humanly possible and meet his favourite face paint rapper. Issue, he can’t get the goods, what’s a guy to do? Well Johnathan sees his girlfriends baby as a good source of drug money, a plan hatches.

I want to open this review by saying, what should be my catchphrase at this point, comedy is subjective it is one of the hardest genres to review and what works for me wont necessarily work for you. That said this film made me laugh.

I was quite lucky to have the chance to see this, and when it came into my inbox I checked it out almost straight away, I am always on the lookout for comedies, but like with horror I seem to have seen all of the good ones at this point.

The premise alone is hilarious, but it really is all in the execution: there are multiple laugh out loud moments in this film that had me in stiches, thinking about them now writing this is making me laugh. When I wasn’t laughing I was smiling, as though the characters are bad people there is still a likeability there.

Smith makes for a good protagonist who has tones of relatability, despite wanting to sell a baby, we have all had a day when we just want to cut loose and go and see our favourite band or artists and have set out on a quest to make that happen.

Overall, one of the funniest films I’ve seen so far in 2021.

Pros.

The premise

It is relatable

The characters are likeable and fun to watch

It is very funny

The ending

Cons.

A few slow moments

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Bliss: Is This The Real World Or Is This Just Fantasy

Bliss is a science fiction drama film directed by Mike Cahill. The plot follows Greg Whittle (Owen Wilson), a man who finds out he is living in a simulation, or is he? Is this the real world? Or is the world beyond ours the real one? Or is it all the by-product of drugs.

This is Owen Wilson’s big come back film, he’s been absent from our screens for far too long and I for one am glad to see him back. He plays the everyman well and is heart-breaking as a father who slips into another world and is forced to question whether everything he knows is real, he doesn’t even know whether his own daughter is real.

This film is confusing, clearly by design, and it never does state which world is the real one, or if there is even two worlds at all, even the final scene of the film is ambiguous. You will only have any decisive opinion of what is actually happening if you read what the creatives say in interviews, as they spell it out.

My one issue with this film is the writing. Now, for the most part the writing is solid and works well, but here and there you see little things that ruin it slightly, this can be seen with character irregularities mainly with Selma Hayek’s character, which make things a bit too obvious and don’t fit with the rest of the film.

Overall, this film will fill you with a sense of existential dread, and stay with you long after it ends, welcome back Mr Wilson.

Pros.

The premise

The ambiguity

Owen Wilson’s comeback

The ending

Cons.

The writing is slightly weak and inconsistent in parts

Reviewed by Luke

4/5

Batman Soul Of The Dragon: Batman Outstays His Welcome

Batman Soul Of The Dragon is an animated superhero film directed by Simon Liu. The plot looks back to Bruce Wayne’s (David Giuntoli), days in training, when he was learning all of his martial arts prowess that would serve him well as the Dark Knight. We see that the mystic institution that Wayne was training at holds a terrible secret, a portal to hell (and or an evil other dimension), that a cult wants to opening.

This didn’t really feel like a Batman film, it felt like an animated martial arts movie and that is a good or bad statement depending on which of those you would rather watch. Personally, I went into it hoping for some top tier Batman content and was disappointed, this was not what I was expecting, and Batman was not really the main focus, rather it was Richard Dragon (Mark Dacascos), a figure from Wayne’s past.

However that is not to say it was bad either. I enjoyed the martial arts elements and the supernatural mysticism, I thought both were done well and really added to the project as a whole. The fight scenes were particularly impressive, and I am glad they did not censor the violence in anyway, it added a nice visceral edge to it.
I also thought the ending, which I won’t spoil here, was quite gutsy as it ended on a cliff hanger rather than neatly wrapping everything up.

Overall, I think there is a lot of good here, I think that it should have been its own standalone animated film that didn’t include Batman, it was strong enough to stand on its own. By having the Batman name front and centre it takes away from what the film is, as you go in with certain expectations that aren’t met, which is a shame as it is good otherwise.

Pros.

The ending

The fight scenes

Nice gory violence

The mysticism

Cons.

Batman should not be involved

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

San Andreas: Aggressive CPR

San Andreas is a disaster film directed by Brad Peyton. The plot follows a helicopter rescue pilot (Dwyane Johnson), as he must race to save his family from the fallout of a major earthquake.

I missed this in the cinema, and it has been on my watchlist for a long time. Generally, I am disappointed and frankly bored by disaster films, they are always the same thing repeated, but I had heard good things about this one so I decided to finally watch it, and though I would struggle to call it a good film it is far more entertaining than a lot of other genre fare.

I mean lets face it you aren’t watching this for the plot, yes I see you there. You are watching it for the spectacle and for the soothing effect of having your mind numbed for about 2 hours, as people manage to stay perfectly made up whilst dodging falling bits of buildings. The plot is an afterthought.

The narrative was nothing new at all, you and I have both seen this exact same plot play out time and time again over the years. I do genuinely believe the watchability of this film comes down to one simple factor, Dwayne Johnson’s insane levels of charm and charisma. If any other actor was in the lead role then it would not even be worth watching it would be boring, but the Rock manages to keep you engaged throughout; he is the perfect action star.

Overall, watch this if you have anything better to do or don’t want to be challenged in anyway and just want to watch the Rock smash things, (though if you want that watch Rampage instead it is a better film).

Pros.

The spectacle

The Rocks immense charm

Cons.

It is dumb

It is cliched

The ending is deeply unbelievable

2/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Family Fang: And You Thought Your Family Was Messed Up

The Family Fang is a comedy drama film directed by Jason Bateman. The plot follows the dysfunctional Fang Family as they are forced back together again, causing old issues to be readdressed. The parents of the family are performance artists who forced their children into a number of uncomfortable and awkward situations in service of their art and that has led to a hate-filled rift between the parents and the children. It is based on the novel of the same name by David Linday-Abaire.

This is Bateman’s second direction effort, he also co stars alongside Nicole Kidman, and it marks a very noticeable shift in his direction sensibilities. If you look at Bateman’s first effort Bad Words it is certainly an off colour, off key comedy film that feature dramatic elements, however it is still a comedy film first. Whereas this film is very much a drama film, with a few moments of darkly humorous relief, following this through into Ozarks you can see how Bateman is moving further and further away from traditional comedy, and is instead pushing into much darker territory.

It is with that in mind, that I advise you not to watch this film as a comedy film as that is a miscategorisation, but to understand and watch this film for the drama film it is. As a drama film this film is sublime, it examines parents and children and how the two are intertwined. Should everyone and anyone be a parent? When does it become self-serving? What can a parent do to a child and then ask for forgiveness for?

The performances from Bateman, Kidman and Christopher Walken are all terrific, they perfectly capture different elements of the broken family paradigm and reflect them outwardly. Walken particularly shines here as an antagonist, his character scenes with the kids are both heart-breaking and infuriating and strongly performed.

I find myself being reminded of Captain Fantastic

Overall, a very strong drama film miscategorised.

Pros.

The performances

The concept

The examination of the effects of parenting

Cons.

It is poorly paced

The ending doesn’t feel as satisfying as I would like

3.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

South Park Bigger Longer Uncut: Singing Songs Of Madness

South Park Bigger Longer And Uncut is an animated musical film directed by Trey Parker. The plot sees the boys become caught up in a war between the parents of South Park and the Canadian Government after the kids see the new Terrance and Phillip (Matt Stone and Trey Parker). movie and it starts to influence and impact their behaviour. There is also a subplot about Satan (Parker), and Saddam Hussain (Stone), trying to take over the world.

I am a big South Park fan and have been for a while, however, I hadn’t seen this movie before and I pretty much forget it existed, but then the other day I was scrolling through Prime and saw it and thought I would put it on and give it a go, I had mixed reactions.

Usually when adult animated shows do songs they are good, there have been many hits (at least for me), from a number of different shows including Family Guy and American Dad, South Park too has had a number of funny songs over the years, this film sadly took this and then over did it to a point of killing it. Much like in the worst kind of musicals, there was a song every few minutes in this film, most of the time the song wouldn’t even be funny it would just be explaining what was going on on-screen, which feels lazy, and felt crammed in for the sake of it. It became irritating after a while.

The comedy is strong here though and that does redeem the film somewhat, in the non-singing moments there are a number of jokes that made me laugh out loud and a few that made me chuckle. I wanted more of these and less constant repetitive songs.

Overall, making this film a musical rather than just an extended episode not only handicapped it, it killed it.

Pros

A few funny jokes

An interesting premise

Cons.

It does not justify its existences

The songs are annoying

The ending feel cheap and unearned

The multi-episode storylines of later seasons are infinitely better

2/5

Reviewed by Luke

Star Wars The Rise Of Skywalker: This Is Going To Be A Long One

Star War The Rise Of Skywalker is an epic science fiction film directed by JJ Abrams. The plot ends the Skywalker saga that has been set up by the previous films and sees the final showdown between the light side of the force and the dark side.

Where to begin with this film? Is it terrible? No. Is it in any way good? No as well. There are so many things to unpack with this film, this might be a long one.

So firstly, the opening fight scene where Kylo Ren (Adam Driver), is slicing through rebels with ease and it looks awful. The choreography of this scene is clearly supposed to make Ren look scary and powerful; however it was somewhere around the moon walk stab that I laughed out loud; it does not open the film on a good note.

Secondly, when the final order is raised, it does not look impressive rather it looks cheap and it looks as thought they had skipped out on getting good visual effects. This is recurring through the film; this is not a one-off issue.

Thirdly, the humour there is something really particularly bad about the humour. Now, I am not saying every film needs to be direly serious, but it would have been better here than what we got. This film even more so then The Last Jedi is trying and failing to replicate the MCU. We have a deadly serious scene with franchise spanning implications and then before any of the emotional impact can register bam we get a quippy joke, it is irritating.

Before I get to my final issues with this film I just want to talk about a few things this film got right.

I enjoyed some of the new characters this film set up, even if they were severely underdeveloped, I would like to see some of them come back in future films/ Disney Plus series, there is potential there.

Personally, I thought the only moment of this film that actually worked was the final battle and even then all the stuff about Rey’s (Daisy Riddley), origins ruined it a bit. The final desperate fight in this film was the only thing that actually felt like Star Wars to me, having the Rebels effectively facing extinction and then just when all seemed lost help arrived- this was a cheer worthy moment, the only one of the film.

Now my two major issues with the film. Nearly all of the interesting characters from the previous films were blatantly ignored or reduced in favourite of focusing on Rey and Kylo Ren, and whilst I can understand that both of them are popular characters it just feels like a huge missed opportunity, poor writing and a slap in the face. Moreover, the reveal of Rey taking the Skywalker name at the end of the film did not make me cheer, it did not elicit any kind of positive emotion in me rather it made me cringe… and that was how the film ended, on a cringe.

Overall, this film single handed dealt more damage to the Star Wars brand than anything else in it’s history, at least The Last Jedi had guts.

Pros.

The one cheer worthy moment

A few cool new characters

Cons.

Doing nothing with most of the characters

The cheapness and the cringe

The bad and poorly done fight scenes

The eye rolling moments

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

Bloody Hell: Don’t Try And Be A Hero, It Is Not Worth 8 Years

Bloody Hell is an action horror film directed by Alister Grierson. The plot sees Rex (Ben O’Toole), attempt to stop an armed robbery in his attempt an innocent women is killed, and he is sent to prison. When he is released from prison some view him as a hero others a monster, anyway his new found celebrity status proves too much for Rex, so he gets on a plane heading to Finland hoping to leave all his craziness behind: then he gets kidnapped by a family of cannibals.

I enjoyed this film more than I thought I would, and I have found over the days since I watched it, it has returned to my thoughts quite a few times. The greatest issue with this film is that the opening of the film, Rex getting to Finland is incredibly slow, however, once he gets captured things get much more interesting.

This film does a lot with a little, and even though only one or two locations are used, and the set pieces are not that elaborate or fancy, they still feel suitably tense and nerve-wracking. You are filled with dread hoping that Rex will be able to slip out of his restraints before the cannibals come to finish him off. Likewise in the final fight scene despite it being relatively small scale we are treated to a gore feast that is one of the best you way ever see.

My favourite thing about this film is its use of inner monologues, Rex talks to himself, no more than that he has full on conversations with another version of himself. I think both Rexs have great chemistry with the other and the banter between the two never leaves you wanting.

Overall, a strong B movie that makes the most out of what it has and has one of the best final brawls in recent memory.

Pros.

The ending fight

The final joke

Rex’s conversations with himself

The tension

Cons.

The opening is painfully slow.

3.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Short Term 12: Give Brie Larson An Oscar!

Short Term 12 is a drama film directed by Destin Daniel Cretton. The film follows the life of Grace Howard (Brie Larson), a troubled adult who supervises at a home for troubled teens.

I have to say before I watched this film I was not on the Brie Larson bandwagon; I had yet to see that one performance by her that was going to convert me, I had seen her disastrous pr efforts and her meh turn as Captain Marvel in the MCU neither of which impressed me. I liked her in Free Fire, Scott Pilgrim and Kong Skull Island but I was still unconvinced. However, all that changed when I saw this film and now I am 100% on board the bandwagon.

There are a lot of great performances in this film, we get to see hints at future potential from Lakeith Stanfield and Kaitlyn Dever, as well as a great turn from John Gallagher Jr. in the male lead, but this is Larson’s film through and through. Larson sells every minute she is on screen with such an emotional intensity that you can’t help but be drawn in. I thought the struggle her character goes through, and the later reveals as to the motivation behind that, is incredibly moving and manically depressing. I think the conversation this character arc raises however is ultimately uplifting, positive and needed as it shows there is hope.

Overall, this is an incredibly emotionally impactful film and it is a model for how scripts should be written, close to perfect.

Pros.

Brie Larson

It has both humour and heart

The journey

The conversation around surviving abuse

The ending and the hope it brings

Cons.

It can be upsetting and deeply depressing at times

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke