Hit Record: Everyone Wants To Be Famous

Written by Luke Barnes

Hit Record is a comedy mockumentary film directed by Ethan Cvitanic. The plot sees aspiring pop star Shug Cherney (Shug Cvitanic), agree to take part in a documentary in hopes of boosting her fame.

This might be the perfect mockumentary for these modern times. Every other weeks there is another big documentary about a famous singer releasing on one steaming platform or another, we’ve had Taylor Swift, we’ve had Billie Eilish, but were they went wrong is that they took the documentary formatting too seriously and didn’t have fun with it.

Therefore it is quite refreshing to see a mockumentary come out, that is having fun with it, and is poking a little bit of fun at these other films expense. This film reminded me of the sort of thing that would play on MTV in the late 90s early 00’s, which I would later see on repeat years later and it would form a part of my young adolescent brain- and I mean that as a compliment.

The thing I like most of all about this film is that it is just fun, that’s all. It is not trying to teach me something, it is not trying to make me think about the world or an issue, it is just trying to entertain me, and it does that well.

I would say I was laughing a good 80% of time, and when I wasn’t I was smiling, so as far as comedy films go this film is on top form.

Overall, a terrific mockumentary film that provides solid entertainment value and sits nicely next to films like Pop Star.

Pros.

A lot of fun

It’s funny

Strong commentary

That MTV late 90s appeal

Cons.

The characters are a little thin

4.5/5

Spontaneous: Exploding Into Red Goo

Written by Luke Barnes

Spontaneous is a science fiction romantic black comedy film directed by Brian Duffield. The plot sees two teens (Katherine Langford & Charlie Plummer), fall in love as a mysterious virus is spreading between themselves and their peers that causes one to spontaneously explode.

Much like Love and Monsters this film has a huge heart. The emotional stakes for this film are damn near perfect, you become really quite invested in their relationship, and my my how you are played with thereafter.

Langford and Plummer have strong chemistry, and make for a believable on screen couple, also where other films fail to capture the snarky teen well, or make it incredibly cringe worthy, this film manages actually do it justice. I think the, lets call it teen dialogue, of this film was quite on point and made me laugh several times with its wit.

I am careful to say too much about the film for fear of spoiling it, but I will say this: be prepared for a ride on an emotional roller-coaster

Finally, I just want to spotlight the premise itself which is surprisingly hilarious in a dark macabre sort of way- it makes you laugh and then feel very bad for laughing

Overall, a wonderfully original film and a touching romance.

Pros.

The leads have good chemistry

It is funny

The premise is novel

Good emotional stakes that make you invest

Cons.

It really does an number on your emotions

4.5/5

Locked Down: Has Lockdown Boredom Lead You To Get Into A Police Chase Just For The Hell Of It.

Reviewed by Luke Barnes

Locked Down is a comedy drama heist film directed by Doug Liman. The plot follows a recently separated couple as they are forced to spend lockdown together, eventually the two get wrapped up in a heist that could change their lives forever.

I have been aware of this film for quite a while, but I have never really felt the urge to watch it… That should be indicative as to where this review is going. Personally, I am of two minds as to whether films about the pandemic should be made, seeing as we are still living in one- is it too soon? When does it become bad taste?

Having now watched it, I can say it is very ‘meh’. I don’t feel in any way enriched for having seen it, it left my mind immediately. That said it is entertaining enough and is not a bad film.

The way the film tries to portray the lived reality of lockdown is very Hollywood-ized, they are supposed to be regular people, but I don’t know any who has gone for a motor bike race with the police as a means of finding something to do with themselves during the lockdown, though hey maybe I don’t know ‘cool’ people.

The lead performances from Hathaway and Ejiofor, are both good and do anchor the film in something watchable, but even they can’t liven the film up and struggle against an all too familiar script.

Overall, maybe it is too soon for lockdown films.

Pros.

The performances

It is watchable

Cons.

It is too soon for films about lockdown

The script is weak

The cameos are weak and don’t add anything

2/5.

Fyre: People Have Too Much Money

Reviewed by Luke Barnes

Fyre is a documentary film directed by Chris Smith. Of the two Fyre Festival documentaries out there this is the Netflix one, which seems to be the more well praised of the two. The documentary tells the story of the infamous Fyre Festival, a musical festival on a private island that ended up tricking influencers and other minor celebrities out of millions. The film analyses the days leading up to the inevitable disasters and tries to explain who was responsible.

My, my, the things people spend money on. Some people can afford 800,000 wrist bands for exclusive private festivals while others have to choose between heat and food, what a world.

So, this is a fun documentary to watch, yes it would be sad for the people who fell pray to the scam, but to those watching at home it is a nice trashy documentary to sink our teeth into. Much like junk food we know this has no artists value, but we consume it to take a little bit of joy out of watching these entitled influencer arseholes get dicked over, no? Just me?

I appreciated that the film had talking head guests who were actually there and involved, it allowed it to feel believable and trust worthy and though they might have some bias at least they have first hand knowledge and aren’t ‘web sleuths’. I also appreciated that though there have been developments since, this film tried to package everything together into one ultimate Fyre Festival narrative.

Overall, a nice bit of documentary junk food.

Pros.

A fun watch

Sustaining junk food

Interesting and somewhat reliable talking heads

A complete story, for the most part

Cons.

It has no artistic value

4/5

Friendsgiving: Malin Akerman The New Queen Of Comedy

Friendsgiving is a comedy film directed by Nicol Paone. The film sees a recently single mum (Malin Akerman), settle in to host a family thanksgiving with just her, her son and her best friend who is more like her sister (Kat Dennings), however, as the day goes on more and more people get invited and gradually the occasion spirals out of control.

I have been enjoying Akerman comedy film output recently, between this, Chick Fight and a few others Akerman is really finding a nice niche for herself. I think this film has a good emotional centre, the traumas of Akerman’s characters divorce and Denning’s character pursuit of a new girlfriend make for interesting journeys to observe and they are finished with a satisfying emotional pay off.

I wouldn’t say this film is hugely funny, it made me laugh a few times, but I would say it is more of a smile inducing feel-good film that anything else. The central performances from Dennings and Akerman are both strong, this might be my favourite Kat Dennings performance yet. I also enjoyed the cameos and supporting work from a slew of other famous faces that all have their respective moments to shine.

Overall, though this film won’t set the world on fire it is a nice feel good comedy film that will put a smile on your face on a long winter night.

Pros.

Akerman

Dennings

Surprisingly insightful

Infectious smiling

Cons.

The jokes mostly don’t land/ the comedic writing is weak

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Mechanic Resurrection: The Most Pervy and Exploitative Film Of 2016

Written by Luke Barnes

Mechanic Resurrection is an action thriller film directed by Dennis Gansel. The plot follows Arthur Bishop (Jason Statham), a very effective assassin who gets roped into pulling of a series of puzzling murders, after someone from his past kidnaps his girlfriend (Jessica Alba). Apparently this is a sequel to the 2011 film The Mechanic though I wasn’t aware of that until I started writing this review.

From that brief description of the plot you can see how this film is furthering the sexist damsel in distress stereotypes but hold on dear reader- it is far worse than that. Not only does this film want to carry on old cliches and stereotypes, it also takes every opportunity, and I do mean every, to ogle Alba’s body. This film seems averse to Alba wearing many clothes at all and frequently objectifies her, including in quite a icky sex scene; honestly after watching this film you need to take a shower.

The film is made better than some other subpar, Statham flicks by the fact that it is mostly played for laugh, or at least that is how I took it, and it never tries to be too serious. Though this does not translate over into Statham’s performances and he plays the role deadly serious, without even a hint of charm in the entire film.
Overall: I guess my takeaway from this film is that the days of Statham being in good action films like the Transporter series, or Crank are long over, and now he seems content to just make mediocre, sexist action fare and collect a pay check.

Pros.

The film doesn’t take itself too seriously

The dumb and over the top kills

Cons.

Statham plays it far too serious and has no charm

The way they treat Alba’s character throughout

Everything to do with Tommy Lee Jones’ supporting role

2/5

Beyond The Gates: If You Find A Random Video Tape Throw It Away!

Beyond The Gates is a horror film directed by Jackson Stewart. The plot serves to homage classic 90s genre films and has two brother (Graham Skipper and Chase Williamson, respectively), beginning playing a supernatural board game that has very real-world consequences and threatens to endanger their lives.

This film was a lot of fun, I enjoyed its wink and a nod tone and thought that it was a perfect retro throwback. However, it was also far more than that, I also thought that the premise was quite inspired, it was like a hellish version of Jumanji but with less time spent in the other world, I am surprised I have not seen this done before, but I haven’t, and it felt fresh to me.

Skipper, Williamson and Margot McKenzie who make up the main trio all do solid work and sell the scares. I thought the shotgun scene was particularly well done on the part of Skipper and Williamson, they both seemed genuinely scared, like they weren’t acting, and that allowed me to become more emotionally invested in the scene as a result.

Finally, I would be remiss if I did not talk about horror veteran Barbara Crampton who is also in this film. She plays the guide of the game, a figure who can communicate between worlds, and she is just as magnificent as you would expect and does a lot with a minimal amount of screen time.

Overall, an unexpected treat.

Pros.

Crampton

The leads

The horror

The retro throwback feeling

Cons.

It is a little slow to start

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Moxie: Inclusive, Until It Isn’t

Written by Luke Barnes

Moxie is a comedy, coming of age film directed by Amy Poehler. The film sees high school student Vivian (Hadley Robinson), become bored with the sexist statis quo of her highschool and with a little punk rock guidance from her mum (played by Poehler), decides to bring about a feminist revolution at her school. It is based on the book of the same name by Jennifer Mathieu.

I am not going to lie; this one was hard to get through. When I heard the early in the film line of why should we care about The Great Gatsby “it was written by an old white dude, about an old white dude”, I cringed so hard I turned the film off. However, as I intended to review it I put it back on later; also whilst I have you I just want to say it is heavily debated that F. Scott Fitzgerald did not in fact write The Great Gatsby, with some believing it to be the work of his wife Zelda- so yeah.

That one line speaks for the entire tone of the film. I applaud the ideas on display here, the film does make some solid points, but it also beats you over the head with them again and again and takes any of the fun out of the film, instead making it feel like a lecture. Feminist ideas have been conveyed in tons of films, in a more accessible and lets face it better written way, Booksmart and Misbehaviour both come to mind, but much like the comedy films of Will Ferrell this film thinks loud and brash is the way forward.

Overall, I will be blunt this film is deeply contrived in the writing department. The cringe factor gets unbearable as the film goes on. Which is sad because if you turn off the holier than thou politics for a second, there is actually quite a wholesome coming of age story buried somewhere deep down. The struggles that Vivian and her friends go through, are very familiar to anyone who has ever been outcasted before or made to feel lesser, this film could have been a rallying moment for the outsider a moment to seize your power and reclaim your life. However, in its incredibly over the top efforts to seem inclusive, it ignores and excludes others who might feel the same.

It’s ironic.

Pros.

Hadley Robinson is a strong newcomer

Poehler has a few funny jokes and honestly this film could probably do with more of her as she is the best thing about it (in an acting sense, to be stressed).

An important message of empowerment

Cons.

Ignoring others who might feel left out and excluded from the awful highschool experience

Focusing far, far too much on politics

Forcing its message down your throat, rather than trying to actually handle it in a meaningful way

Some of the cringiest dialogue I have ever heard in my life.

1.5/5

Raya And The Last Dragon: A Win For Kelly Marie Tran, A Loss For Everyone Else

Written by Luke Barnes

Raya And The Last Dragon is an animated action adventure fantasy film directed by Don Hall and Carlos Lopez Estrada. We follow Raya (Kelly Marie Tran), a warrior who sets out to collect all the pieces of the dragon gem, to save the world from a dark evil.

So before I get into this review, I just want to say how nice it is to see Kelly Marie Tran come out swinging like this after all the hate she endured online, it is truly inspiring.

I enjoyed the premise and thought the story was a neat idea, it was original yet also a little familiar.

However, sadly that is where my praise for this film ends. I did not hate this film, but I did think it was very, very generic.

So firstly, none of the characters feel likeable- they just don’t click. They all have their moments here and there across the course of the film, but these aren’t enough and the second the film ends you forget all about it and its character’s none of them leave an impact on you.

Likewise the emotional heart of this film feels very hollow. The two big driving forces in terms of the heart of the film, are Raya being able to revive her dad and Raya’s rivalry with her arch enemy Nammari (Gemma Chan), both of these plot threads are resolved, but the payoff leaves you feeling cold and unmoved. Disney animation needs to take a few cues from Pixar to fix this.

Another fault of the film comes with ancient dragon Sisu (Awkwafina), who is the comedic side kick of Raya for most of the film. The issue with Sisu is that the narrative builds her and other dragons up to being these immensely powerful beings and yet they don’t show the dragons doing anything to justify this reputation. Moreover, Awkwafina is not funny in the role and doesn’t not nail the performance, her character feels like it is trying to be Eddie Murphy’s Mushu and Robin Williams’ The Genie, all at the same time and yet doesn’t bring the charm of either.

Overall, this is very watchable and is fine fare for families just looking for something easy to watch. However, I would not say it is worth the price point, as the film itself is deeply average. Wait till June.

Pros.

Kelly Marie Tran gives a good performance

The lore and the world is interesting

Cons.

The emotion doesn’t stick

Awkwafina is badly miscast

It is very safe and predicatable

2.5/5

Nest Of Vampires: Sucking Blood In The UK

Nest Of Vampires is a British action horror film directed by Chris Sanders. The plot sees an MI5 officer become wrapped up in the affairs of a vampiric cult after trying to find the people responsible for the death of his wife and the disappearance of his daughter.

There is something of an early Neil Marshall here, still rough but full of promise.

I enjoy British horror quite a lot, not knocking anywhere else’s horror, but there has always been something special to me about homegrown horror; there is just a certain edge to it that I haven’t seen elsewhere. The last Marshal comparison I will make today, in Dog Soldiers you can see what I mean about this edge, the dark countryside area, the rough practical effects, the gore- there is just something to it.

That is very much the case here as well, there is a grime to it all- I think that is the best word for that special British something that I am talking about. The grime makes everything just pop that little bit more. The violence stands out and becomes even more visceral, and the characters and the world feel real and lived in.

I enjoyed the plot of the film for the most part, there were a few pacing issues here and there, but I thought it worked well and I have not seen a vampire film like this in a while and it had almost a retro like appeal to it that I enjoyed.

I thought the horror of the film was strong, I wouldn’t call it scary rather oppressive as the action elements often stop there from being jump scares and that sort of thing. However, I do think the action and the horror work well together to create almost a dark fantasy film, which again is an under represented genre in current cinema.

Overall, a very entertaining watch, more so perhaps if you are already a fan of British horror cinema.

Pros.

That special something

The action

The horror elements

A strong villain

Cons.

A few light pacing problems

The lead could do with more development

4/5

Reviewed by Luke