Beware The Slenderman: A Look Into The Dark Heart Of The Internet

Written by Luke Barnes

Beware The Slenderman is a documentary directed by Irene Taylor, centring around the internet creepypasta figure of Slenderman, and the real world nightmare that saw two young girls stab one of their classmates multiple times in an effort to appease the fictional being.

I remember when I was a teen and Slenderman was all the rage, it was a huge moment in internet folklore history. I think the idea of a shared communal myth is so fascinating, and that is really what Slenderman is, an idea added to over and over again and turned into something much bigger than it began as.

This documentary is very bleak, but you knew that coming in. Tragic is the word I would use to describe the events that this documentary highlights, it raises questions around how does the content we view affect us on a psychological level and, where is parental accountability when it comes to policing what your kid watches and doesn’t watch?

I think the documentary does quite a good job in explaining what Slenderman is, they also have folklore experts as talking heads to talk about the idea of building and creating myth which I think is a truly strong choice in this regard.

I think using the girl’s families as talking heads to explain the events that transpired is both a pro and a con, it is a con in that there will inevitably be a degree of bias there especially when it is parent child as it is here, however, it is also a pro as it allows us to have a uniquely personal view into the incident.

Overall, a strong documentary that raises a number of good points and provides a thorough and well thought out investigation into internet urban legends.

Pros.

The personal access to the case

A good explanation of Slenderman and the internet urban legend

A number of thought provoking questions are raised

A solid pace throughout

Cons.

Bias creeps in

4/5

Bend It Like Beckham: David Beckham Really Is In Every Film

Written by Luke Barnes

Bend It Like Beckham is a sport coming of age comedy film directed by Gurinder Chadha. The plot sees Jess (Parminder Nagra), try to pursue a career in football despite her parents wishes.

I enjoyed this films depiction of ‘football mad England’, its approach is far more subtle and thoughtful than films like Football Factories or Green Streets would have you believe. I thought Jess as a character was very easy to warm to, and also very relatable. We could see the identity crisis she was facing, and we sympathise as the character almost becomes like a friend to us over the course of the film.

I thought the ending of the film were she gets to go and become a professional footballer in America is heart warming and just the right amount of feel good resolution that makes you think ‘hey maybe things will be okay’.

My main issue with the film would be that the central romance between Joe (Johnathan Rhys Meyers), and Jess is troublesome on several levels. Firstly, the love triangle between Jess, Jules (Keira Knightly), and Joe feels a bit too male fantasy, and secondly because he is the coach of the team and both of his female love interests are players on the team, meaning the power dynamic is icky.

A bigger question not just for this film, but also applicable more generally, was a romance plot line actually needed at all?

Overall, a feel good film on the surface but troublesome underneath.

Pros.

Nagra

Knightley

The ending

Cons.

The romance plot line

Some of the wider messages

2.5/5

The Mauritanian: Deeply Uncomfortable, But Needed Viewing

Written by Luke Barnes

The Mauritanian is a drama film directed by Kevin MacDonald. The film serves as an adaption of the Guantanamo Diaries by Mohamedou Ould Salahi, with the plot recounting the experiences of Salahi as he was detained by the United States Government, without a charge, for 16 years in Guantanamo Bay.

This is a powerful film. Tahar Rahim’s central performance is simply magnificent; it is no wonder that it is receiving so much awards attention. Rahim plays the character in a very human way, and that is fundamental to the film. We see the torture he endures, and it makes for very uncomfortable viewing but also very needed viewing, as it causes us to rethink our society and see where we are going wrong.

Jodie Foster has a supporting turn as Salahi’s Lawyer who spends the film fighting for his release and gives almost as good a performance as Rahim, but not quite. Foster commands the screen and makes for some very memorable scenes. The acting across the board in this film is great.

My one complaint of this film is that it is a little overly long, about 80% of this film is vital and is must watch, however there are a few scenes that run too long, or could have done with being cut out to make the film tighter.

Overall, a magnificent film that makes you rethink the world and that proves Rahim as a name to watch out for on the big screen for years to come.

Pros

Rahim

Foster

Showing the torture and doing it in an impactful way that provokes a strong response#

Recontextualising history

Cons.

A few pacing issues

4.5/5

Slaxx: Skinny Jeans Really Will Be The Death Of You

Written by Luke Barnes

Slaxx is a horror comedy film directed Elza Kephart. The plot sees the workers of a fashion store come under attack when a possessed pair of jeans goes on a murderous rampage.

This is one of the best surprises I’ve had recently. Though this film’s premise sounds absurd it is actually surprisingly well executed, and actually quite thoughtful as well. The backstory of how the jeans came to be possessed, and yes there is a significant backstory put in place for this, which I won’t spoil as this is a fairly new film is actually inspired and has a spot on message behind it.

The jean kills, are hilarious in the best way. A few made me laugh out loud, and the rest made me chuckle, they are so comically over the top and gory it is perfect. The unique nature of watching a pair of jeans kill someone is something that really hasn’t been covered much in the horror genre and this film makes up for that in a big way.

The acting is serviceable, and they manage to sell the serious threat of the possessed jeans rather than breaking down laughing so I will give them props for that.

Overall, a hilariously silly horror comedy film that you should definitely check out.

Pros.

The hilarious premise

A surprisingly deep backstory for the jeans

The jean kills

The gore

Cons.

The characters are a bit thin

4.5/5

Confessions Of A Haunting: Passing On

Written by Luke Barnes

Confessions of a Haunting is a horror, drama short film directed by Andre J.D Robinson. The plot sees a woman (Julie Mainville) talk into an online confessional about a recent loss she has suffered in her family, as she does a voice can be heard talking back- presumably a voice from the other-side.

I will never cease to be surprised by the wonders filmmakers are achieving during lockdown. Though the premise and set up of this film are quite simple, they are used to great effect, both in terms of horror and drama.

On the drama side of things, the monologue delivered by Mainville is deeply personal and touching. We have all lost someone in our lives, or most at least, and can relate to what she is going through. The dialogue manages to become affecting and have an emotional impact which is always a positive sign.

In terms of horror, when we first hear the voice from the other-side it is shocking, because as you approach the midpoint you think that the short will be about this person coming to terms with their loss and that the horror on display will be emotional. However, when it does take a supernatural turn it is surprising and unnerving and you being to question what is happening.

Overall, a sad and creepy affair that is made as strong as it is by the writing.

Pros.

It is well written

It makes you feel something

The supernatural turn is unexpected

Mainville

Cons.

Could do with further expansion, maybe a few extra minutes

4/5

Tom And Jerry: Cat On A Hot Hotel Roof

Written by Luke Barnes

Tom And Jerry is a live action hybrid animation film directed by Tim Story. The film serves to bring back the classic cartoon duo, but now in the real world fighting over hotel rooms. Yes, that’s right.

So before, I get into this I just want to acknowledge that this film is aimed at kids, you can tell it is in several ways such as the constant references to youth culture (that feel very much hello there fellow kids), and just the whole vibe of the film, and that’s fine maybe kids would enjoy the mindlessness of it, but anyone else would be a much harder sell.

I did not think that this film was bad, nor did I think it was good, if anything I thought that it was painfully average to the point of being a bit boring. If you compare the spectacle of the old cartoons, and the escalating fight scenes that Tom and Jerry used to have this film feels even tamer. The best sequence would probably be when Tom is trying to get into Jerry’s room for the very first time and things escalate to them wrecking the room, but even then it feels basic.

Perhaps most damning of all is that I actually preferred the human characters to Tom and Jerry. Chloe Grace Mortez as Kayla was a lot of fun and had quite a few great moments: I hope Mortez hitches her wagon to this franchise and appears in any sequels going forward, as she has a good emotional rapport with the characters which is hard to establish as they don’t talk- yet she finds a way. Likewise Michael Pena is entertaining as the film’s villain Terrence, though Pena gets stuck with most of the hello fellow kids dialogue he also manages to have a few funny moments, and actually makes the film bearable.

Overall, if you need something to show your kids that’s bland, stick them in front of Raya and the Last Dragon (which is actually better than this), but if you don’t want to pay for premium access on Disney + then I guess this will do. Though don’t try and watch this if you are over the age of 10 as it might put you to sleep.

Pros.

Mortez

Pena

Cons.

The cartoon was better

This feels overly tame

The soundtrack is distracting

It is mind-numbing

2/5

Zack Snyder’s Justice League: The Day Is Finally Upon Us

Written by Luke Barnes

The Snydercut or as it is sometimes more formally known Zack Snyder’s Justice League is a superhero film directed by Zack Snyder, serving as a remastered cut of the 2017 Justice League film that Snyder had to step away from due to personal reasons. The plot focuses on the formation of the Justice League in an attempt to fight off the invading forces of Steppenwolf (Ciaran Hinds) and Darkseid (Ray Porter).

So as many of you know, I have thought for a long time that this film was going to be bad, or at the very least unnecessary. However, I can admit when I am wrong and am pleased to tell you this film is a vast improvement over what we got in cinemas 4 years ago: now I am not saying it is perfect, but I am saying it is a marked improvement, buckle up this is going to be a long one.

Firstly I want to address something that for me was a glaring issue with the film and that is the overly sexualised nature of the female characters. Sorry Snyder fans this is going to upset you, but there is a recurring theme in Snyder’s work of ogling women and that is very much here as well. Wonder Woman’s (Gal Gadot) skirt seems shorter, the Amazonians are basically just wearing fancy metal underwear in some cases with their midriff fully exposed, because that is wise in battle? Iris West (Keirsey Clemons)is included just as a plot device and a damsel to be saved by Barry (Ezra Miller), and of course I would be remiss if I did not mention the camera’s fascination with Gadot’s behind.

Though Cyborg (Ray Fisher), is given more to do, his look and crucially the CGI aspects of it are still quite a ways off and are distracting throughout the film, if they could remove the light in his forehead it would look infinitely better. The same can be said of Steppenwolf the other major CGI character who looks like he has come straight out of a videogame and is again distracting.

The film does benefit from better pacing with the 4 hour runtime allowing the film to feel grander and more epic. I feel that by stretching the film out more a lot of things that didn’t make sense the first time around through lack of context suddenly do, and the world as a whole feels better explored and created.

Oddly enough despite the sexualisation Snyder seems to understand Wonder Woman better than Patty Jenkins, and after watching this I think the reason the first Wonder Woman film was so good and the second was so bad was Snyder’s involvement. Snyder gives Wonder Woman a lot of good character work that makes her feel far more central to the narrative, and also far more interesting. Moreover, by redoing the bank scene and the Amazonian battle scene Snyder it able to make both more inspiring and appear better on screen; the shortening in the Whedon cut really hurt the film.

Similarly, Snyder finally seems to understand Batman (Ben Affleck) and Superman (Henry Cavill), here as well, moving away from some of the edgy aspects of their characters from his previous films and giving us a more comics accurate portrayal.

I think the tone is much better here than it has been in a lot of the other DCEU films as there are moments of levity amongst an otherwise serious affair, but they aren’t treated like dumb cringey jokes like in the original version of Justice League here they feel far more natural to the characters and importantly work.

I think this film is improved by being a Snyder film and from having his sensibilities applied to the project, I think his trademark use of slow motion is often used to great effect especially with the Flash stuff. I also feel like this film could be viewed as somewhat of a spiritual successor to Watchmen,also directed by Snyder, and think it would make for an interesting double bill.

Ezra Miller’s flash does still stand out for all the wrong reasons, and I do hope in future films they tone down the character and his awkwardness as it does become cringe at times, but not as much as in the previous version. Likewise, I also found the amount of problematic people cast in this film off putting as you have Miller (who choke slammed a fan allegedly), Amber Heard (who is the internet boogeyman) and Jared Leto (look it up), all rubbing shoulders with each other in a troublesome trifactor. Though I will give Snyder the benefit of the doubt the incidents involving two of them didn’t come out until it was too late to change it, but it is a shame.

The score by Junkie XL is terrific and really does bring the film together, with the music really adding a lot to the fight scenes in particular; with the new motif they have for Wonder Woman probably being my favourite.

Sadly, there is a large amount of product placement in this film that really does cheapen the film to an extent, admittedly only brief sections feel almost like adverts within the film.

The things added that have made this film R rated are a mixed bag, the blood does add to the intensity of the battle scenes, though the swearing really adds nothing and on the whole the film does not need to be R rated.

Moreover, the reach around line from Joker, is creepy and needless and should have been left out of the film.

Finally, I just want to talk about some of the stuff from the end of the film. Batman’s attempted self-sacrifice does still feel needless though it is handled better here, and the Nightmare section feels forced in at the end for no real reason. With the nightmare section it is clearly Snyder setting up for another film that he does deserve but most likely won’t get. Furthermore, the film does not really neatly address the Flashes’ warning from the previous film, and there are a number of other outstanding questions left to be answered as well.

Overall, a moment of triumph for the DCEU, something far better than the recent offerings (BOP and WW84), though sadly let down by sexual objectification, poor CGI and product placement.

Pros.

Solid world building

Good character work

The battle scenes are far more intense

A lot of the scenes flow better with more context which is allowed for with the longer run time

Cons.

The sexualisation and using of women as a plot device

The reach around line

The poor CGI

The product placement

3.5/5

Making And Unmaking: A Frank Conversation With A Filmmaker

Written by Luke Barnes

Making and Unmaking is a candid documentary short film directed by Shaun Rose. The film sees Rose open up and discuss various triumphs and sets backs he had whilst making his feature film Upstate Story.

If you have an interest in the production side of film, then I would say this is a must watch.

Those of us who have made a film before, are presented with an earnest and frank conversation that we all know well, making a film is one of the hardest things a person can do. As Rose details the events surrounding the production of the film, he paints us a vivid picture of the place his life was in, his fight to get this film made. Touching is not enough to describe this film, but as someone who has made short films before (and would dread the pressure of making anything longer), I can say that this film is incredibly relatable.

Moreover, if you have never made a film before this is still immensely enriching, as it provides a very honest look into the sort of things that filmmakers go through, and what life is really like on a film set.

Overall, this is a very special film in a lot of ways, and it brought a tear to my eye. A beautiful story that needs to be heard.

Pros.

The honesty

The raw emotional weight

A useful educational tool

Very relatable

Cons.

Those not into film production may find less to be interested in here

4.5/5

Cursed Camera: Video Killed…. Well Everyone

Written by Luke Barnes

Cursed Camera is a horror short directed by Hunter Farris. The plot sees a group of budding filmmakers become the unwitting victims of a demon after they start using a cursed camera that kills those who appear on its lens.

This is what horror cinema is all about, the wonderful shorts that breath life back into the genre! I greatly enjoyed this film for the short time it was on, as I thought it was very clever and it made me laugh.

If you have ever made a short yourself before, then you will find the premise itself quite hilarious and more than a little relatable. Moreover, I think the film’s lampoon of possession tropes is spot on, and I was laughing for the entire runtime of the film.

I thought the acting was also quite good, and even though each character was only on screen a minute amount of time before they are killed off most still have their moment to shine and for the most part nail it.

Overall, this was a lot of fun to watch and if you have a spare few minutes you should definitely check it out, eagerly awaiting what the filmmaker does next.

Pros.

A novel premise

A strong lampoon

Many funny scenes

The cast are strong

The ending perfectly sets up more fun

Cons.

None

5/5

The Parish: Nuns Are Always Creepy

The Parish is a horror film directed by David S. Hogan. The plot sees single mum Liz (Angela DiMarco), and her daughter move after Liz’s husband dies- looking for a fresh start. However, upon arrival Liz and her daughter quickly find themselves caught up in a decades old mystery as well as a millennium long battle between good and evil.

The main thing that drew me to this film was Bill Oberst Jr. I am a big fan of the films of Rob Zombie (particularly the Firefly trilogy), so seeing his name attached instantly attracted my attention. Oberst Jr, does not disappoint and is as good here as he is in the final instalment in that trilogy, stealing damn near every scene he is in and managing to be the coolest thing about the film.

Another strong point about the film is it’s scares. Though the film starts off slow, by the twenty minute mark you can see things are a miss, and when Liz starts having horrific nightmare that’s when the film really starts getting going: the nightmares provide the film with some strong horror visuals, but it is the general scene of creepiness brought about by the atmosphere and the plot that makes the film unsettling. This film sat with me for a while after I watched it, which is always a good sign for a horror film.

Overall, a terrifically creepy affair with an excellent, as always, turn from Bill Oberst Jr.

Pros.

Oberst Jr

DiMarco

The scares

The mystery

The final showdown

Cons.

The opening is a little slow

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke