The Oak Room: You Will Believe, And Probably Guess What Happens In The Oak Room

The Oak Room

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Haven’t we been here before? Though I enjoyed this film’s gothic, small town appeal I think it could have done with some fresh ideas. How many times have we had the return to one’s place of birth to settle an old debt storyline? Come on now, move on.

The performances are mostly good across the board, there are a few moments where the actors slip up and you can see through their performances which takes you out of the film, but for the most part this isn’t a thing, and the performances are strong across the piece.

I think the best thing about this film is it’s sense of style, the horror of the small town is always nice to explore there is something personable and relatable in it and it speaks true regardless of period, story or characters. Moreover, there is a clear gothic inspiration here that also definitely helps boost the film from a stylistic perspective.

Overall, a stylistically interesting film, but one that suffers from being more of the same.

Pros.

The gothic influence

The horrors of the small town

The ending

Cons.

It is overly familiar

There are several moments when actors slip up and it breaks the immersion

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Outcast: Nicolas Cage’s Weirdest Haircut Yet

Outcast

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

So I put this on for two reasons, Nicolas Cage and Hayden Christensen. Cage is barely in this film after the opening 5 minutes appearing what feels like hours later, but is in fact less, to be present for the final fight- clearly a pay check role for him. Christensen fares better and has some good fight scenes that at least make his character some what memorable.

Liu Yifei is in this film- yes that is the woman with the terrible views on freedom and who stared in the recent Mulan live action film: she is okay but does not really have much to do here. What she and other characters do have to do however is spout weirdly clunky racist lines every now and again. Yes there are comments such as ‘white devils’ and ‘do white people actually bathe I’ve heard they don’t’, to paraphrase, thrown into this film, why? Who does this serve?

The only real pro I can give this film is that it has cool fight scenes, the fights themselves are well choreographed and look suitably impressive, however everything around and in-between them is dull, cliched and vaguely racist.

Overall, Cage and Christensen deserve better.

Pros.

The fight scenes are well done

Cons.

It is racist ‘

It is uninspired

It feels like a straight to DVD film in all the worst ways

The CGI in the first section is particularly terrible

The Woman In The Window: Close The Curtains

The Woman In The Window

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Netflix original films really can’t seem to catch a break. For the most part originals fall into the beige category and are quickly forgotten about, with even once in a while a film coming out that is either really good or really bad, but for the most part the film’s turn out average; this is the issue of having a machine/algorithm making your decisions for you.

This film is definitely more of the same generic content the service is littered with, it shares a lot of the issues that plague other Netflix originals and it sadly wastes what it could have been.

Amy Adams and Wyatt Russel are the shining stars of the piece, their performances are the ones that stayed with me, for the right reasons, and the ones that were convincing. Sadly a lot of the other big name performers here such as Julianne Moore and Gary Oldman are wasted in a big way, and just feel around for the sake of it; don’t even get me started on Anthony Mackie.

Whilst watching this film with my girlfriend we both had different interpretations of what was wrong with the film as a whole, she thought the film was deeply predictable and guessed the twist early on. I however, thought the opposite true and thought the film was so convoluted, trying ridiculously hard to prove its own intelligence, that it became illegible about halfway through.

The one thing we could agree on however, was that this film was depressing. Oh boy, get a happy film lined up for after this, or hug your pet, this film is the opposite of the sort of thing you want to be watching in lockdown, and will make you sad by the time it ends.

Overall, Netflix needs to realise that not all their films are deep, thoughtful looks into the human condition and that some of them are just pretentious.

Pros.

Adams

Russell

Cons.

It is depressing

It is convoluted

It wastes most of the cast.

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Bloodthirsty: The Pretensions Beast

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

So when I first saw this trailer I thought the werewolf elements were going to play a much bigger part then they actually end up doing. The idea of having a character who is turning into a werewolf not through the traditional bite or scratch, but instead for unknown reasons and playing the whole thing as though it could just be the character having a mental break, is genius and it sets up the film for greatness: sadly it can’t live up to it and it fails to tap into the potential of the premise.

Moreover, the characters never really inspire any deeper thought as it is clear what is going to happen and who everyone is in relation to the plot. Additionally I found this film had a real issue with wooden characters. Characters such as the girlfriend have no function beyond being the girlfriend, there is no nuance to the characters or thought for their arcs.

By the time we got the finale, which is undeniably cool, I started to question if it was too little too late, and I found the answer to be yes.

Overall, a cool idea badly executed.

Pros.

The premise

The transformation scenes

Cons.

The ending is too little too late

The first two acts of this film are a slog to get through

The characters are paper thin

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Star Wars Rogue One: The Front Lines Of The Star War

Star Wars Rogue One

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

By far one of the best films to take place during the Disney Star Wars period so far, this film not only has a personality and feel all its own, but crucially it also manages to exist without heavy involvement from the Skywalkers or other, big named characters: thereby proving that Star Wars as a franchise can move forward with new characters and does not need to stick to the same few characters.

I enjoyed the darker tone of the film, with it feeling more like a war film than a Star Wars film: I definitely think that the tone is the best bit of the film and it could only have been made better if it was taken further and made even darker.

I thought the core group of characters were all strong and had believable motivations. I thought Jyn’s, Felicity Jones, arc surrounding her father and the original Deathstar was inspired: by using this the story becomes important and rooted in cannon whilst also feeling fresh and like something we haven’t seen before. I also thought the emotional stakes of the arc were done well and Jones and Mads Mikkelsen, who plays Jyn’s father both have strong commanding performances.

Finally, I liked that they had the guts to end it the way they did with the characters dying, yes it was bleak, but it showed that the film and the creatives weren’t afraid to take risks and that is the attitude Star Wars needs to have going forward.

Overall, a dark, gritty and effecting Star Wars film. More like this please.

Pros.

The tone

The father-daughter arc

New characters

The ending

Cons.

A few pacing complaints and some needless humour

Monday: The Winter Soldier’s Weekend Off

Monday

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Though Sebastian Stan is likeable, he isn’t enough to keep this film afloat. Honestly this film was hard to get through not because it was bad, it might have been more entertaining if it was, but because it was so generic: I have seen this film before with different actors set in a different place, but essentially the same film.

Moreover, I thought there was a needlessly large amount of sex scenes in this film. I am by no means a prude or anything like that, and I understand that this film was supposed to be erotic, but it felt a little needless and over the top, there was a sex scene every few seconds. A variety of spread out sex scenes don’t equate to a story.

The dialogue and the characters also feel overly familiar which makes them hard to care about or attach to. Though there are a few funny lines of dialogue that does not make up for arcs that we have seen many times before, as this film is fundamentally afraid to do anything new with its characters.

Overall, a by the numbers romantic drama film that you have seen before.

Pros.

A few funny lines

Sebastian Stan is charming

Cons.

Very generic

Gratuitous nudity and sex

The characters feel paper thin

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Spider-Man 3: Emo Spider-Man Is Back

Spider-Man 3

3/5

Many people view this film as somewhat of a joke, the black sheep of the Spider-Man film family, if you ignore the Amazing Spider-Man sequel. I think the reason why this film is still so sore to so many people is because of just how disappointing it is, and just how badly it managed to screw up classic Spider-Man characters.

Now I don’t mind emo Spider-Man and I actually think the storyline gets a lot more hate than it deserves, is it bizarre? Yes, but is it also hilarious? Yes again. I even give this film a pass for the Sandman Uncle Ben plot because I think in the end the arc works and is actually quite powerful. However, it is Venom where this film really puts its foot in its mouth.

I won’t say the standard line about this film though it is true, the number of villains in this film is one of the main reasons it doesn’t work. If they had focused on one villain and had another a minor or sub antagonist then it could have worked, but this felt far too crammed together and like a desperate attempt by Sony to set up the Sinister Six.

In all honesty I can’t take this film seriously, and if I were to it would get a lower mark than it has, viewing it as a goofy almost comedic take on a serious superhero blockbuster is the only way I can enjoy this film.

Overall, perhaps given an unfairly bad rap, but at the same time ruined by corporate greed and iffy story telling decisions.

Pros.

The comedy

Sandman

The ending

Cons.

Too many villains

They get Venom so very wrong

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Voyagers: A Base Impulse Indeed

Voyagers

2.5/5

There is two types of ‘smart sci-fi’ film, one that usually is clever but bafflingly so, and the other is an imitation, it tries to be clever and insightful, maybe even deep, but it can never be more than an imitation- this is the latter.

My biggest issue with this film is that fact that despite having several good ideas prime for exploring the film instead goes for Lord of the Flies in space and quickly becomes obvious. To make matters worse the film thinks it is being highbrow and intelligent for making this choice, when it is the furthest thing from the truth, however the film is far too narcissistic to see that it has the depth of a puddle.

Furthermore another issue I found was the rape threat throughout the film. I understand that the film wants to convey these characters as giving into their base impulses, but having a whole sub plot dedicated to how the villain wants to force himself on the female lead feels in bad taste, and there seems to be a million different ways the film could have conveyed root base line evil without going in this direction.

The positives of the film definitely come in the performances Lily Rose-Depp is the breakout of the film and Colin Farrell is doing a good job anchoring things together. Ty Sheridan is fine, but he never makes it past the generic, heroic male lead.

Overall, a film that has promise, yet it chooses to throw this all away to chase after a far more base and obvious plotline that you have seen before.

Pros.

Farrell

Rose-Depp

The premise

Cons.

The rape threat

Lord of the flies in space

Becomes very generic and forgettable as it goes on

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Star Wars Episode I The Phantom Menace: Jar Jar Is Even Worse Than I Remembered

Star Wars Episode I The Phantom Menace

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

I have been greatly enjoying the animated Star Wars television offerings recently, so I decided that I would give the films another go; I watched them all when I was younger, and I was not a fan. Regardless of my new found knowledge on all things Star Wars, I still didn’t find my enjoyment of this film to be anymore than it had been when I was a child. If anything the issues were now far more glaring.

Unlike James Cameron’s Avatar, the effects in this film look horribly dated. The CGI does not hold up even to a late noughties standard, and the sequences that feature heavy practical work do look better, but not by much.

Moreover, the forced humour is irritating. The amount of tense moments that are cut away from, under cut or out rightly defused by a bad joke are staggering. Moreover, not only does the loathed Jar Jar Binks not serve as the comedic, toy selling masterstroke he was intended as, but rather a crudely put together racial stereotype that simply serves to offend; there has been quite a bit written on this subject and I suggest you go and do you own research. Basically it boiled down to George Lucas saying, I am not a racist for my stereotypical character, you are racist for noticing the stereotype. Like I said read up on it, it’s fascinating.

The pacing is so slow it makes the film hard to watch, and if Lucas did not have complete creative control over this film I’m sure big sections of it would have been cut out, and honestly that would probably have made it a better film.

The only slightly redeeming parts are Liam Neeson as a jedi and Darth Maul, but they are underused and killed off so not really a pro for the film.

Overall, despite a wider appreciation for Star Wars on my part this is still a bad film.

Pros

Neeson

Maul

Cons.

The horrible CGI

All the needless padding

The racist characters

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Percy Vs Goliath: The Breadbasket Is Under Attack

Percy Vs Goliath

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

I am a big fan of Christopher Walken, he is one of those few actors who is near always great even if he is only in a film for a short cameo, and this film is no different. Walken makes the character of Percy feel very human and sympathetic and does a lot to honour and capture the spirit of the real man himself.

Moreover, I think it is the performance of Walken that puts this film above a lot of other similar films, and believe me there are a lot of them, the idea of a regular person standing up to a large corporation is a very popular type of narrative that can be seen throughout the history of cinema, and back further into religious cannon: it taps into our universal love of the underdog. However, despite Walken being good this film does end up fading in with the rest of them, and the story itself is very predictable in this regard.

Furthermore, Walken is supported by a very talented cast as well with Zach Braff and Christina Ricci giving scene stealing performances, and easily holding their own with such a veteran performer as Walken.

Overall, despite a lot of high calibre actors giving good performances the film ends up feeling a little too predictable and familiar.

Pros.

Walken

Braff

Ricci

Cons.

It is predictable and feels a little too similar

It has pacing issues

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