Spiral: Another Comedian Turns Serious

Spiral, From The Book Of Saw

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

I had not planned to return to cinemas after this latest bit of lockdown, but one thing led to another and I ended up seeing this film. My thoughts on the Saw series are well documented, I thought the series ran itself into the ground somewhere around the fourth or fifth film with everything after that being borderline unwatchable. Jigsaw tried to take the series back to what made it good- the man himself, but even that failed to get more out of me than a meh.

I think this film had some of the same issues as the other films, but also managed to be fun enough that you can ignore them. The issues with this film was all on the writing front, the mystery is blatantly obvious, and the twist is easy to figure out midway through the film. Moreover, much like everything after the third film, this is very much in the shadow of John Kramer’s jigsaw and the series is still trying to fill the void with ‘imitators’, but once again they can’t compare.

I enjoyed Chris Rock as the lead in this film he gives a fairly competent turn and manages to sell both the drama and the comedy- he made me laugh quite a few times throughout the film. Likewise Samuel L. Jackson steals the screen whenever he is on it, and though his character isn’t given a ton to do he strengthens the film immensely.

I found this film perfectly got the essence of the traps down to a tee. They were not overly gory or clearly done for shock value, yet they were intense and wince inducing- just as you would want them to be. Furthermore, there aren’t that many traps actually in the film, which on paper seems like a bad thing but in execution actually makes the few we get to see in the film even better and more significant.

Overall, the best thing to come out of the Saw franchise in well over a decade.

Pros.

Rock

Jackson

The traps

The ending

Cons.

The mystery and the twist are poor

It is still trying to fill that Jigsaw void

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Mainstream: The Product Of A Society That Has Lost It’s Way In It’s Blind Devotion To All Things Celebrity

Mainstream

4.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

This was a very positive surprise. Not only did I find the societal message of this film to be surprisingly insightful, I also thought it boasted a very talented cast that really came together to make the film something special.

I have been saying for a while that Maya Hawke was going to go on to be a phenomenal talent; the last season of Stranger Things was all the proof I needed, but this film proves it beyond any doubt. Even with such praise, she is not the standout of the film, though she does give an electric performance. The standout of the film is Andrew Garfield as the mysterious Link, who seems to exist outside the standard society we all find ourselves in and who uses this edge to become a Youtube sensation. Garfield is simply outstanding in the role, he manages to be both charming and also terrifying at the same time and you don’t know how to feel towards him as a result; he is a monster, but at the same time you want to see him win. I think it may be the performance of Garfield’s career so far.

Likewise the message of the film spoke to me. I think this idea of lampooning influencer culture and pointing out all the harm it does to people, only then to become sucked into that world and addicted to the fame and money it provides to be a deeply intriguing point of exploration. I think though the film’s ending is a little muddled, I like how the film ends and responds to it’s own message and teachings.

The only point of criticism I would give this film is that I felt the love triangle was needless. There is a romance plot line, that turns into a love triangle for the drama, in this film that feels forced in, I suppose it is done under the guise of character development, but really it just feels like filler. Luckily this is kept to a minimum.

Overall, an incredibly strong film that needs to be seen.

Pros.

Garfield

The style

The message

The conflicting emotions you feel watching it

Cons.

The love triangle

The ending could be structured better

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For Those Who Want Me Dead: Theron Would Have Been A Better Lead. AKA I’m Worried About The Eternals Now

For Those Who Wish Me Dead

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

I am a big fan of Taylor Sheridan- he is one of the best screen writers of our age and is up there with Sorkin. As such when I heard of this film I was intrigued and wanted to watch it, and now that I have, though it is good, I found it to be disappointing. I found the film itself to be fairly breezy action fun, but the ending was slightly anti-climactic: especially the parts of the final fight involving Angelina Jolie’s main character.

For the most part Jolie’s character does very little beyond be there and run occasionally, a lot of the things happen around her and she has little involvement in actually progressing the narrative at all; besides killing the final bad guy at the end. Jolie who used to be an action hero is surprisingly passive here also, and honestly doesn’t seem like she is trying.

Aside from Jolie the rest of the cast come together nicely with Aiden Gillen almost certainly being the standout. The action for the most part is intense and well-choreographed, with some nice gore in the later stages.

Personally I think this film would have been better had the lead actually had something to do, beyond being sad about something in her past and vaguely bonding with a child.

Overall, good but still a slip for Sheridan.

Pros.

Gillen

The action

The vistas and the cinematography

Cons.

The passive lead

Jolie

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The Oak Room: You Will Believe, And Probably Guess What Happens In The Oak Room

The Oak Room

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Haven’t we been here before? Though I enjoyed this film’s gothic, small town appeal I think it could have done with some fresh ideas. How many times have we had the return to one’s place of birth to settle an old debt storyline? Come on now, move on.

The performances are mostly good across the board, there are a few moments where the actors slip up and you can see through their performances which takes you out of the film, but for the most part this isn’t a thing, and the performances are strong across the piece.

I think the best thing about this film is it’s sense of style, the horror of the small town is always nice to explore there is something personable and relatable in it and it speaks true regardless of period, story or characters. Moreover, there is a clear gothic inspiration here that also definitely helps boost the film from a stylistic perspective.

Overall, a stylistically interesting film, but one that suffers from being more of the same.

Pros.

The gothic influence

The horrors of the small town

The ending

Cons.

It is overly familiar

There are several moments when actors slip up and it breaks the immersion

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Outcast: Nicolas Cage’s Weirdest Haircut Yet

Outcast

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

So I put this on for two reasons, Nicolas Cage and Hayden Christensen. Cage is barely in this film after the opening 5 minutes appearing what feels like hours later, but is in fact less, to be present for the final fight- clearly a pay check role for him. Christensen fares better and has some good fight scenes that at least make his character some what memorable.

Liu Yifei is in this film- yes that is the woman with the terrible views on freedom and who stared in the recent Mulan live action film: she is okay but does not really have much to do here. What she and other characters do have to do however is spout weirdly clunky racist lines every now and again. Yes there are comments such as ‘white devils’ and ‘do white people actually bathe I’ve heard they don’t’, to paraphrase, thrown into this film, why? Who does this serve?

The only real pro I can give this film is that it has cool fight scenes, the fights themselves are well choreographed and look suitably impressive, however everything around and in-between them is dull, cliched and vaguely racist.

Overall, Cage and Christensen deserve better.

Pros.

The fight scenes are well done

Cons.

It is racist ‘

It is uninspired

It feels like a straight to DVD film in all the worst ways

The CGI in the first section is particularly terrible

The Woman In The Window: Close The Curtains

The Woman In The Window

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Netflix original films really can’t seem to catch a break. For the most part originals fall into the beige category and are quickly forgotten about, with even once in a while a film coming out that is either really good or really bad, but for the most part the film’s turn out average; this is the issue of having a machine/algorithm making your decisions for you.

This film is definitely more of the same generic content the service is littered with, it shares a lot of the issues that plague other Netflix originals and it sadly wastes what it could have been.

Amy Adams and Wyatt Russel are the shining stars of the piece, their performances are the ones that stayed with me, for the right reasons, and the ones that were convincing. Sadly a lot of the other big name performers here such as Julianne Moore and Gary Oldman are wasted in a big way, and just feel around for the sake of it; don’t even get me started on Anthony Mackie.

Whilst watching this film with my girlfriend we both had different interpretations of what was wrong with the film as a whole, she thought the film was deeply predictable and guessed the twist early on. I however, thought the opposite true and thought the film was so convoluted, trying ridiculously hard to prove its own intelligence, that it became illegible about halfway through.

The one thing we could agree on however, was that this film was depressing. Oh boy, get a happy film lined up for after this, or hug your pet, this film is the opposite of the sort of thing you want to be watching in lockdown, and will make you sad by the time it ends.

Overall, Netflix needs to realise that not all their films are deep, thoughtful looks into the human condition and that some of them are just pretentious.

Pros.

Adams

Russell

Cons.

It is depressing

It is convoluted

It wastes most of the cast.

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Bloodthirsty: The Pretensions Beast

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

So when I first saw this trailer I thought the werewolf elements were going to play a much bigger part then they actually end up doing. The idea of having a character who is turning into a werewolf not through the traditional bite or scratch, but instead for unknown reasons and playing the whole thing as though it could just be the character having a mental break, is genius and it sets up the film for greatness: sadly it can’t live up to it and it fails to tap into the potential of the premise.

Moreover, the characters never really inspire any deeper thought as it is clear what is going to happen and who everyone is in relation to the plot. Additionally I found this film had a real issue with wooden characters. Characters such as the girlfriend have no function beyond being the girlfriend, there is no nuance to the characters or thought for their arcs.

By the time we got the finale, which is undeniably cool, I started to question if it was too little too late, and I found the answer to be yes.

Overall, a cool idea badly executed.

Pros.

The premise

The transformation scenes

Cons.

The ending is too little too late

The first two acts of this film are a slog to get through

The characters are paper thin

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Star Wars Rogue One: The Front Lines Of The Star War

Star Wars Rogue One

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

By far one of the best films to take place during the Disney Star Wars period so far, this film not only has a personality and feel all its own, but crucially it also manages to exist without heavy involvement from the Skywalkers or other, big named characters: thereby proving that Star Wars as a franchise can move forward with new characters and does not need to stick to the same few characters.

I enjoyed the darker tone of the film, with it feeling more like a war film than a Star Wars film: I definitely think that the tone is the best bit of the film and it could only have been made better if it was taken further and made even darker.

I thought the core group of characters were all strong and had believable motivations. I thought Jyn’s, Felicity Jones, arc surrounding her father and the original Deathstar was inspired: by using this the story becomes important and rooted in cannon whilst also feeling fresh and like something we haven’t seen before. I also thought the emotional stakes of the arc were done well and Jones and Mads Mikkelsen, who plays Jyn’s father both have strong commanding performances.

Finally, I liked that they had the guts to end it the way they did with the characters dying, yes it was bleak, but it showed that the film and the creatives weren’t afraid to take risks and that is the attitude Star Wars needs to have going forward.

Overall, a dark, gritty and effecting Star Wars film. More like this please.

Pros.

The tone

The father-daughter arc

New characters

The ending

Cons.

A few pacing complaints and some needless humour

Monday: The Winter Soldier’s Weekend Off

Monday

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Though Sebastian Stan is likeable, he isn’t enough to keep this film afloat. Honestly this film was hard to get through not because it was bad, it might have been more entertaining if it was, but because it was so generic: I have seen this film before with different actors set in a different place, but essentially the same film.

Moreover, I thought there was a needlessly large amount of sex scenes in this film. I am by no means a prude or anything like that, and I understand that this film was supposed to be erotic, but it felt a little needless and over the top, there was a sex scene every few seconds. A variety of spread out sex scenes don’t equate to a story.

The dialogue and the characters also feel overly familiar which makes them hard to care about or attach to. Though there are a few funny lines of dialogue that does not make up for arcs that we have seen many times before, as this film is fundamentally afraid to do anything new with its characters.

Overall, a by the numbers romantic drama film that you have seen before.

Pros.

A few funny lines

Sebastian Stan is charming

Cons.

Very generic

Gratuitous nudity and sex

The characters feel paper thin

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Spider-Man 3: Emo Spider-Man Is Back

Spider-Man 3

3/5

Many people view this film as somewhat of a joke, the black sheep of the Spider-Man film family, if you ignore the Amazing Spider-Man sequel. I think the reason why this film is still so sore to so many people is because of just how disappointing it is, and just how badly it managed to screw up classic Spider-Man characters.

Now I don’t mind emo Spider-Man and I actually think the storyline gets a lot more hate than it deserves, is it bizarre? Yes, but is it also hilarious? Yes again. I even give this film a pass for the Sandman Uncle Ben plot because I think in the end the arc works and is actually quite powerful. However, it is Venom where this film really puts its foot in its mouth.

I won’t say the standard line about this film though it is true, the number of villains in this film is one of the main reasons it doesn’t work. If they had focused on one villain and had another a minor or sub antagonist then it could have worked, but this felt far too crammed together and like a desperate attempt by Sony to set up the Sinister Six.

In all honesty I can’t take this film seriously, and if I were to it would get a lower mark than it has, viewing it as a goofy almost comedic take on a serious superhero blockbuster is the only way I can enjoy this film.

Overall, perhaps given an unfairly bad rap, but at the same time ruined by corporate greed and iffy story telling decisions.

Pros.

The comedy

Sandman

The ending

Cons.

Too many villains

They get Venom so very wrong

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