Yakuza Princess: Waking Up Confused In A Brazilian Hospital We’ve All Been There Right?

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A man, Jonathan Rhys Myers, awakens in a Brazilin hospital with no memory of who he is with the only tie to his former life being a samurai sword.

This was a fairly boring samurai inspired action film. Not only was it boring but it is also deeply played out, the plot has been done time and time again and in a much more coherent way than this. Rhys Meyers is clearly just here for the money and even though he is not bad his character has so little substance to him that he ceases to be a person after a while.

Moreover, there is a location issue with the film that becomes more and more distracting as the film goes on. There are some scenes that are clearly supposed to be in Japan, or at least that’s how I interpreted them, and then there are others set in Brazil and the two switch back and forth and it becomes confusing what is happening where. Maybe it was my reading of it that was wrong, but I was confused throughout.

The action for the most part is also a wet blanket, never being able to tap into any of its influences well or deliver anything of substance.

Overall, a weak, bland and forgettable action film.

Pros.

It is watchable

A few interesting moments

Cons.

It is bland

The action is weak

Rhys Myers adds nothing

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RocknRolla: Rockstars Are Only Ever Really Famous After They Are Dead

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of criminals get tied up in an underhand business deal between a local crime lord and a Russian mobster.

I really appreciate the style of Guy Ritchie, his films may be similar, but they are always consistently good and deliver on what they promise, namely slick gritty fun.

For the most part I really enjoyed this film, however there was one aspect that I thought was a little off. There is a sub-plot about one of the gang being homosexual and the other members response to it. I understand this was supposed to be comedic, and they do end up accepting him in the end, but it feels like they linger on this plot line for far too long and it does border on homophobia a little bit at times.

To return to a more positive footing, I don’t think anyone does pacing quite as well as Ritchie. His films always stay consistently entertaining throughout, there is never a lull or a slow moment it is all so slick, there really isn’t any other word for it.

I enjoyed the performances across the board, everyone had their moment to shine and was used well. If I had to pick a favourite it would probably be Idris Elba as Mr Mumbles, I thought he was easily the scene stealer and the most interesting of the group.

I just want to draw attention to the dancing scene during the party which should feel odd and out of place considering the nature of the film, however it works really well and is a nice moment of comic relief, which provides us with some of the most unique shots of the whole feature.

Overall, a strong Ritchie film not quite Snatch but definitely up there.

Pros.

Elba

The pacing

The ending

Entertaining throughout

Cons.

The homosexual subplot is too drawn out and a little homophobic

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Redemption/Hummingbird: Jason Statham The Sensitive Soul

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Ex-special forces soldier Joey, Jason Statham, is on the run from a dishonourable discharge and has become a homeless drug addict wondering the streets of London. This all changes when he finds his way into an apartment where the tenant is away for several months, so Joey stays and assumes this other person’s identity and begins to recover himself.

Let it be said to anyone, who like I has ever doubted Jason Statham’s ability as a dramatic actor that this film proves he has chops. Yes, there are some punchy punchy scenes but for the most part this film is about addiction, recover and the ability to return from the darkness. Rather surprisingly Statham really shines here and gives quite a well emoted, resonating performance that actually has you feeling things for the character.

Steven Knight continues to prove his fantastic dramatic sensibilities here and crafts an incredibly effecting film. This film is at times hard to watch, I did find myself becoming depressed whilst watching it, however if you stick with it you find an enriching experience that makes you question what is really important to you and provides a very nuanced take on a return from war.

Overall, a surprising turn from Statham makes this one to watch, however it won’t be to everyone’s tastes and can be incredibly depressing.

Pros.

Statham

The conversation it starts about returning from war

The message and the themes

Cons.

It is hard to watch

The ending becomes a brawl at times, and I don’t feel like this fit the film

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Spectre: Bond Defeats His Targets By Putting Them To Sleep

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Bond, Daniel Craig, is back to uncover and defeat a conspiracy close to home and one that links all the Craig era bad guys.

So I will open this by saying I am not a big Bond fan, I have seen a fair few of them and they have their moments, but to me they were never as good as the Bourne films.

This film was painful to get through, whoever edited it should be fired. An opening that drags on and on before anything even remotely interesting happens, followed by a story that meanders at nearly every turn seems almost like it is going out of its way to bore audiences. Self-indulgent would be the word I would use for it.

Moreover, it is painfully clear to see that Craig does not want to be there. He has the dead-eyed stare of a man who deeply regrets signing a contract but must now follow through. When you compare how he is in this film to the other Craig era bond films, or any of his other performances he just seems so turned off, so disengaged which almost becomes infectious as the film progresses.

The mystery is painfully dull and seems to add more complexions to itself simply to pad out the runtime. The villains are generic and are nothing we haven’t seen time and again before in previous films. The only character that actually got my attention was Dave Bautista’s Mr Hinx, he was an interesting character that could have been an intimidating villain for Bond, but no they killed him off.

Overall, this is why the series needs to retire.

Pros.

It is watchable

A few neat visuals

Cons.

It badly paced

The mystery is awful

No one bar Bautista looks like they want to be there

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Hacksaw Ridge: Mel Gibson Should Make Films For PureFlix.

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

This film follows the life of army combat medic Desmond Doss, Andrew Garfield, as he serves during World War II without ever using a gun.

This was an incredibly uplifting film. Yes the violence and the death of war are grizzly and are on full display here, but underneath that is a story about a young man just doing what he thinks is right and saving lives, even when those same people call him names and abuse him for his beliefs.

I could have done without the constant religious framing of everything in the film, but hey it is a Mel Gibson picture so what do you expect? I understand the real life person this was based on was deeply religious and it is fundamental to the story, that is not what I am complaining about. What I am complaining about is the use of shots, to give an example the final shot of the film before it cuts to credits sees Doss being carried away on a stretcher, the camera is below and zooming out giving the impression that the stretcher is rising into the heavens- a saint ascending. This bothered me for two reasons one, the character doesn’t die and two, it is far too on the nose.

Moreover, the writing in this film is not good at all. The opening scenes, not the ones when they are children but the ones which show Doss’s early courtship before he went overseas, are so painfully cringe that I almost had to skip through them. The line delivery is off by such a huge margin that I can’t place the blame solely at Garfield’s feet clearly something must have been bad in the script or even the direction.

That aside the performances for the most part were great across the board. I enjoyed Vince Vaughn as a drill sergeant and I thought once again Andrew Garfield shone brightly, proving his clear talent with ease.

Overall, a solid and uplifting war film.

Pros.

Garfield

It is inspiring

It doesn’t shy away from showing you the horrors of war

The ending

Cons.

The heavy handed religious metaphors

The dialogue and line delivery during the courtship scenes

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Old School: Turns Out Todd Phillips Wasn’t Funny Even Before Woke Culture Made Him Quit Comedy

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Three middle aged men decide to relive their youth and go back to their partying days before they had kids- shockingly original I know.

Much like with my Wedding Crashers review where I pointed out how the film liked to make fun and trivialise male rape, I know this one is also going to be controversial. As you can see from my score I did not enjoy this film very much at all, it was charmless and worse still not even slightly funny.

Now before I get into it I just want to say comedy is subjective so what makes me laugh might not be the same for you.

Within the first ten minutes of this film you had a random character busting out the F slur because it was the early noughties so why not right? It is disgusting and clearly just used to be edgy. This film is made by the same man who said you can’t do comedy anymore because everyone is too PC and it shows in nearly every scene. Not only does this film have a particularly strong homophobic undertone, but it also views all of its female characters as either nagging wives or sexual objects and nothing more.

I like Vince Vaughn so I gave the film an extra half a point, but even he can’t save this film. None of the characters are particularly likeable and each ‘comedian’ is doing the worst version of their usual shtick, Ferrell is screaming rather than talking, Wilson is melancholy and broody, and Vaughn is a sleezy party boy- which of those sound likeable? I’ll answer for you, none.

We also get a supporting performance from alleged sexual predator Jeremy Piven, which almost made me turn the film off.

Overall, maybe the reason Todd Phillips stopped doing comedy is because no one finds his sexist, creepy, homophobic jokes funny anymore.

Pros.

Vaughn is trying

Snoop Dogg

Cons.

The jokes

The homophobic comments

It is wildly sexist

None of the characters are likeable

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Vacation Friends: Crashing A Boat Isn’t A Big Deal

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Whilst on holiday in Mexico Marcus, Lil Rel Howery, and Emily, Yvonne Ori, meet a strange eccentric couple, played by John Cena and Meredith Hagner who end up changing their whole outlook on life.

I want to preface this review by saying that though personally I dislike John Cena for saying Taiwan isn’t a country and grovelling to the despotic Chinese government, he is actually funny here. I struggled with it a lot whilst watching, but I managed to put my feelings about Cena to one side and enjoy his performance in the film without reflecting on him as a person. Cena does do comedy really well, and here is no exception he gets a lot of funny lines.

I was pleasantly surprised by this film as I thought it was going to be a silly crude comedy, but in actuality there is a lot of heart, warmth and genuine human emotion to be found here. I found myself becoming sentimental at several scenes, said scenes do not feel forced in but rather organic and well used. I particularly like Cena in this aspect.

I think my issue with this film is that it does not give Ori’ Emily much to do at all and she is just the caricature of the girlfriend/wife stereotype. This is not true for all the female characters in the film as Hagner’s Kyla gets to have a lot of fun and break from traditional gender roles.

Overall, a sweet comedy film boosted by John Cena.

Pros.

Cena

Lil Rel Howery

It is sweet

It is funny

Cons.

Ori’s Emily is given nothing to do

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Shang Chi And The Legend Of The Ten Rings: Now We Have Dragons In The MCU

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Shang Chi, Simu Liu, must confront his past and his family in order to save the planet. A world of martial arts, dragons and family drama is explored.

Sadly Fin Fang Foom is not in this movie, I even waited till the very end to see if we were going to get a tease, we don’t. However, that is not to say their aren’t any dragons in this film we get two: The Great Protector and The One Who Dwells In Darkness, or something like that. Can I just pause for a moment and say how cool it is that the Marvel Cinematic Universe now has dragons in it. I very much enjoyed seeing this new magical world being explored and opened up, I can’t wait to explore it more in a sequel.

In terms of acting I think Simu Liu makes for a very capable leading man being both funny and charming throughout. Ben Kingsley returns to reprise his role of Trevor Slattery from the third Iron Man film and easily makes up for the sins of that film and lands some of the best jokes in the entire MCU. Continuing on that note this is easily one of the funniest films in the MCU and the comedy really enhances the film and adds a lot to it.

My one complaint of the film would be that the fight scenes aren’t very impressive. Watched in a vacuum without other films, without all the hype, someone might think these fight scenes were cool and impressive. However, in context of the genre, or at least the genre they are trying to emulate they are about five years out of date. Whilst the fight scenes are more intense and better structured than most in the MCU, when compared to something like the IP Man films, The Raid or even John Wick they feel like poor copies of other fight scenes done better elsewhere, and that is a big disappointment.

The breakout star of this film is easily Meng’er Zhang, she manages to out-badass Shang Chi himself and the final post credits scene promises something very exciting for the characters future. I personally found myself connecting more with her emotional journey and family baggage than I did with Shang Chi but that is not to say both weren’t well done.

Overall, a good Marvel film but an average martial arts film.

Pros.

The mystical side of the MCU is expanded further

Meng’er Zhang

Simu Liu

The comedy

Cons.

Pacing issues

Average fight scenes

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The Nest: If Someone Who Lives In The American Suburbs Can Suddenly Afford An English Manor House They Are A Con Man

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

An entrepreneur, Jude Law, and his American family have their lives drift off course when they move into an English manner house.

This film is a mixed bag.

On the positive side the film is helped along greatly by strong performances from its two leads, Jude Law and Carrie Coon. Both give strong emotional layered performances that are effecting on multiple levels. I would say Coon is the real star of the show but not by much, her scene with the dug up remains of her horse is incredibly powerful.

However, on the other side of things the plot is incredibly predictable and deeply overly familiar. Truly you have seen this film before, I accurately guessed several key elements of the film early on as it was blindingly clear. What threw me however was the odd mentions to the supernatural here and there, that lead you to believe that this might be more of a classic British manner ghost mystery: it is not, and these lines are just throw away.

If you simply want a character drama about a family’s life falling apart set of a decaying English manner house then you will be happy enough with this.

Overall, the acting helps to push this film forward, but the incredibly familiar narrative holds it back.

Pros.

Jude Law

Carrie Coon

A strong emotional resonance

Cons.

It is overly familiar

You can easily predict what is going to happen next

The character journey’s don’t seem to lead anywhere

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Snatch: Brad Pitt’s Best Performance?

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A couple of young gangland thugs, Jason Statham and Stephen Graham, must recruit a traveller boxer, Brad Pitt, to fight for them after he puts their other fight in the hospital over a caravan dispute.

I think this film really shows the best of Guy Ritchie. It is snappy, brutal and comedic in a snarky dark sense. Moreover, it highlights some of the best British acting talent at the time, Graham, Lennie James and Jason Flemyng; not even I will make a case for Statham being an ‘acting’ talent.

However, the clear standout of this film is easily Brad Pitt. Pitt sinks into the role so well you begin to question whether he might actually have been an Irish traveller all along. He entirely leaves behind any Hollywood airs and graces and truly becomes the character, this may be one of his best performances for sure.

The best thing about this film is how well it flows; the pacing simply is top notch. All of the separate stories are woven together in such a way where they all end up at the same point and nicely compliment each other along the way. Furthermore, the film never inflicts a slow moment upon us it is go, go, go keeping us entertained and giving us a few good laughs along the way as well for good measure.

The only thing I could criticise it for is that the ending is too neat, and I would have preferred a little bit more ambiguity or perhaps even a few unanswered questions, though that is just my personal taste.

Overall, an incredibly strong British crime film and maybe the best film of Brad Pitt’s career.

Pros.

Brad Pitt

The best of British’s talent

A few good jokes

Incredibly well structured and paced

Cons.

The ending was a little neat for my taste

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