Spider-Man 3: Emo Spider-Man Is Back

Spider-Man 3

3/5

Many people view this film as somewhat of a joke, the black sheep of the Spider-Man film family, if you ignore the Amazing Spider-Man sequel. I think the reason why this film is still so sore to so many people is because of just how disappointing it is, and just how badly it managed to screw up classic Spider-Man characters.

Now I don’t mind emo Spider-Man and I actually think the storyline gets a lot more hate than it deserves, is it bizarre? Yes, but is it also hilarious? Yes again. I even give this film a pass for the Sandman Uncle Ben plot because I think in the end the arc works and is actually quite powerful. However, it is Venom where this film really puts its foot in its mouth.

I won’t say the standard line about this film though it is true, the number of villains in this film is one of the main reasons it doesn’t work. If they had focused on one villain and had another a minor or sub antagonist then it could have worked, but this felt far too crammed together and like a desperate attempt by Sony to set up the Sinister Six.

In all honesty I can’t take this film seriously, and if I were to it would get a lower mark than it has, viewing it as a goofy almost comedic take on a serious superhero blockbuster is the only way I can enjoy this film.

Overall, perhaps given an unfairly bad rap, but at the same time ruined by corporate greed and iffy story telling decisions.

Pros.

The comedy

Sandman

The ending

Cons.

Too many villains

They get Venom so very wrong

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Star Wars Episode I The Phantom Menace: Jar Jar Is Even Worse Than I Remembered

Star Wars Episode I The Phantom Menace

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

I have been greatly enjoying the animated Star Wars television offerings recently, so I decided that I would give the films another go; I watched them all when I was younger, and I was not a fan. Regardless of my new found knowledge on all things Star Wars, I still didn’t find my enjoyment of this film to be anymore than it had been when I was a child. If anything the issues were now far more glaring.

Unlike James Cameron’s Avatar, the effects in this film look horribly dated. The CGI does not hold up even to a late noughties standard, and the sequences that feature heavy practical work do look better, but not by much.

Moreover, the forced humour is irritating. The amount of tense moments that are cut away from, under cut or out rightly defused by a bad joke are staggering. Moreover, not only does the loathed Jar Jar Binks not serve as the comedic, toy selling masterstroke he was intended as, but rather a crudely put together racial stereotype that simply serves to offend; there has been quite a bit written on this subject and I suggest you go and do you own research. Basically it boiled down to George Lucas saying, I am not a racist for my stereotypical character, you are racist for noticing the stereotype. Like I said read up on it, it’s fascinating.

The pacing is so slow it makes the film hard to watch, and if Lucas did not have complete creative control over this film I’m sure big sections of it would have been cut out, and honestly that would probably have made it a better film.

The only slightly redeeming parts are Liam Neeson as a jedi and Darth Maul, but they are underused and killed off so not really a pro for the film.

Overall, despite a wider appreciation for Star Wars on my part this is still a bad film.

Pros

Neeson

Maul

Cons.

The horrible CGI

All the needless padding

The racist characters

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Without Remorse: Having Conversations In Burning Vehicles

Without Remorse

3/5

So usually I give Tom Clancy films a miss, they always follow the same formula and play out exactly identically. However, the casting of known good actor Michael B Jordan, mixed with a good amount of covid boredom led to me checking this film out and I’m mixed. The film does have some good parts such as the action, but at the same time it suffers all of the usual Clancy problems- best shown in the third act.

During the third act there is a moment where the heroes say the villains are bad because they kill some Russian police officers, only to moments later go out and do exactly the same thing, and it makes no sense. I get that the finale needs a big action set piece, but really why not just take out the line where they say doing what they were about to do is bad when the villains do it and save on the plot hole

Michael B. Jordan is strong here and he really sells the physicality of the role and you can believe him being an actual special forces soldier. There are a number of scenes here when the power of Jordan’s acting rises above the shall we say limited script, and that I believe proves how he is an outstanding talent.

Overall, there are positive moments to be found here, but there is also a lot of generic filler that even those dedicated to the action genre might find hard to watch.

Pros.

Michael B. Jordan

The action

Jamie Bell.

Cons.

It is generic

The ending is not satisfying

Spider Man 2: Spider-Man Forgets The Whole Secret Identity Thing In This One

Spider-Man 2

4.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Regarded by many as one of the best superhero films and certainly the best Spider-Man film there is something of an air of victory to this film. Whilst I agree it is certainly the best Peter Parker Spider-Man film, I would say Spiderverse is the best Spider-Man film of them all, I can’t say it is the best superhero film.

I enjoyed seeing the further developments of the awkward Spider-Man, who is very similar to the one we all know from the comics. His romance with Mary Jane, played by Kristen Dunst, his relationship with the Osbourn’s after the ending of the first film, etc- it takes them and ups them.

I think the reason why this film is so beloved is because it best encapsulates the Spider-Man spirit, the train scene when Spider-Man has his mask off and is almost broken, but he just can’t give up saving lives, shows the reason why the character is loved as he is: honestly it is a very powerful scene on a par with the best emotional moments from the MCU for sure.

I also enjoyed the film’s version of Doctor Octopus, played by Alfred Molina, and the tragic fall that this narrative takes him on, we see him as this great scientist driven to an extreme, and who ultimately pays a heavy price for it. The character is evil and loathsome, but also somewhat relatable and sympathetic and that is what makes him such a good villain; I am very interested to see what Marvel can do with him in the upcoming No Way Home.

Overall, a film that truly understands the Spider-Man character and is magnificent because of it.

Pros.

Tobey McGuire

Tying up the lose ends of the first film

Doctor Octopus

Developing Peter and Mary Jane’s relationship

Cons.

A little bloated.

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Painkiller: Fresh Blood Within The Revenge Sub-Genre

Painkiller

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

The revenge genre has been done to death at this point, we have seen every single take on, man loses family and then goes to get payback, yet this film managed to surprise me. I enjoyed how the film brought the opioid epidemic, a very distressing real world issue, into the narrative as I felt it shed new light on it and how it effects people.

Bill Oberst Jr truly can do it all, he is the standout of the film here and makes every scene he is in. I think the acting across the board is top notch, as a result the film feels more believable and the world more like our own, as you stop seeing this as a fictional film and instead see it as real people dealing with very real world situations, or at least that’s how it felt for me.

My one issue with the film would be that it did not know when to end, as such the final act drags on and on. There are multiple times in the final half an hour where it looks like the film is ending, but then it carries on and on. A tighter edit was needed.

Overall, there is still fresh blood within the revenge film sub-genre.

Pros.

Bill Oberst Jr

Shedding light on the opioid epidemic

The emotions and the character work

The violence

Cons.

The ending and the bloat

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Justice Society World War II: I Think I Feel Asleep During This

Justice Society World War II

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

These days I am finding that a lot of the animated DC output is trapped in the meh zone, by that I mean it all just feels generic and samey, there is nothing to set one film apart from another. I used to love animated DC films when I was a kid, but recently I have been sorely disappointed, and this proves no exception.

None of the characters in this film felt likeable to me, and that is surprising considering that it is hard to make beloved superheroes unlikeable, yet they manage to find a way. The characters in this film range from boring and dull, to outright annoying.

The story feels uninspired also, are we not over the whole superheroes in history fad yet? Did Legends Of Tomorrow not entirely use up all the good ideas with the concept? Moreover, I felt myself getting so bored with this that my mind was starting to wander, and I was having a hard time paying attention.

Finally there are pacing issues galore here as well.

Overall, very meh, maybe if you were a DC diehard you might find something to enjoy here, but probably not.

Pros.

Matt Boomer is trying

Every scene with President Roosevelt

Cons.

The characters aren’t likeable

The premise is nothing we haven’t seen before

The animation feels samey

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Spider-Man: The Awkward Hero We All Need

Spider-Man

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

A part of me will always view Tobey McGuire’s Spider-Man as the one Spider-Man for me, he was the one I grew up on, the one I saw at the cinema when I was young, and though I did enjoy the darker Andrew Garfield version, and Tom Holland is fine, they can never hope to match the awkward charm of McGuire’s Peter Parker.

Raimi brings his very unique stylings to this film and it really helps to keep it fresh all these years later, watching Spider-Man cage fight whilst Bruce Campbell plays a cooler version of Vince McMahon is something I never knew I needed.

I also think McGuire is fantastic in the role, he feels like a believable nerd, which Garfield and Holland never did or do, and there is something of the awkward outsider in him that we can all relate to. Moreover, McGuire has a good deal of chemistry with Kristen Dunst who plays his on screen love interest Mary Jane Watson. Now say what you like about Sue Storm and Reed Richard, or the love triangle between Cyclops, Jean Gray and Wolverine, but when I think of romance in a Marvel story I think of Peter Parker and Mary Jane, this is why the chemistry is crucial- luckily this film has it covered.

Finally, whoever decided to cast odd ball Willem Dafoe as Green Goblin deserves an award, as he is the perfect version of that character: unrepentantly evil whilst also strange and darkly funny- perfect.

Overall, a fun goodtime that reminds us all of what is so lacking in today’s Spider-Man.

Pros.

McGuire

Raimi

Bruce Campbell

Willem Dafoe

Cons.

Uncle Ben dies yet again

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The Virtuoso: The Best Hitman Film We Have Ever Had

The Virtuoso

4.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

I wrote a tweet whilst watching this film in which I said something to the extent of this is the Hitman, as in the game, film that we never got. Though it has nothing to do with that IP beyond having a similar premise, it just feels so much in the spirit of those games, with a very similar aesthetic so it had to be mentioned.

I have been a fan of Anson Mount for some time, and I am glad to see him getting lead roles- he is very talented, and he really sells the character here. Whether it is the fake smiling scenes where the character forces himself to smile to blend in, or the scenes where he is having a breakdown for the collateral damage left in his wake Mount really pulls off the emotion in a convincing way.

Mount is perfectly matched by Abbie Cornish and Anthony Hopkins, who though feature less prominently both have significant characters that make an impression on you. I thought the monologue with Hopkin’s character when he was talking about committing a war crime during his days in Vietnam was particularly disturbing and well done.

I enjoyed both the action as well as the twists and turns of the plot, I think as an action thriller film this film excels. My one complaint would be the ending however, as I felt the betrayal came out of nowhere and I didn’t like how easily this expert assassin character was killed, it felt disappointing and more than a little cheap.

Overall, a very solid action film, well worth a watch.

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The Grey: A Wild And Savage Soul

The Grey

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

This film separates itself from the wider bulk of Liam Neeson’s work, by having a more soulful, philosophical edge- contemplating the human condition, and the reasons why we carry on. Yes, there is brutal action as well, as you would expect from a Neeson flick, but here it is done more thoughtfully. I think for the most part, the emotional themes and the action blend together well, however it does lead to a few pacing issues.

The pacing issues really come into effect in the film’s second act which starts to drag. This section really needed more action than it has and is the only real time where the weighty themes start to get in the way of the actual fight for survival.

I think as a character piece this works well, the struggle of Neeson’s lead is not only familiar but also deeply personal, many who have gone through a similar situation can understand and connect. Moreover, the final scene where Neeson’s character embraces his death and stands proud ready to fight the wolf pack that has been pursuing the band over the course of the film feels right, as well as earnt. The desperate futility of the situation is beautifully macabre

Overall, a surprisingly deep Neeson flick.

Pros.

Neeson

The character work

The ending

Cons.

The pacing

A slight clash between themes and what’s on screen

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Mortal Kombat: Cringe-ality

Mortal Kombat

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

A while ago I wrote that the images/ trailers we had seen from the new Mortal Kombat film looked like a fan film rather than a multi-million dollar Hollywood blockbuster, and now that I have seen the film I can say that this doesn’t just apply to the promo material but rather the whole film.

There is promise to be found here, the film clearly has a lot of love towards the games and tries to cram in as much as possible on that front. As well the film also boasts some quite well done fight scenes that are nice to look at, however the legendary fatalities of the games, that have inspired generations of shocked and outraged parents, here feel quite tame and almost gimmicky at times.

Moreover, the casting for a lot of the characters is off. I understand that the film doesn’t want to be a blatant copy of the games, but a lot of the characters here don’t look in any way similar to their game counter-parts sometimes to a distracting degree. It almost, to get back to that fan film angle, feels like a group of friends re-enacting their favourite scenes over one long weekend in early September.

Finally, and perhaps worst of all, the writing is far too try hardy and often falls into the category of cringe. Many of the classic lines from the games are featured here, but they do not feel organic to the story or the situation instead they feel forced in for the sake of fan service.

Overall, on the bad side of meh entertaining enough for a one off viewing, but it will be almost immediately forgotten afterwards.

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