Archenemy: Never Doubt A Story Told To You By A Homeless Man Punching A Wall

Archenemy is a superhero mystery thriller film directed by Adam Egypt Mortimer. The plot follows Max Fist (Joe Manganiello), a superpowered being from another plane of reality who is thrust into our world after an attempt to save his world. Once waking up in out world Max realises he can’t get back, he also realises that no one believes him about who he is, apart from a young budding journalist called Hamster (Skylan Brooks).

I loved this film far, far more than I thought I was going to. I am a big fan of Manganiello already, but he was perfect here unlike some of his other roles he did not just play the brawn here, yes that is a part of his character, but he so much more complex with that. Until the end of the film you are never quite sure whether Max is who he claims to be or whether he is mentally ill, the emotional delivery of his performance goes from charming and gruffly likeable, to cold and chilling and back again Manganiello really delivers on the range.

Moreover, Glenn Howerton of Always Sunny fame is also in this film as a sub antagonist and he too is really strong. I have only really seen Howerton in comedic roles for the most part, but this showed me that he can do drama too.

I also liked the aesthetic of the film as well, I thought the transitions between comic book, animated flashbacks and live action was beautifully done and implemented well throughout.

My one complaint of the film would be that Hamster and his sister are dull, they really are. Whenever they are on-screen you immediately want to get back to Manganiello, which is a shame for them as they are trying their best, but they are outacted here for sure.

Overall, one of the best and most surprising films I have seen this year, definitely check it out.

Pros.

Manganiello

Howerton

The blending of animation and live action

The story and the ending

Cons.

The siblings were a weak link

4.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Christmas Chronicles: Santa Claus Likes To Risk The Lives Of Children To Teach Them A Hard To Understand Lesson

The Christmas Chronicles is a Christmas comedy film directed by Clay Kaytis. The plot sees two kids accidentally force Santa Claus (Kurt Russell), into a situation where he loses his bag of presents and his reindeer, together they must act to save Christmas.

Much like the other Santa Claus film I have reviewed recently, this film is made by its lead. The kids in this film are actually quite irritating and annoying, the little girl especially, but thanks to the pure magnetism of Russell and the amount of fun he is having in the role you forget about them and begin to enjoy the film.
In that vein this film feels like the best of Russell all crammed together into a slightly under two hour parcel, you have a sing song which is actually quite good, a car chases (in an American muscle car), and of course heart and sentimentality. He really is on top form.

As far as Christmas films go I enjoyed this, annoying kids aside. I thought it was a fun adventure and I had fun watching. Yes, it was a little annoying when at the end of the film Santa revealed that he could have basically fixed everything at the start of the film, but didn’t to teach the kids a lesson, but again the ride was fun even if the ending wasn’t great.

Overall, made good by Russell but far from perfect.

Pros.

Russell

The ride

There were some laughs to be had (though I don’t know how intentional they were)

Cons.

The kids

The ending
3/5

Reviewed by Luke

Anything For Jackson: Demons Are Surprisingly Flexible, Who Knew They Had Yoga In Hell

Anything For Jackson is a horror film directed by Justin G. Dyck. The plot follows an elder couple of devil worshippers who kidnap a pregnant women to use as a bargaining chip in the demonic resurrection of their dead Grandson.

This film really is a testament to the use of practical effects. The demons in this film are genuinely menacing, more so than anything I have seen in recent memory, why? Well because they seem all too real. The main two demons that I would like to draw attention to are the tall ghost demon, I like how they played around with the size, and of course the contortionist main demon who quite frankly was unlike anything I have ever seen before in a horror film- truly chilling.

I enjoyed the empathises this film placed on creating scares through its atmosphere. The film manages to a have a few good jump scares that don’t feel manufactured and that come about organically because of the tense atmosphere, the early resurrection of the bird would be a good example.

My issues with the film are only slight. Firstly, the first act is too slow, I understand it is establishing a lot of things, but it does become a slog after a while, luckily the film quickly rectifies this. Secondly, the central couple were fine but did not blow me away, anyone else could have played those roles.

Overall, this is a very strong, very original horror film that you need to see as it is trying something new and different and pulling it off to great effect.

Pros.

The demons

The scares

The ending

The atmosphere

Cons.

The first act

The main couple were bland

3.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Santa Clause 2: Santa Is On Tinder Will You Swipe Right?

The Santa Claus 2 is a Christmas, fantasy, comedy film directed by Michael Lembeck. The plot this time around sees Scott Calvin (Tim Allen), face the prospect of not being Santa Claus anymore after a clause is found within this contract that says that Father Christmas can’t be a bachelor: so as a result of this Jolly Old Saint Nick has to join the dating game and find a wife before the end of Christmas Eve.

The dating plotline in this film is troublesome for a number of reasons. Firstly, it is unlikely that either party could fall in love within such a short space of time, which means it is more likely that Scott is just using her to carry on being Santa Claus. Moreover, Carol (Elizabeth Mitchell), is just expected to uproot her life and move to the North Pole, which seems like a big ask, but hey the film just shows it as normal. Finally, old, fat Santa Claus can’t be with someone of equal footing, no that would not do with the Hollywood standard, of course it only makes sense for Santa Claus to be with someone who could be a supermodel if she chose another profession and she has to settle; what sort of message is that sending?

That aside.

I enjoyed the other plotline of Santa Clause 2, which is while Scott is off preying on vulnerable women, he is replaced by a toy replica Santa Claus who obviously becomes corrupt and evil. It amused me how far the film went in this absurdist direction even having the new evil Santa dressed up in fascist looking attire and creating secret police at one point. As I said in my previous Santa Claus review the dark plot undertones are the best parts of these films.

Once again Tim Allen is a strong lead, and despite the dating plotline being a bit sketchy we still enjoy seeing him on screen; he has a great presences. He very much anchors this film and it performance hinges on him and how you feel about his version of Chris Cringle.

Overall, the icky dating plotline stops this film from getting higher, but I enjoyed Tim Allen and the absurdist nature of the film and it made me laugh quite a few time. A mixed bag ultimately.

Pros.

Evil Santa

Tim Allen

It is funny

Cons.

The dating plotline

The sudden and unexplained character change in the son/ making him an angsty teen

3.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Boss Baby: I’m Pretty Sure This Kid Is The Antichrist

The Boss Baby is an animated family comedy film directed by Tom McGrath. The plot sees a family welcome a new baby into their lives, however there is something different about this baby he wears a suit and talks on the phone: he is a boss baby.

I truly do believe to enjoy or even understand this film you need a degree in some field of high concept science, as the logic of this film is nowhere to be found. Normally, I would not go after the logic of a kid’s film, but this is particularly egregious. It almost feels at times like the film is going out of its way to make itself more confusing then it already is, it piles on more and more baby lore until you reach a giving up point.

By making the film so convoluted and over the top it removes a sense of relatability the film might have for parents who remember what is it like to have a new baby or for children who remember when their parents brought their sibling home from the hospital. To that end, once the bright colours, and the vapid jokes about poo and things like that are over there is nothing left for the kids to enjoy, they too will see its hollowness.

Alec Baldwin is okay as the titular Boss Baby, he is serviceable, but this is not one of his better 2010 era roles. Furthermore, it is nice to see Tobey McGuire return to our screens even if it is just as a voice over narrator it has been too long.

Overall, I fail to see how this was popular, it takes itself far too seriously and makes things far too complicated baffling viewers whilst simultaneously putting them off the film.
Pros.

Baldwin and McGuire

Cons.

It is too complicated

The jokes aren’t funny

Most of the characters are irritating and not relatable or likeable in any way

It wastes its wider supporting cast

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

Castle Freak: A Collection Of The Most Unlikable Characters Ever Put To Film

Castle Freak is a horror film directed by Tate Steinsiek based on the H.P Lovecraft short story The Outsider. The plot follows Rebecca (Clair Catherine), a recently blind girl who travels to Albania after learning that her birth mother, who has recently died, has left her a castle. Naturally the circumstance around the mother’s death are shrouded in mystery and inferences of the supernatural.

Horror is my favourite genre; I have watched a lot of horror films in my time which makes what I am about to say all the more impactful: the characters in this film might be some of the most unlikeable and unpleasant protagonists in the history of the genre. Even the lead Rebecca is at best irritating, the cast for the most part seem to be a reflection on the worst parts of society, and I don’t know if this was done by choice, but I will assume not. It would make no sense if this was deliberate as you would and do end up feeling nothing when the characters are slaughtered later in the film, quite a large flaw.

Moreover, I am no prude when it comes to nudity, but I think this was a tad excessive. There is nothing wrong with a tastefully done nude scene, but here we have scenes that serve no narrative purpose other than to show off the bodies of the female stars, which frankly feels more than a little exploitative to me.

The gore and the kills are serviceable to good, but that is not enough to make up for the films many other shortcomings.

Pros.

The gore and the kills

Cons.

The characters are unlikeable

The first act is incredibly slow

They just dump a bunch of Old Gods information through exposition on the audience at the start of the second act, I found this confusing

The nudity seems a bit much

1/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Great Outdoors: Icky Homemade Sex Tapes

The Great Outdoors is a comedy film directed by Howard Dutch. The plot sees two families spending time together on holiday, however, one half of the family was not invited. Comedy, misunderstandings, and forgiveness ensue.

My thoughts on the work of John Hughes have been well documented, I often find them troublesome whether it is from the use of stereotypes or the more questionable sexual undertones, I find them reproachable. I understand that a lot of people love them because they grew up with them, and they will call me names and imply things about my politics for daring to suggest that maybe Hughes wasn’t as great as they remember, but hey these are my reviews.

Though Hughes only serves as a writer here you can feel his fingerprints all over the film.
Namely this comes through in the first scene where the two brother (John Candy and Dan Aykroyd), meet and there is a slightly uncomfortable scene with Aykroyd’s character recording his brother and his wife during an intermate moment for some kind of prank, I understand for the time this would be normal and not suspect but looking back on it now with a 2020 lens I would be remiss to not mention it.

The comedy comes and goes for me, it made me chuckle a few times throughout, but for the most part the comedy missed the mark with me and often left me cold; however, as I always say comedy is subjective. Personally, I didn’t find the slapstick funny if anything I found it cheap.

Candy is a likeable enough lead, he is easy to root to and warm to, Aykroyd on the other hand comes across as an arsehole, I understand by design but by the end of the film we are supposed to buy that as a character he has changed, he has reformed, yet we are given evidence right up until the closing frame that, no he hasn’t, which in turn makes the ending feel unearned.

Overall, a fairly standard to weak comedy

Pros.

Candy

A few funny jokes

Cons.

Aykroyd

A lot of the jokes don’t land

A few iffy moments

It is very familiar

2/5

Reviewed by Luke

Ham, A Musical Memoir: An Ode To The Past

HAM: A Musical Memoir is a biographical, comedy, musical film directed by Andrew Putschoegl. The film serves to tell the story of Sam Harris’ rise to fame.

This is a very effecting film, in multiple sense of the word. While watching it I became fascinated with this persons rise to stardom, not only was I rooting for them I also became invested in them as a person.

During my time with the film I was frequently smiling, also there were quite a large amount of laughs to be had over the run time as well; not laugh out loud sorts of laughs but definitely a few strong chuckles. Moreover, the complexity of this film’s emotion transitions comedy and becomes something more. Quite a few times while watching I could feel the film pulling on my heart strings, I found the character plight effecting, the film did not need to be overt in this, it never felt manipulative with its emotional delivery, yet it had a strong impact.
I also enjoyed the musical elements of this film I thought they worked well and added a nice flavour to the standard biopic format. I think in many ways this film seems destined to change the format of the biopic genre as a whole or at least pump some fresh blood into it, as it takes the best elements of something like Rocketman and distils them into a more refined product.

Overall, a must watch, it will make you laugh it will make you cry and most importantly it is a great way to kill a few hours.

Pros.

It is funny

It nails the emotion

I was invested in the story

The musical elements work well

Cons.

The first act is quite slow

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

The Stand-In: Praising And Rewarding Sociopaths

The Stand In is a comedy drama film directed by Jamie Babbit. The plot follows a disgraced Hollywood comedy star and her double switching places, both are played by Drew Barrymore.

A lot of the responses I have seen to this film have been negative, and my own was likewise inclined. I think the main issue with this film is the fact that it is mean spirited. There will be a few light spoilers here to help me make my point so be forewarned.

From how I understood the film we are supposed to root for both characters the past her prime actor and the stand in, this is hard however, when the stand in treats the real actors like trash. The stand in abuses the real actor emotionally multiple times and goes out of her way to sabotage her life so she can get what she wants, and I guess that catches up to her in the end, but it makes her deeply unlikeable.

The jokes here don’t work, but as I always say comedy is subjective. I found the film to be more of a drama than a comedy especially towards the midpoint of the film, it felt to me more like a commentary on stardom and what comes after. The jokes again feel mean spirited and at the expense of someone who clearly has problems which makes them hard to laugh at.

Finally, I don’t like seeing T.J Miller in the film, mainly because he isn’t funny at when he tries to be it goes horribly the other way, but also because he is a terrible person and should not be cast.

Overall, this is the definition of a misfire.

Pros.

Barrymore is trying

Cons.

It is misguided

It is not funny

It is meanspirited

Casting T.J Miller

0.5/5 (Close to a zero, but Barrymore saved it)

Reviewed by Luke

Blood Vessel: If There Is One Thing We Know It Is That Nazi’s Love The Occult

Blood Vessel is a horror film directed by Justin Dix. The plot sees a group of survivors adrift at sea during the closing days of WW2, they have abandoned hope of being rescued that is until they find a deserted Nazi war ship pass them by.

This film is a perfect example of subverting expectations in a smart way. When I first put this film on, I thought that it was going to be a ghost ship and that one of the survivors would probably go crazy and start hunting down the rest, turning the film into a sea-based slasher film. However, there is a reveal midway through the film, that I won’t spoil as I think it is worth seeing fresh, that totally takes things in another direction.

The lore of said reveal is quickly set up and is surprisingly in-depth, the film manages to tell us a lot about what is going on and who is doing it without giving us a lot of boring slow exposition. The gore and the kills are strong, gore fans will be pleased to hear, with an excellent and bloody final showdown to boot; the ending itself perfectly sets up a continuation of the horror.

My one complaint would be that none of the characters were particularly interesting and for the most part felt like standard war time cliches.

Pros.

The horror

The reveal

The lore

The ending

Cons.

The characters are all quite forgettable

4/5

Reviewed by Luke