London Has Fallen: The Only Person Who Can Save Britain Is An American, Apparently

London Has Fallen

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

I wanted a trashy action film and by god this film delivered. Now I am not saying this film is good by any means, it is dumb, and more than a little racist, but as a film to turn your mind off to you could do worse.

The main issue with this film is its rather obvious xenophobia, the film seems to have a distain for anyone who is not American, even showing the British people who help the lead as being subservient as no one can be as good as an American soldier. Moreover, there are a good few lines in here that are straight up racist which makes this film a little uncomfortable to watch.

Butler is serviceable enough in the lead, but his accent keeps slipping and it is annoying and jarring: one minute he will have an American accent next it will be back to his native Scottish- pick one and stick with it, it worked for Connery.

I thought this film was fun in a dumb, turn your brain off and watch people explode sort of way. I was entertained and I thought the films action scenes were well done feeling very real.

Overall, mindless entertainment lacking anything more, with racist moments and accent slips that make finishing the film hard.

Pros.

The action

The dumb spectacle

Cons.

Butler’s accent

The racism

The ending

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Star Wars Rebels: Series Overview

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

I enjoyed watching Clone Wars, so I thought I would give this series a go and I have to say it was even better. I think from being one complete narrative that plays in order and has a central group of characters to focus on this show manages to take all the best parts from Clone Wars an expand them.

If you remember from my series overview of Clone Wars the two things that bothered me about that show were, how it jumped around in time and in and out of episode order as well as how it would have multi episode asides focusing on characters no one really cared about, neither of these issues this show. There are a few droid episodes that are a little weak, but they still tie in and feel like they have a place within the wider story.

The best thing this show does is expanding the Star Wars universe outward, building on pre-existing characters and ideas whilst also adding new characters and ideas. When I first began watching the show I wasn’t a huge fan of Ezra, in fact I found the character annoying, but as the show went on he grew on me and the same was true of a lot of other characters to a point that by the end I was sad to say goodbye.

A personal highlight for me was seeing Rex, Ahsoka and Maul crossover into this show, I thought the series really came alive when they featured heavily in episodes.

Overall, a wonderful piece of Star Wars content for new and returning fans alike.

Pros.

The crossover characters

Expanding Star Wars cannon

Everything with the Inquisitors

The surprisingly emotional ending

Cons.

A few weaker episodes that were not focused on the main cast of characters

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In The Earth: Prophecies Of Doom For The Future Of The Pandemic

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

I’ve been looking forward to the new Ben Wheatley, lockdown, horror film for some time and now that it is here I am mixed. There are strong points to the film like the performances and the wider mythology set up, however that is underpinned by an extreme sense of pretentiousness and an ending that doesn’t make a lick of sense.

I easily think the best thing about this film is the performance from Reese Shearsmith who plays unhinged with an air of charm and homeliness so well that it is frightening whenever he is on screen the film really comes alive. The main duo are also very serviceable, but never really match Shearsmith.

Moreover, I enjoyed the focus on creating a new British myth, derived from older tales and a shared idea of the creepiness that can be found in wooded areas across the world. I thought the monster, if you can call it that, was interesting and I thought it was a wise decision to never show it and leave even its existence shrouded in mystery and ambiguity.

Where the film starts to fall apart is in it’s third act. At this point the film stops making sense and things just happen and we the audience are just supposed to go along with it and accept them; including but not limited to the film’s abrupt end that leaves more questions than answers. Moreover, it is also in this part of the film were the quasi-religious and certainly overly pretentious dialogue reaches a fever pitch and starts to become irritating.

Overall, the sensibilities of Kill List are there, but they have been perverted by art house ego.

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Stoaway: You Too Would Prefer The Cold Embrace Of Space To A Viewing Of This Film

Stowaway

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Netflix and generic science fiction are starting to become one in the same. All of Netflix’s science fiction output looks the same, blues and blacks with a heavy shadow over everything, they have the same plotlines and ask the same questions and they all have a shared sense of smugness wherein they view themselves as deeper and more poignant then they actually are.

I don’t know if I have just become jaded but I long for the days when films used to surprise me and used to take risks and do something shocking- now it is all just the same. I could accurately predict the events of this film from the first ten minutes of it, I could even work out who would make the ultimate sacrifice in the end, it was all blindingly obvious.

On that note, the worst performance in this film comes from Anna Kendrick- easily. NASA and various other space agencies train people for how to deal with situations in space and they wouldn’t send someone up who would, at first chance, immediately go against all that and do what they personally thought was right. The characters lofty sense of moral superiority is woefully short sighted as by her own actions she is condemning the lives of those around her, and even with the price her character pays, it doesn’t change the fact instead it just pushes her own virtue further; in a frankly insufferable way.

Overall, I think I will be more picky when selecting to watch Netflix originals in the future

Pros.

Toni Collette and Daniel Day Kim are trying

Cons.

Anna Kendrick

It feels samey

It is predicatable

The story makes no sense and is riddled with plot holes, that get deeper the more you think about them.

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Spiral: Another Comedian Turns Serious

Spiral, From The Book Of Saw

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

I had not planned to return to cinemas after this latest bit of lockdown, but one thing led to another and I ended up seeing this film. My thoughts on the Saw series are well documented, I thought the series ran itself into the ground somewhere around the fourth or fifth film with everything after that being borderline unwatchable. Jigsaw tried to take the series back to what made it good- the man himself, but even that failed to get more out of me than a meh.

I think this film had some of the same issues as the other films, but also managed to be fun enough that you can ignore them. The issues with this film was all on the writing front, the mystery is blatantly obvious, and the twist is easy to figure out midway through the film. Moreover, much like everything after the third film, this is very much in the shadow of John Kramer’s jigsaw and the series is still trying to fill the void with ‘imitators’, but once again they can’t compare.

I enjoyed Chris Rock as the lead in this film he gives a fairly competent turn and manages to sell both the drama and the comedy- he made me laugh quite a few times throughout the film. Likewise Samuel L. Jackson steals the screen whenever he is on it, and though his character isn’t given a ton to do he strengthens the film immensely.

I found this film perfectly got the essence of the traps down to a tee. They were not overly gory or clearly done for shock value, yet they were intense and wince inducing- just as you would want them to be. Furthermore, there aren’t that many traps actually in the film, which on paper seems like a bad thing but in execution actually makes the few we get to see in the film even better and more significant.

Overall, the best thing to come out of the Saw franchise in well over a decade.

Pros.

Rock

Jackson

The traps

The ending

Cons.

The mystery and the twist are poor

It is still trying to fill that Jigsaw void

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Mainstream: The Product Of A Society That Has Lost It’s Way In It’s Blind Devotion To All Things Celebrity

Mainstream

4.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

This was a very positive surprise. Not only did I find the societal message of this film to be surprisingly insightful, I also thought it boasted a very talented cast that really came together to make the film something special.

I have been saying for a while that Maya Hawke was going to go on to be a phenomenal talent; the last season of Stranger Things was all the proof I needed, but this film proves it beyond any doubt. Even with such praise, she is not the standout of the film, though she does give an electric performance. The standout of the film is Andrew Garfield as the mysterious Link, who seems to exist outside the standard society we all find ourselves in and who uses this edge to become a Youtube sensation. Garfield is simply outstanding in the role, he manages to be both charming and also terrifying at the same time and you don’t know how to feel towards him as a result; he is a monster, but at the same time you want to see him win. I think it may be the performance of Garfield’s career so far.

Likewise the message of the film spoke to me. I think this idea of lampooning influencer culture and pointing out all the harm it does to people, only then to become sucked into that world and addicted to the fame and money it provides to be a deeply intriguing point of exploration. I think though the film’s ending is a little muddled, I like how the film ends and responds to it’s own message and teachings.

The only point of criticism I would give this film is that I felt the love triangle was needless. There is a romance plot line, that turns into a love triangle for the drama, in this film that feels forced in, I suppose it is done under the guise of character development, but really it just feels like filler. Luckily this is kept to a minimum.

Overall, an incredibly strong film that needs to be seen.

Pros.

Garfield

The style

The message

The conflicting emotions you feel watching it

Cons.

The love triangle

The ending could be structured better

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For Those Who Want Me Dead: Theron Would Have Been A Better Lead. AKA I’m Worried About The Eternals Now

For Those Who Wish Me Dead

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

I am a big fan of Taylor Sheridan- he is one of the best screen writers of our age and is up there with Sorkin. As such when I heard of this film I was intrigued and wanted to watch it, and now that I have, though it is good, I found it to be disappointing. I found the film itself to be fairly breezy action fun, but the ending was slightly anti-climactic: especially the parts of the final fight involving Angelina Jolie’s main character.

For the most part Jolie’s character does very little beyond be there and run occasionally, a lot of the things happen around her and she has little involvement in actually progressing the narrative at all; besides killing the final bad guy at the end. Jolie who used to be an action hero is surprisingly passive here also, and honestly doesn’t seem like she is trying.

Aside from Jolie the rest of the cast come together nicely with Aiden Gillen almost certainly being the standout. The action for the most part is intense and well-choreographed, with some nice gore in the later stages.

Personally I think this film would have been better had the lead actually had something to do, beyond being sad about something in her past and vaguely bonding with a child.

Overall, good but still a slip for Sheridan.

Pros.

Gillen

The action

The vistas and the cinematography

Cons.

The passive lead

Jolie

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The Oak Room: You Will Believe, And Probably Guess What Happens In The Oak Room

The Oak Room

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Haven’t we been here before? Though I enjoyed this film’s gothic, small town appeal I think it could have done with some fresh ideas. How many times have we had the return to one’s place of birth to settle an old debt storyline? Come on now, move on.

The performances are mostly good across the board, there are a few moments where the actors slip up and you can see through their performances which takes you out of the film, but for the most part this isn’t a thing, and the performances are strong across the piece.

I think the best thing about this film is it’s sense of style, the horror of the small town is always nice to explore there is something personable and relatable in it and it speaks true regardless of period, story or characters. Moreover, there is a clear gothic inspiration here that also definitely helps boost the film from a stylistic perspective.

Overall, a stylistically interesting film, but one that suffers from being more of the same.

Pros.

The gothic influence

The horrors of the small town

The ending

Cons.

It is overly familiar

There are several moments when actors slip up and it breaks the immersion

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The Bad Batch: Replacements

Star Wars The Bad Batch: Replacements

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

I think of the 3 episodes so far this was the weakest. There was an air of filler to it. The main clone band find themselves trapped on a desolate planet and only Omega can save them: which is beyond dumb as these are expert soldiers and they can’t repair the ship and go and fight the creature at the same time. Moreover, this young child without any combat experience can not only survive a run in with this beast but best it- yeah the story telling is really clutching at straws trying to explain this.

They advance the Crosshair storyline, and it is this part of the episode that scores the points in this review. Crosshair becomes even more irredeemably bad, clearly he will turn back to the good side later, but for now they are really exploring the depths of what you can get away with in what is basically a kids show.

Overall, though I find this series watchable, and it is nice to see new Star Wars content, it really has yet to find its stride and has entered a period of stagnation after the first episode.

Pros

Crosshair

The darker moments

Cons.

The filler main story

Everything with Omega

It still feels directionless

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Outcast: Nicolas Cage’s Weirdest Haircut Yet

Outcast

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

So I put this on for two reasons, Nicolas Cage and Hayden Christensen. Cage is barely in this film after the opening 5 minutes appearing what feels like hours later, but is in fact less, to be present for the final fight- clearly a pay check role for him. Christensen fares better and has some good fight scenes that at least make his character some what memorable.

Liu Yifei is in this film- yes that is the woman with the terrible views on freedom and who stared in the recent Mulan live action film: she is okay but does not really have much to do here. What she and other characters do have to do however is spout weirdly clunky racist lines every now and again. Yes there are comments such as ‘white devils’ and ‘do white people actually bathe I’ve heard they don’t’, to paraphrase, thrown into this film, why? Who does this serve?

The only real pro I can give this film is that it has cool fight scenes, the fights themselves are well choreographed and look suitably impressive, however everything around and in-between them is dull, cliched and vaguely racist.

Overall, Cage and Christensen deserve better.

Pros.

The fight scenes are well done

Cons.

It is racist ‘

It is uninspired

It feels like a straight to DVD film in all the worst ways

The CGI in the first section is particularly terrible