Evil Everywhere: A Well Put Together Colour Pallet To Mask An Otherwise Average Film

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

I enjoyed the idea of an evil that kills in alphabetical order, the compulsive part of my brain enjoys the structure and the order to it. Furthermore, I enjoyed the pallet and the aesthetic of this film and I thought from a stylistic standpoint it was very striking, and vivid.

The actual plot of the film is fine, it has its moments, but it is mostly by the numbers. The same can be said of the acting, very average. There were a few moments that I found genuinely hilarious and that made me laugh out loud- though I doubt they were meant to.

The film has deep pacing issues, dragging out the first two acts to a point where they become boring and then skipping through most of the third to get to the end, which is sad as this is where the film finally starts to show off more of its potential.

Overall, the reason this film has got above average half marks is because it made me laugh, albeit it unintentionally.

Pros.

The humour

The style

The alphabetical killing

Cons.

The pacing

The acting

Very average

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Rare Beasts: A Takedown Of The Romantic Comedy?

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

This film was hectic, all over the place and oddly enthralling, there was something about this clear art piece that stopped you from being able to look away, even if you couldn’t tell what was going on.

Before, making further comments about the film I want to state and acknowledge for the record my place of male privilege. I think for me one of the biggest issues with this film is the fact that it too comes from a place of privilege, the tale of the character featured herein is not one that everyone can relate to, but rather one of a financially comfortable, professional. There is a huge degree of middle class privilege to this film that I think renders it out of touch before it even gets going.

Moreover, there are also a lot of first time director issues with this film too, such as audio issues and camera choices that not only prove distracting, but also make the film hard to follow. Whilst watching this I had to activity try and make sense out of some of the scenes that just didn’t, and also strain to hear important dialogue that is obscured over odd sound choices.

In terms of performances I think Billie Piper is strong I think is manages to capture a sense of manic energy that propels the film forward whilst also tapping into a deep well of pain and self-hate to pass comment on it. I thought the film as a whole felt very real and raw which was refreshing even if it was tinged with an unrealistic world view.

The humour for me was hit or miss, there were a few times I found myself laughing, but on the whole I was mostly unmoved by the humour of the film. Though as I often say humour is subjective.

Overall, an interesting conversation starter, but one that feels more and more hollow the further you look beneath the surface.

Pros.

Piper

The premise and the comment on rom-coms

A few funny jokes

Cons.

Clear middle class privilege

Odd framing and music choices

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Riders Of Justice: An Odd Sense Of Humour

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

This one really won’t be to a lot of people’s taste. This film is quite hard to categorise, it is not one specific genre, it has elements of action and drama, whilst also maintaining a pitch black sense of humour throughout: the elements work for the most part and only on a few occasions did I find them to be clashing.

This film goes to some very dark places that not everyone might be comfortable with, personally I found myself laughing a few times, when I probably shouldn’t have been, but this film spoke to my sense of humour.

The cast are all good and there is not a weak link amongst them. Mads Mikkelsen is as always great, he anchors this film, and his character is beautifully complicated, always surprising you and challenging your perceptions of him.

The main problem I found with this film, besides the occasionally jarring tone, was the pacing. This film is incredibly slow, there are big chunks of time where just nothing meaningful happens and you are left near tediously bored asking, nay begging for something to happen. The ending, however, goes the other way, and gives us action and spectacle, but seems to rush through it, not allowing us to savour the sequence.

Overall, your enjoyment of this film will be determined by your sense of humour and how long it takes you to get bored.

Pros.

The humour

Mikkelsen

Cons.

An acquired taste

The pacing issues

The uneven tone

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Army Of The Dead: A Zombie Tiger, Now I Really Have Seen Everything

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

This film was billed as the restoration of the zombie genre bringing it back to popularity- it is not that. Really, this is more of the same zombie killing action that you have seen done to death over the last ten years across all forms of media. Yes, there are some funny moments and some good knowingly cringe moments like playing the Cranberries song Zombie at the end, but even still it can’t make up for the fact that you have seen it all before.

The cast of characters are mostly forgettable, the only two who inspired any real interest were Lily and Martin and yet, they got killed before they had any real chance to grow into interesting characters- the same can be said for the rest. Not everyone needed to die to make this film feel dramatic.

I thought Bautista was fine as the lead, serviceable but not in any way memorable. Moreover, I found his daughter character to be extremely annoying and poorly written: she’s angry at her dad so she will willingly put her own life at risk to spite him, when the zombies are gearing up for an attack she runs outside, it is bafflingly dumb.

Additionally, I didn’t like the reveal that the zombie queen was pregnant when she died, I thought it was needless and in bad taste: more so when they cut her stomach open and pulled out her dead zombie baby. It left a bad taste in my mouth that is still taste as I am writing this review.

Finally, the runtime of this film makes it a slog. There is no reason this film needs to be over two hours, none, and yet it is.

The action and the cinematography are for the most part well done and visually pleasing, however I found that a lot of the concepts were not fully realised: there is a zombie tiger who other than killing off one character does very, very little and which could have been so much more.

Overall, the zombie genre is played out.

Pros.

The action

The cinematography

Cons.

The dead zombie baby

The runtime and staggering pacing issues

It is repetitive

None of the characters are allowed to be interesting

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Together Together: A Film Not Afraid To Laugh At Woody Allen

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

I enjoyed this film a lot, it was a nice surprise. I thought this film was very sweet, I enjoyed both characters and thought it was nice that the film did not force them into a romance but rather had them remain friends- it was refreshing. Moreover, I thought this film was very progressive and I liked what it did with gender roles, having the man really want to have a child and the woman being less so and wanting different things; it was nice to see.

I thought this film felt like the quirky comedies of Woody Allen, which is funny as the film finds time to mock him, another brilliant moment. I thought the film wasn’t hilarious but was instead charming and very warm: it made me smile a lot.

I think this may be Ed Helms best role to date, and he totally changed the way I view him as a performer.

Overall, this may be a film that you might be sleeping on, don’t, this was one of the best surprises I have had all year check it out.

Pros.

Helms

The gender roles

Keeping the leads friends

The charm

Cons.

It wasn’t hilarious

The Bad Batch: Cornered

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

I am starting to become concerned now. This show has been going for four episode yet so little has happened and the direction this series is heading in seems even less clear now then it did a few episodes before.

Why was Fennec Shand brought into this episode/ storyline, when it would have made so much more sense to have Crosshair be the bounty hunter tracking down the Bad Batch? To answer my own question it was simply to act as fan service, to bait nostalgia and be like ‘remember her from the Mandalorian’. Now there is nothing wrong with fan service done right, but when it is done in such a way where it feels like it is stopping the development of the other characters in the show, Crosshair, then it becomes a problem for me.

Moreover, this episode, much like the last, felt very filler to me. It seems that maybe the series as a whole is having some pacing issues or maybe the fourteen episode order was a bit too much, but for whatever reason we are getting a lot of these little one off episodes where nothing of any real consequence happens and you are left feeling bored.

If I had to give the episode a pro it would be the action, specifically the sequence set in the hover traffic, I found that quite entertaining to watch and thought it was shot well.

Overall, I am starting to lose hope for this series, we need something big to happen soon.

Pros.

The action

The tease for more to come

Cons.

Nothing really happened

It feels like filler

The wrong kind of fan service

If you enjoyed this review, then please head over to my Patreon to support me, I offer personalized shoutouts, one on one Q and As, the ability for you to tell me what to review next. And access to my game review catalogue Check it out!

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Things Heard And Seen: If The Sky Is Orange Don’t Get On Your Boat

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

I had high hopes for this film from the Netflix preview, sadly it did not live up to them at all. The biggest issue with this film is that it is a cliché wrapped in a stereotype, there is nothing new or innovative about it. You have seen this film before time and time again and can guess what is going to happen before it happens as it is so formulaic.

Firstly I will say my only pro for the film, it is not out and out bad, it is watchable if you don’t mind being bored. However, that is where the pros end. The acting across the board is very average, deeply so, not one of the actors gives anything even barely resembling a good performance: the only one that could be argued for being on the better side, F. Murray Abraham, is side-lined and then killed off- as this film can’t allow anything other than average.

Moreover the horror/thriller aspects of this film are also incredibly weak, the supernatural aspect feels half baked, and the human horror feels done before, and done better at that. I was so unfazed by the spectacles on display in this film that I almost immediately forget about it after I finished watching it.

Overall, this is yet another film to add to Netflix’s ever growing catalogue of beige.

Pros.

F. Murray Abraham is trying his best

It is watchable

Cons.

It is dull, repetitive, and has been done better before

Most of the actors clearly aren’t trying

The ending is insanely predictable

The supernatural stuff goes nowhere and is poorly explained

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The Secret Life Of Pets 2: Animal Abuse

The Secret Life Of Pets 2

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

This film was so dull and uninspired that I almost turned it off. I have at length in the past said that I prefer bad films to boring ones, because even if the film is bad sometimes it is still fun to watch; boring films are never fun to watch.

I thought this film would be better than the first one for the simple fact that it didn’t have alleged abuser Louise C. K in it anymore, and though that is true, Patton Oswald still can’t make the film any better. The voice cast in this film really struggles to connect, Kevin Hart and Tiffany Haddish are playing animal versions of themselves, and everyone else just feels like they are there for a quick pay day.

The film feels like it is trying to have an emotional impact, yet it fails badly. This film felt like it was just repeating the same emotional beats as other films yet done in a worse way that felt less impactful and ultimately was forgotten about quicker.

I thought the biggest sin of this film was the fact that it had so many sub plots and side stories that it quickly became confused and muddled, made worse by the fact that a lot of these were dull to the point of tedium.

Overall, mildly better than the first film but still a far cry from a good, animated film.

Pros

Slightly more entertaining

Still mercifully short

Cons.

Boring

Predictable

Muddled

Interview: Blade King Voice Over Artist

Hey Everyone, I recently had the chance to chat to voice actor Blade King about what life is like as a VO artist, in the interview we talk about life on set, breaking into the industry and fond memories.

Q: How did you get into voice acting, what is your origin story?

A: Well I guess it starts with my unique ability to understand others as well as the ability to blend into the crowd at a moment’s notice.

Q: What was your first voice over project and how did/ do you feel about it now Vs then?

A: Nothing really big or out there, which is why I’m looking for something interesting and I’m down with almost anything, and I’d say it makes me feel unique no matter how small the part.

Q: If you could go back in time to when you were first starting out what would your advice to yourself be?

A: I’d have to say, be more confident and comfortable in your own abilities and use your traits to become a better you.

Q: How would you describe the process of being a voice actor?

A: I’d say slow if you are just starting out, but with the right kick can get you somewhere.

Q: What is a typical day on set like for you?

A: A typical day currently would be waking up next to my fiance and my baby daughter and seeing my baby girl grow each day.

Q: What was your best VO experience and what was your worst?

A: I’d have say VO ING with my friends on small projects

Q: Do you have any funny stories?

A: It would have to be how I can be pretty awkward at times when people meet me for the first time, lol one time someone caught me in a pic looking like a t-rex, I do not take super good photos when. I don’t know about it.

Q: Future plans/ where can people see you next?

A: well I’ll have to say it depends on you and the people who gives me the time of day I suppose lol.

If you enjoyed this Interview, then please head over to my Patreon to support me, I offer personalized shoutouts, one on one Q and As, the ability for you to tell me what to review next. And access to my game review catalogue Check it out!

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Meet The Blacks: Lazy

Meet The Blacks

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

This film did have some funny moments, despite what you may have heard. Though I would not say it was a laugh a minute, I also wouldn’t say that this film is as bad as it has been described; it made me laugh a few times and was an entertaining enough way to spend an evening.

The Purge parody I didn’t really understand? If there was a reason for doing it the film did not explain it. In terms of parody it was again okay, it was not as bad as the worst moments of the Movie films, nor was it as good as the better moments from the Movie films, it was all very average.

There isn’t a huge amount to say about this film as it is just deeply average. The performances weren’t great but then you never imagined they were going to be, it feels like a bunch of performers getting together and just goofing around and getting paid for it, which sadly doesn’t make the film fun or funny in the long run.

Overall, incredibly average, you can do much better than this film, but you can also do much worse.

Pros.

It is very watchable

A few funny jokes

Cons.

Most of the jokes don’t land

The parody seems a little pointless

It is very generic

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