The Block Island Sound: Aliens Or Just A Deeply Pretentious Writer?

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Something is going wrong in the ocean that is leading to fishermen losing their minds and attacking those around them.

I thought this film had some interesting ideas but that ultimately its slow pace and pretentious ending brought it plummeting back down to Earth. I liked the polysemic reading of what the threat was, it was never entirely clear and for the most part was left up to your interpretation. Even the ending that did to a degree say what was going on we are still never clearly shown anything so the answers still remain mysterious.

The threat and tension of the film come when the characters have black outs and act in strange and often violent ways. I thought that this was a concept that the film played with well and developed to an interesting degree. Though maybe there is a degree of othering happening with regards to how this film is presenting mental health. If read as there are no aliens or whatever is going on and the characters are simply suffering from a mental illness then the way the film presents it becomes quite insulting.

Furthermore, the biggest issue this film suffers with is pacing. As we approached the hour mark I was done with it, I had had my fun and was ready to move on with my evening, I thought the film was about to end, then it kept going. Honestly the pacing in this film has you turning off after about the first hour as it builds and builds and builds to what looks like an ending but no its just a midway point, then then rest of the film is dragged on.

Finally, the ending in which it seems the whole film is some sort of eco message is beyond pretentious but that is low hanging fruit so I won’t go after that.

Overall, a mixed bag but not one that can keep you invested for the runtime.

Pros.

An interesting concept

Good tension

The mystery

Cons.

The ending

The pacing

The mental health connotations

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Attack Of The Hollywood Cliches: Saying What We Are Thinking

4.5 /5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A gathering of famous faces and critics get together to rip apart some of the silliest but most pervasive cliches in Hollywood.

I thought this was one of the most spot on and funniest pieces of content I have watched in a long time. You can feel Charlie Brooker’s hand silently influencing events as the show progresses despite his entire lack of involvement, and that is the biggest compliment I could give this film.

Anyone can watch this and understand what they are talking about, but for anyone who has ever studied film this takes on a whole new dimension and almost feels like it is speaking to you. The thoughts and notions all these critics and famous people are having are in-line with our own and you feel like saying ‘thank you’, as someone has finally said it.

I think the strongest element with this is of course Rob Lowe. As anyone who has frequented my reviews will know I do like Rob Lowe quite a bit, he is always good in pretty much any role: this film proves that more than any other as Lowe has the time of his life as host and brings everything together with such fantastic timing and showmanship that quite frankly you are in awe.

Overall, a very funny stand up to film.

Pros.

Lowe

It points out things that you have always thought

It insightful

It feel Brooker esque

Cons.

Not for everyone

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Injustice: Superman, From Boy Scout To Fascist

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Adapting Year One of the Injustice comic run this film imagines a world where the Joker, voiced by Kevin Pollak, gets the last laugh on the heroes by killing Lois Lane, voiced by Laura Bailey, and turning Superman, voiced by Justin Hartley, into a murderous tyrant.

Having read most of the Injustice run I can say that this film gets a lot right. It keeps things simple for the most part, as the comic itself goes into all sorts of crazy directions, which I find works in the film’s favour as you get a neat narrative that is easy to follow whilst also keeping in most of the memorable moments from the comic run.

I enjoyed seeing the Injustice world realised on screen and seeing these groups of heroes facing off against each other, it is a fun game of cat and mouse that is constantly adapting and switching positions. My one complaint in this regard is that the ending of the film wraps things up neatly and doesn’t leave a whole lot open for a sequel, which is a shame as this film could be the start of a few films.

I am glad to see the brutality and gore from The Killing Joke has carried over into this, as the tale really can’t be done justice in a bloodless and child friendly way. This is a dark story for an older audience.

I have two issues with this film that have kept it from achieving full marks, firstly I don’t like the Green Arrow, voiced by Reid Scott, Harley Quinn, voiced by Gillian Jacobs, scenes and secondly it bugged me that this film left out Aquaman, voiced by Phil LaMarr. I understand why they kept in the Green Arrow Harley scenes as the two get a lot of time together in the early days of the comic run but their scenes together really add nothing to the narrative and only feel like they have been included to kill time. Moreover, missing out Aquaman seems like a huge oversight as he is important in the comic run and also leads a country so could have been a good ally to have on side.

Overall, another strong animation from DC.

Pros.

It simplifies the story

The ending

The thrill of heroes fighting

The big moments carry over

Cons.

Leaving out Aquaman

Green Arrow and Harley

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Borley Rectory: Animation Makes Everything Creepier

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

An animated documentary telling the history of ‘the most haunted house in Britain’.

I found this to be quite the frightening watch, the fact it was animated rather than the standard live action documentary really helped to give it a leg up over the competition. In that vein the film offers a number of striking visuals through this medium that stick with you after watching, my favourite and the one I found to be the creepiest would be the ghost man sitting on the little girls bed and turning to look into the camera.

Moreover, I found this to be a good documentary both in the sense that it was entertaining, the learning was fun, but also because it helped me to better understand the haunted geography and landscape of my own country a bit better. Before this I had a base understanding of why Borley Rectory was supposed to be haunted, now I know enough to confidently converse on the subject- as I am doing now.

My one issue with this film would be that it jumped around in time a lot. Now quite a lot of documentaries jump around with time but normally they do it in a linear way as in this happened then this then this, however this film doesn’t abide by that rule and jumps backwards as well as forwards which quickly becomes confusing. This is certainly not the sort of film you can ‘half’ watch as you will soon be lost with it.

Overall, a good creepy documentary.

Pros.

It is scary

The animation gives it an edge

A few good scares

It is interesting

Cons.

It can be confusing

It ends rather abruptly

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The Haunting: Nothing Is Scarier Than Poor CGI

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of insomniacs gather at an old mansion for what they think is a sleep survey, whilst in fact it is a study on fear.

Nighties era CGI really was terrible wasn’t it? Whenever there is a scene featuring a ghost in this film, because of the choice of CGI, it is more funny than scary- it is unintentionally hilarious. This film should have gone with practical effects for its horror as many older films did and some still do today, because the alternative is this and this is downright Scorpion King levels of bad.

The acting is at best spotty at worst weak. There are some personal favourites of mine in this film with Liam Neeson and Owen Wilson both being present however they are given nothing to do and are mostly wasted. Wilson particularly has poor dialogue. The screenplay for this film reads as someone who has never written one before using a screen writing for dummies book to try and get through it, whilst remaining untalented.

The worst thing I found with this film was the pacing, there was big gaps of time without anything really happening only to be punctuated with a terribly written cliched bit of dialogue. It was hard to get through.

Overall, an unscary film with laughably bad CGI.

Pros.

A few interesting ideas

Owen Wilson is still as charming as ever

Cons.

The actors are wasted

The CGI

It is not scary

Pacing issues

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V/H/S 94: Maybe These Tapes Were Better Returned

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Another batch of V/H/S tapes are found.

I was a fan of the first two V/H/S films but honestly they have really lost there way. This film reminded me a lot of some of the worst aspects of Ti West’s films, though he was not involved, schlocky and over the line for the sake of being over the line. Many of the segments in this anthology are honestly unpleasant to watch, and that is saying something considering I am a big fan of the genre and not much bothers me anymore. It almost seems like they are going out of there way to one up each other on who can be the most depressing and needlessly excessive.

On top of that none of the segments are even particularly good. The best of a bad bunch would be ‘Storm Drain’ by Chloe Okuno, as this was the only one I found myself enjoying: moreover I liked the concept of ‘Rat-Man’. I would say the weakest is ‘The Empty Wake’ by Simon Barrett, a regular contributor, as it is simply dull.

In terms of pacing this film is also troublesome. Some of the segments feel double their length and are honestly hard to get through whilst others feel rushed and not done justice, it is a strange mix but wrong on both fronts.

Overall, maybe don’t give this a sequel.

Pros.

The Storm Drain was interesting

Cons.

Edgy for the sake of it

Hard to watch

Depressing

Pacing issues galore

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Paranormal Activity: Antagonizing Demons, Smart Move

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A young couple is plagued by strange goings on so decide to record everything that is happening for reasons.

I remember when I was young and I first watched this I was terrified. A friend had convinced me that it was all real and it really messed me up for a few nights after watching. Now years later I know it is not real but I still find this film scary. I know a lot of the people don’t like the franchise for what it would later become and the litany of clones it spawned, but I think this film plays with expectations and builds tensions in such a superb way.

As the film progress and Micah, Micah Sloat, becomes more and more annoying the tension really does amp up and you start to believe it and really empathises with the couple. Obviously the film uses jump scares in its horror but I think it does it better than later films not just in the series but in the genre as they enhance the atmosphere of fear rathe than acting as a standin.

The film has so much promise and so much mystery, sadly they would ruin that as the series progressed, but this film has a fantastic mythology to it.

My main complaint with this film would be that it has a very slow start, made worse by the use of shaky cam and the whole home video aspect.

Overall, an enjoyable film with a few issues.

Pros.

A strong mythology

A nice tense atmosphere

The ending

A few good scares

Cons.

Pacing issues

Micah is an awful character and is super toxic

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What If: The Watcher Broke His Oath?

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Uatu, voice by Jeffery Wright, assembles the Guardians of the Multiverse to fight back against Ultron.

This was a good episode, but it wasn’t as good as the previous week’s episode and that is the crux of why I feel disappointed.

There was infinite possibilities for what they could have done here, but the no new characters rule again hamstrings the series. Instead of new characters and abilities we get the same old same old, Thor, voiced by Chris Hemsworth, using his hammer, Gamora, voiced by Cynthia McWilliams, using a sword, etc- we have seen that before. The only interesting part of the battle was seeing the various monstrosities that evil Dr Strange, voiced by Benedict Cumberbatch, could summon out of him.

I thought the ending had promise, though was also a little bit sloppy. The ending sees the evil Dr Strange holding the warring factions in a pocket dimension never to be allowed out, they will obviously escape. I just think they could have done so much more with it, with Zola and Ultron and maybe a combination of the two, but no.

I liked that this episode brought back a lot of characters from most of the episodes of the show and helped it feel connected together, rather than just a series of one-offs.

Overall, a strong ending but not as good as the penultimate episode.

Pros.

Assembling a new team

The animation

The promise of what the ending brings

Cons.

The ending feels a bit too easy

It would have been nice to see some new characters feature

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The Rite: Anthony Hopkins Was Made For Horror Roles

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A faithless trainee priest, Colin O’ Donoghue, is send to Rome to become an exorcist.

I went into this film excited because I like Anthony Hopkins and he usually does horror very well, so I had high hopes and whilst the film isn’t bad it certainly is mixed. I think the main issue with this film is the fact that it has all been done before so many times over. This film is content to retread old familiar ground without actually doing anything all that new with it and therein lies the problem.

Whilst there are some scary moments here and there, mainly dream sequences for some reason, I found a lot of the horror to again be overly familiar. The issue with this is that the horror then loses some of its impact as you know what is going to happen before it does.

Hopkins is good as he always is, even in a low budget horror film he brings his A game. However that just isn’t enough to make this film good as the material he is given to work with is bad and his co-stars likewise fair poorly: with the exception of Ciaran Hinds who again tries valiantly but is limited by the material given.

Overall, a few good scares but nothing you haven’t seen before.

Pros.

Hopkins

Hinds

A few good scares

Cons.

Very predictable

Not all the scares land

The ending

It is very up the Catholic Churches rear end

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Star Wars Visions: The Village Bride

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Shortly after the Great Purge a fallen jedi is called to a world threatened by bandits wherein she rediscovers her connection to the Force.

I found this episode to be mixed, whilst there were some interesting things set up and explored for the most part this episode feels incredibly slow and dull. Things start to heat up as the action goes down later in the episode but until that point it feels like a slow meditation over man’s relationship with the world around him which is not what I am watching for.

F, voiced by Asami Seto, is an intriguing hero. We are left to speculate how they survived the Purge and who trained them, I think by not giving us a definitive answer it really helps to boost the mystery of the character as it leaves a lot open to our interpretation and imagination. Sadly, the non-F characters don’t fare as well, with most of them being bland and devoid of anything barely resembling a personality.

The animation/art style here lends itself quite well to the Star Wars world, with it really shining during the later battle sequences, probably my second favourite of the series so far after that of the first episode.

Overall, a slow start weakens the episode but a good climax becomes a new hope for it.

Pros.

The final battle

Leaving things vague about F’s origins

The animation/art style

Cons.

A very slow start

Weak side characters

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