iCarly: i’M a USA Bae

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Carly, played by Miranda Cosgrove, is turned into a doll.

I actually found this to be a fun episode, it made me laugh a lot and I thought the idea of the sexy doll and the lets call it the medieval peasant doll worked well and I liked the message at the end that people are complicated and can’t be easily defined. When the episode first started I thought it was going to be a long drawn out lecture on left wing American feminist ideas, but it didn’t go that way as this show could not handle a topic like that with any proper reverence or nuance.

Moreover, I enjoyed the Freddie, played by Nathan Kress, b-plot wherein he worries that his relationship is in trouble so employs the help of a monkey to try and save it. Yes, the idea is gimmicky and there is no real need for the monkey at all but it al ends up with a sweet ending and that is enough for me.

A downside of this episode is that it brings back Josh Peck’s manager character really just to use him to set up the plot, and to remind us that he and Cosgrove used to star in another show together. I hope that if the show continues to use him it finds a more organic way to include him as currently it feels incredibly shoehorned.

Overall, a fun episode that is a markable high point for this season.

Pros.

The dolls and the franken-doll at the end

The Freddie b-plot

The ending and the moral of it

It is funny

Cons.

Peck feels forced in.

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The Disney Family Market And How Deadpool 3 Is Unlikely

Written by Luke Barnes

In this piece I want to talk about the state of Deadpool 3 and how I think there might be a problem with its production in the House Of Mouse. Please do bear in mind as you read this that technically the film is still being made and that supposedly it will also be R rated.

I think the recent release of both Moon Knight and the sequel to Doctor Strange provide valuable lessons about what a future Deadpool film may look like. With regard to the former, Kevin Feige said that they were going to go dark and not shy away from the violence which gave many fans of the character hope, however, what we got was far more family friendly and toned down then many were expecting. Yes, there was some violence and adult themes but for the most part it was fairly tame. This does not make the prospect of a hard R Deadpool film with violence and swearing likely. With the latter certain parent groups had an issue with the horror elements and went on to complain and kick up a fuss. There is this conception that even though the MCU films are not rated universal or to be watched by all that for some reason they have to appeal to families, maybe it is because Disney banks hard on the family market as such the MCU is hamstrung into what it can get away with without upsetting audiences who want to take their kids to see every Marvel movie.

I really do think that under Disney darker and more brutal characters from wider Marvel comics will suffer. The creator of Deadpool Rob Liefled has repeatedly indicated that there are behind the scenes issues on Deadpool 3 and that there is a disagreement within Disney about what the film should be. In my mind the main issue here is that due to the Disney branding everything is seen as being family friendly when that isn’t always the case, but never the less it has led to a certain expectation from audiences and crucially parents.

I think there is some strange parallel world wherein Deadpool could work toned down and for a more family friendly audience but then this would anger fans of the character and lose the comic diehards that make up Marvel’s most loyal audience. Basically Disney and Marvel are caught between a rock and a hard place, they don’t want to lose the diehards but they also don’t want to lose families either, think about the toys and merchandising.

Ultimately I think Disney will tone down these characters and then try and force them into the MCU and I think it won’t go down well.

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Star Trek Strange New Worlds: Children Of The Comet

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A comet threatens to destroy an inhabited world, and as the Enterprise tries to prevent this they are contacted by a race of aliens that worship the comet as a God.

At the time of writing I have only seen the first three episodes of this show and I can easily say this is the best of the bunch. I think the reason for this is because there is a deeper philosophy at work within this episode that raises some interesting questions. Whether, Pike, played by Anson Mount, and co do the right thing is debated and openly questioned in the episode, I appreciated this as it felt nuanced.

However, the episode isn’t all great. A large part of the episode focuses on Uhura, played by Cecilia Rose Gooding, and whether she can cut it as a Starfleet officer, which as far as sub-plots go is incredibly cliched and overly familiar. What I think makes this worse is that compared to other cast members on this show Gooding is a noticeably weaker actor and as such struggles to convey this basic cliched storyline of feeling incapable and like an outsider. Her emotions barely change over the course of the episode and it becomes a noticeable problem as the arc continues.

Overall, I enjoyed the mature philosophical debate it felt like real Star Trek to me, however in some cases the novice cast of actors is continuing to drag the show down.

Pros.

The morality of the mission

The ending

The new alien race

Mount continues to shine as Pike

Cons.

Gooding

The cliched sub-plot

The humming/ singing

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Senior Year: Is Rebel Wilson The Female James Corden?

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Rebel Wilson plays a seventeen year old who falls into a coma after a cheerleading accident waking up 20 years into the future and having to go back to finish off her senior year.

Prior to watching this I thought it was going to be trash, almost every red flag a film can give you was presented up front, a Netflix original, an adult going back to high school, cliched teens and finally the fact it starred Rebel Wilson. However, once I started watching it I actually found myself somewhat enjoying it and thinking that it wasn’t all bad at all.

The things I enjoyed were three fold, I thought the sentimentality was just right and that it managed to nail the emotional appeal it was going for, I also thought bringing back Alicia Silverstone, of Clueless fame, to play Wilson’s characters prom queen icon who has fallen on hard times was a stroke of genius, and finally the film features Sam Richardson it is very hard to go wrong with him.

However, by no means was this a great or even particularly good film. The mean girls rivalry between Wilson’s character and Zoe Chao’s Tiffany felt forced in and cliched. Moreover, the teen characters who become Wilson’s friends are all incredibly insufferable, they make constant references to contemporary political issues, social media and what it is not okay to say: to make matters even more on the nose in the final scene of the film one of these kids say that they are going to run for office- I groaned louder then I ever have in my life. I truly believe the trio of ageing male writers who put this screenplay together have no idea how kids talk, what they are interested in, or that not every single member of Gen Z is an activist.

Don’t even get me started on the ending dance number that feels like a throwback for the all the wrong reasons.

Overall, not as bad as you are expecting but still not strong.

Pros.

The sentimentality

Silverstone

Richardson

Cons.

All the teen characters

The ending dance number

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iCarly: iDragged Him

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A bunch of pointless hijinks stuffed into an episode so that the season is long enough to meet requirements.

My, my in my last review I talked about how that episode felt like filler, well believe me I knew nothing then. This episode was a slog to get through and was the very definition of filler in almost every way. There is a flaccid a story about Carly, played by Miranda Cosgrove, and Spencer, played by Jerry Trainor, going on a reality tv competition together only for Spencer to suddenly become competitive and a jerk. Again this season seems intent on ruining Spencer as a character, before this episode these uber competitive tendencies had never come up so why did they now all of a sudden? Simply put because the episode needed some mindless drama.

The b plots don’t fare much better, on the one hand you have Harper, played by Laci Mosley, styling some drag queens for some reason. I did enjoy the absurdity of the Reece Witherspoon theme and how they each wanted to be Reece from different films, however, the novelty quickly wore off. On the other hand there is a Freddie, played by Nathan Kress, and Millicent, played by Jaidyn Triplett, story about a model UN meeting. I think this was the best of the numerous vying plots in this episode as it had a nice message of being yourself and not changing for other people.

Honestly, even with a few redeemable features this episode is not one that you will want to finish.

Overall, if the episode number is too many for the producers and creatives of the show to handle they should cut the seasons down and produce less filler garbage like this.

Pros.

It is not offensively bad

The model UN sub plot has a nice message

Cons.

The continued ruining of Spencer

The aimless feel of the episode

It drags on

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The Ghosts Of Borley Rectory: Britain’s Most Famous Ghost Hunter

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Famed paranormal investigator Harry Price, played by Toby Wynn-Davis, investigates the most haunted house in the UK, Borley Rectory.

In many ways this is what you would expect from a straight to DVD film, it is cheap, derivative and looks slightly better than what a decidedly average film studies student may create for an assignment. However, it is not all bad because in that see of roughness I did find some fun to be had.

I enjoyed the atmosphere of this film and thought that it did have a number of good scares peppered in over the course of the runtime. The demon nun angle was a bit cliched and overplayed and felt a little bit too much like they were trying to rip-off better films.

I thought Wynn-Davis was a commendable leading man and managed to keep everything together and going in the right direction. I don’t know if I would say this is the best take on the life and investigations of Harry Price I have ever seen however, as I think Rafe Spall was better in Harry Price: Ghost Hunter.

Overall, a slightly above average horror film with a few good scares. However, it is lowered by feeling too familiar and at times a little predictable.

Pros.

A few good scares

The atmosphere

Wynn-Davis

Cons.

It feels like a knock-off version of other better films

It is deeply predictable

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The Englishman Who Went Up A Hill And Came Down A Mountain: Looking For Love In Wartime Wales

4.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Two cartographers, played by Hugh Grant and Ian McNeice, visit a small Welsh town during World War 1 to measure local features, one of which is a large land mass that the locals say is a mountain -however the cartographers think is a hill. Hijinks ensue.

I think you can’t go wrong with young Hugh Grant, maybe Four Weddings but hey that was a fluke. Grant is at his charming best here and plays the tongue tied English man who of course falls in love with a local Welsh woman, played by Tara Fitzgerald, with gusto. You really end up caring about the central relationship but not perhaps as much as you do for the wider community who come together to turn there hill into a mountain. This is a community that has been ripped apart by war and suffering and to see them all come together to try and save their mountain is honestly heart-warming. There are a few moments wherein the sentimentality does feel a little sappy and American but for the most part the heart is just right.

One thing I would note is that it is pretty poor that none of the leading roles are actually lead by Welsh actors. The three leads are Irish and English. Now I am not going to go on a big rant about representation, but it is quite poor that they couldn’t have got an actual Welsh person for this film.

Overall, Welsh representation aside this film is a heart-warming delight.

Pros.

The romance

The emotion

The ending

It is a lot of fun

Grant

Cons.

The lack of Welsh actors

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Morbius: The Kind Of Film That Reminds You How Good Dracula Untold Was

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Michael Morbius, played by Jared Leto, develops a cure to the terminal illness that has plagued him since birth, however, his cure also turns him into a living vampire.

I am starting to see a lot of aesthetic similarities between Sony’s Venomverse and the Dark Universe, it is in the fact that so far every Venomverse film has felt like an edgy emo teenagers dream with that being especially true with this film. To further the parallels between the Venomverse and the Dark Universe this reminded me in a lot of ways of Dracula Untold, it has a very similar vibe and a lot of the bat related CGI effects feel like they carry over between the films. The writers of this film also wrote Dracula Untold and you can tell in almost every line of dialogue, in many ways a lot of the emotional elements and plot devices from Untold end up bleeding over into this film.

I think Leto was miscast in the role and doesn’t even seem awake for most of the film, to me at least it seemed more like Leto didn’t want to be there and was probably only there to get paid. Leto is a problematic actor and it is for that reason I didn’t watch this in the cinema when it came out, instead waiting for my friend to rent it on VOD so that I could watch it on a visit. No one is on good form here, bar I suppose for Matt Smith you at least seems to be having some fun. I wish Smith could have chosen a better project to jump onto the superhero train with.

I won’t even get into the post credits scene, which yes is as bad as you have heard. There is no rhyme or reason for this scene it stands in the face of any kind of logic, not making sense through No Way Home’s spell idea. It seems the only reason this exists is for the Sony executives, who can’t sleep at night unless they are running comic book characters into the ground, who want a Sinister Six movie for some reason even though the team has little wide appeal or brand value but hey. It makes no sense that Morbius who has spent the film not killing anyone bar the mercenaries at the beginning would team up with Michael Keaton’s Vulture to go and hunt down Spider-Man, it is just dumb.

Overall, a deeply average movie that you probably shouldn’t watch unless you are looking to be bored.

Pros.

It reminded me how much I liked Dracula Untold

Jared Harris

Matt Smith

Cons.

Leto

It is boring

The post credits scene is awful

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In Time: Not Enough Time To Sit Through This

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

In the future people stop aging on their 25^th birthday with a one year countdown then beginning until their death, however, this death can be averted if someone has the means to find and secure more time; usually through connections or cash.

My, my what an uninspired science fiction tale this is. Throughout the film it feels increasingly like the director is trying to shove a message down your throat, what of is hard to say, maybe something to do with seizing the day or capitalism being bad, but ultimately whatever the film’s message is it just comes across as tired and cliched. This is not deep science fiction despite it really wanting to come across like that.

Moreover, after watching I am left asking the question of if this film could have been better had someone else starred in it. The answer to that question is probably, I have never understood the appeal of Justin Timberlake as an actor as often he struggles with even the simplest of roles, as such if a more skilled actor had taken the lead here who knows maybe it wouldn’t have been so underwhelming.

The pacing of this film is also a major issue, it feels far too drawn out and indulgent. The second act feels like a slog that goes nowhere and only exists to kill time, it ruins any excitement you might have after the opening of the film, which is actually okay.

Overall, a lame science fiction film that was all style and no substance.

Pros.

An interesting idea

A few well put together sequences

Cons.

Timberlake

The pacing

The limp message

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The Social Network: Was Mark Zuckerberg Ever Human?

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The story of the founding of Facebook.

I have seen this film well over 5 times it is just so good. The team of Fincher and Sorkin really come together to deliver something amazing here. The dialogue scenes are so impactful and tightly done that each one feels like its own mini action sequence, Fincher keeps the stakes up throughout the film and in my mind does justice to his subject.

I think this film for the most part doesn’t show Mark Zuckerberg, played by Jessie Eisenberg, as either good or bad but rather as just a human being who has seen some troubles in his life. I think Eisenberg is near perfect in the role and I don’t see how anyone else could have played the part, this is probably Eisenberg’s finest performance to date. Moreover, this film features Andrew Garfield which is always a good sign and he too has a strong turn here.

My main issue with the film is that the Napster stuff with Justin Timberlake feels quite like filler and doesn’t really need to be in the film, I think the piece as a whole would be tighter without it.

Overall, a magnificent biopic let down by a needless sub-plot

Pros.

Fincher

Sorkin

Eisenberg

The drama

Cons.

Timberlake and the Napster side plot

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